All Comments on 'Dark Promise'

A lot of originalities are here from characters to settings. I love the way this story is narrated. It’s very original and to some extend I do wonder, are you really a vampire--LoL Sorry, it’s just your story sounds very real to me. Keep writing; don’t give up and I’m definitely looking forward to read more of your stories.

I like the shape of the story and the viewpoint of the storyteller. Your writing could do with some tightening. Try going through this work again and removing each "that" and pluperfect tense (I had done something) to make the writing more immediate. You let slip a couple of present tenses in the middle of the story whereas most of your writing is in the past. On a pedantic note, isn't smoking banned in most public places now in the US or are you setting the story in the 1980s?

*Made up word combining 'Fantastic' and 'Fabulous'. And then some. I especially liked the story written from the lady vampire's point of view. Keep writing, I want to see more from you.

Very sensual story! Loved it!

i loved it alot!!! please write more!!!

Well done. Just slightly different from the usual, and fun to read.

Oh you must continue I loved this story I also know about VTM and my personality is very Toreador I can't wait to hear more!

But I liked the story.

And was very surprised to read the Vampire: Masquerade reference. My ex tried it for a bit, and fancied herself a Toreador. While I didn't get into it, I tried to participate because she did. I liked Ventrue the best, and I think I still have the pin she bought me, oh, so many years ago.

Sadly, it appears you aren't writing -- or if you are, you aren't posting anything here.