All Comments on 'Emasculated No More'

I commented on your last tale and said that I, as a published author thought your ending was utter nonsense but that you had talent.

I've just read your latest post, it's a little rough around the edges but I see nothing to change my mind.

You have talent.

Sorry, but that was pretty bad.

It came across as a butthurt, man-hating rant.

Quite cleverly done, but the implication that it is better to put up with egregious humiliation than to be without a woman is preposterous. Perhaps you simply don't understand what manhood means?

RAAC-Reconcile at all costs. Ok, enjoyed your lead in. Keep writing

In the US about 40% of all murders go unsolved. This is usually due to a lack of evidence, a lack of suspects or too many suspects. And while modern forensics makes it much harder to frame someone like that, it's still possible depending on how lazy/corrupt/overzealous the people working the case are, especially in our mockery of a "justice" system. So this ending, though basically a parody, is more plausible than one might think.

Worse than the first one.

I enjoyed the introduction, very humorous. I didn't read your previous story, the original 'February sucks' was bad enough without the endless alternative versions just piling crap onto an already huge heap of manure, likewise I only skimmed through this one as soon as I realised it was the same subject. However, I'm glad that you're able to laugh off the comments, especially those from anonymous. You have to understand a large proportion of the loving wives readership share a very limited number of brain cells, consequently if you post anything featuring a wife straying from beneath the thumb of her husband, the self-righteous BTB maggots emerge from the woodwork.

You have a nice style of writing but, as yet nothing original to say. Maybe try something different but don't sacrifice your principles just to appease the moronic minority. As contradictory as it seems I will look out for more from you, in the hope of seeing your own ideas.

RAAC, Reconciliation At All Costs.

OK, you tried to play up to the BTB "Burn the Bitch/Bastard" crowd. It did work!

1. you need a story that details the beginning, middle, ending, and the aftermath.

2. need to show the emotional fallout at each point.

3. For a good BTB the MC must be shown to be a good person the was abused.

4. The ending must show a minimum balance to the MC's world.

5. Evil people must receive the pain that they gave to MC and friends. It should not be excessive. Killing should only be in the story if the MC's life is in danger.

6. Fore shadowing / without giving away the ending is the sign of a good

author.

I have been reading stories for over 5 years / 1000's to 10,000's of them. The above is common to all good stories. Myself I can spot what is wrong, but I don't have it in me to create a story.

As far as a BTB story goes this is pretty good. Usually the author spends an unhealthy amount of time going into how the woman's life is ruined and how she eventually dies or goes insane, and it feels weird. For me, the best stories are the ones where the cheated sacks up and leaves their cheating partners and betters themselves or the ones where the cheated make their partners understand what they did was wrong and forgive them. Mainly because they are far better and more realistic than the Ocean's 11-esque or Machiavellian revenge plot, and especially better than the ones where the cheated husbands shacks up with his daughter after he finds out she is not his biological daughter.

I know you didn't write the first one and I know the next section is more appropriate for your previous submission, but I feel like it's more likely to be read here than on the GA story or your "February Sucks" story.

I had a few problems with original, like the contradiction in the barkeeper's logic where she says that cheating is not so bad, but smart people prepare against it; if it is so bad that you should actively prevent it, then how can it also be a big deal? And the part where the barkeeper successfully seduces Jim only to set him up doesn't work because the state of mind Jim is in is significantly different and thus making his actions more justifiable than Linda's. Plus Dee's divorce for sleeping with Marc contradicts both what Dee's husband tells Jim and the logic of the barkeeper.

But my main issue that comes up in your and the GA story is that Linda does not respect Jim. Her cheating is obvious proof of the fact; as is mentioned, she isn't being deprived of it, and it's wholly unnecessary, and the entire time she expects him to go and forgive with the infidelity and the deception. It is clear that Linda loves Jim and wouldn't choose Marc over him, but that doesn't really say much.

