All Comments on 'Dawn's Mistake'

Seems like Uncle Sugar/Uncle Sam sent Bob to some very special schools where he was highly trained in direct action when handling interpersonal conflicts and using hands on problem resolution techniques .

I though the writing was top-notch along with the story telling. Didn't like the story though. Just another victim with no responsibility. Making that decision is always a life changer.

So I'm not sure this belonged in the LW section. It seemed more like a psychological case study that would be better suited in another place. I would be remiss if I didn't ask if you're feeling okay?

Talking to a professional could be of help. I kid you not.

Weak

I guess Bob was not like Dawn's father!

5

This is a rape story of a psychotic woman. Now more mentally deranged than ever.

To be frank, one shouldn't mess with Bob.

Yet another violent white Incel story from someone obviously wracked with guilt over his crushing cuck angst

looks like bob took out the trash

This reads like a case study instead of a story and has no emotional feeling emanating from the characters or the situations they’re in .

Usually like demanders stories but this one started weak and never recovered in my eyes. But we learned that if you rub a woman's clit in a public space she will fall under your spell and enjoy sex with you for two hours before waking up and hating it all! To me that sounds like the imagination of a 14 year old virgin... please make the seduction more plausible.

Painful story of present and past sexual predation, mitigated by Bob’s ultimately compassionate response to Dawn, which I’m certain he was able to choke down with a gratifying double shot of vigilante justice. Not exactly a feel good warm and fuzzy story, but in the end, sobering and compelling. Thanks. Well done.

That was interesting and well written.

I guess i am weak as i would end the marriage. I wouldnt or couldnt live with her. Psyco or not.

A complicated story which raises a lot of difficult issues and which deals with them in an understanding way. It is very well-written, as I would expect from such a good and experienced author, and it has given me some things to think about. Thank you for posting it.

The story was well written, carefully plotted, and quite disturbing. I’m not sure that I’m better off for having read the story, but it was engaging…like watching a train wreck.

Funny how things in life move around. The DC area (Del-Mar-VA) has a lot of unique organizations located around. Many are known such as Pentagon, CIA HQ and DIA HQ. However, it is always the ones you don’t know about that are the ones to watch out for their actions are not usually seen except as a footnote somewhere in a report.

To me that is what make the story/tale interesting. It, insight thoughts of the Puzzle Palace and some of the potential inter-workings.

The fact that people have issues rising from the youth is an established fact. This along with triggers can create situations that lead to what is known as the 1000-mile stare. Anyone who has been in heavy combat knows about and may have seen or experienced it. It does happen to youth who go through traumatic experiences such as rape, wrecks, boating accidents and other things. So, this story stirred deep emotions in my thoughts and images created.

The writer demander always creates vivid images in his tales. That is one of the reasons I enjoy them so much. I don’t always give them ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. But more often than not they are Good Reads ⭐⭐⭐ at their worst. This one earned its ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I gave it.

For those who hated it. That is your opinion just as my enjoying it was mine.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Well written story that leaves me with mixed feelings.

It seems the story was meant to focus on Dawn's childhood trauma as the cause of her giving in to Frank. That's fine. It's the author's story.

If that's the case then the beginning needed even less detail than was given. The details from the coffee shop and Frank's apartment really confused the issue for me. With no context to who Dawn is as a person or a wife the coffee shop scene is just weird. They've only flirted lightly at the gardening club once or twice. All of a sudden she agrees to coffee with essentially a stranger. Then we go from a couple of light touches to he jams his hand up the leg of her shorts and rubbing her clit. They're in a public place. She's sitting down. Yet, he's able to just shove his hand up the leg of her shorts without her reacting at all and no one in the coffee shop noticing?

Just seems out of place and leaves the beginning of the story feeling very flimsy to me.

Something happened to both perps.

She wasn't a victim when she fucked the second Frank. Regardless of background, adults are responsible for their actions. What happened to her was terrible, but it doesn't excuse the choice she made later to betray her husband and marriage. I think Bob is in for more pain with Dawn down the road. She'll repeat her cheating and he will pay the price. Very sad.

One predator paralyzed for life, without sexual function. The other left to bleed out in an alley, alone and forgotten. That's a good ending to the two failures of oxygen. And let's not forget the 'mother of the century'. Her lover shot dead, and the social pariah of her family now. Completely and utterly forgotten, with no youth left to attract most anyone.

Wow-Fucking justice the old fashion way!

