Cheating Wife Before/After Wedding

Cheating wife before/after wedding + death of my friend

Rant

Me (26m) and my wife (25f) have been married just over a month, my friend (25m) worked with me for 3 years and was one of my best friends

Tltr, my wife has been cheating on me months before the wedding

So we were laying in bed and she received a message from one of my friends and immediately swiped up, I asked her what it was and to see it, she told she "wants to protect his privacy" I reminded her that she's my wife and we should never hide anything, especially messages from other dudes. she freaked out saying "you don't trust me, I can't believe this, I'm sleeping on the couch" and she deleted everything off her phone between him and her and blocked him on everything.

Next day rolls around and she's mad at me, and I'm still mad at her. I man up and tell her she's lost some of my trust but if she's being honest that it really was nothing I would forgive her if I can see the message, she deleted them all and blocked him, My gut was screaming at me but i put it aside and the rest of the day goes on well and without incident.

The next day I woke up from a call from my coworker (different coworker), that my friend killed himself the night before. I was dumbfounded and shocked, I saw him 2 days before and we were talking about his half day he was taking to go fishing.

I could tell that my wife was taking it hard too and I thought it was odd cause she's only met him 3-4 times, and didn't talk much about it with her.

A few days later, the day after we celebrated our 1 month I get a call from the wife saying "hey, please don't go over to "girls" house, I need to talk to you first" I'm confused and say I don't know what she's talking about, than the girlfriend of my friend saying she needs to talk to me and unloads information that my wife and friend have been talking for months, I go over and she shows me the messages, there were "I can't wait for our future together" "I can't wait to meet our children", "I love you" and nudes and all that, talking about "how magical the other day was" I was scrolling through the messages for about 30 minutes and didn't even get to the end of the week. But the last text he sent was to my wife saying "I love you this isn't your fault"

I went home and she was gone, I went on a 2 day bender with no contact with her (besides the occasional drunk "you broke me" texts from me. And no contact with anyone else.

I call my family, tell them what happened, they are worried about me(understandable) and they just keep asking if I have my guns in the house and all that. I reassure them I'm not a danger to myself and just need a few days to decompress. they put me in contact with their lawyer, after close to 6 hours of talking to him, I decided to file for a divorce.

Last night I got a message from her that said "I want to work through this and we should both go to individual and couples counseling. I haven't messaged her back,

I'm terrified that she will try to take me over the coals, but I hope that she is civil about everything, and says "my stuff is mine, your stuff is yours" I hope to god that she isn't pregnant too..

So I'm sitting at home with my 2 dogs waiting for a call from my lawyer saying that she has been served

UPDATE:

First; I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your support. This has been a hard few weeks, but I have gotten through it mostly sober and well enough with the help of my friends and family.

Second; I'd like to explain the backstory a bit, me and my future ex wife have been dating for 6 years and engaged since February, we got married in September, in most all of that time we dated I worked over the road for 4 years, and in the last 2 years I settled into a nice little town where there's steady work in my field that doesn't require me to move around a lot(S2S chemical transfers and spill response) I bought a house 1 year ago(before we got engaged) 3 hours away from where she lived.

Third; The man that she cheated on me with was a good friend of mine, he lived in the same town that I settled in and we were fishing buddies for 2-3 years, I got him a job with me and we worked together for 3 years. I've had him and his girlfriend over at my place for dinner and have been over at theirs for dinner multiple times. I didn't invite him to our wedding (because of a joke he told where the punchline was about fucking someone's wife and he stared at me for 1 or 2 seconds too long) and it made my stomach churn.

Fourth; i discovered that my wife broke things off with him the day before he committed suicide, and that my wife was the last person he texted before doing the deed.

Here's the update. I'm trying to fill in details of the last week or 2, so I have been mostly sober the last few weeks, only going out occasionally and to be out with friends, no sad home alone or sitting at the bar alone drinking. I did not attend the funeral or memorial service for the recently departed. I've been trying to keep my contact with my wife as little as possible, answering questions about health insurance, and other similar things. Shortly after my first post I hired a lawyer and had him start writing up the paperwork for a divorce. 3-4 days after she left, I was told by my friend that my wife texted her and said she was in the hospital for a suicide attempt. An hour later I got a text from my wife saying she was released because she "promised not to hurt herself" to the staff (i think she was lying, that's not how hospitals in that area deal with life ending attempts). A day later after that, I got the Apple Watch from the (departed man's) girlfriend, which has messages dating back to about the day that we got back from our honeymoon (early October). I gave the watch to the lawyer and he has all of the messages and pictures now for the case, as for anything before that date, they both deleted messages so I can't see them till we get the phone back from the police. There has really been no other communication besides setting up a time when she can come and get more of her clothes, me and the (departed mans) girlfriend have talked occasionally and I've thanked her for telling me even though I know it must have been extra heart breaking for her, I'm going to be gifting her a lot of stuff, or just probably anonymous cash in the mailbox to help her and her daughter out

The divorce was filed on 10/22/21, and she should be getting served soon, by the end of today 10/29/21 or by next week. I still do not think she knows about my plans of divorce and I'm fine with that. The lawyer said that our state is a no fault state, so technically she would have the ability to try and claim half of my things, but since the marriage was so short the judge will just separate us with our things from before the marriage. I'm not looking to go after anything of hers, I don't want her car, I don't want her money(not that she has any). I just want to keep my house, car, dogs and retirement. And I just hope to god that she is not pregnant.

So that's about all that has happened in the last few weeks. I'll answer comments and messages to the best of my ability and give an update rather soon. Thank you all :)

UPDATE 2

So after a while more and more people from work started telling me that they knew about the affair, but didn't want to tell me because "it wasn't my place" or "i didn't want to make things awkward". Apparently the guy was not quiet about it, and was sending her nudes around work, so I've had guys come up to my wife saying "hey dude isn't this your wife?" I also learned that she sent him money a couple times.. part of the money that I sent her to pay for the wedding, and that they have been continually calling each other daily 3-6 times a day for months, and at some point they had gotten a hotel room together sometime in August or September. She has continually lied until I bring up another fact, and another fact. So I just stopped contact, she may be coming over tomorrow or this weekend to get some of her things, I have a friend coming over to basically supervise, so she can't say I did anything. I have most of her stuff packed up.

She got served this weekend and I couldn't be happier, although everything honestly seems bland and bleak.. I spent the last 6 years of my life dedicated to her, we were planning our future, and she threw it all away... and she really thought that there would be some semblance of forgiveness and a relationship and that we could heal together after this.. before she got served.. I have my family and certain friends to thank for their constant love and support. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for your advice and support through this time in my life.