Clara

I shook my head. "I don't want none of that! I want not to be hurt! To just be happy! I like it here! Where they are nice and they smile! Dodger likes it here too because they are good people!"

"Enough!" Henry snapped. "Constable, take her."

"You can't!" Theo yelled, stepping up. "She is engaged. They spoke this morning. Thaddeus and Clara are engaged to be married. She said the words, stated her intent, she is no longer his to give."

"That so?" the constable asked.

I was too stunned and confused to answer.

"Yes," Thaddeus said softly, moving closer to me and putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

Safety.

I smelled it, and it washed over me, calming me. I gave a small nod, not trusting my voice just then.

"I don't agree to that!" James yelled. "He didn't ask me and I didn't give my blessing!"

"You don't have to," the constable said. "She is of age."

"She is obviously lying," Henry seethed. "Look at her! She had no notion of what that woman just said at all! She just made it up on the spot and they are playing along!"

"We are not," Thaddeus said gravely. "We will be wed this Saturday. None of you are invited, but you can read of it in the paper."

"Clara! Do you know what this will do to us?" James screamed.

Theo moved in front of the door, cutting off their line of sight. "Perhaps you can find a crawlspace to sleep in," she snapped, then slammed the door in their faces.

I stood there in shock, but Thaddeus quickly moved his hand and stepped away.

"I'm sorry!" Theo whispered to Thaddeus. "It was all I could think of to keep her safe!"

Thaddeus only blushed and glanced at me. "I am sorry, child. If you wish it, we will find a way out of the city for you, send you to a place in the country."

"I don't know anything about anything," I shrugged, light headed. "There ain't nowhere I can go. I... I guess I can try and get on as a maid somewhere as long as they don't mind that I cain't read or write. And they let me keep Dodger. Or maybe I can leave him here with you? He likes you. As long as he is safe and happy... I will do my best to find my way I guess."

Thaddeus gave a curt nod, then went to his room.

Theo took hold of my arm and sat me down. "Or you could stay?"

"So they could come back once they find out you lied?"

"What if it wasn't a lie?"

"You saw the way he just looked at me and how quick he offered to be rid of me? What would he want with a girl like me? There's women out there like you he could find."

Theo laughed, tears coming to her eyes. "Oh, Clara, I do adore you! No one has ever made me feel as wanted and valuable as you have. Now, you listen to me. My brother has been pining after you for some time now. Your always positive attitude, no matter how bad things were for you, your smile, your laugh, your kind and beautiful heart. And you are smart, Clara. Even if you think you are not. There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity. And you are beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. He feels as though he is not good enough for you! That is why he offered to help you leave. To give you a way out from being forced to marry him. When you said you would try and leave, he thought it meant you could not see him that way. I apologized to him for outing his feelings the way I did, not because I stuck him with you. He adores you. He thinks he is too old and not handsome enough or clever enough."

"But he's the smartest man I ever met! And he saved me. He makes me feel safe and he even smells like safety."

"Smells like..." she began, confused, then shook her head. "Clever and smart are not the same either. He means he thinks he cannot come up with quips and quick comebacks and things to say to make a girl smile. He fears he will not be able to keep you happy."

"It takes little to keep me happy," I whispered, astonished. Did he really feel that way, or was she trying to keep me around because SHE liked me and wanted me to stay. She wanted a sister. I thought of something else. "Is this what you meant the day you spoke out of turn about me? Calling him old and everything?"

"Yes. I said HE thought he was too old, but he wasn't. He should speak to you and say how he felt. He was embarrassed because he thought you understood what I said and you ran because it horrified you. You wouldn't speak so as not to encourage him. It wasn't until later that I understood that you never knew what I was saying, you only thought I was saying bad things about you. He adores you, Clara, truly. He wanted to get you away from them a long time ago, but didn't know how to do it without speaking up to you and he didn't have the courage for that. He has been hurt in the past and he thinks himself unloveable now."

"But he's so... perfect. So smart and kind and Dodger loves him. Who wouldn't love a man like that, even if he is older?"

"Are you saying you would like to stay?"

I thought about it a moment and realized I didn't have to think about it much at all. I stood up and pulled away from Clara's hands going to his room. I didn't knock, I just went in and he looked up from the edge of his bed. His eyes were rimmed red and that broke my heart a little.

