All Comments on 'Dirty Naked Poker'

Wow! What an awesome story! Hot as hell! One of the best I've ever read! MORE!

ever i had a headache then blame it on this story. So fucking confusing. I almost gave up and am sure i'm not coming back to lit for a few days just to nurse my head.

I couldn't get past the first few ?sentences? before I stopped reading this garbage!

Whatever you used to type this mess throw it out and buy another model/type.

Delete your account and do the readers on Lit a favor.

Bring on chapter 2

Hey garbage man, having only read the first few sentences you haven't a clue whether this was a good or bad story. Your opinion is completely irrelevant, baseless, and means nothing. When you don't know what you are talking about it's best to keep your mouth shut. It just puts your own ignorance on display. Hiding behind your anonymity like a troll.

Hey Spector. Well done! I seldom rank anything a 5. I gave this one a 5. I won't belabor the subject of what I liked about it here. You know what you wrote, everybody that read it knows what you wrote, I thought it was very good.

You have many directions for future relationships within that group. Such as Sam's future with one of the other girls, can Jason hang on to Kate or does he want to. It will be a fun read whatever you decide. You have a lot of dynamics to work with. Keep Writing.

Long time reader and honestly this story *although longer then usual stories* was amazing. Please continue to write and to not listen to the criticism.

The combination of sexual planning, context and general awesomeness of the story is wonderful.

People may rubbish my comment or your story but to those who will/do get it, it was fantastic.

(apologises for the ramble, hate for a good writer to get disheartened by any negativity, seen it before)

Look forward to chapter two

Really, and slamming others for daring to have a different opinion is relevant? On what fucking planet?

I enjoyed this selection. I especially loved the continuous comments and asides given to the reader, it felt like I was reading a Deadpool story. I look forward to reading chapter 2. Thank you.

and I fear the consequences of this little poker game will blow up a few of the friendships. It will be interesting to see where this goes next.

Regarding the problems with the text, I suggest a visit to the author Forum to ask what may have caused the formatting errors. It is probably something simple that others have encountered before.

What this - needÑthe drive to reproduceÑto - is, but please use a different punctuation mark. Gave the story 5 stars because it IS hot. Start the next chapter with Em cleaning Kate out with her tongue and all is forgiven.

You better write another story!

This is the best story I've read in months! Can't wait for part two!!

This was amazing! Though I got to say if I was in Emma's position instead of smiling ad all I really would be pissed off. Like the kind of pissed off that he fucked another girl and not me. Even though they really shouldn't. But that's the taboo. Haha. Anyways, I hope Emma and Jason get together, just because that's my fetish. But this was amazing nevertheless. Don't listen to those saying it was horrid.

For example, everyone getting ready for bed at 11PM. I've been in group settings like this (just less sexy), and if there's even a CHANCE of someone getting fucked, they will stay out till 5 or 6 am. So it kind of makes me question the actual age of the author. Also, those girls are nowhere near pissy enough. To eachother or to Sam. Also, for being drunk and high, no one acts drunk or high. Far too rational. Again, I question the author's age.

That said, it is sexy and I quite enjoyed it. I could really relate to Kirsten, and Ashley was fun and well developed *ba-dum-da-ching* I hope Jason and Emma hook up (maybe with Kirsten?) That could leave Sam jumping ship and Ashley and Kate together.

So yeah. Fun times. But fix your damÑ punctuation. That's a coding issue from wherever you c/p'd it from on your computer. The only way to fix it, unfortunately, is do go back line by line and correct each character.

And waiting for round Two. Just don't overdo it and keep it real(ish)

Absolutely one of the best stories on lit. Please keep them cumming

This is one of the best stories on here. I can't wait to see what come next, but have an idea of where this could go.

It was a little long and could be split into chapters plus the editing could have been better but otherwise, beautiful storytelling.

I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so many times!! Well written and very funny, great job!

There are two kinds of stories. The ones that are just there for a quick jerk, and then the ones with an actual story to tell, this one is definitely the former. I despise cheating. You can't start out a successful relationship by having his best friend cheat on her boyfriend right in front of him and do everything she's never done with him. I got what I wanted out of it, a quick jerk, but I won't be favoriting it and I doubt I'll be back for round 2.

If you can fix the relationship between Katie/Jason by making it more about feelings than the size of his cock, and she pays for having rejected him in the first place. Then I'll be interested in returning.

