Dear Abby's Vacay

The sun had been up for nearly two hours, but the weather outside refused to believe it. It was cold, and it wanted to stay cold.

I couldn't think of a good reason not to drive my mom to the hospital to visit her next-door neighbor. At least, no good reason that would make any sense to her. She called the night before, saying that my dad was taking her car in for service in the morning, but that he thought she should go on anyway, and pay Mr. Barker a visit. When she asked how she was supposed to get there - his car was in the body shop following an encounter with a deer - he suggested that she should call me for a ride.

So, she did. After all, he was my neighbor, too, from the time I was a teenager until the time I headed off to college. He had always been a good neighbor. Why couldn't she go to the hospital with my dad some other time? Why did it have to be today? I guess my mom and dad had their busy days, and their slow days, and this was a particularly slow day for my mom, so the decision had been made.

Mr. Barker suffered a heart attack while at a little hole-in-the-wall bar on the other side of town. One of the bar patrons knew CPR, and resuscitated poor Mr. Barker until the paramedics arrived. The hospital held him overnight for observation, and then another night, and another. Mr. Barker's wife had passed away a few years prior, so other than a few former coworkers, there were no other close friends or nearby family members to check in on him. My feeling of guilt was matched by my feeling of dread and worry.

I was fairly certain I caused his heart attack.

Okay, maybe I wasn't the only cause. He probably should have checked with his doctor before taking the little blue pill, and made sure his heart was healthy enough for sex. Then again, I probably shouldn't have rocked his world as hard as he rocked mine when he let it slip that he once had an affair with my mom. But, what happened just happened.

I couldn't take it back.

I'd been with other men at that bar. Sometimes, more than one at a time, and they were all much older than me, but we never had a problem.

His heart actually stopped while he was inside me.

I felt so bad for him.

I also felt bad for me, worrying that he might start talking in a delusional state about how much he enjoyed the way I sucked and swallowed like my mom, or bounced on his dick like her. Even worse, he knew that his talking about fucking her turned me on. I really didn't need him bringing any of that up when we visited him in the hospital, but it would just seem weird to my mom if I refused to go in with her. Especially if what Mr. Barker said was a complete lie.

Even if he did lie about doing anything with my mom, he'd probably memorized every inch of my body while he was fucking me, and could describe my large clit, pierced nipples, or who-knows-what if I called him out on anything he might say about me... or what caused him to end up in the hospital. Jean had told me to complicate my life on my terms whenever possible. This felt like one of those times.

It was only a twenty-minute drive, so I knew I had to get right to the point.

"Mom, did you and dad ever give each other Hall Passes?" I asked.

I could see from the corner of my eye that she was looking at me quizzically.

"Did you cheat on Ron, Abby?" my mom asked.

"Is it cheating if your significant other knows about it?" I replied.

"Well, that would depend. Does the significant other know about it before or after you had sex with someone else?" my mom asked accusingly. "Do you and Ron have an open marriage, now? Oh, Abby," she said with a disappointed look.

"We're not talking about me, mom," I said. "I was asking about you... and dad."

"Well," my mom started, then paused as if contemplating saying something. "I guess you're old enough to know."

"I'm in my thirties, mom," I reminded her.

"Yes, I know, Abby," she said. "I just haven't thought about it for a long time. You just get to a certain age and affairs aren't really a thing anymore, and they're certainly not something you bring up in casual conversation."

"So, did you have an affair?" I asked.

"Let's get to the hospital and talk about it afterwards," my mom answered.

"I'd rather talk about it before, if you don't mind," I said.

"Well, it might take a while," my mom said.

"Mr. Barker can wait, mom. I don't think he's going anywhere for a while," I said, defiantly.

"Okay, then," my mom said, cautiously. "Let's get a coffee at the hospital cafeteria and talk about it before going up."

"I'm not sure your father gave me an actual Hall Pass as you call it," my mom said before taking a sip of bad hospital coffee. "It was a different time, and a different situation than what couples experience these days. Plus, our situation was unique. It was much more than a Hall Pass."

I nodded, tasting my own terrible cup of hospital coffee, wincing, and following it up with another sip, hoping it might magically get better.

