All Comments on 'Cutty Ch. 18'

That she simply wants to, or needs to, lose herself and abandon her family to be happy. Ok then simply have her suffocate the girls and pray her husband’s plane crashes. Boom all done. She can be happy now.

Okay honest criticism here...Why four pages if you are not honestly trying to create a reasonable storyline anymore? The basics...Why not try to use spell check or maybe try grammar check?

Example of what I mean...In your second paragraph you throw your readers right off the rails when you write sentences like this...”The fact that Robert would come made her think about her situation”...what does that mean??? Sounds like you meant it to be introspective and important to your heroine’s mindset. But as written its completely nonsensical and adds no context for the user. It interrupts the reader focus and we lose the context of the moment you were building.

Also this is just a story so if it fits within reasonable bounds that if you present a good backstory, we as readers (who chose to read this story of our own free adult will) should buy in to the premise you present. Hell comic books make people believe getting bit by a radioactive spider could be a good thing. But how, in your story world, which is supposed to be our real world, are we supposed to believe that sound only travels one way (and no they can’t build in sound retrification and sonic circulation into a room like that)?

Then you hit us with bullshit things like Ninon telling your heroine she can still “...have [a] loving life with your family”. When not a few paragraphs after this your heroine is quite content and happy that her daughters are becoming underage drunks night after night. Or how about a demand that two over forty people who have been married for nearly 20 years must successfully complete 25 fully orgasmic fucks in a weekend. That’s 8 times a day for 3 days and still coming up short. Not happening even if they were medically enhanced teenage fuck toys. Simple research shows going beyond 5-7 sessions in a single day is not “fun” and is NOT repeatable or sustainable over time. Last time the husband came home he wanted to just spend time with his family. He is going to want to do that again. No way he gets to spend time with his daughters if he’s banging out the wife 25 times in a weekend. But who cares if you are just going to send them off to get drunk again on sat and sun too.

So, can you see how poor grammar, spelling, sentence structure, incomplete thoughts and missing words impact a readers ability to consume your hard worked content? Then when you add in those impossible physics, improbable biological demands, and unreasonable personality traits - all results in...nothing...no reasonable story...just incoherent babble. And that’s a shame. Because I believe you were hoping for something better, but hoping is not the same as actually trying to become better.

So again I ask why did you write all this if you didn't intend for it to at least be a story worth reading?

Also, like her, wondering how it ends. Her neighbour ended up in a strip joint. My guess is hubby rejects her so she is forced to prostitute herself for Mrs B.

One point...daughters name kept changing when she came home drunk.

So, a rich, self-entitled, self made, and apparently bored lesbian picks on people in her community to provide them (and her) with “new experiences”....

I get that the thrust of your story is about changing the heroine’s attitude, but it seems that have based your antagonist as a female J Epstein (plus enabling staff), and you have loose ends like the kids, marriage, husband etc. that are somewhat superfluous to your story and are going to wind up being collateral damage....

At what point in time does Donna figure out that she is going to lose it all one way or the other.... and then what? Three options; divorce and become a stripper, suicide herself, or do something unpleasant to Ms. Brendan. Although if her husband was the one who provided the pictures, then it’s simply divorce.

So, you have driven Donna to the puppet that she has become... and you are turning their kids into drunks.... where are you going?

Thanks for writing. I wouldn't worry about any negative comments. If you are still following the story with ch18, safe to say you found something about it enjoyable.

My only comment is not many are calling her Cutty lately. I think the constant reminder of being unceremoniously renamed to such a graphic reminder of her place is something that should be featured.

Eagerly looking forward to future chapters.

She must follow orders. Not to would be much much worse for the family. They'd be homeless and hounded and unable to find work anywhere, or worse, if she slips up. She has to become what her Mistress wants. If she loses hubby and kids, maybe that would be better for them than for Donna to piss of Mistress again.

Would be nice to hear the backstory of Ninon. Donna should at least look for her in the gallery of pictures that the Mistress has.

Really? How is Donna going to make her husband cum 25 times this weekend. Unless he has some kind of viagra drug with him, he is not going to cum 25 times over the weekend. Heck we still do not know how long he is even going to be home. Knowing Ms. Brendan, she could make him go back on Sunday and then beat the heck out of Donna for now accomplishing her goal. Plus after getting her breasts beaten on Thursday evening by Ninon, how is Donna going to explain that to Robert. Given that, how did the spa folks miss all of the whip marks on Donna's breasts. They sure would not have gone away in only a day, not the way they were abused. Don't know where or how Donna is going to come out of this story in any good form. I hope that the story does reach a conclusion instead of just ending on the bdsmlibrary website. Love the debachery and how Donna is getting brainwashed by Ninon (she is good at her job and I would like to find out just what Ms. Brendan has on her too).

This story is really going down hill fast. Impossible I would think to get one man to fuck you 25 times in three days. That's eight times a day plus extra 1 time thrown in somewhere. Hell, most men after the first time are through for the day/night let alone ready for 7 more times. Very difficult to get where you are going unless it's to destroy Donna's marriage, take over Donna permanently and maybe even bring Donna's daughters into this situation. Started good but ? However, I must keep going to see where this story is headed, if anywhere?