Clara

"He doesn't care. Man like that only cares about what he wants."

I nodded, guessing he was right. Thaddeus was right about most things.

"Clara was saying Kristina's time is almost on her," Theodora offered.

"I knew it was coming up," Thaddeus nodded. "I'll be ready."

There were shouts and screams from outside and we all looked to the front. Thaddeus shot out the door to the front and Theo and I followed. I smelled smoke as soon as I got outside and we all followed where the people were headed to and running to.

Theodora was much taller than I was and when she caught my shoulders and hugged me, I knew something was wrong. I pulled away and kept going, then worked my way to the front when people stopped and were gathered. I pushed through and looked up at the burning apartment building in shock. My apartment building.

I hurried closer and a man caught my arm. "Stay back, girl!"

"That's my home! Kristina's pregnant, she needs gotten out of there!"

"She is out, she is over there with her husband," he called, hurrying away.

I ran to where he pointed and James was holding Kristina as she lay on the ground crying and moaning.

"Are you ok?" I blurted, though I could see she wasn't.

James turned. "YOU! Where the hell were you? I had NO help getting her and our things out of there!"

"She sent me off for medicine! I was picking up her tonics!"

"Ungrateful wretch!" he yelled, standing and slapping me.

I cried out and stumbled back, hiding my face and turning so Dodger wouldn't be hit if James struck again.

"Here now!" Thaddeus yelled. "There is no cause for that, she was doing as she was told!" He knelt next to Kristina and felt around her tummy, then checked her pulse. "You seem just fine," he told her soothingly. "You were gotten out quickly, not even any smoke damage in your chest."

"I am NOT fine!" she shrieked. "I am in pain! Horrible pain! James! Tell him! This is all too traumatic!"

Thaddeus stood and I could tell he was trying especially hard to be patient. "I will send for a cart to get you to a hotel. From there you can see about another place. I will go and finish getting your medicine ready, Mrs Halifax, so you won't be in so much pain. I will also get something for your nerves and to calm you down so you can rest more easily."

"And don't forget the pain!"

"Of course not. Clara, come with me so you can return the..."

"She stays with me!" James snapped. "She needs to help with Kristina! YOU can deliver the medicine when you come and check on her! We will be at the Bennington!"

Thaddeus only nodded and gave me a worried look before he left. I hurried around to Kristina and knelt next to her, rubbing her shoulders and massaging her head like she liked.

We stayed at the hotel for three days. I didn't mind having to sleep in the pantry off the kitchen downstairs since there was no room for me in the room. The new apartment was much smaller and there was no crawl space. I had to make a pallet in the corner of the baby's room, James telling me I could help with the baby when Kristina needed sleep.

It wasn't a week later that I had to run in the middle of the night to get Thaddeus.

Baby Kate was born in the early hours of the morning and Kristina fell asleep immediately after. I had no knowing of how to care for a baby, but Theodora showed me and helped me while Thaddeus took care of Kristina.

He had to come back every day for almost a week, Kristina wailing constantly about needing help and how bad the pain was. She would hardly feed Kate at all and only for a few minutes. Theodora showed me how to supplement milk for her.

I was being run ragged, but I liked holding little Kate and Dodger was enamoured with her. I slept when I could while Kate was sleeping and I wasn't cooking or cleaning or running errands.

James spent more and more time out of the apartment and always came home drunk. Kristina screamed and raged at him and more often than not, he slept on the couch.

It was a particularly bad day and I was so tired as I trudged down to the apothecary to get Thaddeus.

He looked both upset to see me and worried for me. "She claims she needs you right away. Says something is wrong on her belly and she hurts more'n ever," I said tiredly.

He nodded. "Alright little one. You look in sore need of sleep? Have you been getting any rest at all?"

"Some, here'n there," I managed.

"I have a full schedule, but I will come this evening after I close up here. That is the soonest I can come, there are other sick people too."

I nodded. Kristina would pitch a fit, but I would just give her something to make her sleep. I was so tired on the way home, I hardly noticed when Henry cut me off.

"Hello, Clara," he said lightly.

I stepped back, terrified.

"You look horrible! Ready to move out yet? Lot of people talking about how badly you are being used by them. Surely being married is a better prospect."

"Let me pass, please. Kristina is expecting me and she's hurtin'."