An interesting story. The childhood trauma happens far more than most of us are aware of.

I have a relative who is a lawyer and she is working on historic child abuse cases in Scotland and Australia.

"Dr. Dickens was crying, too. She wasn't supposed to do that"

Says who? I know some therapists believe that shit but I don't. Every patient is different and some would be deeply uncomfortable if I expressed that kind of emotion but others? Expressing my empathy for their pain in such an obvious and plain manner can be extremely appreciated and helps the patient to understand they are not alone. Obviously this cannot be manufactured. It has to be organic and even then I need to recognize whether I should or not.

Childhood trauma is hard to overcome. Sexual abuse can have life-long effects on victims, even those who "enjoy" the sexual contact. When it happens, a person may enjoy the physical stimulation and later suffer the emotional damage. Fortunately, Dawn had an immediate response to the predator, Frank from Garden Club. She was actually a ripe target for long-term abuse if she'd had less of a response. Thanks for your efforts, D-man.

Helluva yarn. Poe would be proud

5 for the justified, righteous violence.

Light the fuse, listen to the sizzle expecting a blast off, and then dud. Like all the other demander stories.

A good story that ended with the best solution.

The franks of the world really to avoid the bob's. It doesn't seem to work out for them. The second frank got off easy. He should have spent the rest of his life like the first Frank. Sitting in a chair and watching what he would never do again.

Another excellent and quick 5 for demander, scored that way by QuickMagazine. Only gripe I have is why Bob took the home office and gave Dawn their bed. Not only should it have been the other way around for reasons of fairness, but also because it was inconsistent with Bob's character as revealed throughout the story. However, far more important are the superb revenges on the two Franks. Justice was served. Nicely done. Demander has had the MMC effect such before, most recently in "All Mixed Up," and before that in "Company Holiday Party." Always works for me. Meanwhile, Bob's decision to take Dawn back was a sound one, given the circumstances. As for the Anon who asked the author if he's feeling OK, and perhaps should seek help...PUH-LEAZE...this is fiction, y'all...

You handled your topic with great sensitivity.

This story is similar to my former marriage. My ex was molested as a child... a lot, started at 6, pregnant (aborted) at 11 and more. I knew about it in my case, going into the marriage, but was told she had counseling before we met and everything seemed fine. Except later on (over a decade) I found out she had been sleeping w/ all kinds of guys, don't know the real number, but likely over a dozen. She went to therapy and counselor thought she entered a dissociative state during her sexual encounters. Never worked out for us, although I still see her all the time b/c we have 2 autistic children together (she's a good mom) which means I am tied to her for life. Sometimes things don't work out, but I wanted to comment that these stories are not all crazy.

I enjoyed it. A somewhat different perspective. I agree with those who said it was quasi-rape. I would have liked it if Frank found out why he was targeted, if not by whom.

Cuckmander and another cheating WHORE wife APOLOGIST story. !

That's the thing about predators, they always think they're at the top of the food chain till that meet that skilled hunter that specializes in taking out predators.

As both Franks have learned, the wheels of karma move slowly at times but roll inexorably toward justice. A fine tale demonstrating these laws of cause and effect from which there is no exception or escape. Thank you, demander. Happy Holidays.

Nice story. It’s moral…don’t fuck with Bob. Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

"Payback's a bitch and her stripper name is Karma" seems to fit this story perfectly. Well written tale.

If the therapy had been a total success, then her mommy would have gotten it too.

The realization that she is a cheating slut just like her mother doesn't make her less of a cheating slut....

Also, not believable. No way the husband wouldn't know the guy living with his mother in law was not his wife's father. The whole story would have come out long ago. The wife's background story in no way explains her cheating, only her guilt. She is now just another cheating slut and her kids and husband all know. Only can blame herself. Dump, take the kids. and run.

So Bob dealt with both Franks maimed one for life and killed the Frank that caused it all. I hope he told the Grank he killed why.

4/5

⭐⭐⭐

Kinda right reading a newspaper. I mean the folded paper type. In black ink. Substantial amounts of the development of the story is Demander telling We-The-Readers. Narration. Hard for WTR to develop any sense of the characters when WTR have not yet heard them. Granted, narration is a FAST way to get a lotta info onto the page… but is reading fiction about efficient?

This just sounds like more crap from the #metoo crowd. She was not raped, when she cheated. Yes she was raped when she was a child. The fact that she entered a catatonic state should have her committed to a psych ward. Seems like the whole story is just another excuse for her not take responsibility for her actions. When abused and bullied kids go nuts and do a mass shooting, do they get a pass. Nope. Why do we all want to give women a pass.

