Eloise

"You gonna do the same for me now?" he asked lightly.

Laughing, I yanked my underclothes off, then climbed up on the bed and stood up, then turned for him like he had for me.

"Mmmm, you're perfect, El," he rumbled, moving closer. "Every tiny little inch," he went on, reaching out and pulling me close to him. Hugging me to his chest, he looked down at me from an inch away. "Thank you for making an old man happy."

"Me?!? Thank you for making me happy! And saving me and keeping me warm and safe! And last night... last night was... it was the most wonderful thing to happen to me in my whole life. Until today and finding out it was you all along! Today... Thank you, Buel. I know it's partly because he lied to me and..."

"No. None of it was because of him. El, my heart was aching when I knew you were his and he was gonna have ya. That whole ride back, you budged up into my back, then snugged next to me as you talked to us... There was nothin' in this world I wanted more than to just tell Colt to find him someone else, I wanted to keep you for my own. When he took off... I was mad at him and sad for you, sure, but I also saw my chance and I took it. I brought you in here with me and pretended it was about making you feel safe when really it was just so's I could sleep next to ya every night. Keep ya close and dream of ya'n pretend you was mine. Then when... when I found out he had him a partner already. Someone he loved all along... I felt petty damn shitty for how happy I was even when I could see how upset it made ya. I was so anxious to get my hands on ya... get my arms around ya and comfort ya... Eloise, there is nothing about this that is me feelin' forced in any way. Mostly I feel bad that maybe you might've felt like you was obligated to humor an old man! But the way you look at me," he grinned. "I ain't got no doubts at all you just said yes ta have a place ta fit in. I do have one concern, though."

"You do?" I asked, my joyous mood sinking slightly at his suddenly serious demeanor.

"You realize yer a ma to your brother now, right?" he asked in mock concern.

I broke out in giggles, hiding my face in his chest as he chuckled.

"You realize more'n half your kids now is older'n you? N'ya have grandkids now ta boot. That all gonna sit well with you?"

"Hush!" I laughed, then pulled back, pulling him into the bed with me.

He climbed in, grinning as he laid me down and leaned over me. "You're beautiful, El," he told me, half choking up as his eyes rimmed red. "Am I a selfish old man for not letting Ben court ya and try'n bring ya around?"

"No! No, it's not him I ever wanted. Even if it wasn't you, it wouldn't be him! I don't feel that kinda way about him."

"I saw how he was when he looked at you, El... he woulda been good to ya. You touched his heart and the things he said... about why he wanted ya. He woulda done right by ya even if he wasn't warm about it and he was more blunt and abrasive than my other boys. If... if the time comes and you hafta bury me, El... you should consider him if he still wants ya."

"That won't ever happen! Don't talk like that!" I cried, terrified to even think of that.

"I ain't a young man'n the mountain is a hard life on anyone."

"Not the way you all work together! You all make it easy up here staying close and working together! You aren't going anywhere!" I told him angrily. "You just try it and see if I don't come after you and haul you right back here to sit at the head of the table!"

He chuckled again, then leaned in and kissed me. My fears and touch of anger fled immediately as I kissed him in return and we lay just kissing softly and holding on to each other.

Soon, his giant hand slid down from caressing my jaw and went to my shoulder, then in to my ribs before he gripped my breast in his hand with a purr of appreciation as he kissed me more deeply.

Pulling out of the kiss, he eased down and kissed a trail down my shoulder to my other breast, licking and sucking and pulling until I was writhing and moaning.

"Buel?" I whispered as he switched back to the other for the third time. "I want you!"

"I know, El," he grinned, then kissed between my collarbones and started another trail of kisses all the way down my ribs to my belly and further. When he pushed my legs wide, I moved them eagerly for him, already so thrilled and excited that I was going to need little convincing for my body to do as it had done last night.

Buel growled euphorically when he found me already wet and ready for him, his tongue tasting me as he rolled it around and flicked my bud.

"You been thinkin' on this?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that made me sigh.

"Yes! All day long! I been wantin' this again!"

"And tomorrow?"

"And the next day and the next forever on after!" I agreed, my fingers sliding into his hair as he toyed with me. "You're makin' me crazy, Buel! Stop teasing me!"

