Cream & Coco Ch. 03

All characters are at least 18 years old.

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"Well look at you," Jazz had said this morning, "all gussied up for the boss man!"

Since we were going on the date straight from work, I'd had to come to the office dressed for the evening. A more calm and collected woman would've thought to bring the change of clothes and makeup kit to work in a bag, but not I. No, I'd earned the ireful gaze and silent treatment of my son this morning. I didn't know what to say to him, so I'd just left some money on the counter and told him to order delivery for dinner.

I was watching the clock strike out the minutes to five o'clock. Alright, moment of truth. Ever punctual, Leon stepped out of his office and stopped next to my cubicle. He gave a modest once-over of my cream dress and smiled.

"Ready to go, Colette?"

"Ahem. Yes, of course." I stood awkwardly, as if I'd never been in heels before. They weren't the most comfortable things to walk in, but they were being especially diabolical today. What had Drew called it? Murphy's law? Everything about tonight was going to go horribly. Couldn't be disappointed if your expectations were rock bottom, was my reasoning.

"Did you take a cab to work today?" he asked as we waited for the elevator. I nodded, and he smiled approvingly. "Being neighbors makes dropping you off home extremely straightforward."

I laughed, and we made our way down to the car park. Now out of official business space, he offered his arm and I took it, nerves taut. He opened the door to his car for me and I had a moment to collect myself as he walked around to his side.

"Where are we going?" I asked as casually as I could once he'd seated himself.

"There's this nice French restaurant I like," he chuckled. "Plenty quiet, so we can talk. Get to know each other, if that's what you want." He began driving, and I was afraid we were about to descend into an awkward silence when he spoke up. "So, doing anything for Christmas? Going out of town, perhaps?"

"My son Drew and I would usually go visit my parents in the next town over," I replied. "Normally during the year, we'd spend the weekend there, but we're doing the whole week between Christmas and New Year's."

He grunted knowingly. "I remember you always saving your days off for the end of the year. I also remember Jazz whining up a storm for having to cover for you," he added with a laugh.

"She should remember who covers for her on Valentine's, St. Patty's, and Oktoberfest," I muttered, smirking.

The conversation was light, resuming smoothly after we arrived at the restaurant and were seated. Leon was right; the restaurant, despite having quite a few patrons, was quiet with a soothing atmosphere.

"Please excuse the candlelight," Leon chuckled. "I know the ambiance doesn't fit a casual meal like we agreed upon, but there was no better place to have an earnest conversation."

I nodded in understanding and we placed our food orders. It was after the appetizers that Leon pulled out the big guns.

"So, I hope you'll forgive me for having never asked this. It just seemed like the workplace wasn't the right setting to get so personal," he explained. "Is Drew's father really not in the picture?"

Asking the real questions, I see.

"No, he... he walked out when he found out I was carrying," I said gently. Leon looked taken aback, almost visibly reversing course.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No, it's fine." I paused, my mind reeling me through all the memories again. I chuckled bitterly. "I was the same age as Drew is now, actually. Andras was my first ever boyfriend, and I was a stupid little girl who thought she was in love. He pressured me into doing it unprotected our first time. Our only time, as a matter of fact. He was so callous that I didn't let him touch me for over a month. Then the morning sickness started.

"As soon as I told him, he told me to get an abortion. I was so blind that before that, I actually thought we'd become a family, you know? But I couldn't give my baby up. And part of me believed that if I did, when the time came when I'd eventually want kids again, I wouldn't be able to conceive, or I'd miscarry every time. The universe's way of punishing me."

"If you don't mind me saying, this Andras character sounds like a dirtbag," Leon noted with a slight scowl. I chuckled, and he indicated for me to continue.

"Those first few years were tough. Teen mom, y'know? I had to work so hard to set up a future where I could support myself and Drew. I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't turn their backs on me for getting knocked up in high school. On the contrary," I said, beaming, "they helped look after baby Drew while I got on my feet. Part time jobs, night classes at the local college, and the only thing that got me through it all was seeing my son at the end of the day.

"Moved out here so the people who knew me wouldn't look at me like I was..." I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "...easy. And now here I am. Drew is my whole world, in the best way." I realized the waiters had set our food down without me realizing it, and I had been staring at my untouched dinner the whole time. My eyes shot up to Leon and I laughed nervously. "Sorry. What a start to a date, huh? You didn't want to hear all that."

"I did," he said quietly, eyes full of sympathy. "All these years of us working together, being neighbors, now I know. Thank you for telling me."

I chuckled and began cutting into my filet. "I don't think I've even told Jazz the whole story." I couldn't believe I'd done something as embarrassing as telling him *everything*! If I'd been more rational, I'd never have said a thing in fear of what he'd think of me. But Jazz was right, he was mature and understanding. Before I could stop myself, the words were out of my mouth, "So what about you?"