Just another cuck story.

Good that the male villains were punished. Bad that the female villains were not, but no woman is ever accountable in a demander story. There’s lots of women who were abused that don’t commit adultery. No matter what was done to you, once you are able to make your own decisions, you are accountable for your choices! At every step, she chose foolishly. Don’t be alone with a man. Don’t eat and drink with him. Don’t allow him to flirt with you. It was preventable, and the husband was a dumbass for taking her back, and the therapist was evil for excusing her choices!

ZK

I am all in on protecting your family. Some people say violence is not the answer…They have mid read the question.

I understand about her past and triggers but still would be kicked out.

Love the punchline.

This was interesting.

I probably needed a more fleshed out story for the details in this one but it was an interesting framework for a good story.

Interesting but a little overboard on the revenge.

You're a cheating slut apologist

Typical cuck story

Yes. Successful. Justice. On a stick........

Interesting web of emotions, well portrayed. It would have been still more interesting if Bob hadn't had access to super powers. 4*

Good tale. Glad that both Franks got Theirs. LP

@skubabill - the benefit us slim (franks are psychopaths so don't really get remorse even if they find out why they were targeted), the risks are high (husband risks jail). Not worth it at all.

I get it, that the wife's been emotionally and physically scarred by aggressive men named Frank, and that the wife is extremely vulnerable to such behavior. It's odd that it's only come up now in their marriage. With that said, this story was a bit of a miss for me.

Good story elevated to a *5 by the retribution visited on both of the Franks who preyed on the wife. Reconciliation in this story was palatable because of her traumatic history.

"Bob and his section were employed to monitor and hack certain computer networks" - Of COURSE he's a computer hacking expert.

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"Something about her parents." - Presumably Bob knows about her parents?

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"She realized, in the midst of her declaration, that she couldn't make such a promise, having broken her vows so recently." - Bingo! So many stories have the wife promising never to cheat again. As Dawn realizes, such promises are meaningless.

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I know she was living with her aunt, but I find it hard to believe that he was unaware of her family situation.

I gave it three stars. The writing was fine, but not unusually engrossing. The plot was similarly fine, but not something I felt was totally inspired. Honestly, decent story, decent writing; just wasn’t anything special.

It must be nice living in the black and white world occupied by those of you who yell cuckold at any man whose wife proves to have been subjected to a moment of weakness. Is it possible you doth protest too much? JUST WONDERING—for it seems just a tad over on the other side of reasonable. cd

Justice I get. But why would he still trust his wife again? The therapy cured her of predators? Doubtful.

The husband should have just bailed so Frank was forced to support his kid. Now who would be the cuckold? Just drop everything and walk off. Maybe join the French Foreign legion. Lol come back and raise hell with a belly fulla fire and a head fulla ptsd.

I was wondering if I should invest my time reading this yarn, so I started with an open mind. I get as far as the coffee shop scene where the villain, without being invited, sticks his hand inside wifey’s pants and feels her clit. Now in the world that I inhabit any woman sexually assaulted in that way would kick up a fuss and call the police. Instead, our heroine is inflamed with lust and goes straight to the villain’s lair for a good banging. At that point I gave up reading. I like a touch of reality in yarns. I’m sorry but 2 stars. Thanks for sharing.

Good husband.

I liked it, would have been nice if there was retribution for the mother too but you can’t have everything.

An entertainingly written story.

Although I don't live or think in a black and white world, I find the husband's reaction very strange! It has become really easy to deny guilt. One has only one very bad experience in childhood and one is already "innocent"! I'm just wondering, why doesn't anyone name all the great people who have had terrible experiences in their pasts and yet have become straight, trusting and respectable people?

liked it but the sleeping husband. how does someone sleep after taking his wife to the hospital with a sexual assault hanging in the air

I thought the story was well constructed and well written. 5*****

To the comment by Hiker66biker: You gave up on the story way too soon. If you read further you would have learned that Dawn had a protracted nightmare of a childhood and early teen experience. Her mother openly cuckolded her father with a neighbor "Frank" having sex with him openly in the family home from the time Dawn was a small child. When her weakling father caught Frank and Dawn's mother, he ineffectually protested, but Frank beat up Dawn's father who from that point forward allowed his cuckolding to continue.

