Congi Bar 04

Congi Bar 04

So, here's the deal, my Congi half-brother, Congi Len, had set up a pizza party for some of us Congi Boi's, with preassigned dates, but listen, as the youngest by five days Congi Boi, not to mention the hottest and the smallest Congi Boi, I have never had a problem with dating at all, but loyalty within the Congi Boi family is important, so, Ben, that guy, Ben, may have had a pizza party date.

But not without a pre interview first. Which, by the way, would not include Congi Len's weird ass folded long ways $10 bill measurement tool as an interview question! I don't need those types of gimmicks because if you haven't heard, not only am I the youngest, the hottest and the smallest Congi Boi, I'm also the second most playful behind Congi Dae.

[Mold melted into Ben's wheezing and heaving body on the couch, skin to skin style]

Well, Ben passed the initial interview questions, so, so, what? I'm Congi Bar, for Pete's sakes!

"Ahh, tell it to me again, Ben, tell me about how my half-brother, Congi Len, hit the sidewalk when David smacked him square in the middle of the forehead with his Ninja throwing star $10 bill paper origami duck, tee he and you know, say more words about me since, ahem, I am the hottest Congi Boi, so, go ahead, Ben, tell the story again in your own words, ahh [gulp, swallow], okay?"

"(Wheeze, huff, wheeze, puff) I need (huff), I need (puff), I need a minute (wheeze), Congi Bar!"

Guys, right? They always need a minute more to catch their breath when the hottest Congi Boi sucks his nuts out, one by one and then some on the couch half way through the interview process.

But on another note, guys who don't dare touch your Congi hair while loosing with his breath and both of his nuts to, you know, the hottest and youngest Congi Boi, right? They are the best guys!

"(Wheeze) wat, (wheeze), wat, (huff) what you doing now, Congi Bar (wheeze), huh?"

"Oh [fondle, fondle], I'm just checking out your (tee he), spent and limp man stick, Ben, that, you know, just got serviced hard and good by you know, the youngest, hottest, smallest and second most playful Congi Boi, tee he, and to see if it will pop back up because of fondling or not, tee he. Oh, is it sensitive now, Ben?"

"(Wheeze) watch it, (wheeze), easy, (wheeze) hey, (wheeze) ooh, (wheeze), don't squeeze it (wheeze)."

"Oh, okay, Ben, I get it, you're sensitive down here now, Ben, so, I'll back off, Ben and let you rest before you leave then. Besides, I made a side Congi bet with Congi Len that if you measured up to a folded long ways $10 bill, then you could and would be the first to have his absolute way with my Congi Boi boy butt with no fight back from me, but I get it, Ben, you're too worn out now since my cute Congi mouth was enough for..."

LOL, guys who are sensitive afterwards, right? They still manage to wheeze, huff and puff while digging through their pockets for a $10 bill measurement tool to get a piece of Congi Boi, boy ass!

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, thump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, you're breaking me, Ben!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, thump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"(Argh, ugh, argh) take this $10 bill measurement tool and take it smash face down, Congi Bar!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, thump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

Well, officially, as the youngest Congi Boi by five days, I took it like a Congi champ! Unofficially, SOB! Who in the hell invented Boi butt sex anyways?

"(Wheeze, huff, wheeze, puff) you're the (huff), you're the (puff), you're the best (wheeze), Congi Bar!"

Oh, well, I mean, it's been said before that I'm the best, the youngest, the cutest and the smallest Congi Boi, so, take that Congi family!

Um, so, in general terms of going the furthest ever, I mean, is redressing always a tad awkward then, hmm???? Or was it just that moment? And I peeked at the condom to make sure it was, um, still there, so, um, that's cool, right? I mean, I've done some stuff before, but that was most certainly the next level up, so, a little awkward stuff is normal, right?

But as I should have said, Ben was just my first pizza date interview, so.

[The Pizza Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"(A Congi head bow) half-brother, Congi Bar."

"(A Congi head bow back) half-sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia."

"(A polite head bow, back, back) it was foreseen in the Congi stars that Ben would dump you after a double sex boyfriend interview, Congi Bar."

"(A polite head bow, back, back, back) it was I, the youngest, hottest, smallest and second most playful Congi Boi who used Ben for a truly all the way experience, half-sister, Suzie, aka, Congi Sia Lia Mia."

"Ahh, you may add wise and sneaky to your Congi list of Congi Boi attributes then, Congi Bar."

[Weird monk like, yet quite calming chime sounds fill the air]

"So, who is delivering Congi Len's pizza for his Congi $10 bill measurement party, hmm, Suzie, I mean, Congi Sia Lia Mia, hmm? Zack?"

[Swoosh! That was not a very calming slick shoes slide! But hip bones can take a pretty good hit bump]

"You rang, Congi Bar, huh?"

"(Fuck!) Zack, did you grow? You're way too tall for me!"

I mean, I was talking to his chest! But I was wearing flats, so.

"Or maybe that little Timmy freak, hmm?"

[Oh, stumble, trip, fat feet stumble, the turf monster is winning, stumble, roll, bounce back up]

"(Aha, aha, aha) here, your stud boyfriend bull supreme is here, Congi Bar!"

Um, shut it, people! It's just fun to call out Timmy's name because he's always so awkward and energetic. But he always does land on his feet.

"Zack, your rep precedes you, so, forget it, but if you deliver the pizza's tomorrow, I mean, have a few extra $10 bills handy for Congi Len's crying tricks. I mean, there may or may not be a folded long ways $10 bill line up or something, so?"

"Oh, Congi Bar, I look forward to you holding the folded long ways $10 bill measurement tool while Congi Len takes his proof photos and don't be shy about leaning forward a little and holding it with your luscious lips for a minute, so?"

