All Comments on 'Colleen Ch. 02'

ditto

A captivating story ,well written, some minor spelling mistakes, but beautifully well rounded characters that provide a very emotional read. Well done, and keep up the good work.

p.s. Thank you.

Loved the second chapter as much as the first. Can't wait for the third.

Most of these I read for the sex. After the first page or two, the sex became irrevelant.I enjoyed the story immensely. I,m looking forward to more.

Such a captivating story. I only have this to add to the comments of others. If you do what so many other authors do and go from perfection, to dragging doom, disaster and heartbreak into the story for the sake of making it 'dramatic' I shall hate you with a passion. You went to the very top of my favorite authors list with this story, so please don't blow it.

Thank you. The first chapter of this story has been one my favorites on Literotica. This new chapter is just as good as the first. I can't say enough good things about it. It made me feel just about every positive emotion you can think of. I can't wait for the next chapter. Again, thank you.

You have done an Excellent Job on this story to date, Please hurry the next part along so I can enjoy it as much as I did the first two chapters.

I can't wait for the next installment. You are a very talented writer.

If you could tie the first wife back in because a date rape drug was used or something else it could be very interesting.

I do not like stories that have more than 2 pages, but I could not stop reading until I had finished. Bravo, no Bravissimo.

Thank you.

I thoughly enjoyed the first installment. This is even better. I look forward to reading more.

just finished reading your story, it is without a doubt one of the best i've read, the sex sucks, but the wonderfull way it was written makes up for that, i actually had tears in my eye's a couple times it was that well written, ty...if you ever need a opinion, my e-mail is longhairandbeard@yahoo.com

Well written and in places, exciting and tender.

Please hurry along with the third part.

Forget the ex-wife.

Beautifully written, really excellent. Needed more gratuituous sex, but like other readers I did get caught up in the story.

My bet is that the ex-wife was "cheating", she was fucking the guy to save hubbys job.

The first part was superb,this part was superber.

The story was great and was good reading. Well written.

Agree with sleepyestbear,don't destroy them. Incest is the only section where you can spicy and edgy and still have love and romance. Way too many stories on this site are getting nasty, mean and down rite cruel. Keep the love that's what has everybody reading this.

That has become the most empathetic love story I've ever read. I was rather unmoved, at first, by the subject matter. But as I read further, the characters developed really well...believably, into real people. It became believable to me that two siblings could actually realize true love, not just lust, for each other. Very well done.

I have to agree with the others. You have a great story. Nicely written and the story flows along smoothly. I hope charter 3 is equally interesting.

An excellent job of work, I would suggest that the next episode has some trials and tribulations for them to (hopefully) overcome.

I enjoyed this story very much. I was very happy to see the way that the characters came together instead of just falling into bed.

I really liked this continuation of the story and can't wait to see part 3. A few other have speculated about the ex-wife, but I have a feeling that if it is to be addressed, it would be best to do that in a seperate story. I've imagined that it would be told as a series of flashbacks after she was tracked down by the child she gave up for adoption and she relates her reasons for doing what she did all those years ago.

-Maltor

the ideas and notions of love between two people are glaringly and of course humanely striking.... it's a perfect story of the rare happiness we behold.... the words 'long haul' bewitched... there are stories here devoid of a person's true longings... the emotion of being hooked to a person utterly and for life is absent almost in maximum stories... and u should get credit for not being like other great writers also... u didn't finish right after getting them together... u are showing us their ongoing lives which is i think very laborious for a writer to show... i hope we would catch them fighting and making up like a loving couple.... the daily conversations should be more detailed... their acts of love, physical or not, should be outlined in a more graphical and conversational manner..... u r already greater than others to me (except Bob Clark Jr. and VertigoJ) .... and i'm looking forward to be looking at you as the greatest.... again, among the emotional blurs and chaotic stories of no enticing value, urs stands proud to me, us, the like-minded.... HAT'S OFF!!!!!

Beautifully crafted and written story. You've done a fantastic job of writing it to encompass their new life and the family and the effects of their relationship. Sex was put in in the right places, and overall the story was what this was all about.

It's excellent to see a properly written story, rather than some ridiculous dull fuckfest between siblings. The story was what built the atmosphere and gave the sex great power. Keep up the good work mate, I eagerly await the next installment!

Now there's a word I don't use much anymore, especially when discussing erotica. As damn hot as it was it just all seemed to run together into one very neat package. You are telling a really nice story here. I am very anxious to read the next installment. Well done Tex...

this is one of the best stories i've read. please don't take to long with chap.3

this one of the most intimate stories ive read yet and i dont want it to end here and i think my fellow readers wud agree

As a writer I know the importance of feedback from a reader. Here's mine! I loved the first story....waited and waited to see if you would continue. You rewarded my patience with an exceptional story. Now I will attempt to be as patient waiting for the next chapter. Thank you for a well written love story.