His dark chuckle sent goosebumps along my spine. "El, this is how I need ya for a bit, relaxed and ready for me. I take care of your needs once it's all done," he promised, moving up to kiss my lips again before pulling me down lower on the bed. "I bring ya now and your body'll be too closed off for me. I need ya supple'n open for what needs doin now. El... it may hurt some, but I'll do my best not to hurt you too badly."

"I know!" I told him, trembling with excitement now. "It's ok," I promised, stroking his arm as he reached down with his other hand to take hold of his own cock.

When he pressed the tip to my slit and rolled it through the wetness there, I steeled myself and held my breath, wrapping a leg around his waist as best I could to get a better angle.

"Mmm," he purred happily, prompting me to quickly wrap my other leg around him as well. I loved hearing him sounding so pleased! "My good girl," he whispered softly, pressing his cock to my entrance. "Be ready."

I could only nod, my heart hammering in my chest now as I bit my lower lip in anticipation.

Pushing his hips in as he guided himself, I sucked in a harsh breath when his cock spread me open painfully. He grunted slightly and paused, trying to push in further gently. He pushed harder and harder as I grimaced until finally there was a stinging and sharp snap and he plunged in all the way suddenly, breaking through whatever had been stopping him. I let out a small cry, then grit my teeth to stay quiet as he went still, panting.

"Didn't mean for that to happen," he managed, his voice strained. "I was tryin' ta be easy and it just gave all at once!"

"It's fine!" I told him quickly, trying not to sound as full of pain as I was. "Don't stop!"

"Give me a moment," he managed, still sounding strained. "You're... you need to ease up for me. Relax a little. You have me in a grip that's hard ta get out of."

I nodded, trying to force my body to relax while still gritting my teeth at the thick, long, painful intrusion.

"You feel perfect," he whispered, trying to ease back slightly. "Oh, my girl!" he growled as he eased back most of the way, then pushed right back in.

A whimper escaped me as I gripped his arm.

"The pain goes away, it doesn't last. It's just the one time!" he promised, starting to move slowly back and forth, as gentle as he could possibly be. "You're bein' so brave, El! I'm so proud of ya! You feel so good! You'll like this soon too as well, I'll make it good for ya!" he promised, starting to sound breathless.

I nodded again, unable to speak. I knew my voice wouldn't work, I would just cry if I opened my mouth. Just as I was sure I was going to have to make him stop, the pain started to ease a bit. More and more it seemed to abate, then as it did, it started to feel good as well. Not more than it hurt, but I could feel that it was going to be nice once my body got used to him.

"El!" he cried suddenly, going still. For a moment, I feared something was wrong, then I felt his cock pulse inside of me a second before it throbbed even larger and shot hot fluid into me.

"Oh!" I let out a breath, the feel of it thrilling me to my core, even if I was still in pain.

Buel groaned as he throbbed inside of me and emptied himself, then he wilted and relaxed above me, catching his breath. "It's... it's been a damn long time since I... I didn't even know how much I been needin that," he sighed in satisfaction. "It hurt too bad?" he asked in concern then, easing out of me. "You alright, ya need..."

"I'm alright," I told him quickly.

"You still wantin' finished as well, or it hurt to much?" he asked worriedly.

"It hurts a bit," I fibbed, managing a smile. "Maybe in the morning we can finish? Wait until the soreness lets up some?" I don't think I could enjoy much right this moment."

"I'm sorry, little one," he murmured gently, stroking my face.

"It's alright!" I told him quickly. "It was starting to feel nice and I liked it! It will be better next time and even better the time after, I know it! I just have to get the first couple times out of the way. Thank you for being so soft and slow and gentle."

"Of course," he smiled, then got up slowly and went over the the washbasin to clean himself up. "Come on over here," he called, not looking at me. "After, we clean up, don't want it all gettin in the sheets if we can help it. Washing beddin' is a lotta work for a girl small as you," he smiled as I hurried over next to him. Taking a knee in front of me, he pulled my hands to his shoulders, then lifted my leg up over his before taking the wet cloth and easing it down between my legs.

"I can do that!" I told him quickly, blushing.

"But I want to do it," he countered, smiling at me again. "Just hold on and relax for me," he rumbled looking down at his work.

I looked down as well, looking at the blood mixed in with his seed on the cloth and I blushed even harder. Buel was gentle as he cleaned me very thoroughly, giving me smiles as he worked. Finally, he tossed the cloth up in the basin and took hold of me, standing up and taking me back to bed.

