Emails from Wamford Academy

From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Welcome Back!

Hello, students and faculty. It feels great to welcome you back to another school year at Wamford Academy. It gives me great pride to once again commence classes at the finest preparatory school in the town of Wamford. Although I am sure it is going to be another year of continuing our achievements--both academic and athletic--it is also a year of change.

As you all know, our slogan has long been "Making men", and for nearly two centuries we have done just that, accepting only the most gifted 18 year old men and putting them through our intense one-year curriculum to prepare them for college and their future adult years. However, our slogan has been changed to "Making men and women" because, for the first time in our venerable history, we have admitted a female student.

I am sure you have all noticed Kaitlyn around campus today (It's hard to miss a tall redhead, especially if she's the only woman around). Please join me in giving her a warm Wamford welcome!

I'd like to wrap up this email by taking care of some administrative matters. Copies of the latest version of the student handbook have already been distributed, but the faculty council will be meeting regularly and any modifications will be communicated via email. Right now, there is one last-minute change to the dress code. The printed handbook described the uniform for men, but lacked a uniform for women. After much discussion and reflection, we have come up with a uniform for women (well, just one woman at the moment). Reflecting the cosmopolitan nature of our curriculum, we have taken our cues from the "sailor fuku" uniforms popular in Japanese schools. The woman's uniform will consist of a white shirt or blouse, red kerchief and navy blue pleated skirt. Stockings are optional and may be worn at the student's discretion. Shoes must be black patent-leather Mary Janes, although on casual Fridays high heels of any color may be worn.

Thank you for reading, and let's all have a great school year!

Humbert Hutchins

Principal

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Faculty

Subject: Dress code clarifications

Hello faculty,

I have been so glad to hear that the first week of classes has gone smoothly so far. As always, I am happy to answer any questions you may have. One thing that has come up several times is the issue of skirt length. There is no regulation on skirt length. We respect our students' autonomy as young adults, and a student may wear her skirt as long or as short as she likes, even if that means occasionally "flashing". I trust you are all skilled enough at controlling your classrooms that this won't cause undue distraction.

Best Wishes,

Humbert Hutchins

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Tom Flinders

Subject: Stockings

Hi Tom,

I have to confess I needed to google some of the terms in your email. But to answer your question, any style of stocking is permitted, whether they are thigh highs with elastic tops or the other kind that need a garter belt. Also, any color of stocking is permitted. That means they can be white, black, pink, or even, like we saw yesterday, red. As I mentioned in my email two weeks ago, the skirt may be of any length. I don't care if you can see the garter straps, I don't care if you can see the lace tops of her stockings, and I don't care if you can see the little bows on top. It is Kaitlyn's decision to make. It is also her decision to pick up the pencils her classmates drop. Personally, I think that is generous of her. If every boy in your class is dropping his pencil multiple times, that sounds like a systemic issue and it wouldn't be right to single out any individuals.

Humbert

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Coach Lech

Subject: Swimwear

Heya coach!

Great question, and I'm glad you asked before swimming lessons start next week. There is nothing in the handbook about women's swimwear, so I looking into the academy bylaws. Apparently, there is a total ban on both bikins and women's one-piece swimsuits. I think it was introduced during a moral panic in the 60s. Modifying the bylaws is a lot more complicated than revising the handbook. I'd have to call a Plenary Convention; make a quorum of faculty, alumni and local citizens; and go through parliamentary procedures. The last Plenary Convention took almost 2 years to organize and then immediately deadlocked over how to handle the drainage situation, a debate which was never resolved (which is why the grounds get so muddy every spring), so that probably explains why there hasn't been a Plenary Convention in almost 20 years.

But getting back to the point: what should she wear? Well, the bylaws do state that "If the fairer sex do partake in swimming, they should strive to do so in the spirit of our Victorian forbears." I'm still puzzling that out, but I did a bit of research, and it looks like Victorian women swam in dresses. I think the best thing we could do to comply is have Kaitlyn swim in her school uniform.

H

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Coach Lech

Subject: Swimming tournament

I just wanted to say, I was impressed with the quality of athleticism I saw when I looked in on your swimming lessons. I don't think I've seen such speed in the water since '06. What do you say to holding an all-school swimming tournament this year? Maybe at the end of the semester.

H

P. S. I think Kaitlyn is likely to turn out to be your star student. It's true, she was outpaced by some of the boys, but I think that was due to her uniform weighing her down. The sight of her skirt and blouse floating in the water when she jumps in is beautiful, but the clothes probably produce extra drag when she swims forward. I will talk with counsel soon and see what can be done about the bylaws.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Custodial Staff

Subject: Wet floors

I do apologize for the extra work mopping up the floors. It seems Kaitlyn has been wearing her wet clothes around campus after swimming lessons. I will let her know that she is supposed to change into a dry uniform before going to her next class.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Privacy

Students and faculty,

As you all know, our athletic facilities only have lockers for men. This means that when Kaitlyn changes after swimming lessons, she needs to do so in the gymnasium. Please, try to give her some privacy while she does this. If you happen to catch a peek walking through, that is understandable, but individuals who stare or make comments will be disciplined. Kaitlyn has already told me that, although she isn't shy about her body, she draws the line at complete nudity. She said that doesn't feel comfortable stripping completely naked and wears her sopping-wet undergarments under her clothes all day long. She assures me that she doesn't mind the feeling of her wet underwear against her skin, but please respect her privacy during this time.