Ignore "IAintNoWriter", as it's right in the name. He obviously missed the introduction line where you noted 1] There was no real relationship btwn Sam towards Kate other that base attraction 2] The implication that Sam chose to date Kate and share intimate details with the guy who had a crush on her (best friend, so he should know that's not cool). This sets up the character personalities with Sam being a bit of a douche and Jason being a pushover.

Where you fell short is that you didn't describe Sam's body type at this point as well. The reader filled it in, so when you described him near the end, it was a bit jarring.

While the overall story was strong, with good humor and great attempt at writing complex characters, some of the themes were lacking:

1] Not enough sibling tension setup to warrant the cock-grab and passion at the end. Dropped a lot of hints and shared looks, but the physical touch and dependency near the end was unexpected. A good setup would have been the during the "childhood boat flashback" and mention seeing each other aroused and a shared gentle touch, that could have been more. Or expanding that initial awkward kiss/hug.

Emma was turned on the entire time, but without the initial context, I assumed she was bi and was aroused by the whole situation. Needed more subtle touching (they were sitting right next to each other!).

2] Kristen as a character is all over the place. As Emma's best friend as well as a freshman in the same college, the contrast between the two is a bit too stark. The fakeness and instigator accusation at the end was a decent attempt, but it would have been more interesting if during the game, she was playing a bit with Ashley (if Kate could see through the fake, Ashley would for damn sure be able to), as Ashley would be trying to seduce her. Less naive words and glaces to Jason and more touching.

To expand on that, she didn't interact with Ashley or Kate too much, which is odd because you implied people sat in certain seats for a reason? The only one that made sense was Jason and Emma (no direct eye contact) and Sam and Ashley (mutual attraction?).

3] Did not utilize the game to the fullest. (Check out author Tx Tall Tales - stories "Strip and Sip Poker" and "The Perfect Game") The whole point of these games is that there is no loser, so as a guy, why was he folding? Especially after he lost his clothes and got the positive looks. I know you were going for a single fuck in the story, but he could have dined at the Kristen Y? As a followup, not enough girl/girl stuff (kiss/finger/rub)in the buildup, even if you were keeping the orgasm count down, everyone could have been edging. Or you could have rotated which girl is the voice of reason as the most recently orgasmed.

The game was essentially high card, but you should have used blind man's bluff for more aggressive betting.

4] Additional misc: Ashley is bi and Kate is too? Why was there never a threesome between Sam/Kate/Ashley? Kate is selfish, so it makes total sense for her to setup a worship session and then Sam can get his bareback on (or at least finish inside a condom inside a lady). Lastly, the people didn't seem like they were having any actual fun, sexy or otherwise. Your humorous writing notwithstanding, it was difficult to believe that they all kept playing for so long, there was no enjoyment expressed in between naked touching.

Please don't be discouraged by the feedback, if it wasn't good, I wouldn't waste my time/energy writing a review. Overall, it was a very above average effort and I hope to see more of your work. Keep it up!

ruined by being way to long,and a load of crap ratings game he had with himself and please there's 4 woman 2 men & it took page 8 to 10 for anything real to happen drinking al night yet they don't get drunk get sober in fact

Loved it cant wait for round 2!

Damn a story has never made me cum so hard or cum so many times. I'm literally light headed from the 7th orgasm in only a couple hours. MOAR!!!;)

I need a cigarette and Jason needs his sister!

It's taken long enough: Where's chapter 2?!?!?!?!

Very, very hot finish. Felt like it took forever to get there, but sometimes those are the best. Can't wait for part II.

Great story. Nice set up with good, brief characterizations. The action was great. The story flowed easily from the characters and set up. I'm impressed, this was great and left me happy, and wanting more. Nice job!

I look forward to Part 2.

Great stuff, a lengthy build up to an unexpected and amazing conclusion! I hope to see more along these lines, or heck, fresh surprises may be even better, should you continue to write this one!

Very well told story. You have a definite gift for erotica. I hope you continue to write.

Extremely well done story! One of the few stories that doesn't just tell us, it shows us, in loving detail, and where the narrator's interjections not only don't stop the story, they enhance it. Also, one of the few (only?) erotic stories I've ever read that I found laugh out loud funny. Loved the characters, and loved the frequent ambiguity in their actions and reactions. And love that there's soooo much more to explore in Round 2!