In media, love has become an amorphous blob that describes why couples care for one another, and people believe that it is expressed by great acts of "love" or gestures (gifts on special days, and unreasonable displays of love like throwing your coat over a puddle for your partner), and not about the little things people do for their partners (calling them in the morning to wake them up, making them coffee, or being with them when they need it). The Greeks had a different understanding of love; they, like us had loves like the filial or platonic kind, but they also understand that their were more kinds of romantic loves (Eros, Prgama, Agape, Ludus, and Mania). Linda does love Jim, but like an object. For Linda, it is more important that Jim doesn't divorce her than him feeling bad about the affair, and your story adds onto that with the backstory for why Marc sent letters and called her. It wasn't because he actually felt that way, but because Linda wanted to make it appear like Jim had one over on Marc, that in the end he was the winner. This was so that Jim felt more secure in the relationship and made the relationship more stable. This wasn't for Jim but for the marriage. For Linda, growing old with Jim is the goal, Jim's sense of self is merely a stepping stone.

Sorry for the long rant. I thought the writing for this and the previous was superb, but disliked the main idea of this and the previous story.

When I read the intro, I was quite apprehensive that perhaps KitDeLuca164 was having a good sarcastic moment writing the intro, with a smirk on her face, just to make fun with those who did not like her plot lines (I wrote PLOT LINES because as I read the 200+ comments most of the commenters truly think that MS. KitDeLuca164 was truly a genuine raw gem of talent in writing. Serious writing skills Ms. Kit has, I agree. But there are lots of authors who had superior writing skills but I truly don't care about their work (especially the writers of Mills and Boone books). So I respect their God-given skills but their books suck.

/

But I digress.

//

I couldn't help the sarcastic vibes of the intro. All those acts she did is unrealistic like fictional.

Did she really...

--told her husband that she is a skanky cheating wife? Maybe. Or she probably told him something like 'I have fantasies of being a skank and projected it in my LW story' or 'I approve of women being a cheating skank as it is women's right' or something similar. Or she was again being sarcastic.

--did she have DNA testing for her kids. I believe no. Just pure sarcasm. A woman/wife doesn't need a DNA test as she has some idea who the sperm donor is/are/were. The husband I can understand will do the DNA testing.

//

Again, this was well written. I tip my hat off to KitDeLuca164's writing skill.

This was short. Yes, I get it. It was meant to be.

This, in my own opinion, was just done to troll those who (the BTB crowd I surmise) didn't like her woman's perspective on the story.

///

But despite being butt-hurt by the comments, I do encourage KitDeLuca164 should keep writing. Maybe after her phase of emulating Cagivagurl's feminist-laden plot lines, she can truly come up with a gem.

Ah okay you wanted to "write" a troll bait story. Well you have certainly done that. You probably should have spent your time doing something more worthwhile, but its your time to waste. Brace yourself for incoming.

Nice. Thanks so much for pointing out that, when a feminist submits a story, there are only 2 options for readers:

.

Option 1.) Identify that feminist story as the best damn thing you've ever read in your life, or ever WILL read in your life. Better even than the Magna Carta or the Bill of Rights or the Bible or... wait... those were written by crusty old men so they don't count anyway. Yeah, it's best to just admit that all feminist stories are the best thing ever. At any time. From anyone. Plus, men suck.

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Option 2.) Actually, there is NO second option. We should all be honored to read anything written from a feminist POV, because Option 1 and, of course, men still suck.

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So... 2 full stars for the very cliché "author-blames-the-reader-for-their-POS-story". You're much too clever for us troglodytes. We salivate at the very thought that we might, one day, be honored with the opportunity to read another fantastic tome written by you. Just get with Randi, she'll have another cuckold theme for you to expound upon.

Funny take on GA story. I liked it because I am a HUGE fan of over-the-top revenge stories. I don't do Harry potter fantasy or Marvel comic stories but confess to enjoying Rambo no matter how silly and contrived. Thanks for the fun read. By the way, there is nothing wrong with a good reconciliation story as long as it is reasonable, but please, never write a "happy cuck" story. The comments of those who enjoy them are so distressing!

Good one! I know how it hurt… or something as it that last monster cock??

What was that?

WHY was that?

I don’t know why FS launched a thousand stories but it was NOT because anyone wanted more, more, more of it.

Hitching your wagon to that floater in the punch bowl was a poor decision the first time.

But now that you’ve calmly assessed the situation and of all the choices you could have made decided to double-down and have another go at it…

Just a massive ‘some people never learn’ facepalm.

Totally the worst. Alot worse than Details Matter. Maybe you should probably give this up.

