Dear Diary

Like most women, I like to keep a diary, noting down day to day events as they happen so that they jog my memory or allow me at a future date, to remember special occurrences. Mine is nowadays kept online, away from the prying eyes of my husband and family and documents episodes in my life and my thoughts. It is something I have done since I was young, back then, they were actual diaries, unfortunately, they had to be destroyed years ago, for fear of implicating people that I loved. This is not my complete diary, more or less extracts from it, as nobody wants to read the normal rubbish we females tend to write.

Dear Diary

Thu 2^nd Dec 2021: The decision has been made. After last year's imprisonment, Tom, and I are heading south this year to spend the festivities with mostly his family. In the past, we would visit regularly, but it is now three years since we last went down. The pandemic coupled with our age has had an impact with neither of us looking forward to the six-hour journey from where we live in the north.

This weekend I phoned Doris, Tom's sister, and she is going to look in at the apartment and make sure it is aired before we arrive. We bought it years ago and used to use it often when we visited. Its location is perfect, set back several hundred yards on the opposite side of the road from the cliff edge and the beach below, it has great views out to sea. Nowadays we allow friends and family to use it or even let it out occasionally for holidays, even though we are not supposed to. Perhaps the time is coming when we sell it. With us both getting on, I can't see us getting much more use out of it sadly.

I spent all of Friday wrapping presents that need to go with us as well as washing and ironing. Can never tell what the weather will be like or where we may get invited to, so a range of clothing is needed. Hate this part of the run-up to Christmas, so much to do before the big day. It's only five more days before we head south, hope the weather stays mild for us while we make the journey. Once we are there it can do what it likes. A couple of stops on the motorway and splitting the driving between us will make the journey easier.

Sun 19^th Dec 2021: Early start in the morning so I'm scribbling this before we turn in. Tom's doing the driving on the first leg of the journey and I'll do the second. It's safer that way, the closer he gets to his origins, the faster he drives. A pensioner at his age doing ninety on the motorway isn't the best combination.

Here at last. Despite it being three years, everywhere looks the same. Cases are unpacked and we had our first brews before friends and family started to call. It proved to be a hectic day with a constant parade of people coming and going Went out for a meal that evening, it seems over the years to have become a ritual on the day we arrive, everyone wanting to say their hellos and catch up on any gossip.

Wow! Andrew our grandson called around today to say hello. His mother Janet, our daughter, married a young bloke in the forces and when he came out they settled down south near Tom's family. I've known Andrew all of his life and on our frequent trips down I've watched him grow up. He's twenty-two now and suddenly seems to have gone from an awkward teenager to a handsome young man. He is, I've decided, a bit of a flirt, Tom was nipping out to see one of his brothers and my grandson invited me out for a walk, just a short stroll along the cliff tops. Despite the milder weather, it was a bit blustery and I ended up taking his arm. It's funny how comfortable and thrilling it felt to be on the arm of this young man. At one point we stopped to gaze out to sea and he stood behind me to shield me from the chilly offshore breeze as I snuggled in against him and felt his arms around my waist. It was all perfectly innocent I told myself, except I noticed the slight bulge down below as we parted and headed back to the apartment. I hadn't been able to feel anything because of the bulk of my coat, but it appeared that he'd enjoyed having me close to him. Now I wouldn't say I do anything out of the ordinary to keep myself fit, although I do like walking. Yes, I'm getting on a bit but I'm still slim and all the bits are still in the right place, and in good working order, even if some do tend to sag nowadays. Surely he couldn't be finding me interesting in that way?

Thoughts on yesterday. It felt strange but also exciting as I wonder if I was turning my grandson on. He knows nothing much about my previous life, other than what his grandfather can tell him, and that's very little. I've told plenty of little white lies over the years.

I began an incestuous relationship many, many years ago, first with a cousin and then moved on to my brothers. You could say I've been around the block quite a few times, but it was exciting and fun and I have never once regretted what I've done. I've been married several times and had more than my fair share of affairs, but for quite a few years now, I have behaved myself. Whatever it is, something about that walk yesterday has ignited old desires!!!

