All Comments on 'Daisy Pt. 01'

Great story. But what happened next? What did Sasha do at the party? What became of him and Masha? (The story may be loosely based on real events, but to me it's fiction.) Awesome work.

I did notice a few of the grammar mistakes. The biggest one for me was that 'Sasha took of his panties.'

Guys refer to their undergarment bottoms as either shorts, boxers or briefs (usually shorts.)

Girls' undergarment bottoms are panties. (unless it's something more exotic, like a thong)

Your english is good enough (I'm a non native speaker by myself). And I like of course the setting, this "daisy" thingy was absolutely new to me. I also liked that you tried to transport a bit of russian culture, e.g. the nickname calling.

So yes, the story was quite hot.

Nice idea, well executed. Yes your English reads like it was written as a second language - no surprise, it was! We see many native English speakers on Lit who are much more difficult to read than yourself, and that is the test: does the reader have to stop every sentence to work out the meaning? In your case, no, it was readable, but with a strong ‘accent’. Try to find an editor to help you improve, but keep writing. Thanks.

if you are wondering if people would like to read part 2: we are waiting with eagerness. As others have said, your English is more than good enough. I would not even ask a native English-speaker for help as your "accent" adds to authenticity and a feeling of location. This is easily the most erotic thing I have read or heard in quite a while.

Ya no Dostoyevsky, maybe a women and child murder like yo disgusting tavarash in the ukraina. Fockin russkys.

Well written, unexpected and fascinating. Might give it a try sometime. I had no idea there was such a thing in the USSR.

Russian teenagers are way ahead of American teenagers when it comes to putting on a party.

Fun to read.

A fun story, interesting and imaginative. Sometimes I envied the Soviet youth.

Interesting game. Only it could have been played before AIDS.

Cool game. It's a shame it wasn't played in our time. At most I remember it was a game of spin the bottle. Also fun, but not like that.

I enjoyed the game, as did the story. It was interesting to read. It's a shame you can't play one now because of AIDS. And I wonder how long such a game lasted in the USSR? Or maybe in Russia? All in all, a well-deserved five stars.

It's pretty cool. I didn't even know it can be done. But I can't believe that win is possible , women simply will not give with this approach. But it is possible to dream. Five points!

Cool! Thrilling game, unfortunately not applicable today because of AIDS. Even before, it was a little weird to play due to STDs. Otherwise I would have tried it to play.