Your humorous story is definately better than your attempt at a BTB. Thanks for the laugh, stick with comedy and forget BTB. There are a many different sub-genres in Loving Wives that would better if written in this form, much better,

If this was supposed to somehow bring less criticism than your previous garbage you failed miserably. 1* Face facts, you can't write, and I call bullshit on you not knowing what RAAC means.

Would’ve loved to have read the in between, you know, from golf to bar. Essentially l’d love to know the planning, execution and aftermath of the killing.

This could’ve been good very good.

It is a step up from the other story, but it needs more a lot more to make a good story, just too much bare bones.

3/5

Not very believable and the dialog is worse than some porn movies, but it was a fun read

Pathetic that instead of accepting the well meaning criticism of your writers you decided to once again show how shallow of morals u r. We understand that a bitch can never gets its tail straightened.. so pse continue cuckolding ur poor husband.. we won’t interfere. But try cucolding us on LW.. we have the right to comment back and off course give u shit for marks!!

And with this story you have moved into the respected panoply of BTB LW authors. It's amazing how slaying a predator or two can really enhance your street cred. You now have our permission to write another story. The formula is simple. Simply burn the bitch and dispose of the predator ( it's always good to get them fired, divorced, disgraced, beaten badly, and/or imprisoned - pick any three). With those minor constraints feel free to let your imagination freely roam over the landscape of marital infidelity. Good luck with your next story, and remember...we will be watching.

Well played Kit. Way to push back on the LW scolds. P.S. Iamweasel is a tool. Your background on him is hilarious. 5*

First off you are a very good writer. You have a good sense of conversation and how it moves the story along. I know that some of this comment could and maybe should be attached to the first story. That said you fell into the " February sucks" bear trap! GA wrote too neatly of a tale of such horror that any real attempt at trying to rationalizing the actions of the characters is impossible! Please keep at it! Either finding your own story to tell or there are more than a few stories open to further expansion.

Could easily be a sketch on SNL — absolutely perfect/you nailed it. Love your sense of humor. Not sure which was funnier — the prologue or the short piece itself. Am saving this as a “Favorite” and hope you share some more. 5 stars easily.

MUCH better than your rehash of February Sucks

LOL!! You definitely have the mental toughness and mindset to write in LW. Many don't. Your preface was funny as hell and I sorta liked the story even though it was dripping with sarcasm. I doubt I'll like many of your stories but I'm glad you hung in there. You really are a good writer. Good luck with future stories.

Don't toss anything on the table or it is fair game. In your preamble, not sure if it was in jest or not, but you disclosed that you live the cheater lifestyle? I can believe it because in your details matter submission, you wax and wane incessantly about how great it was for Linda and you pretty much laid it out that Jim was in torment. Linda was so self obsessed that could not get past her justification for her actions and Jim should just suck it up. Linda never made amends, she just did the minimum to hold her husband and family together, and that was under duress. A truly repentant wife to make amends would suck start a 12 gauge to atone for the atrocity committed, then she could honor at least one of the vows of until death do us part and let Jim and the kids get on with their lives.

This second submission, not sure what you were shooting for but it was clearly a miss. Why would Jim go after Marc? Marc is what he is, which is not to say that society would be a lot better off with his removal, kind of like straining a turd out of the pool. But you fail spectacularly when you posted the first submission about details matter, and then you trashed the second story with forgetting little details. Say for instance that Jim did shoot Marc? There has to be records of him casing Marc's house? Doubtful there isn't some form of CCTV around there to document who is coming and going in the house. (pun intended) Then there is the "how" in Jim actually getting access to the house where he could shoot Marc. Then can he actually do the deed without leaving physical evidence? Then you have the gun. Where did he get it? Guns have serial numbers and can easily be traced back to the original purchaser who legally bought the gun. So say that all of these improbable situations were to occur and Jim shot Marc and put the gun in Linda's trunk? What is her motive? All she has to do is pull out her documentation of how much she loved Marc. Could they put it as a spurned lover? Doubtful, Marc was some side sausage and she would gladly wait in line for service. Hell, there was probably a ticket dispenser an a "now serving" sign by his front door. Everything is going to point to Jim. Even if Linda were to shoot Marc for some weird reason, they would always look at Jim and Jim would be doing jail time.