My heart hurt with how much I adored him and I immediately curled in close to him and hugged him as tight as I could.

"G'night, El," he sighed happily, his massive arms around me.

I woke twice in the night as he shifted, but I didn't mind, only smiling and hugging him until he went still again.

In the morning, a knock woke him and he slipped out of bed quietly as I sat up. "Stay here and don't get dressed," he grinned at me, his eyes shining as he pulled his pants on to step out. Moments later, he came back in with a scowl. "Go ahead and get dressed, El. Go on in and help with breakfast, I'll be back as soon as I can," he told me, yanking a shirt on and sitting down to put his boots on.

"What's wrong?"

"Bear," he answered, as if that were an answer.

"You saw it?"

"No, he got in the pen and got one of the goats. Saw his tracks, gonna go after him. Cain't have bears makin' off with our food," he smiled, then pulled me close and kissed me as I tied my dress in the back. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You shouldn't be..." I began worriedly.

Buel barked a laugh and cut me off, "El, I been on this mountain a long time, I ain't gonna let a bear off me now that I have me a pretty little wife who makes me smile. "Three of my boys are comin' with me, ya don't hafta have a worry over me. Warms my cockles though, to know you are worried," he grinned. "I'll let you warm'm more when I get home."

I laughed at him then, my unease breaking away.

He was gone all day and I did worry, but I wasn't alone. Three of the wives sat with me, looking out the main window as we waited for them to get back.

They finally came in after dark, Buel grinning ear to ear. "We got'm! I'll have you a bearskin rug soon, El! And we have plenty of meat from'm too!"

Running to him, I hugged him and he lifted me up to hold up on one arm as he came in and tucked up to the table. Grinning at me, he refused to put me down, eating with one hand as I hugged his neck and laughed. This man was just absolutely perfect! His sparkling and adoring eyes told me everything I needed to know.

After they all ate, Buel went back out with two of his sons to help cut up the meat to hang up in the smokehouse.

Sam moved closer to me, smiling a little sadly. "You really ok, El? You look happy, but I know how you felt about..."

"Turns out that was just Henry," I shrugged happily. "I thought it was because he was so much older... but I find I don't really mind that at all. I'm happy, Sam. What about you? I've never seen you grin so much and still be as tired as you always are."

He barked a quiet laugh, looking around quickly. "She don't let me sleep much... and I am damn good with that! I'm happy, El. More than happy. I love it here, I love her."

"I love him too. I expect you can't call me El anymore," I told him, unable to hide my teasing grin.

"No?" he asked, confused.

"You'll have to call me Ma."

He burst out laughing, quickly covering his mouth. "You'll regret that joke when I start calling you that!" he joked, then slipped away quickly when Gracie came looking for him.

Still smiling, I went back to mine and Buels room to wash up and wait for him, feeling happy.

When the door opened, I turned, then my heart dropped as I looked at Ben blocking the door as he shut it.

Immediately, I considered screaming, but my throat seized up as I felt like I was being choked. A hand around my throat, closing hard, blocking my air.

Ben leaned back on the door, scowling at me dourly. "First I thought maybe you was just hitchin yer wagon to him because you felt you didn't have no choice. You was afraid of me, Mal told me. Said I didn't smile enough'n all that. Then I looked at ya... you smile more when he's here, when he has you. You love him."

"I do," I agreed, still terrified.

"First I thought that wasn't fair, he's old'n he's had his life. A wife, kids, all of it. I ain't never wanted a girl before and it wasn't fair he was takin' you from me like he did... but I understand. It was you who made the choice. He smiles more now too. All the time. He's been smilin', but I didn't see the why till now. It's been since you came and through the winter till now... it's all been about you, his smiles and good moods. You been smilin' more too, here lately. I seen you lookin so sad before, but last few days, you've been happy too. With him."

"I am," I managed, wondering if he just came to tell me he wasn't upset with me for choosing Buel.

"That's alright then," he shrugged. "Still. I love'm, but... he's an old man. Already lived longer'n most men do up here on the mountain. I don't wish him ill, not at all... but when it happens... when he passes on and you're widowed... would you consider me then? I'd wait. I'd wait as long as it takes, if it's tomorrah or ten years yon."

