Crash Into Me

He went to his table and smiled at himself, then he looked up at the notes around his mirror and his smile faded. He took off his makeup and waited. He waited and waited, but no messages came for him.

After about thirty minutes, Cameron called out to Amber. "Hey, beautiful! God, you rocked the show tonight."

"Not me!" Amber said playfully. "It was your choreography that made us look good. But you stole the whole show, sweetheart. I'm so freaking proud of you." She hugged Cameron tightly. "You're amazing, Ryn, really."

"Thanks, doll. You too." He let a moment pass, then asked, "Is the attorney still out there?"

"No, honey. He left right after your set, like he always does. What did your note say tonight?" she said excitedly.

"Oh." Cameron tried not to let it show how badly his heart squeezed in his chest. "Um... No note tonight. But that's okay because I'll see him later."

"Oooooh," Amber squealed. "Have fun tonight!"

"Thanks, honey," Cameron said back.

He sat down at his table staring at himself for a long time, before he got the nerve to slide on a black miniskirt and a grey V-neck belly shirt with no bra, showing off his black onyx belly ring. He got into his car and drove over to Matt's apartment building.

~~~

Oh I watch you there through the window

And I stare at you...

you wear nothing but you wear it so well

Tied up and twisted

The way I'd like to be

For you, for me

come crash into me

baby

~~~

Cameron realized it was the first time he was going to Matt's place without him, so he actually had to ring the bell. He didn't even know if Matt went home after the set. He swallowed his fear, parked the car, and went into the building. He knew Matt's apartment was 503 so he pressed the intercom.

It took a moment for the door to buzz. Cameron took the elevator up to Matt's floor. His door was already open a crack, so he pushed it open all the way.

Matt was sitting on the couch with his feet on the ottoman and a glass of whisky neat in his hand, staring into the darkness of the night through the windows. Cameron came to the couch and gingerly sat next to him, then leaned back, put his feet on the ottoman and his hands in his lap.

He closed his eyes and waited.

It was a long wait.

Matt really didn't have any words. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the person he first saw dance was the same person that crashed his car into him.

The person who jumped into bed with him shyly was the same person who got on her knees and gave him a blow job in the backroom of a club.

The same person who bartended was the same person who spun on her tippy toes and floated across the stage.

The same person who he spent weeks talking to about his fantasy girl... was his fantasy girl.

Matt finished his drink. He rolled his neck around one way, then the other. "There is just so much that I don't understand," Matt finally spoke. "Starting with the obvious... Why didn't you tell me?"

Cameron tried to keep his breath even. "You were so obsessed with Ryn. You were falling in love with her. How could I compete with that?"

"You didn't have to compete at all," Matt said softly. "Unless everything you told me about her—" He cleared his throat. "About you. Everything you told me about you was a lie."

"All of it is true," Cameron said.

"Then who would you be competing against? Yourself?"

"For your heart. Yes," Cam whispered.

Matt finally looked at him. "There wouldn't have been any competition in my eyes. Because it's you. My obsession was with you."

"But it wasn't me," Cameron countered. "I mean, yes it is me. But you met Ryn first, that part of me. And that's the person you wanted."

"No," Matt argued back. "I met Cam first. I met you hours before I walked into that lounge."

"It's not the same, Matt." Cam opened his eyes and looked at him. "I was just a kid who stupidly damaged your car not paying attention to the road. It's not like you looked at me and saw the sun, moon, and stars. We didn't even think we would ever see each other again. But you saw Ryn. You said so yourself, she captivated you. I don't captivate you like she does."

"Cameron...." Matt tried to keep his frustration in check. "What the fuck are you talking about? You are Ryn. You captivate me. And you're also Cam, who gives me butterflies when I'm around you. You are Cam-Ryn. I see all the parts of you. And all the parts of you captivate me just as you are. Why don't you see that?"

Cameron's eyes pooled with tears as Matt spoke.

"Do you know how stupid I feel?" Matt said in a low voice. "In my head, I've been battling my feelings for two friends that are close to each other. Trying to figure out what to do if I fall completely for one and have to break the other's heart. I've kissed her. And I've kissed you. I've touched her. And I've touched you. And I didn't know... I feel like an idiot. Like a clueless, naïve, fucking idiot."