Tom and I had a drive out to drop the presents off to different members of his family ready for tomorrow and have a catchup with the relatives. We are all meeting at Janet's tomorrow for Christmas lunch, unfortunately, Andrew was out today when we called so I missed seeing him. Janet said she needed to speak to us while we are down here, but said it will wait until after Christmas is over.

Sat 25^th Dec 2021 Christmas Day: What a day, I'm exhausted as well as pissed. You must excuse the handwriting diary. The morning and afternoon were excellent even if it was a little boozy. Andrew of course was there and I've decided that he is a naughty boy. He started plying me with drinks the moment Tom and I arrived. Lunch was a splendid affair if somewhat noisy and I ate far too much. Andrew suggested a walk for a breath of fresh air mid-afternoon, to which everyone declined except muggins here.

Once out and alone, his arm was quickly around my waist as we strolled together. 'People will get the wrong idea,' I told him. He seemed completely unperturbed as he hugged me closer. 'Let people think what they want. I like the feel of you next to me.' I must admit that it put a spring in my step as well as a tingle in my fanny. Can he even imagine what I'm thinking, if he did, would he run a mile?

Christmas night and Janet's was bulging at the seams. Everybody was tipsy and giddy, silly games being played, followed by loud music and dancing, Andrew insisted several times and it felt nice being pressed against him. As usual at these affairs, never enough chairs to go around and so ended up sitting on his lap in one of the armchairs. His hands never touched anywhere inappropriate, it was just the feel of them on my upper thighs and occasionally my stockinged legs. At one point he asked, 'Are you comfortable? Nothing poking into you?' I couldn't help myself when I replied, 'Unfortunately, not yet.' The look on his face was sublime, I could just tell that if the house had not been full of guests, he may have plucked up the courage to say something more.

Got a Christmas night shag, but only from Tom. After flirting all evening with Andrew, I was wet and rampant. Remember now why I don't drink very often, at least not to excess, thumping head this morning. Went to Doris's at lunchtime; some of the family were there again. Didn't want to ask beforehand if Andrew would be there and make it sound obvious. Finding that I'm thinking about him quite a bit at the moment, makes me feel excited. Thankfully he was. Cold and wet outside so had to forgo a walk but felt his eyes on me all afternoon.

Andrew came and picked us up after Christmas and Boxing day, he said his mum Janet had a request. Apparently, he has finished university and has been offered a job in the city about twelve miles from where Tom and I live. Janet asked if he could stay with us until he finds his feet and gets himself a flat. Being only the two of us we have plenty of room and the thought of having Andrew that close had me wanting to jig around the lounge. The look on his face when we said yes was one of pure mischief and satisfaction. Pretty certain that he has designs on me once he moves north, he doesn't realise yet what he is letting himself in for, I'm going to eat him alive.

Fri 31^st Dec 2021 New Year's Eve: Don't know why, but found myself making a special effort. Yes, I do, Andrew. We all went out to a posh dinner and dance and I wanted to look good for him. Don't get me wrong, I love Tom. But after many years of being a good girl, I'd forgotten what the excitement feels like when you're thinking of doing something you shouldn't. If I say so myself and even if I am old, I can still look sexy. After dinner and once the dancing started, Andrew seemed to be pulling me up quite often. Tom's not a dancer, more a "prop up the bar fella" especially when he's with his family.

With alcohol flowing and midnight closing in, I found it difficult to miss the erection that kept pressing against my mound. Should I have said something or not? Decided not to at that point. Drink tends to loosen my tongue however and any inhibitions I may have, quickly disappear, (they are very few). As we celebrated a New Year, I was pressed against him once more and asked if I was the cause of what I could feel. The music was too loud to hear his answer properly, but I definitely heard what sounded like, "bed". Unfortunately, after that, the evening quickly came to an end leaving me with damp panties and a torturous lust for my grandson. 'Jesus fucking Christ, I want to shag him!!!'

Got a New Year shag, again only Tom, and again because I was feeling sexual. Andrew seems to have been a constant while we have been visiting. Only a few more days before we head home. Left hubby watching television while Andrew and I went out for a walk. His arm was quickly around my waist, he seems to like that close contact, and I'm sure I do. I asked if he was looking forward to coming to stay with us. His reply of, 'I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more of you,' was accompanied by a gaze that went from my face, down my body and then back up again. I couldn't help myself as I joked, 'Play your cards right buster and you may get to see more than you anticipated.'