As you said, details matter. And for not thinking things through, 3 stars is the best I can give you. You are writing for a 1 and done crowd of readers. We honor the marriage commitments. The marriage vows are not some jumble of words to you utter as a passphrase to get into the married club, every one of them has a specific meaning and is part of a contract between 2 people that stood up in front of family and friends to affirm their code of conduct to one another, then formalized it through the legal system. So to get high marks, you must first understand your audience, then write what they would want to read. Most of us are sickened by the rot of society that has told so many married people that their vows are just merely vague suggestions and it is their life, their body, their choices and a spouse should just understand and support that behavior. Change your views and write to your audience.

Interesting twist. Not bad. Please keep writing. And good luck with you self healing.

Laura San Giacomo has always been underrated and has a rocking set of tits. Oh...nice story. Well played.

Made me laugh.

A little too short, barely qualifies as a story. With so few words you didn't have much to work with. BTB = Burn the bitch or Burn the bastard. RAAC = Reconciliation at any cost.

well, different to say the least but average as a story goes. Keep on trucking though girl. You have a great imagination.

I like irony, and I do like satire/sarcasm, along with witty 'comebacks', and I guess this is the female version of it. In my minds eye I can see a lot of females dying of laughter while they read this- problem is, I'm male, and I just don't get it. Maybe that was the intention.....

well i guess that's a thing :)

LOL. Very funny. I was one that didn’t care for the ending of your story Details Matter, but I like how you write. I also like that you punch back. Keep it up. 5 stars.

the irony that there was not single woman in the place was lost on him.

So? Do you stupid hoe's think we have to be around your crazy bullshit every minute of every day

interesting but no depth in the telling in the story for which it seeks redress.

I gave you 4* for the story and 6* for your lead in. 5* overall. Funny as hell!

"Jim inwardly groaned. This guy seems like a bit of a tool, he thought." - Did you leave something out? Based on the previous sentence, it's Jim that looks like a tool!. BTW, not saying that the name would never be "Haim," I think it would more likely be "Chaim," pronounced with a gutteral "H," as in the song from Fiddler on he Roof. "L'Chaim."

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That's it? Did the wife get framed? Was Jim found guilty?

Ok, that was playful. I still don’t see an actual sequel to the story you wrote that makes sustained sense—on its own emotional terms or in terms of the story rhythm you first set up…

Funny, KDL. Don’t lose your sense of humor.

To be frank here, writing this farcical story (if it can even be called a story) just proves how thin skinned you are and that you can’t take criticism. It’s no secret that the Loving Wife category is a shark infested ocean. So maybe it’s best if you just write cuckold and slutwife stories since those are easier to write and and the readers for those are easier to please.

Nice

Hey I like your writing and I'm glad to see the negative comments didn't make you quit. You have talent and it's great that you're still going.

I have some insights I think may help with some of the issues you had with your last story. First, affairs and cheating and all this loving wives stuff is VERY formulaic. I'm talking about the real life variety of cheating. I'm not joking here. Go spend some time on survivinginfidelity forums and go binge listen to reddit cheating stories on youtube. You begin to notice that every single instance of cheating follows a script. Even down to what cheaters say. People being cheated on don't see it because they trust their SO and don't look for cheating and they're emotionally involved and look for ways that it isn't cheating. You more or less should stick to this formula and if you don't, realize that you're deviating and make it clever. It's like in school you go to a few classes, then it's lunch time, then it's recess, then a few more classes, then you go home. If you have a character go to school and the first thing they do is have lunch then there needs to be a reason. Follow the basic outline of the affair and add your own flair. I'm serious about going to the forums and youtube too if you're serious about writing more wayward wives. At least the youtube stories since they're pretty entertaining.

Second, RAAC is very tough. I'm not sure of the demographic but I'm willing to bet it's largely men. If you set out to write RAAC you need to make sure all your bases are covered. And even if it's good unfortunately you will still get a good amount of hate. However your story will still be rated well.