It's now June 13th and I've been checking for a sequel everyday since chapter one came out. Don't leave us hanging much longer.

You Said it, is was a lengthy build up, but what a build up. I really like the way you insert funny comments into the story line, it really enhances the theme.

Very well done, enjoyable to the very end. A second part HAS to be in the offering.

Thanks

Handyman2

This is a top notch dirty story. The only thing that got me was the baby talk. I find it incredibly unsexy, maybe it's just me but in a lifetime of hookups, relationships, one night stands and dirty parties, I've never ONCE heard someone talk like that and seriously think it was hot.

Outside of that one complaint, this was amazing.

The attention to detail. The build up. The amount of thought put into it. All remarkable. I rarely comment on submissions. This is absolutely worthy of the praise it's getting. Hopefully chapter 2 isn`t far off. Thank you

and yet i took *days* to read it. You know when you burn through stories like wildfire and then something comes along that's so engrossing, you stop yourself, you pace out finishing it? You do it so you can savor it, so it will last longer. I didn't even realize I was doing it untill the last 4 pages.

I could have done with better descriptions of flesh revealed as they went through the game, maybee a detail or so more about the underwear each were wearing to put me 'as the reader' right there in the story. Perhaps something about facial expressions or a slight re-work of the overall game to better illuminate the 'strategy' of each person, and the blind-spot to them each. I'd love to hear a touch of back-story to Kate's icy relationship with sam, a brush-stroke of reason behind emma's smug expression in the final page, or maybe read on in voyeuristic glee as Ashly carries a plot to take what she was denied. Perhaps at a remote place where they anchor and sneak into a hot-tub at a sea-side thing a friend works at.

This story floundered, it sizzled, it was coy, the characters were evil, and resigned, and determined, and clueless (and some of them adorable for spates), and it swung back and forth between just the right touch of tease and denial and raunch.

... The only thing wrong about it, is that this is the only thing you've ever written.

There has to be a second chapter. When when when will it come out? I've been waiting for months hoping it happens. Just cut down on the baby talk

I don't comment on stories, or rate them, as most are OK but nothing worth thinking about once the pages stop. This piece though was amazing. You don't draw it out needlessly, but it wasn't rushed. There was a mix of emotions, high and low, but you switched between them without either being ignored. I don't know when Part 2 will be posted, but I will sacrifice whatever any god demands to see it published.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

Excellent story and writting.

Dear lord... that was fantastic. Make it so. Make it so now! We beg you.

I've been a reader here for a few years. In that time, I've read some great stories but never before have I felt compelled to make comment. This story, however..

Brilliant piece of writing. Loved it

Top job

That was a fucking story... I had work to do tonight to... Looks like I'll be getting up early..excellent job..

I hope chapter 2 will be as good as chapter 1.

This story is awesome, congratulations.

That story was fucking awesome! I really do hope you continue writing!

the only annoying thing about the story is how much of a cunt SAM is thinks he can go fuck girls himself but when its the other way round spits his dummy out... that guy should leave in the morning!

I've been reading here for years but never commented before. Had to this time though to say great job! Aside from minor issues one of the best pieces of erotica I've read.

Seriously... one word... DAMN!!!

By far the hottest piece of erotica I've ever read and I've read my fair share

When is the next one

I await the sequal with baited breath this was an awesome story he never got his sister by the rest was worth it the suspense was awesome the writing was great I saw myself on the boat it was awesome

More of this great, great story please !

Plz bring up rd 2 with all that plus the aftermath of rd 1

Hey there folks.

This is just a quick note (for those who check such things) that part 2 is FINALLY finished and should be posted soon!

Thanks to everyone for all the kind words and constructive criticisms. I hope you'll enjoy the conclusion to Dirty Sexy Poker

- Spec

Hey there,

Really enjoyed this first part, seeing the second one on the front page brought me in. I think you hit some really great notes and themes in the Strip Poker style of story that other people (including myself) deal with a little more lightly. The indecision, the varied character ideas of sex, the frustration and even guilt; they were all very well done. I'll be reading Part 2 with great interest.