As much as I enjoyed how the sister's been able to help heal the wounds of the guy, I still have a urge to see something very, very painful happen to the wife and the other guy who did that to him,,,

But, on the other hand, the chances of the other guy hooking up with that cheating woman was likely very small; she's now on her own, with a biracial kid to take care of, with no husband and father for it --- I'm sure, in real life, she must have regreted having done such a heinous thing to a man who stood by her, loved her deeply,,,,

'Tis why in real life, there's been some "inexplicable" murders and violence. "Oh, they seemed like such a lovely and loving couple"!! lol

Anyway, again, this story --- veering from that cheating wife angle, which was very painfully memorable --- is more than made up for it in many ways,,,, Thank you.

Absolutely first rate writing. The dialogue rings true and the interplay between Coleen, Bobby, and all the children has brought tears to my eyes. I am really looking forward to Part 3.

One other thing, please don't let Harold Peterson, as fine an individual as he appears to be, screw this up for them.

I just found the second installment of your story about Colleen and Robert. Needless to say (considering how I rated it), I found it to be as good as your original. I have been looking forward to reading it since I read your first part. Actually, I had missed it when it came out. But, I regularly (or perhaps not so regularly) do a search for "Colleen" and found your second part. The story line as well as your writing is excellent. But, I guess that I am just really a romantic at heart (a bit "different" since I am a guy) and could not find your story to be otherwise. I can not wait for your next part. I hope that you will be able to find time to write it sooner than later. Good luck in your effort.

This is the only story on this site that has actually made me cry. Good on you.

As in the rest of life, the least expected thing can jump up and bite you right in the ass. Referencing the upcoming disaster in his life was a fair warning about trials and tribulations and how we deal with them. Nail the ex, preferably at work, because she didn't suffer for shit. Just don't hurt the kids and the rest of the family.

WHY DO ALL GREAT STORIES STOP AND BREAK AT THE BEST PARTS?????

This is very well written but You should perhaps think about whether you have anything fresh to say before continuing.

this is a great story and well written i would suggest continueing since we all love it

Sure hope it's not to long before the next instalment. This is one of my favorites.

JH-1

i really loved your first two chapters. i found the writing excellent and the story romantic - not necessarily erotic, but i don't mean that in a critical or negative way. it was a reverent love story and i enjoyed it very much. i'm really looking forward to your final version. stacey

I just finished reading your second chapter. I mentioned in my first and ONLY other public submission submitted today that I've never publicly commented on anyone's work until reading Colleen. I was truly moved with passion as well as a well proportioned amount of erotica. You have an amazing talent and the ability to draw a reader emotionally into your stories and characterization. I know you only intend to write a 3rd chapter. If that's ultimately all you write about Colleen I will understand. I know this is a labor of love paid only by voters and the comments your receive. I will ask, however, that you consider posting more stories, whether they are in any way connected to Colleen or not. I know you will develop a huge following if you keep true to your current style of work. I could easily see your work being adapted into a screen play with perhaps some obvious adaptations to suit the viewing audience while still holding true to your basic premise. I would love to be included on any "list" that you might maintain of fans who want to be notified when you post a new submission, if such a "list" exists. If not, perhaps you might want to consider compiling one. I have no doubt many will appreciate being notified, myself included. Please take heart in knowing your work is inspiring, gratifying and loved. Thanks for your contribution to Literotica. You are definitely among my favorite authors, if not my favorite.

Patrick

Albuquerque, NM

Tex:

I've seen how hard it is for an author to write a 2nd chapter that has the same intensity of feeling as the original. You have suceeded beyond my expectation. What a brilliant love story. Thank You. Ronnie W.

I agree with another comment about this author that I saw elsewhere to the effect that the story has the right amount of buildup (literary foreplay??) without just diving into the usual cliches of oral, anal & all the rest.

Without wishing to detract from my appreciation for particularly the first story, I think the author will risk undoing much of the original charm of the story by stringing along too many episodes. Kind of dilutes the eroticism of the first time by going into too many domestic details and repetitions of the sexual act, which could not possibly be something new every time.

What about letting the characters rest for a while & coming up with a new story? You are of course far too good to stop writing now.

(I'm leaving my addy on a "Private feedback" form in case you want to swear at me)

Parlez

Nice story, but we also need to know of the fate of Barbara. Also her child and her lover?

Once again, you've write a great story.

Really looking forward to the final chapter.

Keep up the good work!!

It is so well written that I forget that I am on Literotica and not reading a book.

your story remains to be the best ive read... i am left speachless... all i can say in honesty is who cares about barbera ....