He did feel for me.

I walked up to him and pushed him to sit up, then climbed up in his lap. "Ask me proper then," I said, holding my hand up.

He looked stunned and confused. "I... I don't have a ring on me..."

"No, you're s'posed to kiss my hand and whatnot and ask me all nice. I seen men kissing hands and such. It's the proper way."

He shook his head, confused and amused, then took my hand gently and kissed it.

"There now. You can ask. If you want. I will say yes."

He laughed out loud and hugged me to his chest. "You are... amazing, Clara. You... don't have to do this if you don't want to. Don't feel forced to."

"I don't. I like you. Dodger likes you too'n that means somethin'. And you're safe. And kind. And smarter than anyone else in the world. And... I've never wanted to be kissed before, not on my hand or anywhere... but I like the thought of it being you. You can kiss me on the mouth if you want, I will kiss back even."

He laughed again and took my face in his hands. "You truly are so unabashedly innocent, sweet girl. On one hand I should be angry that they kept you this sheltered, on the other it is so refreshing! I will kiss you soon, Clara. I am eager to do so even, but we will wait until Saturday."

"Does that mean I cain't sleep in here by you either?" I asked, pushing on his bed.

"What?" he almost choked.

"Your bed ain't so soft as the other. I never slept on a real bed before and I think I could sleep in this one."

He chuckled again and hugged me close, kissing the top of my head. "You may sleep in here, Clara. I will sleep on the couch until Saturday."

"But there's plenty of room, ain't there? I don't take up much space and Dodger goes right to sleep at bedtime, he don't play around or anything!"

"It isn't something that is done," he said gently. "We are not married yet."

"Same as," I shrugged, confused. "Couple days. You mean we cain't sleep close until we have a piece of paper? Henry was making me kiss him and we weren't married. That's a far sight more than just sleeping."

He just smiled and hugged me again as Dodger ran circuits around both of our shoulders. Like he was weaving us together.

I finally sat up. "You can kiss my hand again though, right?" I asked, holding up my hand.

"You are such a treasure," he whispered, taking my hand and turning it, then kissing the inside of my wrist.

The hair all over my entire body tried to stand up as my skin prickled and tingled. "That... was nice. I liked that."

He smiled slightly and dragged his lower lip down my wrist to my inner forearm.

I shivered and got goosebumps.

He kissed my arm and turned to look at me.

"Don't you dare stop!" I told him, watching him with wide eyes.

His laugh then was incredulous as he picked me up and stood, carrying me out to the living room. "Theo, I need help!" he called, still laughing.

She came out of the kitchen quickly, looking curious.

"Take this temptress to your room and get her ready for bed. I am going for a walk to cool my head."

"What's a temptress?" I asked Theo.

Thaddeus was still laughing as he went downstairs.

Theo grinned and we went back to her room to put our gowns on.

"What's a temptress?" I asked again, a little frustrated.

"It is someone who... tempts another into doing something they know they shouldn't. Thaddeus is a bit old fashioned in some ways. I am guessing your... propensity for saying exactly what you are thinking sparked something in him that made him want to act before you should. Before you are married."

"What's... propenticy?"

"Propensity. It means you are inclined to do something a lot. Like you are always speaking your mind no matter what, even if it isn't a socially acceptable thing to say."

"He said I was refreshing."

"You are! But sometimes it is also... a little embarrassing. Not badly, just enough to be a little uncomfortable. But since you have no idea and you aren't saying it to be vulgar, it is very different. You are just... naive. And I know you do not like that word, but it is true. I love your naivete, so does he. It means you will never be false with him and he adores that. But it also means you tell uncomfortable truths. Such as when you said James... did not...umm..."

"Go at me? Should I have said it another way?"

"No, see that's what I mean. Most people wouldn't mention that at all in mixed company. Or... you know... coupling in general."

"Coupling?"

"A man and woman sharing a bed."

"What's wrong with that? He was hung up on that too? Seems fairly tame compared to other things if you ask me. Goin' at each other is a lot more dirty than just sleepin'."

"No! Coupling is... sharing a bed to couple... have babies?"

"Go at each other?"

"Yes," she sighed, exasperated. "They are just more genteel ways of saying it."