I guess my two notes of criticism would be that, firstly, I really suggest getting an editor for grammar/spelling. Your content and plot is on point for Lit, but there were a lot of little things like missing S's on She (turning them into He) and a few formatting issues that were distracting. Even with an editor these things slip through, but it can really help cut down. If you already were using an editor, well, maybe a third pair of eyes that is specifically looking for the little things.

My second item was originally Kate's sudden development of a pregnancy fetish (or whatever you want to call it - the not using a condom/risking pregnancy.) I felt like it was too dramatic a turn and it wasn't supported, but as I wrote it I realized that it wasn't the turn itself but rather the dialogue in the scene. The same applies to the Emma hand-holding scene. I suggest toning it down just a bit - not too much mind - and letting your characters be a bit more private in the moment as well. The really dirty stuff, the 'I want my brother' or 'Come inside me' kind of revelations, are private and scary and would fit better as a whisper in the ear once or twice as punctuation instead of rambling/yelling.

Overall, great story. Looking forward to reading Part 2. If you want to talk shop on writing give me a shout.

~Break.

I really liked the depth of this story. Great attention to detail, and lots of well timed hilarity. My only criticism us the amount of grammar errors. They really slowed the reading down. Killer story otherwise.

I loved the slow build-up and the fantastic ending to this chapter. Thanks for sharing!

RecHiker

I wish I could give this story a ten. It is hard to believe this is a first story by this author. I like how you have created many different and interesting characters. Most of all, I enjoyed your humor that was just right and just enough. I look forward to chapter Two and future stories that I hope you will write.

I don't like to read long stories generally so thanks for warning us up front that it was long. I kept reading to see how you handled all the different personalities and you did that very well. It really couldn't have been any shorter. The buildup kept us on the edge of our seats and our hands in our crotches. I still have sore balls! That's a compliment. Yes, the spelling and grammar was annoying but I learned how to ignore it. Please use real commas next time and review several times before posting. Hey, anyone who can work "Biv-Whacked" into a porn story deserves a "5". Can't wait to read the next chapter.

This is the best story I've ever read on this site.

It might have been a long story, but it kept my interest. And kept me stroking for all 10 pages. That doesn't happen often. Thanks..

This is one of- no my number one favorite short stories.

Seriously, this one is awesome.

I mean, seriously, how shallow and heartless could a girl get. I feel sorry 4 Sam tho. Kate deserves death by hanging. God! I felt depressed at the end but nice story and writing technique man. U r a star

A decade of visiting Literotica, and I find the best story. Even. Heck I haven't ever commented till now. Nor have a read anything more then 3 pages. You are brilliant.

I read a lot of stories. Probably more than is healthy. Some were okay, some were really good. And now they're all ruined. None can hold a torch to this. I could eulogies about the story, the writing, the humour. I could expound on the depth of character that all of the protagonists have been given. I won't though. I'll just offer my deepest and most sincere thanks for this wonderful, wonderful story. Thanks. :)

Wow.

I'd lost this years ago and found this on story spinner.

THANK YOU!

Everything about this is so, fucking hot. Also the characters make sense. The story makes sense. The reactions make sense.

In short, you're a legend keep it up.

Really hot story but not sure it should have been tagged as incest. Read the authors forward but whilst the siblings Jason and Emma had an obvious attraction to each other there wasn't any sex between them, so technically not an incest story.

Still fucking a hot story.....

Great story and I can't wait for part 2. I don't care what classification it is in. I'm just glad I found it. I don't like the getting preggers idea though.

This group swims all day in bikinis (I assume) but 3 pages about them taking their socks off? Sorry, life is too short.

10 fucking pages and not a single instance of brother and sister fucking or sucking each other. And the only instance where they’re talking dirty to each other made no sense because up until then nothing suggested they would do anything like that in front of the others. This story was a giant waste of time. I don’t even give a fuck if they do have sex in the 2nd part; it’s not worth it.

Haters gonna hate but I for one thought it was an excellent submission. I think you were going for the tense vibe as the game went on, that it became less about getting laid and more about pushing their individual agendas. And the humor was well worth sifting through some of the glaring formatting errors. Thanks for writing.

