Dead and Horny Ch. 18

"You got shot?" Tasia leaned in front of Dana and gasped. "How many times?"

"At least four." Dana dug a finger into one of the holes and teased the bullet inside. This one would come out easy since it was still in one piece.

"And you're...okay?" There was a hesitation in the werewolf's voice. "You're not a witch, but you are something else, aren't you?"

"Guilty. Out of curiosity, are werewolves immune to disease and all that?" Dana swerved onto a side street, then took them into a neighborhood less than a block away from the beach. The area was poorly lit, with plenty of rental cars parked along the side of the road. She felt far less guilty stealing a rental than the family minivan.

Tasia licked her lips and stared straight ahead. After a few moments of silence, she spoke. "Lycanthropy is technically classified as an illness, but I know now that it's a gift. One of those gifts is immunity to disease and infection. Anything that isn't a part of me becomes purged. There isn't room for anything other than the wolf."

"Fascinating."

They parked on the side of the road and got out. Dana walked at a clipped pace, studying the cars they passed. She finally came upon a green Kia with one of the windows cracked open an inch. After hooking her fingers in the top, she pulled hard enough that the glass shifted down. Tasia kept watch from the other side of the vehicle, her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail. It revealed the slender curve of a neck packed with muscle that looked so delicious that Dana wanted to bite it.

No, not bite. Lick, maybe. Suck. Her stomach was dancing now, doing all sorts of flip flops as it contemplated the muscular creature across from her.

Where was Lily when she needed her?

When they broke into the Kia, Dana contemplated the driver's seat. "Are you good to drive?" she asked, wondering if she could convince the werewolf to drive while she rubbed one out in the back seat. Or two, or three, or...

"Not really. Being in a car makes me sleepy. Even before this, Amida usually drove, so..." Tasia made a face, then slipped into the passenger seat without another word.

Damn. Dana got in the driver's seat and broke into the ignition. A few crossed wires later, and the car started. She pulled out of the neighborhood and stuck to the back roads for a bit before heading back to the highway. Her phone rang and she put it on speaker.

"I'm guessing things went poorly." Eulalie chuckled. "You guys made a pretty big splash down there. Looks like someone is already scrubbing footage, but I'm catching what they miss."

"A vampire is on our trail and we need somewhere safe to land. Demon is still tracking Tasia, so who knows when they'll show up." Dana looked over at Tasia, her gaze sliding down to her breasts.

"Vampire? Really?" Dana heard keys clacking. "Awesome! That explains some of the anomalies in the video. It's so cool."

"It isn't. He kicked our asses." Dana noticed there was a tear in Tasia's shorts, revealing tan skin just beneath.

"You sound distracted."

"Had to drink some special sauce." Dana gritted her teeth and looked at Tasia, who was now paying close attention. "And the scenery is enticing."

There was a long pause, punctuated by the sound of more keys. "What do you need from me?"

"Directions," Tasia said. "To the nearest library."

Dana looked at Tasia. "We don't need a library. We've got a smartphone and the Rat Queen."

"We need a witch," Tasia countered. "And if you ever need to find a witch, you just need to go to the library."

"Why would a witch be at the library?" asked Eulalie.

"For the same reason many libraries were funded by the Order. To ensure there was a proper magical infrastructure in the US. Statistically, at least one librarian will be a witch."

"I thought you hated witches." Dana bit her lip and squirmed.

"Bad witches. There are good witches, too. Have you ever spent time at a library before? I guarantee you've seen the magic, you just never recognized it as such. It isn't always flashy spells and transformations. Sometimes it's just good advice and a little spiritual cleansing." Tasia looked from Dana back to the phone. "If we can hide somewhere until sunrise, then we can head to the library and find our witch. They can undo the demon's magic and come up with a plan to, I can't believe I'm saying this, save the succubus."

Tasia let out a breath, and visibly deflated. She had sunk back into her seat and was looking outside now. "I owe you all that much, at least."

There was silence for nearly a mile before the phone chimed. "I've got you an address to a parking garage," Eulalie said. "It's two blocks away from a library. You two will be driving most of the night, I'm afraid. Based on the research I have here, you can stay ahead of the vampire if you keep moving. I'll have our own librarian start pulling research now. There's nothing in the archives yet."

"Thanks, Queen." Dana wiggled in her seat.

"As for your other problem, there is something in the bag, but it'll probably only take the edge off." The way Eulalie said edge, Dana could hear her smirking. "It's in the front pocket."

"Thanks again." Dana hung up and then touched the notification on her phone, which took her to the phone's map. She activated the route and sighed in frustration. After a few more minutes, she looked over at Tasia to see that she had indeed fallen asleep.

"Dammit," she muttered. Sticking her hand into the back seat, she found the bag and rummaged around in it until her fingers closed on a small box. When she pulled it out, she stared at the package in disbelief.

It was a vibrating egg with a pocket remote. The words Silver Bullet were written across the front.

Did this count as irony? She wasn't sure. However, she promptly slid the bullet beneath the waistband of her panties and sighed when it came to life. It wasn't going to satisfy her, that much was true. But as her first orgasm slowly built over the next twenty minutes, she finally got Eulalie's joke.

It really was gonna take the edge off.

BOOM! It only took me five years, but we finally have some vampire on werewolf violence! Now to resist the urge to throw glitter all over it and I'll stay ahead of the curve!

Monster fun-fact! Old world vampires were supposed to be extremely OCD, and that's why the Count on Sesame Street likes to count things! It isn't something portrayed in movies, because it does seem a little silly to defeat a vampire by throwing your spice rack at it. I think Interview with a Vampire was one of my favorite vampire stories growing up, and Necroscope had an interesting take that I enjoyed.

Once again, thank you for your time and attention, definitely hit some stars on the way out. Next chapter, you're gonna see what happens to a rental when you put a horny zombie inside.

Later!

~Annabelle Hawthorne