P. S. It is expressly forbidden to ask Kaitlyn if "the carpets match the curtains". She has made it clear that she will not be removing her panties while she changes. You will not find out the answer, and I do not want her to be subject to teasing on account of the hair on her head, which, for the record, I think is a beautiful shade of bright red.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Ned Sampson

Subject: Undergarments

Mr. Sampson,

I will respond to the question posed by you and your fellow students in good faith. To answer your query: there are no regulations on the color of Wamford students' undergarments. And there is no prospect of gender discrimination: if you, or any other young man at this institution, wish to wear, like Kaitlyn has, pink panties, you are free to do so.

Regards,

Principal Hutchins

P. S. I have also noticed that she has never worn white panties, but does not mean she is not a virgin, and such insinuations are inappropriate.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Coach Lech

Subject: Brassiere

I hadn't even thought of it like that. I took a good look myself, and yes, Kaitlyn's bra is completely visible during and after she gets in the pool. I thought it might only happen when she wears a black bra, like on Monday, but her blouse gets completely transparent when wet, and her pink, red and blue bras were clearly visible on the following days.

I had a quick call with the lawyer, and he said wearing a bra in the pool like that, even with a shirt on top, might fall afoul of the "no bikinis" bylaw. We discussed the issue, and the only course of action is to ask Kaitlyn to take off her bra before getting in the pool.

H

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Custodial Staff

Subject: Wet floors redux

Thanks again for mopping up the floors. Kaitlyn was swimming extra laps to build her endurance and lost track of time, so she ran to her next class without changing out of her wet clothes. Thanks also for bringing in the bra she left behind in her haste. I will call her in to pick it up at the end of the day.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Tom Flinders

Subject: Undergarments

Hi Tom,

There is no requirement for a student to wear a bra. I guess, being an all-male school for so long, it was never written into the rules. It seems Kaitlyn wants to avoid the hassle on taking her bra on and off for swimming lessons and has decided to just leave it off. We are not going to introduce a bra requirement just for her; that would be gender discrimination. To address your final points, the fact that her nipples are visible, even in a dry blouse, is irrelevant.

Humbert

P. S. You are correct, she is a D cup, but I don't think a size-based requirement would be practical to enforce. Even if we were to use the "pencil test" as you suggested, Kaitlyn's breasts, from what I've seen, are so perky that the pencil would probably drop.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Coach Lech

Subject: Bylaws

Hey coach,

I met with the legal counsel today. Good news! We found a loophole in the bylaws. Most styles of swimsuits are expressly forbidden, but they left out monokinis. In case you didn't know, a monokini is just a bikini bottom. At this point, everyone has seen Kaitlyn's nipples, so I don't think she'll mind going topless in the pool, especially if it will give her an edge in performance. I've noticed how competitive she can be.

H

P. S. I forgot to mention, the lawyer said that just to be on the safe side, we shouldn't use a bottom specifically from a bikini, in case it's interpreted as an incomplete bikini, instead of a monokini. He said if she just swims in her panties, she should be fine. Still no bra, though--that would be too bikini-like.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Dress Code revision

Hello all,

Yesterday evening, the faculty council met. On the agenda, among other things, was a student petition to regulate the color of undergarments. After much debate, the following proposal was adopted: all undergarments must be plain white and made of cotton, with the exception of Fridays when any style of undergarment is permitted. As today is Friday, you will all be relieved to know you don't have to go home and change! But please be prepared to follow the dress code after the weekend.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Swimming tournament

Reminder: the all-school swimming tournament will be held in the gymnasium at 4:00 on Monday. I hope to see you there!

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Dress code clarification

Swimming trunks do not count as an undergarment and are unaffected by the new rule. However, anyone swimming in an item of underwear, such as panties, will be expected to comply with the new dress code.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: Tom Flinders

Subject: White panties

Hi Tom,

Thanks for letting me know that Kaitlyn is complying with the new dress code. The pictures were not necessary, but I appreciate the effort. See you at the swimming tournament this afternoon!

H

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: Swimming tournament results

Hello everyone,

Yesterday's all-school swimming tournament was a rousing success! For those of you who missed it (although it seemed like just about everyone was packed into the stands), pictures and video are posted on the school website.

I'd like to congratulate the tournament's winner: Kaitlyn! We are all so proud of her hard work and achievement. In her honor, we plan on having a photograph of her accepting the gold medal framed and hung in the main hall.

Principal Hutchins

P. S. There has been plenty of discussion about how, during the tournament, Kaitlyn's panties became transparent. It is true, we all know now that the "carpet" does indeed "match the curtains", but I will not tolerate any teasing on this account. The hair between her legs is just a beautiful as the hair on her head, and no one at this institution should make her feel otherwise.

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From: Principal Hutchins

To: All

Subject: End of Fall Semester

Hello everyone,

As we prepare to leave for the winter break, I'd like to thank everyone for a great fall semester. Enjoy your holidays, and prepare to come back well-rested for the winter semester. Starting in January, we'll be offering cooking classes, taught by a new faculty member (she's an award-winning pastry chef from Paris). Students will also be required to take sex-ed. We've revamped the curriculum, with a greater emphasis on practical knowledge. This semester has been a great start to the school year, and I'm sure things will only get better.

Happy Holidays!

Principal Hutchins