"Amounts to the same thing. So he thought when I wanted to sleep in his bed that I wanted him to go at me? I just liked the bed, it's not too soft like that one there. I've never slept in a real bed before."

"Ahh... well... yes. Sleeping together is not normally appropriate until the wedding night."

"Why not? Sleep is so... harmless. Not even as bad as kissin. Hey," I whispered, pitching my voice low and leaning closer. "Did you know it felt so good to have your wrist kissed? I never knew until he did it. Oh, and he asked me by the way. Kissed my hand and everything."

"Oh..." she said faintly. "I... I did not know that."

"I got shivers all over! I asked him not to stop and he brought me out here to you. Do you think if I asked again after we were married he would do it again and not stop?"

"Oh... ummm... probably. I couldn't really say."

"He wouldn't kiss me on the mouth either. Said we had to wait till we were married even though Henry kissed me twice when I wasn't even willing. Are you SURE he likes me like that?"

"Positive," she smiled. "Just old fashioned. He wants to make your wedding night very special."

"What if I want this night AND that night to be special? Can't they both be special?"

Theo giggled, hiding her mouth behind her hand. "I know why he left!"

I sighed, not understanding them at all. It felt good. Didn't he LIKE feeling good? If he liked me like I liked him, wasn't it perfectly normal to want to feel good? Maybe that was what was wrong.

"Should I kiss on his wrist? Make him get shivers too? Is that what I did wrong?"

Theo shook her head, her eyes shining with mirth as she giggled again.

"I don't know. Maybe I will try it and see. That's him! He's back! I'll tell you how it goes!" I whispered, hurrying out front.

He smiled at me, his look fond as I walked up to him. I took his hand and pulled him to his room, making him sit down again as he watched me with high eyebrows.

"I know what I did wrong," I said happily, pulling his arm close. I kissed his wrist and he went tense and I kept kissing all the way to the sleeve of his shirt and back, then ran my tongue over his pulse and kissed up his hand, pulling his thumb into my mouth.

"Oh!" he breathed, half panting. "Clara!" he choked.

"Is that not right either?" I asked him.

"No, no, that is perfect... I... Umm... I... we should probably get some rest before tomorrow!"

"And you are sure we can't sleep right here? I didn't mean I wanted you to go at me. Umm, couple or make a baby. Just sleep."

He looked like he was at a complete loss for words.

"Theo said it wasn't genteel to speak a certain way but also that you liked that I said what was on my mind. I will say that I have a mind to want to sleep close to you. You really do make me feel safe and I like how you smell. I won't mind if you kiss me... or my wrist. But I don't want you to go at me. Not yet. Just sleep. But I want that side of the bed. I think I would like waking up to a window and light. You can put a hand on me like you did before. I liked that too. When you put your hand on my shoulder, like you were showing them that I belonged to you? That was a nice feeling and I liked it. I like feeling like I belong to someone as amazing as you. But that means you belong to me too and I will promise to try and be more worthy of that..."

Thaddeus took my shoulders and pulled me down to the bed as he rolled over me, then pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was gentle and loving, so much better than what Henry had forced on me.

I liked kissing him. I loved the feel of his warm hands holding my face gently, his full lips on mine, toying and teasing and sucking.

When he finally pulled back, both of us breathless, he gave me a small smile. "I find, sweet girl, that I do not care what is socially acceptable right now either. I would love to sleep next to you tonight, it would be my honor and my pleasure. And Clara... you are more than worthy. I will be more pleased than you can imagine to show you your worth in my eyes."

I only stared up at him, wishing he would kiss me again. As he looked down at me, I decided to stop wishing and grabbed his face and pulled him closer as I lifted to meet him halfway.

After several more moments of heavenly kisses, he pulled back again, smiling softly. He pulled me close as if hugging me, then just held me there in his arms. It was warm and comforting and I felt myself relaxing all over as Thaddeus held me. Dodger liked it too, wedging himself into the little spot between my neck and Thads chest and arm.

I woke to sunlight tugging at my eyes and opened them to look out. The warm orange glow coming in the window made me feel like this moment was magical. I didn't want it to end, not at all.

Thaddeus stirred and lifted his head, looking down at me to smile again as his cheeks turned pink again.

"Mornin'," I grinned. "I think I love sleepin; here and wakin' up right here. You see how pretty that light is comin' in?"

