Expanding Our Horizons Ch. 02

After everyone had sufficiently cooled down, Jake announced he was ready to hit the sack. Everyone nodded their assent, and he headed downstairs to pull out the heavy, thick air mattress they used for guests, leaving the other three in the bedroom to relax. He grabbed his clothes from the living room and put them on first; the night had become slightly chilly, and he felt a little silly walking around with his dick wagging in the cool air.

After he had blown up the air mattress and found bedding to go with it, he climbed back up the stairs and headed for the bedroom. As he approached the doorway, he heard the others talking, and once again found himself up against the wall, listening. He immediately felt guilty for trying to eavesdrop, but also felt if there was nothing to hide, there was nothing wrong with listening in.

"That was amazing," Ashley said.

"Yeah." That was Jana. "I've never felt so thoroughly fucked in my life."

Rob chimed in. "Are you sure Jake is okay? I don't want things to get weird?" At lest Rob had his back.

Jake heard Jana laugh. "He's fine, Rob. We talked about it, and he was okay with it. Besides, I know he really likes fucking Ashley. And I love fucking your big cock."

Jake's shoulders slumped, and he felt his jealousy bubbling to the surface again. He tried to control it before it controlled him, but thoughts of Jana enjoying another man more than him threatened to derail him mentally. Plus, even though he enjoyed being with Ashley, he had never said anything like your pussy is so tight, or anything to imply she felt better than Jana. There was nothing he could do about his size; either he'd have to just try to be the best lover he could, or he'd have to constantly live in fear of Jana always wanting someone bigger. There really was no choice when he thought about it like that; he'd rather shove any insecurities aside than live in a constant state of paranoia. That would only serve as a sure-fire way to ruin their marriage. Hopefully, Jana meant what she said about her heart belonging to him.

He took some deep breaths as he leaned against the wall, and finally felt he had regained his composure. Right as he was getting ready to shove himself off the wall and walk into the bedroom, he heard Jana say one other thing.

"I really hope we can do this again. It feels so good to be with someone new."

Jake froze in place. He didn't hear a response from rob or Ashley, but her statement about being with someone new chilled him to his core. It was one thing to enjoy being with other people, but to say it like that implied that she was bored with him sexually. He felt his jealousy, which had once receded, start to flare up again, and with it this time was anger.

Jake was not a temperamental person; in fact, he prided himself on being rather laid back. Jana had never really given him cause to feel angry up until just now. He could hardly believe what he heard; until that moment, he might have felt twinges of jealousy, but had never really had doubts about their marriage. However, if she was bored with him now, after only being married a short while, how could she last an entire lifetime of being with him? Did he have reason to worry? Would he have to think about her being like Rob's ex, who took every opportunity to flirt with, and possibly fuck other men? Would she think she now has a free pass because he let her be with someone else? These questions swirled around in his mind to the point he actually felt numb. After a few more deep breaths, he steeled himself and shoved off from the wall. He didn't want to make a scene with their friends here; the inevitable confrontation would have to wait until morning.

He walked into the room and saw them lying there, all three huddled up on the bed together, with Jana's arm draped over Rob's midsection, and Ashley's draped over her. For a moment, he just wished the whole issue didn't bother him, and they could all just be intimate without these petty feelings of jealousy rising up within him. That's really all they were; jealousy did nothing but ruin things, breaking up relationships and driving people mad. But those feelings could be incredibly difficult to dismiss. For now, he'd have to do just that.

"I set you guys up downstairs," he said to Ashley and Rob. "You should have enough pillows and blankets to keep you warm; plus, you have each other." He said that last part with a grin, trying to lighten his own mood.

"Thanks Jake," Rob said, extricating himself from the tangle of flesh. As he passed by, he bumped Jake's fist. "For everything."

Yeah, you owe me at least that much, Jake thought to himself. He watched as Ashley lifted her naked body off the bed and walked toward him.

Ashley walked up to him and gave him a hug, kissing him on the neck and whispered in his ear, "let me know if you need to talk." She kisses him on the lips and walked out.