Glad to see that you masterfully held the bar set by the first installment. I eagerly await the third chapter.

I love this story.

Also, I most certainly DON'T want to know what happened to Barbara and her offspring.

I would hate this wonderful story to be ruined by making it seem like some daytime soap with some stupid drama or tradgedy occuring that would render this story trite like most other submissions on this site.

Keep it together, and show how peace and love could actually work well to develop a warm and touching story that will have your fans thinking about it for days after reading it.

Just like you've been doing so far.

Cheers,

Chucky.

Segment two's only a step below the first, the excellence continues. Segment 3 ??? John B.

As was stated in one of the earlier comments, once one starts reading this story, one forgets that it is about what is considered to be one of the baser sins...that of incest. This story, however, transcends the mere lust aspect and delves deeply in to idealic and unconditional love...the two people involved just happen to be siblings.

To say that I am in awe of your ability to write is an understatement. I felt all of the emotions evoked, from anger, to pain and hurt, to unconditional love and all areas between. That is a very rare accomplishment for me to be so effected.

You have written a beautiful story. Please do not keep us waiting too long for the next chapter.

I started reading part one and couldn't stop after I got thru the first half. Part II did not disappoint. I wait in anticipation for part III. You should think about getting this published.

Extremely well writen. Sensitive. Well thought out.

This is a terrific love story. I wonder how often this sort of thing happens. There are several things that I would like to see the author deal with. First, Colleen was the sort of person who had friends who knew her as a girl. Cindy has been mentioned. When do these people find out about Bobby and Colleen being married and how will they react? Second, when does one or more of the children say something at school about Uncle Bobby marrying his sister and how will that be dealt with? Three, are Bobby and Colleen really married in the eyes of the law? If Bobby lists Colleen as his dependent spouse on his group health insurance and she files a claim for some illness or having a baby, and the insurance company finds out she is his sister, are they guilty of insurance fraud?

Nookiehunter

This is a very, very nice story. Very well written and I would say a five star. You certainly do have a talent and I look forward to Chapter 03. Please hurry!

I just finished reading Colleen & Colleen 02 for the second time. I have read too many stories that focus solely on lust and sex and I so often do not finish them. I've only found one other story on Literotica that comes close to the quality writing of yours. And that is "The Tangled Web". Yours is by far my favorite and I cannot wait for the next installment. Your ability to address every emotion and interject emotions, humor, comments, concerns and conversations between people who truly love each other at just the right time is exceptional. As a result it makes this story a "real life" story. One that anyone who has ever been in love before can relate to. (I have no suggestions for chapter 03. I am a reader...not a writer) Thank you for a marvelous story!

Absolutely loves this! Great work, can't wait for the next.

Great story based on romance, love, respect and honesty. You animate in depht the human awareness by the feeling of a great kindness. We live of happiness and not of lust. The erotism take all her values on the fantasies who lead straight to the death throes of love.

write da third one quick,otherwise..................

There aint many erotic literature in the net that can match your originality. In fact none so far that can make tears swell in my eyes but yours did. Thank You. There is Hope And True Love after all. Keep writing.

Great two chapters. Cant wait till number three.

I'm holding my breath until the next one comes out.

I just finished reading parts 1 & 2 and I'm really looking forward to part 3! My only criticism is that there is no way any woman I know would be up to sex (oral or otherwise!) 24 hours after giving birth! Trust me, there is still LOTS of yucky stuff going on down there!! (nuff said!) I also found it unrealistic that Bobby had done absolutely no reading to prepare for his child's birth. You portray him as far too loving and involved a parent for that! That said, I was laughing out loud during the crying scene, so you're forgiven for taking some literary license! Keep up the great writing!

Romantic, gentle and positive (after Bobby got out of his mess with first wife.) All of the characters are good guys (with the exception of Barbara and the ex-boss) and everyone lives happily ever after! What's wrong with that? A fantasy, sure, but a nice fantasy. I think what makes it appealing is the unconditional love that is rooted in the sister-brother lifelong bond. Would love to see more stories from this author.

Awsome story. Just wondering if you were still thinking about a third chapter or not.

I love it, but where's part 3?!!!!

Absolutely wonderful. Hope you still plan on chapter 3!

Wow this is one of the best stories I ever read.

yay i NEED part 3 before i explode

One of the best stories I have ever read.

I just can't quit reading this story. The plot is amazing and definitely defeats all other stories I have read on this website. It's also very realistic and isn't just an unreasonable fantasy. I'm off to read ch. 3.

As I said on the 1st chapter, I am once more moved to tears by the plot, the characters and the love. The tuna fish line was no less than priceless. I will move immediately to chapter 3.

there are only going to be three parts to this story. Thanks for two really great reads. I've gotta go get started on the third now, so bye!