"Me?" His eyes were downcast, and I bit my tongue. Way to go, Coco.

"I didn't mean... We should talk about something else," I said quickly.

"No, no. It's only fair." He leaned back and took a sip of water, arranging his thoughts. "As you know, I'm a widower. Never understood the word, sounds like it means something else." He smiled humorlessly. "Honestly, there's not much to tell. My wife Rose died in childbirth. Now it's just me and Cherish. I haven't seen another woman since."

I gulped. I wonder what it meant that he was here with me. "Neither have I."

He grinned. "You've not been with another woman either?" he joked, and I laughed. Even with as heavy a topic as ours, he managed to inject some levity into it. I shook my head and he nodded dismissively, understanding my meaning. "But I suppose in many respects, we are very much alike. Preoccupied with raising our children. Ensuring their happiness is our paramount duty, wouldn't you agree?"

I hesitated in thought, and he waited for me to answer. When he realized I wasn't pausing because I was spacing out, he set his utensils down. He looked... mystified that Drew's happiness wasn't at the top of my priority list. I wondered if he thought I was some kind of monster.

"I'm not saying their happiness isn't important," I began, and he scrutinized me quizzically. "Maybe it comes... third?"

"*Third*?" He broke eye contact to compose himself. "Sorry, didn't mean to sound judgmental there or anything. But then what are the first two?"

"I'm not telling you how to raise your daughter," I continued with the disclaimer. "But since you asked my opinion on the subject, here it is. Our first duty as parents is to protect them. From danger. From the world. From themselves."

Leon's expression became contemplative. "And the second?"

"Is to protect the world from *them*. It used to be a given, but you've seen kids these days. This new age of parenting has created a generation of selfish and entitled *brats*, and my son will not be party to that. Little monsters, almost psychopathic in their disregard for others."

"The self-esteem movement? The don't-tell-them-no approach?" he supplied, and I nodded. "I admit, it is quite the problem, especially here. Spoiling a child goes beyond spending on them lavishly. Permissive parenting is... disastrous."

"Only after that comes their happiness," I finished. "I'd rather put him through a few moments of misery, let him hate me, even. As long as he's safe."

We both went quiet, finishing our meals in silence as we thought about the conversation. Not the most romantic of affairs, but--

"You've given me a lot to think about," Leon murmured with a smirk. "I knew you were a smart and capable woman, Colette. But I hope you take no offense when I say that I didn't expect you to be so wise as well." He raised his glass of water in a toast, and I clinked mine against his. "To being better parents."

"To being better parents," I echoed.

He drove me home, walking me to my doorstep. "I know you may not think it, but I actually really enjoyed tonight."

"It's nice to find somebody who understands," I agreed.

"That being said, I don't think anything intimate is going to come of this," he said carefully, gauging my reaction. I nodded, looking him straight in the eyes. It seemed we were in accord, thankfully. "It appears we are both too dedicated to our children to make time for anybody else. And to be perfectly honest, I'm still not over losing Rose. It wouldn't be fair to you if I dragged you through something ugly."

"Of course. And I'm sure you're aware that Jazz put me up to this."

He chuckled. "Hopefully this gets her off your back for the time being." He took my hand and raised it to his lips, giving it a little peck. "Goodnight, Colette."

"Goodnight, Leon."

We shared a smile before he walked back to his car. I sighed, glad that there were no hard feelings and that everything was mutual. I'd found an unexpected confidant in him too, and wondered if we would ever seek each other's counsel from time to time. I already traded some parenting notes with Stefan and Sabrina's mother Helen, who was recently divorced.

I unlocked the door and went inside, finding Drew sitting on the couch, empty-handed and leg bouncing restlessly. Idly waiting for my return. When he saw me he stood, body tense.

"Mom."

"Hey, baby. Have you eaten yet?"

He ignored my question. "How'd it go?"

I sighed, placing my purse on the coffee table and joining him on the couch. "We both concluded that it wouldn't work out," I said.

He grunted in acknowledgement. I looked at him and frowned. He was gazing at me with distant eyes, eyes full of something I couldn't interpret. He leaned toward me. "Are you going on any other dates?"

I chuckled. "No, even this was set up by Jazz from work. Maybe I can finally get her off my case." Even as I spoke, he leaned in further. Thinking he was coming in for a hug, I held my arms out to embrace him. He cupped my cheek, and I realized something was wrong. Too late. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me tenderly, and it took me a shocked second to pull back.

"Drew, what are you doing?"

