by kinky_starboy
Seriously, it was such a great plot you could have done wonders but u really make a mockery of it. Pathetic. I mean a foreigner comes n go straight for a massage with a unknown lady
The idea is very good.
I particularly liked the idea of British and Indian girls, there are hardly ever such stories.
The mistake is that the story is very fast and some things could be developed better, but I understand that they are things that with experience you can improve.
I encourage you to keep writing and that idea of a British girl and an Indian girl is interesting.