Cameron was trying really hard not to let his tears drop. "You're not an idiot. I've had a lot of practice keeping both sides of myself separate."

"But why, Cameron?" Matt pleaded. "Why did you feel like you had to do that with me?"

"Because..." Cameron tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat that wouldn't budge. "The only time Ryn has ever been accepted and loved is on the stage, and even that was scarce. Cam didn't want to lose you. But neither did Ryn. And I didn't want you to look at me like you're doing right now: hurt, angry, betrayed."

"I do feel betrayed," he said with a nod. "I feel like you got a kick out of fooling me. Pretending to be shy in my bed but bringing me to the back room and sucking my dick? What the fuck was that!?"

"I'm sorry!" Cameron cried. "I thought I could push the fantasy of Ryn out of your head if—"

"If you gave me what I wanted," Matt cut him off. "That's what you said to me the next day, that I got what I wanted. And what did I tell you, Cameron?"

That..." He sniffed. "That you wanted all of her. That you wanted her to trust you with her body, and with her heart. That you wanted her to be vulnerable so you could take care of her."

"And what have I been doing for the last week with you, Cameron?" Matt said in anger.

Tears fell out of his eyes. "Getting me to trust you with my body and with my heart. To be vulnerable with you. Taking care of me."

"Jesus, Cam!" Matt found himself yelling. He reached over and grabbed his chin with one hand.

"You could have just told me. You could have told me when I told you I was captivated by the dancer on Thursday nights. You could have told me when you brought me into that back room, before you got on your knees. You could have whispered it in the dark while we laid in bed together, or in the morning while we ate breakfast together. You could have put it on a napkin and left it at my table at the bar or on my kitchen island. You could have just fucking told me!"

Cameron began to cry. His shoulders shook and he wailed loudly. Matt relented and let his face go. "I'm sorry." He touched his arm gently.

But the damage was done. Cameron retreated out of his grasp to the end of the couch. He put his knees in his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs and sobbed loudly. Matt tried to reach for him, but Cameron swatted his hand away twice.

Matt didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to make Cameron understand: As confusing as it was, as angry as the whole situation made him, it also was giving him great joy that they were one in the same. He didn't have to hold back with either anymore. And all he needed was for Cam-Ryn not to hold back anymore too.

He stood up and went over to him, kneeling in front of the couch. "Can you do something for me, beautiful?"' Matt said softly, running his hands through Cameron's hair. Cameron nodded on his knees. "Can you dance for me?"

Cameron continued to sniff, then he nodded again.

"When you're ready. Show me who you are."

Matt stood up and moved the ottoman away, making room in front of the window, then sat down.

Cameron came off the couch and stood up. He took off his shoes and skirt, wearing the compression underwear he used when he danced. This one was a dark purple color and high waisted, that showed his hips and stopped right below his jeweled belly button.

Cameron took a deep breath, and it shuddered as he exhaled. Then took off his shirt, leaving his clothes a crumpled mess by the couch. After a few moments, he lifted his eyes.

They stared at each other. Matt's eyes traveled down Cameron's body, the back up to his eyes. Cameron waited, trying not to tremble that someone was looking at his body in the light.

Then Matt said, "Alexa, Play Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band."

The acoustic guitar began. Cameron closed his eyes, pictured Matthew Peter Doyle's face, and began to move. With tears still on his face, he danced for Matt, graceful and fluid, using up the whole living room space. It was similar to the first time, with so much passion and emotion.

Matt watched Cameron's body move, his rounded bottom, the curve of his thighs, the strength of his arms as they reached up and over and to the side, the power of his legs as he leaped in front of him. The way his large nipples hardened on his small breasts the whole time, especially when his long fingers caressed them absentmindedly.

And at the end, Cameron fell on his knees, sat back, lowered his head, and held his hand up.

~~~

Come crash into me, yeah

Crash into me

Crash into me

Crash into me

~~~

Cameron did not want to open his eyes. He sat there with his hand out and waited, sniffling, afraid. But then strong hand firmly wrapped around his own, and Cameron sighed. Matt lifted Cameron to his feet. He wrapped one arm around his waist and with the other he caressed Cameron's cheek, wiping away more tears.