TEXAS REFUGEE!!!!!

Thanks for the amazing stories, hope to hear more from you soon!

Flanny315

Okay, not to say I didn't like it, but... You said somewhere that Colleen had never shaved her pubic hair, but then said that the nurses shaved it when she had Noelle. So wouldn't it have been shaved twice when she gave birth?

Oh wow! Another one among the "best" stories I read that rank very high on how such a taboo topic could be dished out in such a very, very convincing and moving way. More power and thank you!

Goddess only knows how much I love this and how much it made me laugh. Thank you.

As a picky author myself, I always enjoy finding someone who can build a story line (as you did so well) without a lot of distracting grammatical mistakes or spelling errors (someone did a fair job of editing in this case). Thank you so much for this story. I know you put a lot into it. Consider my deep enjoyment as part of your reward. I shall read the other segments soon.

I loved it up until I hit a huge Wall of Impossibility. First, let me say that I do think your characters are great. Your couple and their extended family are loving and well adjusted. Your writing style is easy and has a decent pace. I was all for this story until Bobby goes down on Colleen not 48 hours after Noelle is born. Nope. Women bleed for at least a couple of weeks after a birth. Was this a C section baby? Maybe there's not as much blood after a Cesarean delivery but there's still a bleeding. That's how the womb is cleansed of the amneotic fluids that nourished and cushioned the baby in the womb. Since it's no longer needed once the babe is born, it must be purged by the body or it will turn into a toxic mess and eventually kill the mother. It's like the heaviest days of menstruation and then some. While certainly fragrant, there's nothing pleasant or attractive about it, unless you have a blood fetish. Reading about her lovely pussy so shortly after giving birth hit my off button and I had to give this story a rest. Good luck to Bobby and Colleen.

As a published and professional author I found your narration to be first rate. Although a bit choppy at times, but a really good editor will fix that up. The delicate subject of incest is approached rather realistically, and I find the intimacy in the story more satisfying than the sex. The struggle for consent to the incestual relationship would have made an interesting side bar.Be careful not to lose our audience with unrealistic events--like going own on a post partum woman would NOT be appealing to anyone--o.k. maybe in this crowd some one but not many!!! And at some point you have to address the illlegal nature and vulnerability of their legal status--not unlike the proposition 8 crowd in california... Hats off to you for an entertaining peek at real intimacy in this vast sea of sexual lust and hedonism, it was an island of respite!

Good story

It's impossible to fathom it, but the second chapter of "Colleen" actually improves on the first one. I have to disagree with some of the comments that bemoaned a seeming lack of sex or too much detail into Bobby and Colleen's domestic life. For me, that was the point -- I became so engrossed in the characters that the sex becomes secondary. It takes a rare gift to elevate an erotic story to that level, but you pulled it off with flying colors.

i like this story.

i am dying to read the 3rd part.your narration of childrens in the story is very realistic. As if you are the real father & faced the situtatiuons yourself.

After I got past the incest, I found this story to be intriguing. It really is a loving story. You've captured my interest and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks for a great story.

This is my third time reading your stories and they get better with each reading.

I rated your first series excellent.But this blows that away.You are very talented.Don't stop writing !!!

Most amazing story! I keep coming back to time after time.

This is such a touching story. I have never l laughed, cried so much when reading a story as I have when reading this one. I'm on to read the next one. GRAT JOB!

I enjoyed this story so much that I had to stop and wipe a tear from my eyes so that I could see the page. It is beautiful.

Great story.

This is one of the most tender love stories that I have read in a very long time! I also really enjoy your touches of humour, and have sat here on my own, giggling my head off, while reading it. Well done!

Again well done!

Once again, you pull me in!!!

Enraptured is the only word I can use to describe my reading. A story that I have continued, and much like the first time I read Shogun, I will be saddened when I finish it. Though I can not help but read on. Sir, you have my gratidute for enlightening my day with your story.

EPIC READDING RAWR

When was the last time you graced us with one of your stories. Thank you for your artistry.

Well thought out and written - a few grammatical errors, that a context editor could help with - I suspect/ Nothing serious and certainly not enough to compromise the overall quality of the story -

Thanks again -

I'm all for incest and this story is so romantic I teared up. But I hope they stop having kids, as a product of incest they are at a disadvantage. Thank you for the wonderful story.

ur stories have been lyk stupendo-fantabulously-faaantaaastic!!!,,

i have to admit it ,,,sir, u are a legend,

Both chapters 1,2 are great, you have a knack for erotic writing.

Gonna read #3 next.

Thank you so much for this story I hope you find time to continue it.I laughed so much I had tears rollling down my face. This was the best story I have read on litertica for some time.