For me the serious underlying issue of the last story was the lack of true remorse from the wife. Nothing was resolved. What it boils down to is she cheated and her husband just has to suck it up and deal with it. One of my favorite RAAC Feb sucks stories did basically that, however it tells the story 20 years later and how they both spent the rest of their lives in a wrecked marriage. They love each other but the husband is a shadow of his former self and stagnated professionally. Things aren't bad, but they could no longer be great. And the wife truly understood what she messed up. If you're going to write RAAC having the cheater show actual genuine remorse is absolutely critical. This is another real world thing, if reconciliation is going to happen the cheater needs to humble themselves for as long as it takes (this can take years) and express genuine remorse. Remorse isn't the same as guilt. Or feeling bad but it's only because they're facing consequences. A true remorseful wayward spouse would cut off their own arm if it made things better. Real world remorseful spouses usually sit quietly whenever their cheated spouses have their unpredictable outbursts of insults. They take it and let them get it out of their system. Or at least are very understanding about it. And the problem was, Linda expressed no remorse at all.

But she got very close in her later self reflections. But not quite. I totally saw it and I had hope! And I think that's what frustrated a lot of readers. Because without it the entire story was just a prolonged continuation of her walking away with Marc and Jim just needing to suck it up. She was STILL dreaming of her time with Marc when her marriage was on the brink of collapse. It was incredibly cruel and god did that make everyone hate her even more. And Jims reaction at the end to decide to work on the relationship didn't make logical sense after getting emotion bombed by Linda. It wasn't established that he was a mega cuck so any man with the smallest amount of testosterone would have been furious. The resolution felt rushed.

As far as this story. I liked it. I imagine it might have been written out of frustration to make amends for the previous. But it was clever. BTB I imagine is much easier to write since you can get as wild and far fetched as you want. BTB stories are cathartic for many readers. But don't give up on RAAC. Just gotta make it fair or at least make the cheater equally as miserable as their betrayed spouse.

At least you have a little sense of humor.

BTW, people that vehemently disagree with your particular emasculation kink aren't incels nor do they have a hard time finding willing women.

I thought your writing was very good in your February Sucks add on. You simply depicted a truly vile character (Linda) as even less sympathetic and disgusting and a truly weak character (Jim) as even more pathetic.

That was short and funny. Lol . Hope you had fun writing it. And thank you for sharing your work with us

I'm going to assume it's the cheating bitch. Even tho I think she deserves all she has coming, that is alil too far and that's coming from someone who loves BTB stories. Perfect revenge for me is the cheater falling into guilt, remorse, and loneliness 4 the rest of their life while the spouse gets their happily ever after with someone else.

To answer your bio inquiry, she wouldn't... cheat that is. But you had better tell your hubby to keep a closer eye on you! Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

Asshole got what he deserved and if Linda Whorely goes to prison, Jim can get a decent wife- maybe Ellen, and have more kids with her!

So the author decided that all of the comments blasting her story we're just silly male egoI.. So She decided to throw it in the lectual shut fit and go the other way in the extreme..

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Clueless

This gets a chef's kiss from me.

I laughed at "Haim Weisel". Good that authors are finally clapping back at the most abusive commenters.

No doubt that even with the poignancy of the last line, the irony will still be lost on them. They'll just post more of their rabid chauvinistic commentary because they're too fragile to admit wrong or laugh at themselves.

5*

Hiam Wiesel? That’s a pretty clever dig. But any story, even a tongue in cheek piece that ends with LaVallerie with a bullet in his head is a good story for me.

However much you want to be ironic about it, however much you use sarcasm, the fact is, that story was bad as it could be, and while you might claim to be a newbie, you certainly went out of your way to have your own take on a very well known LW story that is years old btw.

Decent, but you ended it way to quickly. What happens next? Do the police go after Linda or do they discover the truth and go after Jim, or maybe it was someone else?

At least the bad guy got what he deserved.

I'm guessing your tongue is firmly embedded in your cheek on this one. If your'e going to submit stories on Lit let me encourage you to write what you want the way you want. Feedback will be good and bad no matter what you do. Most of the negative folks have never tried to write a story so let that roll off your back as much as you can. Listen to the serious & polite feedback even if it is critical. Forget the rest, especially the rants!

You're getting better, but still no ending... yet.

You seem to be implying that women have better places to be, and better values to enjoy, than freedom and justice at the bar.

<>

Most men disagree. Even the scriptural book of Proverbs says (in a way), that if you can’t trust your wife, don’t spend time with her.

<>

Forasmuch as you got right in this little ditty, you’re still below “C” level in your treatment of men.

<>

But you really do communicate well. So far, you’re entertaining.