It feels like we are admitting to something but without actually declaring our intentions or desires. I'm sure he wants to fuck me, does he know or realise yet, that I want him to fuck me? I wanted to kiss him, I wanted him to kiss me, but there were too many people about and I don't think he is yet ready to take that final step and admit to what he is after. Wait till I get him up north.

More visiting today, Monday, last chance before we set off for home tomorrow. Didn't see anything of Andrew yesterday, telling myself that I must be careful. Once Tom and I are home and then Andrew joins us, things will be a lot easier. I hope!!!

Tue 4^th Jan 2022: Short and sweet I'm afraid diary. Back home at last. The journey seemed endless. I dozed in the car for a while, my mind full of thoughts about this young man who is going to be part of our life for the next few months. My perverted imagination means I have constant damp knickers as I dream about him doing things to me. This part of any relationship, waiting for it something to begin is always the worst, be glad when he finally gets here. He's driving up on Saturday and then starts work on the 12^th, all about induction nowadays. Never like that when I was young, you turned up and started working.

The past few days have dragged but I've been kept busy catching up with our local family and washing the clothes we used. Tomorrow is the day, feeling quite anxious and excited, can't wait for him to arrive. I will have to be extra cautious and don't do anything silly which would give the game away. This time of year Tom's mostly at home, in summer he's out fishing or playing bowls, I will have to see what I can arrange. I hope the attraction is still there with Andrew, if it is, then I'm going to entice him into my bed.

Found it hard to stop fidgeting and clock watching. Janet rang to say Andrew had set off around about ten so should be here about four o'clockish depending on the traffic. It was nearer five when he arrived and thankfully dark outside. I opened the door and waited just inside, wet and bitterly cold out there. Tom took his small case up to the spare room and Andrew brought in the bigger one. I had expected a kiss on the cheek, what I got was a quick peck on the lips which immediately started the juices between my legs flowing and made my nipples hard and tingly.

I must admit it took my breath away as he quickly put some distance between us and gave me a mischievous look. Have we in a way, just signed a contract, do we both know what we intend to do and is it now just a question of when or is he simply a tease? Good job Tom's here because I would be undressing this good looking young man by now. I desperately want to have sex with him.

Sun 9^th Jan 2022: Took the opportunity to show Andrew around town. We all three went out together just so he could get his bearings as to where things are situated. After lunch, we did the drive out to where he will be working so that he knows the route and certain shortcuts to avoid the traffic. Tom dropped us at home and nipped up to the off-licence for some beers, took the chance to lay the law down to our new lodger so that there are no mishaps.

He looked quite shocked at first because I was quite brazen about what I thought his intentions were and how I might respond if I was correct. I've told him no messing about when Tom is nearby and in the house. He should continue to call me gran at home and out and about, but he can call me by my name when we are alone. There were other things but I'm not going to list them, suffice to say that we have to be careful.

This is a dangerous time. I'm sure we have both consented to eventually have sex with each other but I'm hoping there will be plenty of teasing before that happens. If the past is anything to go by, that's when trouble can arise. You get carried away, hormones running amok, and you end up taking risks. No way I want us getting caught before I even get Andrew into bed.

It's his first day at work tomorrow. Nothing to report I'm afraid diary, with the weather wet and miserable we have all been stuck indoors. There has been no opportunity even for a bit of teasing. I did go for a short stroll with him today, in between showers, and he of course had lots of questions. It seems, he told me blushingly, I have been his fantasy for the last few years. He considers me fit and sexy. I like the compliments and being told I'm sexy. He said that I surprised him at Christmas with my attitude and the way I behaved. He'd imagined that nothing would ever come of his desires and was initially shocked when I seemed to be up for it.