"Quite the night, eh?" He said to Jana as he took off his jeans and got into bed next to her. She lay there a moment more, and then pushed the blankets down and got under them.

"Yeah," she said back to him, and draped her arm over his chest after he laid down. "Are you okay with everything?"

He thought for a few moments before responding. This was an opportune moment for him to bring up his issues, but maybe he should wait - after all, an argument now would only make the night end on a bad note, and everything so far was enjoyable, at least for the three of them. Ashley seemed to sense his trepidation toward what had occurred, but then again, she was a woman, and probably didn't understand the issue of 'size envy' like guys did. Jake didn't understand or even think of it either until tonight. None of his previous few lovers had ever complained about his progress, or lack of, in bed. Not that Jana was complaining, but obviously she knew and felt the difference.

He decided to wait until morning. Nothing good would come of it tonight. "I think so," he responded back to her." He hadn't meant to sound so unsure, but he also didn't want to sound like he was enthusiastic about the situation either. It was the best he could do for striking some kind of middle ground.

"You think so?" Of course, Jana called him out. It was just not in her nature to let things lie still. "I was hoping for a 'yes.'"

It was too late to turn back now. "Babe, this is all new to me, you know? It's every guy's fantasy to be with two women, but not every guy wants to return the favor. I thought it was the right thing to do, but now I'm dealing with the confusing feelings that accompany that decision. Seeing you with another man, even a friend of mine, was just a little weird for me I guess. And you really seemed to enjoy that."

His emphasis within the last statement did not go unnoticed.

"And you didn't really enjoy fucking Ashley?"

Jake sighed. He knew this was a bad idea. Should've waited until morning. But would it have turned out any better?

"I did enjoy it. But I was also conscious about not making you feel like she was better than me. How did you say it? 'Fuck me with your big cock,' I believe it was? Or maybe it was the 'it feels so good to be with someone new' statement that really got me." He didn't realize the venom he dripped from his recollection until after it left his mouth. He cringed internally, knowing that this was going somewhere he hadn't intended, at least not tonight.

Jana's mouth dropped open, and she stared at him, the anger flaring up in her eyes. Jake felt terrible. He hadn't wanted to even bring this up but, on the flip side, maybe it was best to deal with it now and get it over with. He didn't like feeling like he was verbally attacking her though; he truly loved his wife, and didn't want this venture of theirs to ruin the marriage. It was too late to take it back now. Perhaps, if he had given it more thought, he could have been slightly more diplomatic about it, but instinct often took him over at the worst times.

"What, were you spying on me?"

Now it was his turn to be angry. "Spying? In my own home? Was I supposed to stay downstairs until you were done telling Rob how much you enjoyed fucking his big cock? I might not be as big as him, but at least I didn't tell Ashley how tight she was, or emphasize how fucking great she was in bed!" He suddenly felt deflated, like a weight had come off his shoulders. "I always tried to be the best lover I could, Jana, but some things I just cannot change. We should go to bed now, before I any more stupid shit. I love you, but I've never felt more inadequate than I do right now."

He rolled over onto his side, facing away from her. He didn't hear or feel her lay down. As he tried to go to sleep, he could hear her sniffling next him, which made his heart ache. He felt bad for tearing into her, but the devil on his shoulder told him she deserved it.

--------------------------

The next morning came quickly, and luckily without a hangover. Jake stood up out of bed, and looked at the other side, but Jana wasn't there. He pattered downstairs slowly, his mind still reeling from the previous night, afraid of what he'd be walking into when he found everyone. Instead, he just found an empty house. The mattress had put been away, and all evidence of their company last night was cleaned up.

After starting the coffeemaker, he noticed a piece of paper sitting on the kitchen counter. It had only one sentence: WENT TO ASHLEY'S.

Great, he thought to himself. He went about his morning routine, completing some simple chores and grabbing breakfast, before settling in to watch a show on TV.

Hours passed by, and still no word from Jana. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear from her just yet. He felt like an ass for reaming her out last night, but still felt at least partially justified.

His phone buzzed, jolting him from his thoughts. He let out a deep breath, and pulled it from his pocket.