Dawn's mother moved Frank into the house and continued to openly have sexual relations with him. Frank also sexually molested Dawn starting when she was 13 or 14, continuing until a sexually jealous mother moved her out of the family home to live with a relative.

Dawn was deeply ashamed and traumatized by those childhood experiences, especially because she apparently felt some sexual pleasure from Frank's molestation of her as a young teen. I am reading a small bit into the story but the author very skillfully presented Dawn's therapist with difficulty getting the highlights of this background from Dawn.

This severe childhood trauma was the background to the scene which Hiker66biker complained about. For once, this was not a "Martian slut ray hit the wife" story. Dawn's reaction to intimate contact with Frank was to readily give in as she did when she was a child because no one was there to help or protect her. Her sex session with "Garden Club Frank" led to a severe psychological break to the extent that she had a mental breakdown which led to her hospitalization. This episode is puzzling at first and only makes sense once she starts seeing a therapist. It was very well handled by the author and believably presented. (Note also that "Garden Club Frank was himself a serial sexual predator who probably spotted Dawn as a good victim of his attentions).

Dawn's husband Bob's forgiveness of her was predicated on his learning in a joint therapy session that Dawn had gone through severe childhood trauma. Otherwise, particularly knowing the usual reaction of this author's male characters to wifely infidelity, Bob would have probably been unforgiving. But Bob was true to form for demander's wronged husbands: he made sure that Garden Club Frank was paralyzed from the waist down, losing all sexual function and that the Frank who molested Dawn when she was a child was shot dead.

Again, a story that goes deeper than most and deserves to be read.

As is frequently the case, the comments are more interesting than the story. So many annonies telling us that Bob should dump his wife, and that’s what they would do, when in reality their wives dumped them for someone better.

Why was Franklin Schmidt? As I see it, death isn't a real punishment.

I would have preferred him to be beat up and hurt like Frank Byers. That would have been a real punishment.

Oh I liked this, written to ramp up as you read it, just enough reality but a good story.

Welcome to the future as countless children will soon be in this sort of situation, as society continues to raise and add submissive men on a daily basis. Everyone always says don’t judge, or whatever kink is done in private is just fine. This fails to evaluate the big picture nor does it answer the question as to why we have millions of submissive men and why cuckolding is skyrocketing in popularity. Society is fundamentally changing as black men are now superior in every way, the white patriarchy is at fault for everything, and men are easily defeated in hand to hand battle by a single woman because the movies say so. Women are superior beings,able to literally do anything, while men ar bumbling insipid fools. A google search turns up over 200 tv shows and sitcoms where in the men are single digit iq objects of ridicule, while the females , usually 15 or less, solve world hunger and cure cancer in their spare time. Why is this, because white men are not a protected class. Try making a tv show that ridicules women , gays, trans or blacks. You’ll will be shot at sunrise. All the while scientists predict that if we really did remove white men from the equation, civilization would be in chaos within 30 days. While everyone else happily uses cars, roads ,airplanes, internet, electrical grid, etc, etc, all invented and engineered by guess who. Anyone else think it strange that in the last year for which numbers are available 69% of ALL SUICIDES WERE WHITE MEN?

I have read this story more than once and have already given it 5 stars, so I can't do it again. I think Demander has come up with the perfect solution for serial predators. Sever the spinal cord in such a way that the predator is alive, still has the mind of a sexual predator, but the inability to have sex. Let him live out the rest of his days wheeling himself around as a paraplegic. Garden group Frank earned his punishment and had years left to suffer from it, while incest Frank was so old at that time that just putting him down was probably the cleanest solution. If both Franks got the same treatment, the police might have picked up on it, and Bob would have been in serious trouble. Anyhow, great story and very satisfying.

Not proper Femdom agitprop, but a side branch - Victim agitprop. I wasn’t responsible because of my childhood, etc.

Well that just plain sucked. She fucked him because she was raped as a teen, derp. Now she has a free pass to fuck anyone she wants to. At least she won’t fuck reedrichards, that dude is totally gay.

I liked the comments about the king of felching, “ queef richards”. I have another comment directed towards him, that I heard on this site- “ queef couldn’t get laid, if he was at a woman’s prison, with a hand full of pardons!”. I think that sums it up, quite nicely. As far as the story line, it was very interesting. Very few writers have invested a actual reason, for wifey becoming a whore, outside of the martian slut ray. I gave it a 4, because I don’t believe it was possible to cure her, and she would always be kind asshole away from a relapse. I thought they should have divorced.