"Don't go anywhere, mom," he croaked. "Please don't leave me."

"Of course not, baby, I'll always be here--"

He kissed me again, climbing on top of me. Before I knew it, he had me pinned to the couch, straddling me. His kisses worked their way down my neck to my collarbone.

"Drew, stop it. What are you doing?"

"Mom..." he growled, his breathing getting heavier. "Mom..."

He moved, clasping my wrists in one hand, the other beginning to tug my dress down. He hadn't even finished exposing my breasts before he moved down to pull the hem up from my legs.

"Drew, you have to stop. We can't do something like this."

With my panties now visible, he began undoing his pants with one hand. His gaze was feral, his breath hungry. His pants were unbuttoned and unzipped, and he was pushing the waistband of his underwear down.

"Drew, stop!"

As if with the flick of a switch, clarity returned to his eyes. I lay in front of him, arms restrained and body almost exposed. His breath caught in his throat, becoming quivering and stuttered. He climbed off me and stood, eyes unblinking in horror. I sat up and pulled my dress back into place.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, hands beginning to tremble.

"It's alright, baby. Just calm down."

Tears beaded his eyes as his mouth moved wordlessly. "I'm sorry," he managed again. "I... I almost..."

"But you didn't," I reassured him. "Let's just talk about this. I'm not hurt. It's okay."

"No... No, it's not." He was shaking his head emphatically, tears falling. He swallowed hard and took a few gasping breaths. I reached toward him and he flinched, not meeting my gaze. "I'm sorry," he said once more, then fled out the front door.

I chased after him, shouting, "Drew, wait!" But he had already taken off down the street, his long legs carrying him faster than I could ever hope to catch. I was about to get in my car to go after him when I realized it wouldn't do any good. He'd refuse to get in the car, and I risked pushing him further into a state of flight. I sighed in resignation. He needed time to be alone.

I went back inside and sat down on the couch, ironically switching roles with Drew from earlier. And I thought about the encounter. As strange as it was, at no point did I feel in danger. Was I in shock? No, I decided, it was because I knew my son. Drew would never have hurt me. Call it mother's intuition, call it deluded faith, whatever you want. I would later look back on this moment, and still feel the same way. It wasn't because of shock. I don't care how much he was changing in the recent months. Deep down, he was still the same boy I'd raised.

I waited an hour before I started making phone calls. The first was to Stefan.

"Hello?"

"Stefan, hi. It's Coco Hammond."

"Hey, Ms. H. How can I help you?"

"Have you heard from Drew? He left his phone at home, and he hasn't come back yet."

"Sorry, I haven't. Is something wrong?" His voice was full of concern now, but I didn't have time to explain everything.

"Just please call me back if you see or hear from him." He promised he would and I hung up. I began systematically calling every hospital in town. Nobody in the wards, nobody in the morgue. It was both comforting and nerve-racking. He hadn't even been wearing shoes.

I'd called every single one of his basketball teammates, and was about to dial the police when Stefan called back.

Skipping the niceties, I demanded, "Did you find anything?"

"Yeah." He paused, and I was so strung up that I almost reached through the phone to strangle him. "He's fine. He's safe. He's with a friend."

"What friend?" I almost yelled.

"A mutual friend. Lexi Rochester." A girl? Why had I never heard of her?

"I swear to God, boy, if you don't tell me where he is, I'm going to have words with your mother." I couldn't keep the wrath out of my voice. My whole body was quaking in panic. Were they keeping Drew from me? "Where is my son, Stefan?!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. H. I can't help you." I heard a girl's voice in the background, and Stefan paused to listen to her. Was that Sabrina? Lexi? "He needs some time alone. By the sounds of it, you need some time too."

Then the little bastard hung up on me.

I held the phone to my ear for a few seconds longer out of disbelief, then tossed it aside onto the couch. "*Fuck*!" I shrieked. I almost never cussed, but I think the situation warranted it. I clutched my head, hands still shaking, as tears blurred my vision.

*Our first duty as parents is to protect them. From danger. From the world. From themselves.*

I didn't even know where he was. There were so many things I needed to tell him. That I loved him. That I forgave him, if there was even anything to forgive. I'd seen the look in his eyes. Was he thinking the worst of himself?

After a few minutes, I managed to get my breathing under control. Stefan was right, I needed some time. I was having a meltdown. I made myself a cup of tea and almost burned my throat as I gulped it down.

I was too worn out for anything else. Not to shower. Not to brush my teeth. Not even to change my clothes. I went to sleep in my dress. God, that dinner seemed like a lifetime ago. With how exhausted I was, sleep came swiftly like a blessing. I dreamed that I was right where I was in the real world, except my son's arms were around me.

Safe.