"No creature with you today?" he asked. I didn't dare tell him that Dodger had scrambled down the back of my dress and was clutching my leg under my skirts. "If you want to get home, how about a kiss before you go?" he asked, cocking his head.

"I want no kisses from you. Didn't James tell you to leave off or else?"

"Else what? What will he do? He lost what little he had left in that fire and even the pittance he has he pisses away to get drunk. How long before he sees what he has in you and decides what I come to offer him is a more than fair price? Even offer them a place on our estates with real servants? He will be eager to give you over then, won't he?"

"You wouldn't do that!"

"Why wouldn't I? To get what I want? To have you?"

"Let me pass, Henry! I won't kiss you or marry you or... anything!"

"We'll see," he laughed, then grabbed my face and forced a kiss on me as I struggled. He didn't hurt me, just forced the kiss. He let me go and laughed again as he walked away.

I ran home and huddled against the door, thinking about what he had said. James would sell me in a second if he could, especially for the chance to live on a grand estate again! What could I do? Where could I go? I didn't know anything and I had no real friends, just acquaintances.

Kate started crying and I hurried to her before going in to tell Kristina what Thaddeus had said. She threw an epic fit, making Kate scream louder, which made Kristina angrier. I gave her sleep medicine and hurried to the other bedroom, the only place with a semblance of peace. It took a long time to get Kate calmed down enough to eat and then go back to sleep.

I heard James come in and him and Kristina fighting again. I watched Kate and hoped she didn't wake.

The door opened suddenly and I jerked as I stood up. James came in and looked me over drunkenly.

Henry. Henry had found him and asked him, I just knew it.

"Kristina... that bitch," he slurred angrily, his voice low as he shut the door quietly. "Won't be a wife to me! Claims she can't! Come here," he demanded.

I took a step closer fearfully. Dodger scurried down my dress and darted under the crib.

"Take off that dress," James sneered. "Take it off and get down on them blankets. Bend over for me," he demanded, undoing his belt.

I shook my head, horrified as I backed up.

"Do it now or I stomp that stupid animal to death in front of you!"

I shook my head again, my breath catching. This wasn't real!

"On your fucking knees, Clara, now! You wake the baby or Kristina and I snap your neck after I kill that rat!"

I turned my back to him and undid my dress, shaking from head to toe. I slid it off, then whimpered when his hand slid over my shoulder. He pushed me down to my hands and knees, then dropped to his knees behind me. I heard him undoing his pants and I wanted to scream. He shoved my underwear down and I let out a sob and then a cry as he touched me between the legs. He fumbled for a moment, then bent enough to shove my knees wider and went back to fumbling before rubbing a single finger through my nether lips. I let out another cry of fear as I began sobbing, but I didn't dare try and stop him. His finger found my hole and he pushed it in slightly as I let out another wail of terror.

"Shut up! Keep your mouth shut you worthless little bitch!" he hissed, punching the back of my head.

His fingers went back to my pussy as I trembled.

"Sir, you need to back away from that girl right now."

I let out a sob of relief at the sound of Thaddeus' voice.

"Get the hell out of here! This doesn't concern you! I can punish her and use her as I see fit!"

"You will unhand that girl and you will leave this room, or I will tell the entire city what I caught you trying to do to her."

James growled, then punched me in the head again before he got up and left the room. I collapsed to my blankets, sobbing into them as Dodger ran to me and held my face. Like he was trying to comfort me now.

A hand on my shoulder made me whimper and jerk again, but it was Thaddeus as he rolled me to look me over. He pulled his coat off and covered me before picking me up and walking out the front door with me. Dodger held on to my face as he sat on my neck and chattered at Thaddeus as if he was telling on James.

Thaddeus didn't say a word as he took me back to the apothecary and in, then upstairs to where he and Theodora lived.

"Theo!" He called.

She came out of the kitchen, then saw me and ran to me. "Henry?" she asked as Thaddeus laid me on the couch.

"James," he answered, anger in his voice. "I went to check on Kristina and... heard her crying. Help her dress please, I will be downstairs."

He left and Theodora hugged me close and I cried into her shoulder. "Hush now, you are here! You are safe!"

"I cain't leave Kate there! I have to go back, no one will care for her!"

"I will see she is taken care of," Theo promised. "She will have a happy home with good people and the Halifax's will never hurt anyone again. Come now, let's fix your dress and get you some tea."

