All Comments on 'Daddy's Girl Ch. 01'

by Zajoniad

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  • 2 Comments
winterplayingwinterplaying4 months ago

Holy Shit---this was hot!

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Initial suggestion is to co-ordination the verbs and maintain constant tense in each sentence AND paragraph.

You have established a well grounded base upon which to build out your tale.

Due to the business operated by your father - figure, it might be best were he to mention, over poker, that Chad is in line for a tune-up.

Anonymous
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