My mom went on to remind me that she was married right after high school. Not because she was pregnant, but because she really wanted to marry my dad as soon as her parents allowed. She was a virgin on their wedding night, and pregnant three weeks later. When she missed her first period, my dad was already overseas on a rotation in the Navy. He took the news well, and promised to get home as soon or often as he could, but he would typically be gone months at a time. He was there when I was born, but not much before.

According to my mom, I wasn't exactly an unwanted pregnancy, but I was unwanted so early in their marriage. She discovered that she really enjoyed sex with my dad, and thought she would get more of the same for at least a few years before changing her primary responsibilities from sexy wife to doting mother. When she realized that window would rapidly shrink as I grew inside her, she became depressed and conflicted.

Her sister was married to one of my dad's friends, on the same ship with him, and she passed along what my mom was going through. The friend told my dad, and there were tensions. My dad realized a career in the Navy was not going to be possible if he wanted to stay married. He was torn with not knowing what to do.

Then, my dad did something completely unexpected. He told my mom to have sex with someone else while he was gone - while she was pregnant. She had to make sure nobody found out, as he did not want to be humiliated among his friends by a cheating wife. Since she was already pregnant, he deduced that she couldn't become more pregnant by someone else, and he didn't have to worry about a baby coming out looking nothing like him. He knew that she had never been with anyone before him, and they had both planned on having at least a few years of sexual adventures - just the two of them.

Even while they were dating, they discussed the idea of inviting another man or woman to their bed. At first, they both had a good laugh about the idea, but where my mom said she felt she would be jealous, first, and then aroused, later, my dad simply said he would be happy as long as she was happy.

He assured her that his recommendation wasn't because he wasn't cheating on her, and that he still loved her. As long as she still loved him, and sex with someone else was just sex, he was okay with her having sex with someone else while it was still safe to do so early during her pregnancy. He thought that if she got it out of her system, she'd be less-inclined to stray after he was home for good.

"So, did you have sex with someone?" I asked, on the edge of my seat.

"For about two months, I think I had sex with everyone," my mom said, smiling. "Well, almost everyone."

I almost dropped my coffee cup. It also felt like I just pissed in my panties.

"Who?" I asked. "Some of his friends?"

"Actually, all of his friends," my mom said, staring past me and smiling.

She explained that one of his friends had asked her to their junior prom, but she had been holding out for my dad to ask her. When he never did, she went with his friend, but ended up spending more time on the dance floor with my dad. She felt bad about how she must have made that boy feel, and years later, she made up for it by inviting him for lunch. Then, she invited him for dinner. Finally, she invited him between her legs. She chose him as the first man to ever come inside her after marrying my dad.

"So, he wasn't the only one?" I asked, wondering if she would ever fast forward to when we moved next to Mr. Barker.

"Oh, heaven's no," my mom said, as if I should know better. "I had sex with all of his friends. Not at the same time, of course. I have more class than that."

I gave her a look that she wasn't sure how to interpret.

"You had sex with all of the guys that dad didn't want to know about you having an extra-marital affair?" I asked.

"Yes. It seemed the only way to get them to not gossip about it. Loose lips sink ships, after all," she said, finishing her coffee. "I think I was up to three times a day, alternating between seven different men on different days of the week. It was wonderful. I learned and experienced a lot."

She said it as if we were discussing which outdoor plants might hold up better in the cold weather.

"Did they ever tell?" I asked. "You know... tell dad?"

"No. Never," my mom said confidently. "Some of them have already taken our secret to the grave."

"And, what did you tell dad?" I asked, wondering how he coped with knowing his young wife had sex with someone else at his suggestion.

"I told him I did what he suggested. I had sex. A lot of sex. I experimented, and learned a lot about sex, and that I was done learning, and once I entered the second trimester with you, I didn't have sex again until he was finally home for good. No complaints from your dad after we had you, as I was his well-educated, sexual nymph during your nap times.

I also said that I would never tell him who I had sex with, but that they had always worn protection (mostly), and I felt they could be trusted to never tell a soul."

"And he believed you?" I asked.