A cheap and terrible story line. Killing the cad is a simple and cheap ploy because it requires no imagination, drama or other effort by the author. Moreover, we should not celebrate vigilante killing of knaves because seducing women is not a capital crime in our society. Should running a red light be considered a capital crime as well because someone is pissed at such conduct? Once you eliminate Marc's murder there is nothing to the story.

I lost interest, didn't have any buildup to me anyway.

Well, I still think that you're a mediocre writer at best and I still pity your hubby, but I do appreciate a keen ability at sarcasm. Enough to give you 5 stars as a one time gesture of adulation for the level of satirical sass in this remix.

Now please, go forth and torture us no more with your drivel.

I get it. You tried to atone for your mistake. But you were not clever enough to let it go. You had to show everyone that you are a superior, man-hating bitch.

Hooked

Is some of it missing?

Troll

Ummmmm……..

This was junk. I'm sorry but it's true.

@Hooked1957. "You had to show everyone that you are a superior, man-hating bitch."

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And with your comment, you had to show everyone that you are an inferior, woman-hating bastard.

Do everyone a favor and find a grimy slug-infested gutter to die in. That's where you belong, you stupid fool.

So, you spent a lot of your "creativity" writing that inner slut manifesto and received a lot of negativity. (Aside from the anonymous & not so anonymous cucky boys here.)

And this cut and paste job was meant to redeem yourself?

Yeah I can see your husband is probably on par with the MC in the February Sucks story.

Nice short ending. Way better. Also as dark as it may be, this was more realistic. Crime of passion, rage. People go off the deep end after being tormented inside, usually to take it out on the ones that caused the pain.

Ahhh yes, the folks who comment in LW have to be the most brutal at Lit. Just gota luv em

Good enuf ending for the womanizing asshat.

A follow to the Loving Wives section comment. In this section an author will get a lot of readers, however if you look the postings for the past week in the section, not one story had an average star of 4.5 or better to earn a "H". Just sayin' the folks here are the toughest audience at Lit.

From the POV of the homicide detective investigating Marc's murder. Interviewing dozens, if not hundreds of married women the deceased has seduced, each waxing nostalgic about their wonderful weekend with the famous athlete. Interrogating dozens if not hundreds of angry, seething husbands or exes saying, "No, I didn't shoot him, but I wish I had." Perhaps culminating in the arrest of Jim, followed by a hundred men rising up in the trial court and insisting that they did it.

Not sure the point of this overreaction to negative feedback. The previous story got negative feedback, learn to accept it and grow from it rather then lashing out at your critics. Some of there to beat you down yes but many are going to offer their criticism in the hopes that you grow as a writer. You dipped your toe in the divisive February Sucks pool and got burned but thats not a bad thing. Such a divisive story you can learn from what does work and what doesn't. You aren't a bad writer, reread your version of the FebSucks and didn't think it was badly written even if you tried to make Linda too much of the hero with no real remorse and tried to make Marc not seem like such a bad guy. It was a minefield you had to know you were stepping in and it exploded. But again, not a bad thing, its a learning experience if you let it. Unfortunately from this story I think you didn't learn from it.

Haha!! Hooked1957, OMG! Dead on. I was one of those "Anons" she talked about in the prologue. I really, really tried to be nice. My version of "February Sucks" is being edited right now, so i can't really throw stones from a glass house. I will say some of these authors (both men and women) seemed to have been really raked over the coals in their actual lives. BTW, the bar was devoid of women, because they were home cleaning and cooking dinner. Primping themselves up for their husbands return. Getting the newspaper all tucked into his favorite chair, and putting just the right amount of chill on that bottle of white, just the way he likes it!

Is there a story here? 1/5

Short, sweet, and to the point. Critics of her previous GA add-on, please take note.

No better than the first attempt! 1 star

Sorry dude as sweet as I think you are, you arent my type. I prefer women.

And yes, while I am to be memorialized for ions now, sadly it has to be attached to your name and your cuck friends.

Rest assured that much is a given, you are no virgin here, you're a member of the retread clique, you arent a woman, and while you eat another mans cum you still wont admit what a gay wanker you are.

And this story literally gives it away, dumb ass.

Your prelude was almost as long as your story. When you have a dud, you let it sit. Then you write another story you hope is better. Read it a few times and decide if it is one you would like to read. If the answer is yes, submit it. beta readers help give you a feel. i have a few stories in my drafts, my beta readers told me 'did nothing for them' or 'missed the mark'.