He kissed Cameron's head, then lifted his chin and kissed his lips. "You are beautiful and talented and special in so many ways," he murmured against Cam's cheek. "You're also sweet, and funny, and so brave. And I love you, Cameron. All of you."

Cameron shuddered in Matt's arms. Then he reached up throwing his arms around Matt's neck and kissed him firmly. Matt kissed him back, their passion undeniable anymore. So Cameron pulled back first and gave Matt permission.

"I love you, too," he murmured. "I want you to touch me, Matthew. Everywhere. All night."

Matt did not hesitate. He lifted Cameron up and Cam locked his legs on Matt's hips. As he walked to the bedroom, Matt called out, "Alexa, play the last song on repeat."

"Playing Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band on repeat," the system said. The chords started up again.

Matt laid Cameron down on his stomach, sliding off his underwear. He started at the base of his scar from the middle of his back, kissing it all the way to Cameron's shoulder. Then he trailed his tongue from the nape of Cameron's neck, down his spine, and opened up his soft buttocks to lick him there.

He turned Cameron around and kissed him for a while. Then went further down and licked and sucked his soft breasts and large nipples, dragging his tongue across the abs then back to his breasts and neck. Cameron let out soft moans and whimpers.

Matt made his way down and put Cameron's small cock in his mouth. He flicked it back and forth with his tongue, reached into the nearest drawer and took out the lube. He prepared and fingered Cameron while licking his cock and balls, and Cameron squealed with delight. Eventually, Matt lifted Cam's legs so that they were wrapped around his waist and entered him.

He moved incredibly slowly at first, taking his time, giving Cameron all of him, then gradually picked up the pace. Cameron began to get louder, his tone higher, and arched his back a few times, hollering, "Yes, Daddy!" every time he climaxed, which seemed to come in waves.

Just watching Cameron come undone in his arms was enough to keep Matt hard and focused. Cameron wanted all night, and he would give him all night. He would edge, pause, pull out, add more lube, then enter Cameron again until Cameron arched his back and trembled in his arms. And Cameron seemed insatiable.

When Matt finally did cum, they rolled over with Cameron on his chest. They laid that way for a while, then Cameron started it again, moving down and putting his lips on Matt's cock, getting him hard again. He mounted Matt and Matt did nothing but hold onto Cameron's hips and squeeze his breasts as Cameron rode him steady for another hour, climaxing a few more times before cum squirted out of his little penis.

Matt came a second time and Cameron fell against Matt's chest. And they talked. They talked about family and growing up. Hopes and dreams. Their difference in age. If they could really make this work. They agreed that they could.

They talked honestly and openly about Cameron's hormone journey so far, his desire not to conform to one gender or another, but to be both or none or a combination of whatever he felt like at the time. He had no intention of getting bottom surgery, wanting his genitals, but also wanting his breasts to grow. Accepting his non-binary status was the best thing he ever did for himself.

And Matt listened, and encouraged, and reassured him that he would be there through it all.

They talked about Matt always feeling biromantic his whole life, attracted to men but not sure if it was a sexual attraction until the law clerk came onto him. He talked about the last couple of years of exploration and feeling happier about finally owning his truth. And Cameron listened, reassured him that it was normal, and promised to always be by his side.

When Matt questioned his sexual appetite, Cameron explained that because of the hormones, he didn't get completely hard and ejaculate from his penis as often anymore. But he still felt incredible pleasure from his prostate, and his breasts were extremely sensitive, so his orgasms were never ending if he wanted it to be.

Matt wanted to test his theory. He put Cameron on his stomach and entered him again while pinching his nipples so he could make Cameron climax a few more times. And Cameron did, screaming "Daddy!" sweating, crying, shaking in his arms. Cameron fell asleep, exhausted after Matt finally came a third time and the sun had begun to rise, hand still clenching the sheets below him.

Matt laid half his body over Cam in a protective manner. He kissed the faint scar on his back before he fell asleep too, holding onto Cam-Ryn's hand.

~~~

I'm the king of the castle

And you're the dirty rascal

Crash into me

Just crash away baby

Yes I see the wave when you come

Crash into me

~~~

Three years later....