It wasn't her.

Jake, I hope you're not upset with me after reading this. Jana is here with Ashley and I. We took her with us to Ashley's apartment - she said you knew. She also said you were okay with the three of us being together without you - sexually - but I felt strange about it. We went back to sleep for a bit after coming here; it was a late night after all. I woke up and she was... sucking me off. I tried to get her stop, but honestly, by the time I realized what was going on, and that it wasn't Ashley doing it, it was too late. I'm sorry, Jake. I hope you don't hate me. We talked to her and she finally admitted you and she were having some fallout from last night. If I had known it was going to cause issues, I never would have let it happen, but I'm only human. She's begging us not to take her home yet, and honestly I'm not sure that's a good idea anyhow, considering that you're probably not happy after reading this. Jake, you're only if my only good friends at work, and I truly don't want shit to get weird between us, but now I'm not sure how you'll feel. I know I'm a coward for texting and not calling, but...well.. I guess I am just a coward. Call me if you want.

Jake read Rob's text a few more times, his heart beating fast and his mind spinning. How did it end up like this? And his wife...what the hell was Jana thinking? Was this some kind of revenge shit, sucking off his friend to get even for his comments last night? How did it go from 'you always have my heart,' to blowing his friend without him knowing? His thoughts swirled around in his brain as he sat there, and after twenty minutes of staring into space, he still hadn't reached any kind of conclusion. He didn't know whether to be angry with Rob or not. Whether to hate Jana for what he did, or just consider it all part of the venture he had willingly been a part of. He had instigated the whole situation with Rob and Ashley, but now it was getting out of hand, and he didn't know how to feel.

Another hour passed by, and no further word from any of them, but he hardly expected that. Rob probably thought he was pissed and, while that wasn't an unreasonable assumption, he wasn't even sure he was. Rob was a good guy, and Jake believed him when he said he didn't try to start anything with Jana. What about Ashley? How did she react? How should he react for that matter? His instincts told him this was unacceptable behavior, but his heart told him he should try to salvage his marriage.

After a while, he knew he needed to talk to someone. Maybe not any of the parties involved in this situation though. Someone impartial, who could give him an unbiased point of view. He decided to call his friend Matt. He had known Matt since childhood, but time and different paths through life had separated them somewhat. On top of that, Matt came out to him when they were in their mid-teens, admitting his sexual preference in a time where being gay had just started to really have a major effect on Matt's life. Jake had taken the news well, but instinctively felt somewhat different about Matt after that point, mainly because it's one thing they definitely didn't have in common. However, they had maintained their friendship throughout the years, albeit only seeing each other a few times a year. He was the perfect person to provide Jake with a neutral opinion.

Matt answered on the first ring. "Jake? How the hell are ya?"

"Hey, man. I'm okay, I guess. You have a few minutes?"

"Of course. I was just in the middle of...something... but I always have time for you." Matt must have put his hand over the microphone then, because he heard some muffled talking, and then he was back. "What's up?"

Jake smirked, knowing he had inadvertently caught Matt in a compromising situation. He didn't know why that was so humorous to him, but he appreciated the fact that Matt was willing to sit his agenda aside for him.

"I...um...well, I'm just gonna come out and say it," he fumbled through the introduction, not knowing how to begin.

"You finally realized you're gay, and in love with me?"

"Very fucking funny."

"Sorry, you kinda left it open there."

"I got myself into a situation, I guess you could say. Jana and I had sex with other people." It felt bad saying it like that, but there was no other way Jake could think of to lead into the conversation without just getting down to it.

"Okay." Matt sounded completely unaffected.

"Well, that's the meat of the matter. And I don't really know how to feel about it. Of course I was okay with having sex with another woman, but I was unprepared for my feelings when I returned the favor." Jake explained the events of the night, leaving nothing out. It felt good to get it off his chest.

There was a moment of silence, and then a heavy sigh. "You straight men always get so jealous over shit like this. It's just sex, Jake."

Jake knew he was right. But his pride still hurt, knowing Jana seemed to enjoy Rob more than him. How do you explain that do a guy who feels no jealousy?