Format errors aside, I thought it was a great read. Love Jason's running commentary too. One point of criticism would be to lessen the commentary during the sexy stuff, It's good when they play the game and stuff but I'd rather NOT read a paragraph of it in the middle of the eating out, dry hump, and fucking. Leaking faucets, lamps and big "on" switches have there place. Also, you could have found a better place for the Kate Jason back story. Early on I thought she was just Sam's girlfriend and it took too long to find out she was more. Lastly since this is in the Incest category their should have been more there. I get he has the hots for his sister even if he doesn't want to admit it even to himself, but some looks, some light touching, and naughty talk does not make it incest. I'm sure it will be remedied in the next chapter and it's best to keep them all in same category but just the same maybe you could have found a way to insert more than you did.

You are a good writer: the comedy and words flow like a charm, you also have an undestanding of how to arise lust and get the reader invested in your characters, but... what stops you from being a great writer to me is too fucking much preamble and not enough delivery.

Firstly this is in no way an Incest/Taboo story, the protagonist and Emma did not really do anything and i know you were trying to extend it to a second part but thats just not good, you did not delivered to your reader: they where not here for Kate.

Secondly you drag on and on the suspense for too long, 10 pages?! And you want me to read a second part??!!! Without delivering for point 1????!!!! Hell no. Its good to build off intrigue but you hauled the tension for so long that it dissipated by the end, the last three pages felt like a chore or homework.

Thirdly you put too much strees on suspension of disbelief, i had have my very little share of wild romps not unlike the one in your story and i have seen them fucking break no matter the amount of booze for far lighter shit than what this bunch just faced, emotions are crazy and powerful, its just not credible.

And lastly all the sympathy one can develop to the protagonist just vanishes as he just keeps putting himself over everybody (does not matter what his sis said at the ending, he was not being the perfect host); has the pretty old cliche of the perfect cock and is not really moving things forward, its as if he was just the receptacle of luck as if some unseen but definitely pervasive hand just wrote his story.

All in all its a good story, a three star story and i congratulate you and hope you keep writing as good (however i will personally not read it if it has more than 5 pages).

Cheers!

First, i agree with most of the comments (criticisms and kudos) made in Anonymous' "Almost" commentary, though with less bite and greater intent to help you improve.

I forced myself to read the entire story, though in all honesty, that shouldn't have been necessary. There are literally millions of sites and resources that will give us humorous stories that are well-written and have well-developed characters. We come to Literotica for the salacious and erotic escapes from reality THESE stories provide. This chapter took far to long to get there.

But you ARE a very good writer and while this story did not merit a 5 star rating, it deserved more than a 3.

I'm torn as to whether I will take the time to read your 2nd chapter. If I do, I won't likely make it beyond page 2 if it is written as this one was.

Please keep on writing and sharing with us but keep the constructive criticisms in mind. :-)

X-Man

found the story engaging and despite being 10 pages it moved at an excellent pace keeping interest. Nice balance of humor, excitement, and anticipation. Looking forward to reading chapter 2 in next couple days.

thanks again

I don't think people say things like "peepees in my puss" while they're cumming. It's pretty silly stuff

... except for the Ñ that kept popping up (copy this to word and do an adv. find and replace. That will correct that problem.) and needed proofreading, this was a great story.

It's hard to categorize a story that has different ... fetishes... but I'm not concerned with that.

I had no problem with the length of the story. I prefer a longer story at a time instead of having to go thru several 2 -3 page sections. That is annoying to me and I don't know why authors do that.

I got confused... a bit... during the card play, but that's probably because I'm old.

I'm headed to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing.

The good: Fun humor. Sexy descriptions of characters. Some hot sex scenes. Well written throughout and had a genuinely likable pov character.

The bad: Distracting "Ñ" character throughout story. Took too long to deliver. "peenie" and "peepee" are not at all reasonable words for a sexually excited H.S. graduate... more to the point they were a real turn-off when the ultimate sex scene she shouldn't talk like a 4 yr old during sex, it's disturbing and dropped any hope of a finish from this story.

Loved it! Yes the N stuff was weird but i am dyslexic enough to read right through it.

This line was awesome! "I had to kiss my best friend, on the lips," Kristen was close to tears now, "I'm going to hell because of this stupid game. I didn't get to back out. What makes you think you can?"

great way to push the narrative along. Great! One thing i did not like: "It's late. I'm tired. We're all tired. My buzz is almost gone...." Yeah, tired post drunk is super not sexy for me, and we weren't even halfway through the story

What am amazing story!