"Don't you want to try and find a..."

"No. No, I had me a look around plenty of times and the only time I saw something I wanted was when I looked at you. I'd make it a point ta see ya smile the same... please ya enough ta see ya happy. I'd... listen to Mal and t'others when they say how I'd need ta be with ya. I'd try harder."

I relaxed then, realizing what he was saying. He wanted to please me as well as his father did, he just didn't know how. He was telling me he would listen to his brothers and figure it out, find out how to act so he didn't terrify me so much. I managed a small smile, then gave him a nod. "I think if that's what you would like to do, Ben, to learn to be a gentler man with a softer way of speaking and... not so angry all the time... I think I would be well pleased to entertain an offer from you if the time ever came that I found myself widowed. I think Buel would like that as well, to know it was you who was taking care of me."

Ben let out a relieved breath, his posture relaxing. "So you would? I'll wait then, Eloise. I'll be pleased ta wait. N' I'll try'n be... more pleasant to be around. I'll listen to Mal when he tells me how ta be."

"I think... I think it's enough that you want to, Ben. To know that you aren't really as angry and bitter as you seem. It's enough for me, anyway. You don't have to change who you are, I will just come to know you better. I understand now that you aren't... you aren't angry and bitter like... like the man Buel saved me from."

"That's alright then," he nodded, his cheeks reddening as he looked around. "So it's settled. If the time comes, not for a long time yon we hope, it'll be me what gets your hand. See ya pleased'n... you'll do the same?"

"I will," I nodded, smiling again.

"That's alright then," he nodded, his face lighting up quite a bit. Turning, he slipped out quietly.

I stood there a moment, then shook my head as I smiled. I'd misunderstood him and Buel was right. He had no want to hurt me and his anger and bitterness was quelled insofar as I was concerned.

When Buel came in after I was already in bed braiding my hair, he grinned at me and I told him about Ben and what he'd said and asked.

Buel barked a quiet laugh. "That sounds about right," he nodded. "And he'll wait too. He's always been patient that way. Makes me glad, El, that you'll have each other when the time comes. Not that I plan on goin' anywhere any time soon," he chuckled, getting into bed. "I just got my hands on you, I ain't goin nowhere for a good long while," he promised, gripping my braid and pulling me close to kiss.

He kept me giggling and smiling until well into the night, as we pleased each other and fell asleep in the small hours of the morning.

I had four, long, blissfully happy years with Buel before the confusion set in.

It started with small things, him not remembering his grandchildren's names, then not remembering the younger ones at all. Wanting to know who they were and where they'd come from. Sam and Gracie's youngest was when I realized something was wrong. He kept telling me to give the baby back, it was time for Sam to go. I realized then that he was confused. He didn't remember Sam or the baby. It wasn't until Gracie came in and picked up the baby that he seemed to make the connection that Sam and the baby belonged. It got worse and worse and a month later, he didn't really remember me either. He kept getting upset and asking where his wife was. He got standoffish and cold towards me and I knew it was because he didn't understand.

Some days were better and he smiled at me, but it was like a stranger smiling at me. He started forgetting the other husbands and wives of his kids as well, though he usually always remembered his own kids.

Three months in, it was decided to keep all the kids out of his way since they seemed to upset him so much. He didn't know who they were, none of them. Even his youngest son seemed to confuse him as he looked at him.

He kept finding reasons to leave the house when he'd get confused, not wanting to admit something was wrong. He'd go hunting, even when it wasn't in season. He'd set traps and his sons would have to go behind and trip them since it wasn't time yet.

It got to where he had to be watched constantly and my heart broke more every day.

I had to start sleeping alone, he refused to look at me. I just made him more confused and upset as he tried to sort things in his muddled mind.

"His mom went the same way," Mal told me one night after Buel had gone to bed before dinner had even been served. "She forgot everyone, her own kids even, and kept thinking she was a kid again, living at home with her folks. She didn't know who people were or why she was so old."

"You think it's the same?" I asked softly. "I read in a book that sometimes sickness can be passed from parents to children, you think he has it because she had it?"

"Could be... but there's one thing I know, El. He wouldn't want to go this way. To lose himself more every day. I know I already told my brothers and my kids, if this happens to me, I want to be put down. Given somethin' ta make me sleep and ne'er wake up again."