Dark Secrets

Alone, something all too familiar to me. Streets look the same, different people walk them. Businesses come and go, promising hope and prosperity, shattered through time. I am no one but a shadow among the living. They continue to live their worry laden lives, knowing their days are numbered. Yet they do nothing to improve themselves with each experience they have. I guess that is why it isn't so difficult to feed from them. They are but mere snacks to me.

I lost my emotional view of them long ago. As the word moral became basically extinct, they lost their human essence, there for, lost my empathy. I look at people like they are candy bars; each one with a different name and package, but delivering the same satisfaction for my mood at the time of my feed.

I was forced into this life style at a naïve and simple age. Over the years I have learned to fine tune my need and select the appropriate form of satiation the hungry beast that drives me. I speak of this beast as a separate entity because he is. He is wicked, maniacal, sadistic, and selfish. I think of the incredible hulk when I think of Cain, the beast that drives me. He has taught me to be bitter and unattached, severing me completely from the human ability to feel love, happiness, fear, and compassion. I am, that I am, is all he tells me and now I am that too.

I sought therapy a few years ago. I am forced to live this way and yet have issues coping. I feel much guilt, hate, and rage. Though my therapist is unaware of my affliction and true identity, she recommended that I use the Diary media in means of venting and getting things off my chest.

February 3rd

Two weeks was how long I lasted since my last feed. My last feed was a random guy in a fetish club down the street from my store. But today, the need was upon me like a chocolate craving gone mad. Each time someone came into the store and approached me, I felt dizzy and light headed. Despite my futile efforts to ignore it, it was evident to those who knew me well. Lyndsey was concerned. She kept commenting on how pale I was and how I seemed out of it.

"I am fine, just not enough sleep," I told her. Meanwhile, deep inside, Cain was daunting me with a fist clenching pain in my gut. I was so hungry that it hurt.

I was stocking my book shelves with the recent delivery when the door rang with the entry of a customer. I did not look, but I felt her. Cain was quick to make me feel her. She had this neediness that was quite potent.

"How are you today," Lyndsey said as the girl walked over to the counter.

"I am looking to get a Mehndi"

"Oh well Adonia here does them, perhaps you would like to talk to her?"

I turned around and approached the counter. My eyes met hers. She had a fare complexion and a bridge of light freckles over her nose. There was a serenity to her face and yet something deep inside of her, some sort of turmoil.

"What kind are you looking for," I asked her with a smile. I reached behind the counter and fetched my photo album filled with samples of my work.

"Well I am not sure," she nervously smiled as she looked at me. She sensed something too. "My friend had one done a few weeks ago here and I just fell in love with it."

"Here, look through my album and take your time. If you see something you like, let me know," I returned to stocking my shelves.

Lyndsey joined the customer and looked through the book, pointing out her favorites.

After a few moments, a design had been chosen. She picked a heart design with twisted ivy-like edges. It was simple looking and easy to do.

"Well follow me," I said as I led her up the spiral stairs that led to the upper section of my store used for tarot readings and mehndi art.

I had her sit at the table while I fetched the henna die and the baggies used lemon water, and brushes.

"So how long have you done this," she nervously asked. I was not too sure why she was nervous.

"Too many years," I replied as I sat at the small table across from her. "Which hand?"

She gave me her right. I looked into her eyes briefly and just knew her essence was something that I needed. I took the necessary steps to allow her to feel comfortable. I learned her name was Tammy and she was a medical lab student at the University of Pittsburgh. We chatted while I drew her henna art, and discussed going to a club.

Hook, line, and sinker, we were set up to meet that night, last night.

LaGa is a hip industrial Goth club that I frequent when hunting. I met Tammy outside and led her in through the double red doors. Super beast, by Rob Zombie was pounding through the studio area. Gothic ragers were bobbing and swaying on probe light blitzed dance floor. Tammy seemed out of her element.

We found a table close to the bar and talked about similar interests. I was able to pick up on her discomfort and attempted to ease it by simple home discussion. She was clearly feeling a little home sick.

We both ordered drinks and watched the ravers dance. Tammy commented on how some were dressed quite silly and others were flat out scary.

"Want to dance," I asked. "I do not like dancing alone."

Tammy hesitated before answering, "Sure."

We stood up and weaved our way through the crowded dance floor, dancers bumped into us as we searched for a spot. Manson was on now. I took the lead and began to bob and bounce to the upbeat song about drugs.

Tammy followed suit. She danced with lack of confidence, feeling out of place. I smiled and grabbed her arm and guided her to move. Before I knew it, we were bumping and grinding through the next several songs. Clearly she felt more confident and the rest of the world around us crumbled away.