A simple proofread would have caught the "N's" place of the spaces, and a few other minor typos. Remarkable none the less.

who believes that you cannot exist and have an enjoyable life without drugs.

Thanks for the story. Lots of hot moments. I really enjoyed the characterization, dialogue, behaviors, and descriptions of Emma and Ashley in particular. The speaker was a little too juvenile for my tastes at times, though I read his worse moments charitably as tongue-in-cheek. Kate and Sam hurting each other with the game was painful to behold in a fun way. I want to see the fallout from that though I'm hoping against hope that there's some kind of neutral-to-happy ending. Sam may be a shit lover but he doesn't seem like any worse of a person than the speaker (whose main redeeming quality in comparison seems to be dick size?). It's sad to see friendships ruined, and, while I don't mind the drama—and it does lend itself indelibly to the conflict and urgency of the chapter—I'd really like to see a mature resolution.

I have to agree with other commenters that some of the childish dirty talk was immersion-breaking... but for the most part you have spun a compelling and fluid yarn. I look forward to chapter 2.

holee!

magnificent, your best yet

20/10, Boy what happened next!!!

Don't know about the story - I couldn't cope with all the " Ñ " liberally sprayed through the first few paragraphs.

You've tried the writing - now learn to proof-read!

The story was good , but whatever word processor you use is fucking up your story. All the strange characters ( Ñ ) showing up in your story just fucked it up. Proofread your story in a different program before posting.

Anony Mous

Great build up to a great climax! Excellent character development though a fairly short story. Wonderfully done!

Well written, great characters, amazing plot twists and turns, lots of conflict as well as lots of hot sex. One of my favorite stories of all time.

if you read the comments on your older stories. This one is just over the top good! I saw it was ten pages (groan) but it grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go! Great story, S.D.! Headed over to read part two!

Pretty fuckin hot but hard to read with all the weird characters everywhere.

I adored to use of conflict and tension here. It might be the best I have seen in any literotica story. This the kind of energy I need to bring into the project I'm currently working on. Nice character development too. Everyone felt suitably unique and the interactions were organic.

great story. it really is. it's just a bit..........flowery in places

Oh my god. This was one of the best stories I've ever read, ever. This was such a good read I actually enjoyed the dialogue more than the erotic parts. This was such a funny, exciting, enchanting story, I want to read it as actual literature. Brilliant work as ever!

Amazing!!! 😀

Great story.

Jason is a great guy and friend. Must have been shy and timid with girls in school. But always cared about others.

Sam is just a cheeky prick. Stayed close to Jason in high school because of his kindness and unassuming nature. And right away he took advantage of his friend's weakness, not wanting to hurt his friend, claiming "rights" to the girl Jason liked. Though he probably didn't have a relationship with her at the time. And then stayed close to Jason to show his superiority over him. Here I fuck that Ketty. And you and your big dick are flying by. He's a bad lover, but he doesn't learn but tells the girl she's bad herself and insults her in front of Jason. Asshole.

Even in a card game he tries to humiliate Jason.

Kate just made a mistake. She must have believed Sam that Jason wasn't interested in her as a partner and agreed to go out with him. But subconsciously she feels it's a mistake and won't let him without a condom. Not even a hand job. Subconsciously she associates Sem with a condom as an inanimate rubber phalom that cannot give her satisfaction. She is not fregid. She cum from masturbation and with Ashley. But she can't with her mistake, she can't with Sem.

Emma is a real loving sister. She knows her brother well. Knows his weaknesses and therefore does not allow him to make a mistake again, to miss the girl he loves again. Go and get yours, you will understand everything.

But Emma also loves Jason. And she wants to take what's hers, too. It's just not the time yet.

It's Jason's time.

It's not often I leave a comment, but this was so good. The prolonged arousal of characters really does it for me. I'm not sure what you used to type this, but it was quite easy to ignore the weird characters and joining of words. Can't wait to start chapter 2 in a minute.

It was good, really good...up to a point, and then it was too much. Should have wrapped it up a few pages earlier.

That was amazing. I am pretty sure you read that over and over, but it was AMAZING.

I actually deflated when Sam had his way, like the rest of the characters. Amazing feat of writing, man. Congratulations.

The dialogue in the final scene wasn’t hot, it was distracting. Also, you put clothes back on Emma TWICE after she was nude.

Otherwise, it was an enjoyable story.