"He did," my mom said. "He had no reason not to. I was very discrete in choosing where I met the other men for our little trysts, so nobody else knew what I was up to. Absolutely nobody."

"Except the guys banging you," I said under my breath.

My mom smiled at me as if I had just graduated to "potty trained" status.

I felt dizzy. I never pictured my quiet, conservative mother as the sexually adventurous type. Maybe I was in shock. I couldn't help but look at her differently just then. I didn't judge, though. It was more a sense of admiration. I had always thought of my mom as a go-getter, but the news was still shocking.

She was right... it was a different time. But, I think I figured out who I got my naughty side from.

She started to get up and grab her coat from the back of the chair, when I stopped her.

"I have another question," I asked. She gave me the "what now?" look, and sat back down.

"Did you fool around with anyone else, after?" I said, quietly. "Without dad knowing?"

There was a long pause before either one of us said anything. I could feel my clit throbbing, and it was becoming increasingly distracting.

Then my mom looked me in the eye and said, "Yes."

"So, you had an affair?!?" I asked, pretending to be shocked.

"It was a mistake, Abby," my mom assured me. "Very different than when I was pregnant with you."

"How so?" I asked.

"I had this illusion that your father was cheating on me. He had been traveling more at his new job after the military, and they had a vivacious secretary that had quite the reputation. A few of his friends - some of the ones that I had relations with all those years ago - each separately told me that the company secretary seemed to travel just as often as your father, which I found odd, given she was just a secretary. They insinuated that he was having the time of his life abroad, and maybe the mouse should play, too, while the cat was away.

I was certain they were lying, as your father was always faithful to me, and always told me where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing. But, that didn't stop the thought of him cheating on me from rattling around in my thick head.

"So, what did you do?" I asked, squirming in my seat. "Did you have 'relations' with his friends again?"

"Oh, certainly not!" my mother said, loudly. "I knew what they were up to, not that I blamed them. When your father was at work, and you were at school, there were plenty of opportunities for short rendezvous with any of them, but I knew no good would come of it - going back to any of his so-called friends."

"So, what mistake did you make?" I asked, trying to calm her down.

"I couldn't get the thought of your father and that secretary out of my head, even though I knew he wouldn't do that to us. It... it actually aroused me, a little, just like I suspected it would so many years ago. I thought of what his friends had done with me before you were born - which I will not go into details, so don't ask - and imagined your father doing all those things with the secretary. I was jealous when I didn't need to be. But, I was also increasingly frustrated when he was gone."

"So, you found a different group of men to have sex with?" I asked, almost sounding as if that's the outcome I was hoping for.

"Not a group," my mom said. "Just one."

"One time? One and done?" I asked.

"No, not one time. More like one Summer," she said.

"May I ask when?" I said, looking at my empty coffee cup.

"Shortly after we moved and put in the pool," she said, quietly.

"Anyone I know?" I asked. I stopped my hand from going between my legs. I'm sure the movement looked odd.

"Yes," my mom said, "But, let's leave it at that. He was much older, and that was a long time ago."

"Does dad know?" I asked.

"No," my mom said. "And I'd prefer to keep it that way. I ended up getting to know the secretary in question, and she turned out to be a lesbian. Like I said, it was a mistake."

"But, a good mistake?" I asked.

My mom looked at me with a sly smile, stood up, and folded her coat over her arm. "Let's go visit our neighbor, shall we?"

I got the best of my looks from my mom. She was gorgeous when she was young, not that she wasn't attractive now, in her early-fifties. A few years ago, we could have looked like sisters, but now her face was a little pudgier, as were her hips and thighs. Her big boobs - something she didn't pass on to me - finally started to sag, but she could still get away with not wearing a bra and still look presentable. We freckled in the sun the same way, had similar strawberry blond hair, and we had the same bright blue eyes. Her butt was bigger than mine, but it still looked good. Her legs still held nice curves and almost no cellulite. I hoped I would look as good as her in nineteen years.

Mr. Barker was asleep when we stepped into his semi-private room. The nurse said he'd been awake only moments ago. She apologized, and said that we could leave the gift basket on the tray table next to his bed if we didn't want to wait for him to wake up from his nap. His roommate, a man bandaged around his head, neck, and right shoulder, looked at us warily. His pain medication dosage may have been stronger than he needed.

