Dead and Horny Ch. 23

"Yeah. Gross." Dana swatted Eulalie's behind, causing her to raise her abdomen, then knelt down to clean off the Arachne's legs. "Say, where's Lily at?"

"She's the one who brought breakfast. Said she was going for a walk." Eulalie lifted a leg. "Hey, Dana?"

"Hmm?" Dana looked up from a particularly grizzly mess on Eulalie's leg joint.

"Thanks." The Arachne stared down at Dana, gratitude in her eyes. "For everything."

"Don't mention it." She turned her attention back to Eulalie's leg and used her fingernail to scrape away what she hoped was swamp mud. "This, specifically."

"Noted."

Lily walked along the bluffs of Washington, her eyes trained on the rocky shore below. With the rising sun, fishing trawlers puttered out of the bay past the white caps where they would open up on the throttle to get to their hunting grounds.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Spirit Mike was walking perilously on the edge, his arms wobbling with every treacherous step.

She narrowed her eyes and turned away from the view. "Please. My thoughts are worth way more than a penny."

"Most I can do is a nickel and a dirty joke." Mike stuck his hand in a pocket and pulled out a coin. He made as if to hand it over to Lily, then dropped it off the bluff. "Well, shit. Anyway, a man goes to the sperm bank to make a donation and there's a woman in the elevator--"

"Heard it already. Her mouth is full of cum, right?"

Mike frowned. "Have you heard about the penguin who needed his car fixed?"

"This whole thing was a mistake." Lily gestured back at the house where she could almost feel the warm glow of Dana's lovemaking. The zombie didn't know it, but Lily had briefly walked in on her and Tasia in the shower. While inclined to join, she had a suspicion that she would have only ruined the moment, so had gotten the puppy some post-coital snacks. It was the least she could do.

"If you're talking about the house, it has a 4.7 out of 5 on the website."

"Do other people feel this way when they're talking to me?"

Mike chuckled and stuck out his tongue.

"I mean the whole thing with Legion. That stupid fucker Timotei. And that asshole in the hat. I get the feeling that we somehow pissed off several people at the same time, and it's only going to come back and bite us in the butt."

Mike stopped walking and nodded. "Yeah, I feel it too. On the plus side, our butts are so biteable."

Lily swatted him with her tail, and he fell off the cliff. She smirked when he floated back up holding a rainbow umbrella.

"You're determined, I'll give you that." She sighed and looked down the path. There was a concrete bench next to a trash can which was hardly ideal, but it would do.

"Finally going to check in with the preacher man?" asked Mike.

"Yep. I have a feeling he'll give me indigestion." She walked to the bench and sat down, then leaned forward so the sun could shine on her neck. "And put that umbrella away, you look ridiculous."

Mike snorted and continued walking along the edge. However, the umbrella did promptly disappear. "What do you think he'll taste like?"

"Misery and despair. False hope." Lily licked her lip, then checked her surroundings before altering her clothes. To anyone passing by, she was a jogger in an oversized hoodie taking a break. "Some of the more nuanced flavors."

Though her eyes remained fixed on the bay, she withdrew into herself. Prior to developing her own Dreamscape, consuming a soul had been done from the outside, much like experiencing a memory. But now she could face her meals properly if she chose, and Deacon Osgrove was waiting for her there.

They were on the beach, but Deacon was out in the water. His eyes were wild and terrified as the waves washed over him. Chains held him tight to massive stones beneath the water, preventing his escape.

"Clever." Mike stood on the beach with Lily. "It's like you're waterboarding him for the truth."

"Yeah, that's the fun thing about souls. They don't break down like the human mind, you can do stuff like this and they're aware of every miserable moment." Lily walked out onto the water, the waves going still to create a path from her to Deacon. "I've essentially been water-boarding him this entire time."

"How long has that been from his perspective?" asked Mike.

"Hmm. A month, maybe?" She wasn't entirely sure. After shoving him here, there had been more pressing matters. "Regardless, it should have been long enough to soften him up for me."

With a snap of her hand, the water parted. Deacon fell flat on the sand, coughing up water and groaning. When Lily approached, he looked up at her and covered his head.

"Please, no more," he begged. "Just let me die!"

Lily grabbed the man by his neck with her tail and lifted him off the ground. Her eyes blazed with fire as she pressed her forehead against Osgrove's and growled.

"If you're hoping for mercy, I'd like to remind you that your flock is likely getting the flesh peeled from their heels in Hell," she said. "They can be quite creative down there."

Deacon swatted at her hands in an attempt to escape, but her will here was absolute. Lily pressed her hands against Osgrove's temples and squeezed.

"So let's go ahead and crack open this coconut and see what he's hiding from us."

Deacon's cries for mercy went unanswered.

Thank you so much for sticking with it, next chapter will be the last! Don't forget to leave me some stars, the more the better! I haven't figured out how to trade them in for free pancakes at the Ihop near me, but at least they've stopped calling the police when I argue with them about it!

Now that you're done reading, take a deep breath, let it out, and give yourself a big hug. You deserve it.

~Annabelle Hawthorne