All Comments on 'Cuckolding of our Friends Pt. 01'

The inclusion of the character's dialogue into the regular paragraphs, rather than being separated out with speech marks, makes this a little distracting to read, IMO.

An editor/proofreader would make this a much better reading experience. Quotes around dialog segments, changing paragraphs for new speakers, correct spellings and word choices, etc. would really help.

Point taken I have approached an editor. thx

Sorry, I stopped reading after a few paragraphs. I like the premise but you need an editor and need to learn how to punctuate and use "speech marks". As it stands reading this is too much hard work.

Good start keep up the good work

Based on the title and the first episode, this has a lot of potential. I agree that some editing to break out the dialog will improve its readability. Not a problem with this short chapter, problematic to look at 20 chapters ahead after reading through this one.

Nice first effort!

How to turn your friends into enemies, written by an illiterate that couldn't pass second grade English.

I repair X-ray equipment for a living. I'm dyslexic and despite that I still managed to attain a 1st class degree in electrical and mechanical engineering. I've almost certanly contributed to saving many lives, What is your claim to fame? Being able to punctuate a sentence correctly, you santimonious git! Horses for courses. Have a nice day.

i agree with the other comments. I really like the idea, but it is difficult to read with no quotation marks and basic grammar corrections. I had to stop reading after three paragraphs.

I've already approached an editor as I said 3 days ago.

I enjoyed the story. The punctuation/grammar thing is an issue, not because rules have to be followed, but because they make the story readable and easier to understand. A pity some people have to get plain rude with their comments, but just ignore them - responding in kind is a bad idea. If dyslexia is a problem, then I hope you find an editor you can work with. There are some things you can do yourself however. For example, there is a useful rule that you shouldn’t have two people speaking in the same paragraph. One thing the lack of punctuation does do is to increase the pace of the story - made this more intense. Thanks

Thanks for the polite feedback. Comments taken on board. I have an editor now. Who is trying to make part 2 readable. And good luck to them with that. Lol.

This sounda like it was written by a 10 year- old. And somebody needs to explain to toy what quotation marks are.

Great Start!

I gave it 5 Star because of the storyline, irrespective of the grammatical errors.