I wondered if they had somehow over-medicated Mr. Barker the same way before his eyes suddenly popped open.

"Little Abby and her mom, come to visit me?" Jim said.

"We brought you a little gift basket to brighten your day, Jim," my mom said.

"The sight of the two of you is enough to brighten anyone's day," Jim said.

"You're too kind, Mr. Barker," I said. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Better than what?" Jim asked with a chuckle. "I don't think I'll ever feel better than I did that night at the bar."

I was standing slightly behind my mom when she asked, "What was so special that night, that got your heart beating so fast?" my mom asked. I stood behind her, shaking my head "no" and hoped he could tell from my eyes that I was pleading with him to not say what I thought he was going to say.

Jim processed my head movement and puppy dog eyes, and quickly said, "Just drinking with the boys and laughing so hard I guess I literally died laughing."

His roommate processed my head movement, too. He licked his lips lecherously. I rolled my eyes at him.

My mom let Jim Barker know that she had talked to the postman to let him know he was in the hospital, and then talked about the weather, my dad hitting a deer with his car, and a few other meaningless topics to fill a ten-minute visit. Jim listened intently, but occasionally looked my way and undressed me with his eyes. I'm sure my mom noticed.

"Well, Jim, you're not as young as you used to be," my mom said. "Maybe it's time you start acting your age," she added with a smile.

"I'll take it under consideration," Jim said, not even attempting to hide the small tent forming between his legs.

My mom pretended not to notice, and simply leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. She moved so quickly and gracefully, I barely noticed when she squeezed the lump between his legs before smoothing out his blanket.

I looked at his roommate and could see that he had moved his uninjured left arm under his blanket, and his hand was moving up and down around his groin, masturbating feverishly or pretending to be.

"Seriously?" I asked nobody in particular.

My mom gave Mr. Barker a smile, and then hooked an arm around mine and pulled me out of the room.

"I'm sure it was the drugs," my mom said.

The proper part of me was glad we walked out when we did, but the mischievous part of me wanted to stay, pull the blanket back, and see what the bandaged man was stroking. If it was a nice cock, maybe help him with it.

I was just as much a pervert as he was, and I wasn't even on drugs. As we walked to the hospital parking lot, I wondered what Jim might ask me for, in return for not divulging our transgressions to my mother.

Then, I wondered if he'd survive another heart attack.

Nothing more was said about Hall Passes until I dropped my mom off at my parent's house.

She finally asked, "So, did you cheat on Ron or are you just thinking about it?"

"It's complicated," I said.

"Well, trust me when I say that honesty is the best policy in any relationship," my mom said. "Little secrets tend to weigh couples down, so the less you have, the better. But if you decide to give Ron a Hall Pass, make sure he gives you one in return!" She smiled as if she wasn't serious, but I could tell from her eyes that she was.

"Thanks, mom," I said. "And, I promise to keep your secret."

"I know, Abby," my mom said seriously. "And I'll keep yours."

She gave me a kiss before getting out of the minivan, and seemed to add just a little more sway to her hips as she walked to her front door.

Ron had taken plenty undeserved Hall Passes over the past few years. First with his coworker, Linda, and then with his coworker, Jean. I knew about Linda after-the-fact, and I knew about Jean before-hand. Not that we were keeping score, but I figured I had dozens more unspent Hall Passes left after Ron's little escapades.

I planned on spending one, soon, with Mort, one of the finer gentlemen at the bar where Mr. Barker had his now-infamous heart attack.

~~~

If anyone was asked to describe me, they would probably say I was small, cute, pretty, but not at all sexy. During high school, while all the other girls grew a few more inches taller and gained some weight by the time they were eighteen, I stopped at 5' 2" and 100 lbs. When the other girls were going up a bra size or two, I stopped at an A/B cup, depending on the style of bra or swimsuit. Years later, I more than filled a B cup bra both times I was pregnant with my two kids, but my boobs went back to their usual small size soon after giving birth. Luckily, I married a "butt and legs" man.