She helped me fix my dress and laid me back down before hurrying to the kitchen to make tea.

I opened my eyes to daylight coming from the windows and I stared. I had slept. I had slept the sleep of exhaustion and heartache. Dodger lifted his face and chattered at me. I could swear he was asking me if I was alright.

I hugged him and kissed his little head. "I'm ok," I whispered.

"You're awake!" Theo said happily. "I am thinking you haven't slept like that in a long while! Here now, I've a friend who had a few of her daughters' dresses from before she grew out of them. A few alterations and they are perfect! Let's get you a nice hot bath and some clean clothes, you will feel much better!"

"Dodger needs a bath too," I yawned sleepily, sitting up.

She looked alarmed as she smiled. "Of course he does! I will run him one in the basin!"

"He usually just gets in with me," I told her, letting her lead me to the bathing room.

"Well! Now you can each have your own! Won't that be nice?"

I shrugged, not seeing how it mattered. Theo stayed in the bathroom and helped scrub Dodger who played in the water. She chatted at me the entire time and I sat and scrubbed myself, staring at her. She talked a lot. A whole lot.

"All nice and clean now!" Theo announced. "Let's get dressed and have some lunch!"

I let her dress me, not that she gave me much choice, and then do my hair.

"Dodger likes it down," I told her as she started to pin it up.

"Perhaps we can try it up just once and see if he minds it much?"

I shrugged.

When Thaddeus came up and joined us for lunch, I suddenly felt tense. He smiled at me, but it was a wary smile. One that said he was half afraid of me. I looked down at the plate full of food, still feeling odd about sitting at the table with them. "Thanks for stoppin' what was happenin'," I said to my plate.

"Of course. Let us not speak of it again. Did you sleep well? Are you... in any pain or... in need of anything?"

"He didn't get at me if that's what you mean. He was just getting to it."

"I see," he said faintly. "Well. Ahhh... how did you sleep?"

"Ain't slept so well ever. That couch is a lot softer than the ground under the apartement, and the wooden floor."

"You slept on the ground?" Theo asked, alarmed. "Like, bare earth?"

"I had a pallet," I shrugged. "Some old clothes I outgrew and a blanket they give me."

They looked at each other and they looked embarrassed for some reason.

"Well now. There will be no more of that!" Theo said primly. "It so happens my bed has a lovely trundle and I would be pleased if you would stay with me."

"Truly?" I asked, shocked. "I can cook and clean and do all that needs doin', and I wouldn't ever be a bother!"

"Hush, child," Thaddeus said gently. "You need do nothing. We are happy to have you as our guest."

"But I'd feel better if I could help!"

"If you really want to," Theo said, waving Thaddeus off. "I would love to have some help with the cooking! Especially someone to talk to!"

I smiled, but I was also afraid. Was it a trick? Would they start being mean to me? They were just getting me to say yes and then they would show their real faces? I decided I didn't care. I knew the Halifax's weren't an option anymore, and they couldn't be worse than them.

I nodded, smiling again and hoping they weren't going to turn out terrible.

Theo clapped her hands and laughed. "It's going to be so exciting! Having another girl close to talk to!"

I was happy too, excited for it, even though Theo was easily three times my age and more. Thaddeus gave me a pleased smile, like he was also happy I was staying.

I helped Theo upstairs and Dodger actually let me go and explored a bit. Theo went down a few times when she heard the bell on the door ring as customers came in. I stayed upstairs, happily rolling dough or cutting up apples, or whatever else I had been doing.

In the afternoon, someone knocked on what I had thought was a bedroom or closet door. Theo opened it and it led to the outside, to metal stairs that came up the back of the building to their apartment. She paid the boy for milk as I watched in astonishment. A door outside from the second story!

Thaddeus finally closed up downstairs and came up for dinner, and they included me in conversation as we ate. It was pleasant and it felt good. It felt like a home and family. Theo felt like a much older sister and I loved that. I never thought to have a sister.

The trundle bed was like a dream! So incredibly soft I sunk down into it and I sighed. But I could not sleep. An hour passed. Two. I realized it was too soft. The couch was padded, but much harder. I slipped out of bed and went out to the couch, then considered a blanket. Should I go back and get one? There was fabric on the end and I felt for it. Thad's jacket. I pulled it over me and when I caught the scent, it smelled like safety. Like it had when he had saved me. I felt safe. I fell asleep quickly, curled up under the jacket and Dodger snugged into my chest.