"It is a lovely sight to wake to," he rumbled, still staring down at me.

"I got thinkin'," I told him, sitting up so I could turn and see him better. "If I'm to be your wife, I can be the one who stays up here and makes you meals and whatnot, does your cleanin' and all that."

His eyebrows rose and he looked concerned. "You don't want Theo here?" he asked, almost hurt.

"Course I do! But now she would be free to help you even more downstairs! She could do all that needed doing down there along with you and I could do all the things I know how to do up here. That way she isn't spread so thin between the two!"

His face relaxed as he smiled. "Theo enjoys cooking and all that. She'd prefer not having to help me, she only does it because there is no one else. Perhaps I could show you and you could help me?"

"I ain't near as smart as Theo, I could never know all the things she does and..."

"You are incredibly smart, my little Clara. You learn so quickly and you soak up knowledge like a sponge. And with your huge heart? You are meant for work like mine, helping people."

"I dunno about that. Man like Henry come in wanting help, I might help him along to his end rather than help'm get better."

Thaddeus chuckled. "Well, we are all guilty of hardening our hearts to those who do us, or others, wrong. My sweet Clara," he sighed. "We will find the way that works best for us... but I hope you understand if I don't want you out of my sight for a week or two after we are married. I will keep you down there close to me just so that I can look at you often and know that you are real and not some dream I conjured up."

"And to steal kisses when no one is watchin'?" I asked hopefully.

His smile broadened. "As many as you will allow."

"Maybe we should just stay right here a week or two then," I sighed. "Since I'll allow as many as you can give in a day. N'more even. Once we have that piece of paper, we can go at each other all we want, cain't we? Just stay right here'n not leave? You'll have to teach me though. I seen James'n..."

"Clara!" Thaddeus breathed quickly. "Clara, a talk for another time," he laughed, his face red. "I will take a few days off work, but I cannot take too long. Too many people rely on me and what I do. Once I take on an apprentice and teach him, we can perhaps get away a bit longer. Travel even. Would you like that?"

"As long as there's a bed'n you, I don't care where I am. Thad?"

"Yes, Clara?" he asked as he got up.

I let out a sigh of loss. "You ever figure there's a smaller place you could go?"

"Smaller place?"

"A place with fewer people. You could still be a doctor to all of'm, but they wouldn't demand so much time."

"I hadn't really considered it, but I suppose there is."

"Am I wicked for wantin' more of your time for myself? Knowin' what you do is important to so many... I just wish I could have you for a week or two."

Thaddeus smiled, his beautiful, pleased smile and leaned over me to kiss my head. "Sweet Clara, it is not wicked or even selfish to want that. It warms my heart completely because I have wanted the same for so long... For now, though, I have to get up and open my shop. Theo is going to spend the day helping me and getting you ready for Saturday, she will be having people in to fit you for a dress and arrange other things as well. A wedding is a large affair and there is a lot to do. She was probably up half the night writing invitations," he laughed.

"I will get breakfast then!" I smiled happily, hopping up to go and start cooking.

Thad was right, Theo had been up most the night writing invitations and she was all flustered with everything that needed to be done. It was a happy sort of flustered though as she smiled at me and chattered at me even more than usual. I never seen anyone who could talk so much or so fast a Theo. Even Dodger went quiet and stared at her like she was something.

Standing still and being fitted for a dress wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, especially when the woman squealed every time she got a look at Dodger from under my skirts. He was having fun and I giggled every single time. Theo finally asked me if she could put Dodger in her room just until the seamstress was gone.

I wasn't very happy about that and neither was Dodger, but I let her. Faster she was done, faster I could get down.

Theo huffed as she was called down the stairs for the third time in an hour and hurried down as I looked at the woman with a mouth full of pins. She kept looking at me like she was wondering what Theo and Thad saw in me. I didn't much like her.

Someone knocked again and I wondered if it was the flower girl back or the woman with the cakes. Maybe the man with the newspaper that Theo said was coming. Regardless of who, I felt frustrated at the intrusion as the seamstress let go of her tape measure to go answer the door. She peeked, then opened it fully, gesturing the person in and I had a moment of confusion as two guardsmen came in and grabbed me right off the stool, one of them putting a hand over my mouth though I had said nothing.