Now, the voice within commanded. I felt this painful knot form in my stomach.

I pulled Tammy close to me as the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails came on. Its slow dirty beat was good for gyrating and grinding and that is just what I did.

Tammy seemed embarrassed at first but when I held her face in my hands, forcing her to look into my eyes; she was frozen, like a deer in head lights. She grinded her hips against me thrusting herself on my leg and smiled.

"I want to fuck you like an animal," the song blurted out.

I pulled her face to mine and gently brushed her lips with mine. I expected her to slap me or push away, but instead she kissed me back. She prodded my lips apart with her tongue and clutched my ass with her right hand.

Her kiss aroused me, her forwardness was intoxicating.

I whispered into her ear, "Let's go to the ladies room."

I grabbed her hand and led her through the crowded dance floor to the bathroom that was located in the far back.

A cluster of girls were leaving as we entered. I led Tammy to the farthest stall, the largest. I locked the door behind us and as I turned around, Tammy pushed me against the wall and kissed me. Her hands clutched at my breasts and her tongue explored my mouth. I became aroused quickly, kissing her back, brushing her tongue with mine. I moved my lips from hers, to her neck, just below her ear lobe and she sighed as her hands unbuttoned my blouse. Her warm fingers pulled at the cup of my bra as my tongue and teeth nibbled and teased the flesh on her neck, searching for her pulse. My tongue found her pulse, feeling it throb beneath my tongue forced the intensity of my pain to grow. I groaned in discomfort, Tammy thought was pleasure.

"You like that," she asked as she brushed her fingers over the hard nub of my nipple that she just exposed.

I growled as I brought her lips to mine. This kiss was more of despair, I needed her, and I needed her sweet nectar of life to feed this hungry evil inside of me. My animal instinct was kicking in. She groaned as we kissed, her hands roamed from my breast down into the waist band of my skirt. Her fingers seemed to know where they needed to be, movement of a more experienced girl, she prodded at my sex, brushing against my clit.

I pushed her away and forced her against the other side of the stall. She giggled.

I unbuttoned her purple blouse and exposed small bare breasts. My mouth hungrily took them in, tongue dancing over her rosebud nipples, flicking and biting at them, alternating between the two. Tammy's groan became more intense. Her breathing was a little labored as my mouth brought her to near climax by just teasing her nipples.

I knew her essence was going to be a powerful one. She seemed too pent up.

My hand worked its way up her skirt, pushing the crotch of her panties to the side; I inserted one finger, then two. Tammy groaned louder and began grinding her hips on my hand as I wiggled my fingers inside of her, mouth teasing hers, her neck, and her nipples.

Her muscles went rigid and she seemed rather close to release.

I knelt before her, instructing her to place one foot on the toilet and hold her skirt up. I reached into the pocket of my skirt and withdrew a small blade.

"Touch me," she begged. Her eyes were closed, her puffy lips parted and her cheeks were rose red. "Finger fuck me, touch me..."

I inserted my two fingers into her pussy, my mouth lapped at the triangular tuft of hair on her mons and then dipped into the slit that protected her precious clit. It was very hard and rather large. I used my free hand and tore at her panties, Tammy sounded as though she came with that. She sighed and groaned as the sheer fabric ripped right off her.

I continued to wiggle my fingers inside her pussy, she gently thrust her hips against my hand, with my free hand I held her engorged lips apart and my tongue flicked, licked, sucked and prodded at her clit.

"Oh Fuck," She yelled.

There was faint laughter in a near by stall. I did not care.

NOW! Drink from her NOW!

Tammy's breathing was even more labored as her climax was closing in.

"Fuck, oh Fuck, Oh FUCK ME," she cried as she grinded her pussy against my hand and mouth.

My tongue sucked on her clit and lips and flicked at her until I felt her release.

Her pussy clamped down in very forceful spasms as she screamed out literally in ecstasy.

My blade made a small line on her abdomen as she came. I used my left hand to cut her, my right was still finger fucking her, she was having multiple orgasms, I felt her throbbing on me, and juices began to cover my hand.

My hungry mouth latched onto her crimson line that I made. I drank from her until no more blood came out. The hunger inside of me that was screaming to be fed, became a soft distant echo as her orgasm began to cease. I pulled my mouth away and made another small slit beside the first.

Tammy did not notice. She was still wiggling her cunt against my hand, throbbing gently as my fingers continued to move inside of her.

This cut was a little larger. I sucked on her essence until it ran dry. The tired wave overcame me, I blacked out on the floor.