Wow.. this story seemed to get under some commenters skin! Is., drgwng's rant. The predators got the appropriate justice. Case closed. The husband was right to forgive the wife. One respects and cannot judge his decision. It was his mercy to dispense. He was within his rights to divorce her still. You can forgive and still divorce for an infidelity. I did just that with my first wife for an extended affair with her boss despite our minor children. She didn't stay with him after and hasn't remarried while I did. The only revenge was my second wife becoming their beloved stepmom with beloved half siblings. The married boss lost a marriage and custody. The best revenge is simply moving on and living well. And my ex got to see it all.😀 But absent that, this story does a good job. I would have revenged on the older abusive Frank too for hurting and traumatizing a beloved spouse. The ranters forget that mercy is a virtue where appropriate. Wife yes, mother's abusive paramour, no.

There's not much purpose in going to therapy if you're going to paralyze or kill all those with whom you come into conflict. Both death and the inability to walk are pretty much guaranteed to leave the offending party unable to cause you more distress. Your coping skills will not be challenged further by those so afflicted.

Blah blah justice for all, except the keg spreader

Wow this was a dark story. Her father was a spineless worm. Can't believe that would not end with double murder suicide. Regardless, Frank Byers was an evil predator. This passage is the only proper response in such a dark situation:

[She gave Bob the report to read, when the joint session began. And she carefully watched Bob's reaction. She saw him stiffen as he read, and then she saw a few tears from him. But those tears dried up, and there was a short moment of obvious anger. Then Bob shut down, and looked up.

He said, "I understand." He turned to Dawn. "I forgive you, Dawn. I never knew this stuff."]

===> he forgave her. Period. She needed and continued to get major therapy for a hideous PTSD like experience and teenage rape. To the commenters who think she will use it as a.free pass going forward despite her initial resistance, and then hee psychotic break and catatonic, well all I can say is it must suck being so heartless and perfect. Her response to Frank Byer's forceful attempt at seduction was messed up because what she saw when she was eight years old and the subsequent eight years. Despite her telling him "no" and she was married, he put his hand on her clit and rubbed her. A healthy woman woukd scream at the guy and threaten rape. Her childhood screwed up her ability to respond. Think of all the times Frank Senior did that to her for two years. And her guilt over feeling pleasure with both Franks (past and present) was extreme. So if you can't forgive her this one time slip with all she had been through, then no one can be forgiven.

A weird twisted story.

Your style of writing in this particular story is not smooth. Nothing flows, rather it is in choppy windblown segments. I hope you stay away from this style in the future.

Lazy game of thrones type of ending.

So she cuckolded her husband because Frank cuckolded her Dad.

Makes sense.

Then she was so guilty feeling she went catatonic.

Enough love to feel guilty and go catatonic but not enough to keep her legs together.

After she went through all the motions to get the deed done of course.

Speculation s abound.

The plot and writing made sense, but not a fun read. That said, I like the subtle way the author wrote dealing with the two perps.

Bob should have run her mother over with a bus.

Three stars.

A lot of good stuff, but something is lacking. In a way it was more like reading a police report, than a story.

Plot +

Character development +

The Hoary Cleric

nice.ù

I liked the premise but it was missing emotion and detail

Someone mentioned it read like a police report and while I think it was a bit better than, I can see the comparison.

Lies destroy relationships and secrets are lies by omission!

This felt weird, and was ultimately unenjoyable. It was well written, and for that I give it a 3, but because it leaves such a bad taste in the mouth, and because there seems to be zero joy in the story, 3 is as high as it can go.

Interesting story and a small twist. Reminds me of another story on this site where a wife was drugged and raped by her best friend and her best friend’s husband and went catatonic. If I remember correctly, justice was administered in that story as well.

.

I think the cold emotional tone of the story works as it parallels the detachment survivors sometimes have to the violence inflicted upon them. The therapist had pretty good insight and it’s true that the SOs of survivors sometimes have second order emotions (guilt, anger, jealous, depression). Good job!

Why is there never any repercussions upon the cheating bitch ? Your bio says that you are a man...Yet, your stories always let the women get away with screwing over the husband . I'm curious as to why you write from a woman's point of view and let them slut around unpunished It would seem that you could actually be female... Anyway, 2 stars .

What about repercussions for Dawn's mother?

And @bigurn, you have no clue about how sexual abuse affects people. You shouldn't plan on moving out of your mom's basement anytime soon.