All Comments on 'Changing Room Inferno: 750 Words'

Phoebe's nightmare, an exhibitionist's delight. And many a chuckle over the morning paper at breakfast. A fun little story. I hope the store's assistant is up for an award.

Excellent use of 750 words.

This little tale was submitted for the 750 word challenge. I enjoyed writing this but am tempted to rewrite and expand this into a proper length story. Hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading.

Liked it! One suggestion: you describe her body as another person would, I know, it's intentional. But, the person doing the observing is her, and the narration is omnicient 3rd person. The description might be, 'she saw what she always saw, things she liked about herself (a,b,c), things she worried about (d,e,f); what she didn't see - and what anyone else would see - was a normal post-college girl with Things to Offer that weren't being noticed.' Your story, sorry if you disagree, it just struck me the perspective in that description was shifted away and it would have rung more true another way? Maybe? Could be I'm wrong. The assistant was male? female? Not stated? Would have affected implications. Also interesting if you would have given her a distinctive very small private-area tattoo that made the papers and had someone ask her about the tattoo as a tomorrow-question.