Matt and Ryn were dancing close, her head on his shoulder as a Michael Bublé song played, when he felt a bump against his back. He turned around and saw that Shiree, who was dancing with her current partner, had accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh, so sorry— Matthew!" she exclaimed.

Matt had not seen her in years, since they officially divorced, and only caught a glimpse of her throughout the wedding ceremony. She reached for a hug and he hugged her back.

"It's so good to see you, Matthew. You look good."

"Thank you, Shiree. You do too." He shook hands with her partner, Paul, and took his own partner's hand. "And this is my wife, Camryn."

Camryn stood up straighter in her high heels, straightened out her flower printed babydoll dress with the spaghetti straps that showed her cleavage, and held out her hand.

"It's nice to meet you, officially," she said in a soft voice. Her wavy blond hair had grown long and at her shoulders, framing her face.

"So nice to meet you, Camryn," she said, shaking her hand back. "Yes, I heard you got married a year ago. The kids said the wedding was beautiful. And you dedicated a dance to him that was incredibly moving."

Camryn smiled at her husband and touched his arm. "Thank you. It was a beautiful and special moment for us both."

Shiree smiled at them, then became thoughtful. "You look so familiar, Camryn. Did we ever meet before?"

Camryn smiled. "I don't know. Maybe we crashed into each other at a grocery store or something."

"Yeah... maybe." She gave Camryn one last curious look and turned to her ex-husband. "So what do you do now? I heard you left the law."

"Corporate law, yes. But I've been doing entertainment law with a few clients and managing my wife's affairs. Camryn started her own dance company right before we got married and tours with a group of four other individuals. They have already done 19 shows in 12 countries. We just got back from doing a show in Holland last week. And they are starting a series of shows here in Burbank tomorrow night."

"How fascinating," Shiree said. "All that time I had been trying to get you to travel, and now look at you." She looked at Ryn. "I have to admit, I was worried when I heard that Matt was in a relationship with a little girl around the same age as our children. But it sounds like you've been such a wonderful influence on him. You've breathed new life into this old man."

Camryn knew that it was a not-so-subtle dig at her age. "Well, Daddy Matt sure knows how to take care of this little girl, if you know what I mean." She touched his chest and lifted her leg to slide it against his seductively.

Matt blushed and shook his head at his naughty minx as Shiree eyes went wide. "Okay then." She patted Matt's arm. "It's good to see you, Matthew. And nice to meet you finally, Camryn."

"I hope you come see the show tomorrow night with Ingrid," she offered. "I think you'll find it... fascinating."

Shiree smiled politely and turned back to her boyfriend. They danced away.

"You just had to start a little trouble, didn't you, Mrs. Doyle?" Matt said, rubbing his nose against her and kissing her lips, making Camryn giggle.

They continued to enjoy the reception of Ashton and his longtime girlfriend, now wife. Ingrid sat at the table with them for a while, exchanging makeup tips with Ryn and taking selfies, before disappearing with her friends.

Both of Matt's children knew of their stepmother's non-binary status, seeing her without her makeup or in feminine clothing, but never brought it up in public. They simply embraced her because she made their father smile a lot, something they rarely saw him do with their own mother while growing up.

Matt fed Camryn wedding cake piece by piece, kissing her ruby red lips in between. And after the bride and groom left for the honeymoon in Hawaii, Matt quietly pulled Camryn's arm to take her upstairs to their penthouse suite.

"I've been waiting patiently to fuck you all night in that cute little dress you're wearing," he said huskily.

Camryn kicked off her heels as soon as they entered. "You have to catch me in it first."

She ran around the room and Matt playfully chased her. He caught her right against the balcony doors and kissed her hard there. Then he got the idea. "C'mon." Matt pulled her outside.

"Oh no," she feigned resistance.

"Oh yeeeesss...." Matt said, grabbing the lube on his way through the terrace doors. He sang, "Hike up your skirt a little more, and show your world to me..."

Camryn giggled, but she did it, flipping up her dress to reveal silk and lacy panties, soft pink in color.

Matt placed both her hands on the railing and told her not to move. He got on his knees, pulled them down, nibbled each cheek, and rubbed her cock. It had shrunk in size, she barely had to tuck it anymore, but he liked the feel of it in his hand, and the way she moaned when he played with it and ate her ass out at the same time.