Finding it quite frustrating, harder than I imagined. Andrew is at work during the day and Tom took him down to the local tonight for a pint. The teasing has started at least. Tom and I normally retire early during the week and watch tv in bed; he had gone up and I was in the kitchen washing up some cups. Andrew appeared in there and quickly took his chance by squeezing my arse. The kiss was fantastic, with instant arousal as my mouth worked against his. There was no missing his erection as he grabbed my buttocks and pulled me tightly against it. He didn't touch me anywhere else and it had to be quick, but my body was buzzing by the time I went upstairs.

Fri 14^th Jan 2022: Tonight we have been down the social club for a few hours and tomorrow, my plans which were to get him alone while Tom is at the football, have been scuppered as he's invited Andrew to join him. I'm struggling at the moment, the anticipation about the forthcoming sex fills my head. I seem to be wandering around in a daze, my body starting to make demands with my nipples constantly erect and having to change my knickers regularly as they seem to be permanently damp. Thankfully Andrew has behaved impeccably, treating me like he has always done when Tom's around. The moment he's out of the way for a few minutes though, he's rubbing his erection against me. Got my first sense of it when Tom nipped out yesterday evening, I could feel it throbbing against my hand when I rubbed at his bulge through his trousers. It felt huge and powerful, my fanny pulsing at the thought of having it inside me.

Andrew also got his first feel of my tits. Wish I'd known Tom was nipping out, I'd have lost my bra so that he could cop a proper handful, 'Jesus, he nearly made me cum!' When his hand cupped my breast and squeezed, I could feel my legs turning to jelly. The kissing that accompanied our groping was frantic, grunts and moans of pleasure with our lips pressed together and our hands exploring.

I've said that this is the most dangerous point, and it is, my mind was already calculating if we had the time to have sex. All other thoughts were being dismissed as I was considering whether we could manage it on the dining table while Tom was out. It was only my age and sensibilities that saved the day as I stopped us from doing anything further just before I heard Tom's key in the door. It's that scary part afterwards that brings you to your senses, my heart was going like the clappers for a while and I was desperate that Tom didn't notice that I was flushed.

What a waste of a day, Tom and Andrew are at the football currently and then after tea, we are going down to the social club again. We normally go every Friday and Saturday, meet up with friends and indulge in the local gossip. Then it's the highlight of the evening with a few games of bingo before the cabaret act comes on and then dancing later. I told Andrew this morning he could venture out on his own if he wished, no need to accompany us geriatrics. He has decided to join us anyway, not like he knows anyone around here yet.

UPDATE: 'Thank you, God. I promise to be good again..... after Andrew.' At the club tonight Tom was reminded by Eddie that there is a fishing match in the morning. He gave me that look that said, 'Do you mind?' I smiled sweetly, 'do I mind?' Of course, I didn't fucking mind. It means he'll normally be up and out of the house by six o'clock in the morning and not back until after dinner. My mind has been alive all evening with possibilities. I haven't told Andrew, he's going to get a surprise in the morning.

Sun 16^th Jan 2022: I faked being asleep when I felt Tom getting up and dressed. Bless him, he tries to be as quiet as possible but does blunder around a bit in the shadows cast by the bedside lamp. When the bedroom door closed my eyes were open, my heart beating loudly. I heard him out at the shed retrieving his stuff and then eventually the sound of the car starting.

Bathroom first to wash my face and brush my teeth and then back to my room to apply a little bit of slap, Yes, I'm vain! but need to make the most of what I've got. Quick check in the mirror and then lights off and five minutes for my eyes to become accustomed to the darkness. I tiptoed to Andrew's room and quietly let myself in and disposed of my robe. If Tom returns early I should hear the car in the driveway.

Slipped beneath the covers, Andrew was still asleep. Couldn't help breathing heavily, lying naked next to my grandson. Allowed a few minutes to pass as I warmed up and it gave me chance to peer at him, although with no light, I couldn't see a lot. Resting my hand on his chest I felt my first eruption of arousal, his skin is so smooth and soft. Tom's chest is quite hairy while Andrew only has a smattering yet. I allowed my hand to move downwards slowly until I encountered his limp cock, another eruption of arousal as I finally got to wrap fingers around it and ease the skin down. Just stroking it softly seemed to work wonders, I'm sure I was panting as I felt it start to grow, getting longer and fatter in my hand until finally, I was grasping his full erection. 'Shit, it felt fucking magnificent!'