"So if you had a partner, and watched him have sex with someone else, while sounding like he was enjoying it more than he does with you, that wouldn't make you jealous in the slightest?"

"You sound like you're confusing sex with love. Does she love Rob?" Matt didn't wait for a reply. "No, she loves you, right? So, that's what should matter to you. So, if you truly love this woman, doesn't it bring you joy watching her enjoy herself? Knowing that you're the catalyst to her having an experience she couldn't otherwise have?"

"I suppose so, but-"

"But nothing, Jake. You're watching the woman you love enjoy herself. You made that happen for her. She probably loves you even more because of it."

Jake didn't respond. Matt was right, but then there was the issue of this morning. He had left that but out of the conversation so far. He explained it to Matt, letting him know that it felt like a violation of his trust, when the current feelings he had were still tender.

"Well, Jake, that's kinda on you, too."

"What?"

"You didn't explain the terms of this venture, as you call it. If you want to set this straight, sit down with her and explain that there are rules to what you're allowing each other to do. For example, you both are not allowed to engage in sexual activity with others without you both being present, since that's what's bothering you. Personally, I like hearing about these things secondhand. It's like reading an erotic story; you get to hear the exploits of your partner, and possibly regale her with tales of your own experiences."

Jake thought about it for a second, but he didn't know if he wanted Jana to have carte blanche to fuck whoever she wanted. "If that were the case, what's the point of being married?"

"Because that's what she comes home to you every night!"

"I suppose so, but maybe I just have more traditional beliefs of marriage."

"Jake, if you were completely traditional, you wouldn't have allowed this to happen in the first place. But, if it bothers you so much, then you have three choices: divorce, stay married but call off the extramarital adventures, or stay married and have some fun. The problem is, now that you've experienced other partners, can you go back to normal without having issues? You've opened a Pandora's box, and it's thought to just close it up and move on."

"What would you do?" Jake was truly curious for his opinion. He needed not just advice, but guidance.

"Well, you're probably asking the wrong guy for that kind of guidance," Matt laughed, "personally, I enjoy watching my partner fucking other people. I'm proud that my partner is the one making them feel so good, and happy I get to see others making him feel good. For me, it's a win-win situation. But then again, I don't have the burden of being so deeply in love. Love makes you do stupid shit."

Jake laughed at the last remark, only because it was true. "Thanks, Matt. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk some sense into me."

"So, what are you going to do?"

And that was the million dollar question. Should he let her lapse in judgment this morning go unchallenged? Should he call her out, but ultimately welcome her back with open arms? He felt his trust was abused and violated, and that she should've had more sense than to think that was okay. Or, was it a revenge of sorts for his comments the night before? Ugh, he was still unsure of how to treat this. But he knew he had to talk to her eventually. The question was whether he should be forgiving or upset, and he really wasn't sure to which side he was leaning.

"I'm still not sure, to be honest. What she did this morning feels less like a misunderstanding, and more like a grudge."

"Jake, do you still love her?"

"Of course. I'll never stop."

"Do you want to stay married to her?"

"Yeah."

"Then you have to forgive her. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to like what she did, or even be okay with it if that's how you feel. But you have to look past it in order to move on. Otherwise, you'll end up resenting her, and that's not conducive to a healthy marriage."

Jake sighed, realizing he was right. If he wanted to stay happily married, he'd have to get over this, one way or another.

"You're right," he conceded.

"Of course I am."

"Cocky bastard!"

Matt laughed. "But that's why you love me, right? Listen, I have to go man. But it was great chatting with you. Don't be a stranger."

"Alright, thanks Matt. I think I know what I'm gonna do."

"Good man. Bye, Jake."

"Bye."

He waited a few minutes, then picked his phone back up and started typing out a response to Rob's text.

Hey Rob. I know you wouldn't try to do anything like that to betray me. I said some things to Jana last night that were probably uncalled for, and she was likely distraught and not thinking clearly. If anything, it's my fault for pushing her over that edge. I don't hate you, or her. Please tell her I'll be over in a bit. Thanks.