See, folks? LOL, his rep precedes him. But I've heard that Zack would more than pass the folded long ways $10 bill measurement test.

"Aha, aha, aha, my turn, Congi Bar, my turn, do me, Congi Bar, do me!"

Nope. I mean, as the youngest Congi Boi by five days, the hottest, the smallest and the second most playful, I mean, I can be much more selective that "do me, do me, do me now" and stuff, so.

Anyways, I finished my mission of determining that Zack was too tall to be my pizza party date and that Timmy was just still to "Timmy" to be a date of any kind, I bid my farewell so I could finish my own quest to find a suitable date.

"(A Congi head bow back) half-sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia, it's always a pleasure."

"(A Congi head bow) half-brother, Congi Bar, it's always a mind-blowing experience."

"(A Congi head bow back) half-sister, Congi Sia Lia Mia, shall I expect to see Jimmy J delivering the pizza's tomorrow night then, hmm?"

"(A polite head bow, back) Congi Bar, my dearest half Congi brother, are you fucking kidding me? There is no way in hell that I'm sending precious Jimmy J into a Congi house party where Congi Len is working the front door and measuring all the men with a folded long ways $10 bill as they enter and that's that! (Exhales deeply and politely bows head), Congi Bar, enjoy your evening."

See, folks? We're a totally dysfunctional Congi family, but we're very polite with each other. I mean, I'll hear about it later for wiping out her Pizza Shop cash drawer of $10 bills, but that problem is a few days down the road, right?

[A frantic exit from the Pizza Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

Oh, it was a frantic exit because, well, you know, Timmy was being Timmy and Timmy is happy to whack off on his date's shoes! With his tongue hanging out!

[A chest to chest into Jason because people are too distracted by their phones to watch where they are walking these days, even in a parking lot]

"Oh."

"Oops, my bad, oh, Congi Bar, um, hey there, so, um, I mean, I've heard that you're on the hunt for a valid pizza party date, so?"

"I mean, maybe I'm on the rebound from getting dumped, so, what, Jason? I mean, it was hot and it was a double back and I'm not at all ashamed, so?"

See, folks? As the youngest Congi Boi by five days, I haven't lived long enough to know better than to say something like that.

"Oh, no, no, there's no so what here, Congi Bar, I mean, it's not like I stopped by the Pizza Shop to side order some cheese fries and hope to get back a few $10 bills in change or something, so, um, Congi Bar, is it true that your skin tone is uniform from the tips of your toes to your forehead, huh?"

Is that a pickup line in these modern times? Sheesh. And kind of true for literally everybody.

"Jason, are you making a move on me right now? I mean, Congi Len has everybody but me paired up, but I'm sure if you show up with a couple of $10 bills in your hand, I mean, I'm sure that..."

[Mwah! Smooch, smack, smooch, smooch, smack, peck, peck, mwah!]

Well, I briefly passed out from all that lip smacking, but not before I made sure that Jason had the GPS info to Congi Len's place. And when I came around from being briefly passed out, I mean, well, Jason was gone, so, I guess I was still on the rebound, minus some lips tasting.

"(Beep, beep)"

"Hey, Congi Bar, are we going to beat around the bush or just get straight to it, huh?"

"Oh, Tyler, let's beat around the bush then and you can start, so?"

"(Smartass) alright, my vision is to have you and your small body crawl underneath while I bang that phat booty of Congi Len's and you kiss my balls as they flay back and forth, so?"

Oh, circling back above to where I said I've sexually experienced it all now, NOT. Apparently.

And don't even wait for me to circle back to how Congi Len ended up with the Congi booty! He has his own chapters, so.

"Tyler, ewe, that's not even right! Or legal! Or tootles for short, so, bye!"

"(Beep, beep)"

[Uh-huh, the rule is to never get into a running car with a guy. But it's cool to hooker lean into the window for a few moments as long as there are no questions about beating around the bush]

Well, the other rule is to surround yourself with people who say the right things, so.

[Slip slides into Chad's running sedan]

"I mean, you're two years too old for me, Chad and by the way, do not take the transmission out of Park. This is a talk, not a date, so?"

[Puts in the drive and slowly vrooms away and into traffic on the Strip]

"You're looking good, Congi Bar and I like younger 20 something trans women, so?"

"Oh, keep talking, Chad, but I'm insisting that you stop driving, so?"

"You're so hot, Congi Bar, that you sizzle."

Hmm, can I work "sizzles" into the youngest, the hottest, the smallest and the second most playful?

"And you're smaller enough to crawl across my seat and wet my lips, Congi Bar, so?"

"[Instinctively crawls and plants a few smooches and lip smacks] you're a knucklehead, Chad!"

"(Smacks that teeny tiny Congi booty...)"

Which is better than Congi Len's "all that" booty! Oh, sorry, ahem folks.

"So, am I your pizza party date tomorrow night, Congi Bar? Or am I going to be your pimp for a break out party, huh?"

You see, folks, no matter what traffic light you are stopped at on the Strip, the sedan door handle always works. But I still leap frogged back and lip smacked Chad good night since, you know, I'm nice as well as all of the other things that I am, which now includes sizzles. Or sizzling. Whatever.

"[Smooch, smack] don't forget $10 bills for Congi Len, Chad [peck, peck], bye (pimp)."

LOL, just kidding. I mean, I don't know if you've heard, but I'm the smallest, the hottest, the cutest and the youngest Congi Boi, who also sizzles, so, oh, so, tee eh, um, sorry, I guess you heard before then, so, um, tee he, spread it around then.

End Congi Bar 04