I loved the sarcasm in this story. The pen, in this case keyboard, is mightier than the sword. Even though I didn't like how you ended The Details Matter. It wasn't because of Jim staying with his wife, it was because you ended with Jim walking in and that's it. I truly think you have a talent for writing, unfortunately LW is a tough category to post in. Don't give up.

Pay no mind to to the trolls & bots. They miss the point of this site.

This one was spot on for the simple fact that I know no husband could pull this off in real life. But in the mind of many burned husbands, they dream of being able to do something similar.

And, the humorous way you portrayed it put a smile on my face.

Nobody’s Perfect. YouKeep ‘em coming and you will keep improving

Thank you…

I didn’t like the ending of the previous story, but I thought the writing and characterization were really good, and I looked forward to more of this new writer’s perspective. I like the sarcastic intro of this story - it’s funny and the observations are fair. But the story itself is just snide and insulting to readers. I know there are lot of idiots who submit ridiculous comments, but please write for the people who are looking for intelligent fiction, which is what you seem to be capable of. This story is beneath you.

To "someoneother",

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Tell me. If someone ran the red light on purpose and t-boned your car, the car in which your family was riding, resulting in many broken bones and blood loss. Your youngest spends months in a coma, your other child loses his right foot due to his injuries.

.

Your family will never be the same and johnny law, looking to do the rich man a favor, just shrugs and mumbles something about "shit happens"... so there is no justice. You know this rich kid has a history of speeding and running lights and couldn't care less about how your family will forever be diminished due to his reckless and arrogant behavior.

.

Tell me: knowing this rich kid has no intention of changing his ways and that many families in the future will suffer the way yours did, is the death penalty still off the table, or does it seem a fitting punishment for someone so cruel and self-absorbed?

Dumb. But thanks for trying.

I got lost in the intro. You wrote about going into deprogramming therapy.... no need. ANON does hate everything. Don't take it personal. Just remember Churchill's remarks to Bessie Braddock, and apply it to writing.

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Luckily I went right to the story and.... wow!! Solid gold! Tight, neat and compact. Like the grouping on a paper target. 5/5!!!

Brilliant!

3 stars - just an average 'Burn the ASSHOLE' story nothing new or unique.

However, I am glad you chose to capitulate rather than continue in that other horrid line of stories.

Keep at it - I like your style. EVERY single LW cheating story gets eviscerated, so don't feel like you're being picked on. The anonymous 1* brigade are just wannabe writers that can't do it themselves.

Enjoyed it - looking forward to future stories

Well thank you for the follow up but honestly this did nothing for the story. A Lit pro only got there coz of the effort into follow up. Like you original story, details do matter. We care what happened between Jim and Linda after we last saw them. Details.

3.47 average score with 11,500 reads and 66 comments

Gee, I guess this witty sarcasm is just as popular as you last attempt.

Strike two.

This was terrible. Even, as some had noted, it was just a sarcastic tale, it is a terrible sarcastic tale. FS:tDM, was a much better written story.

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Pasqual

You are not as clever as you think you are. Not by half. Letting people live rent free in your head is no way to live. Insulting your readers is no way to write. The therapy you mentioned, not a bad idea. Explore why anonymous people bother u so much. One reason might be your stories are not that good and u r transferring blame for that.

Stories like this prove women really have nothing worth listening to

I still dislike your writing BUT you are getting a little better

So my curiosity got the better of me and I came back to have another look, and I have to say I really liked it, even despite it being linked to the FS nonsense. This small subplot could be applied to many different stories so I basically ignored what went before and simply enjoyed reading about an arsehole getting his just deserts. I'm not a fan of violence and I certainly don't feel adultery deserves a death sentence, but in the case of Marc I'll make an exception. Now perhaps you could balance the scales and find a sensible and believable way to punish Linda. You know, something that'll hurt but also have the BTB mummy's boys gnashing and snarling 😁

Bravo! Loved the first version and this one was well done too. The first one may have infuriated the anonymous trogs but this one will go right over their heads. Keep up the good work.

It's time to send Separation papers to you. 1*

Yeah mon, that’s the way yo doing. Fiva Stars mon.

Mazarf Akar