I opened my eyes to daylight and looked right at Thaddeus. He was standing a few feet away, looking down at me with a strange expression. I shifted and his eyes jerked to mine.

"Clara! You are awake! Ahhh...umm, yes. I was just pondering how I might retrieve my jacket to go down to work," he said, blushing furiously.

I held it out to him, yawning and stretching. "Sorry. The bed was too soft and I forgot a blanket."

"I had hoped it wasn't Theo's snoring," he said lightly.

"I heard that!" Theo called from the kitchen.

Thaddeus grinned at me, then turned pink again. "Why don't you dress and we will have breakfast?" he asked.

I looked down at my nightgown and shrugged. It was loose cotton and showed less than a dress, why should I be ashamed of it? I changed anyway, wondering if it was bad manners to have breakfast in a gown. Kristina always had breakfast in her gown. On second thought, it probably WAS bad manners.

"Don't you look lovely!" Theo cried happily.

Thaddeus looked me over, frowning. "Theo... is that a child's dress?"

"I let the bust out! It fits her fine and you hardly notice it."

"I noticed," he told her, blushing and looking down at his breakfast. "And if I notice, anyone will. Can you have some made? Some..."

"It is being done! This is just for now, until they are finished."

He nodded, still red.

I looked at both of them, wondering why it mattered. My old dress was a girl's dress too. Even if it was worn to rags, it was just a dress. Why did it matter?

I shrugged it off and went back to eating. "So how come you ain't married?" I asked Theo, marveling at how well she cooked.

She blushed this time, arranging things needlessly around her plate. "I... have never really been asked."

"Why not? I never met a cook as good as you and you are about the nicest lady I ever met."

She smiled again, still blushing and I could tell it was a forced smile. Maybe she was picky.

"What about you?" I asked Thaddeus.

He offered another forced smile. "I was engaged, twice actually. The first time, her father found her a better match. A richer man. The second time... it didn't really work out."

"How come?"

He chuckled and shook his head ruefully. "You are unabashedly blunt, aren't you?" he asked, but it was said kindly. "She already had a lover. She didn't want me, she discovered that what I did was lucrative and thought to use me."

"What's lucrative?" I asked, never having heard the word.

"It means he is very good at what he does and people value him for it," Theo said quickly.

"I can see that. That old man, the one who gave me Dodger. I can't imagine he valued anyone more than he valued you that day."

Thaddeus gave me a sober look, his eyes searching mine. He gave a small smile, then a slight nod before standing. "I have work to be about!"

He left and I looked at Theo. "Did I upset him?"

"Not at all. The opposite actually. Let's clean up, shall we?"

I spent another heavenly day with Theo, cooking and talking and playing with Dodger. He was being much more outgoing now and even playing with a ball of yarn she rolled around for him. It was almost perfect!

When Thaddeus came up for dinner, even he looked pleased and content as he sat reading the paper after dinner.

There was another knock on the high door not half an hour after dinner and Theo jumped up to get it. "Can't imagine who it might be, patients know not to come around this side," she said softly, hurrying to the door.

Dodger ran to me and right up my leg under my skirt.

Henry stood at the door, smirking with a constable and James behind him.

"What is this?" Thaddeus demanded as I stood and put the couch between me and the door.

"I have offered a heavy dowry to her legal guardian," Henry smiled amiably. "I have come to collect my fiance."

"I ain't willin'!" I spat angrily.

"Nonetheless, you are your fathers to give unless you are already married. And you are not. So come along, Clara. Be civil about this. There is no reason to get these good people involved and in trouble."

"I moved out! I'm my own person now! I'm over 18 and it's MY choice!"

"Unless he accepts a dowry for you and you are unwed," the constable spoke.

I felt panic well up, and with it bile. I shook my head. "He ain't my real father! He tried to rape me!"

"It is so, I walked in on it and stopped him," Thaddeus agreed quickly.

Henry turned to scowl at James, but James shook his head. "Nothing ever happened and it wasn't what it looked like! I was just punishing her! He misunderstood is all! Clara! You ungrateful brat! Get over here! Do you know what this means to Kristina and I? For Kate? And YOU? A good home on expansive estates! Servants, real servants again! Cooks, nice clothes!"