Family Issues Ch. 12

"His trial has been dragging for three years, and you're the first visitor he ever had."

"Good."

The officer looked surprised by the response but didn't comment on it. "You're not in his visitors' list. You'll need to fill a visitor's application first, and I'll have to check with him if he wants to see you. We don't usually do that sort of thing on such short notice."

Half an hour later Kevin sat waiting at the table on a rigid white plastic chair. Families and inmates around him were eating meals they'd bought from the jail's vending machines. You weren't allowed to bring your own food in due to fear of contraband, mainly drugs. Kevin's table was empty. He didn't feel like indulging the man who was about to arrive. Twice he stood up, thinking to bolt, but then he sat down, determined.

The inmate's eyes had remained the same as Kevin had remembered them. Blue and clear, comforting. They could make you feel safe without a word spoken. Other than that, nothing about him was familiar. There was grey in his long locks and a lot more wrinkles than Kevin remembered. But that wasn't it. Maybe it was in his shoulders, maybe it was in his walk, Kevin wasn't sure, but the proud lion he remembered looked defeated. Lost without a cause to drive him on. Like a man whose true love died in a car accident, or a pastor without a flock.

He sat down on the plastic chair opposite Kevin, and for a few moments they just stared at each other. There was a torrent of emotions showing on that old face, but none that Kevin had hoped to see. "Hello, son."

"I'm not your son."

"You are, and you always will be."

"You're just a sperm donor, Pastor. Finn O'Brien is my real father."

Pastor Roy shook his head. "I remember the day I told you the truth."

"I wish you never had."

"You were so proud."

"I was seventeen. An idiot. I worshiped Mom, and Mom worshiped you, and I was too naïve to see the truth about you. About you both. "

Roy closed his eyes. When he opened them they were two pools of sorrow. "I'm so sorry about your mother, Kevin. I've never had the chance to tell you how much." His voice was full of pain, and Kevin almost felt a pang of sympathy. Almost. "I miss her every day, with every breath I take. I wish I could turn back the clock and—"

"So do I." Kevin cut him off. He hadn't come for sympathy or bonding. "But time only ticks forward. What you and Mom did cannot be undone. You're right. I was really proud the day you told me the truth. Everyone back home used to make fun of Finn thanks to you. You made me ashamed that he was my father."

"I never meant for you to disrespect him."

"He's a million times more man than you'll ever be, Pastor. You know, Mother always talked about kindness, but she was so cruel to him. Dad never talked about kindness—he was simply kind. You used to preach about family values, but you banged another man's wife behind his back and never lifted a finger to support your unwanted son. Dad never preached. He simply took a child that wasn't his and raised him as his own. Between Mom, you, and Dad, I know who I want to be like when I grow up." Kevin fought the tears that were choking his throat. He wouldn't give this man the pleasure of seeing any emotion other than the one he deserved. "I've heard you don't get any visitors, Roy. Laura doesn't want to see you?"

"Kevin, I—"

"I guess your daughter has enough reasons to hate you, probably almost as many as I do."

"Do you hate me, Kevin?"

Kevin inhaled deeply. He was ten, peeking through the restaurant's door at this man kissing his mother. He was seventeen and riding in a truck with Justin Murphy, watching an empty church burning in the distance. Roy told them that God was in favor of it—the priest in that church had given a pro-gay-rights speech. The last memory was the most painful. His dad collapsing from a heart attack during Ben's funeral. "Do I hate you, Roy? Really? I hate you with every bone in my body. With every breath I take. You ruined my family, my father, my mother, my little brother. Everything that stinks in my life starts right here, with you."

"Why did you come then?"

"I really don't know what I expected to find. Not every man gets to meet his personal demons face to face. It's a privilege. Why did you come? You could have stayed in your cell."

"It gets very lonely in that cell. It allows a lot of time to reflect, to regret the past. I'm a changed person. I wanted to see you and tell you that, son."

"I'm not your son." Kevin raised his voice, and one of the guards turned, quizzical. Kevin breathed deeply for almost a minute before he continued. "Wanna know why I wanted to see you? I wanted to see you, so I could tell you that I have a futanari girlfriend now. Her name is Helen."

Pastor Roy stared at him, his face unreadable.

"Yep, your own flesh and blood is a sodomite. Taking it up the back door, Pastor, and loving it." Kevin winked at Roy, hoping it was the cruelest gesture. "All the prep talks, all the gay hatred, all the xenophobia, futaphobia, transphobia, and bigotry went down the drain."

"I've seen the news about the trial." Roy reached out, but Kevin pulled back, as if the devil himself was trying to touch him. "We're allowed to watch TV here. I know about you and Helen. But I was under the the impression that her sister was your girlfriend."

"She was, but things happened. Me and Helen fell in love. I fell in love with a futanari. Do you still feel like calling me 'son', Roy?"

"Your Helen is on trial for murder."

Kevin laughed, but there was little joy in it. "No, you're a murderer, Pastor. She's...Helen is the opposite of you. She's so brave, and kind, and beautiful all over, inside and out. She didn't do any of the things they say she did."

"Do you love her?"

"With every breath I take."

"Does your girlfriend with the futanari gene know you were a soldier in God's Army?"

"I wasn't. I was...I was only...I thought that being one of your little soldiers was what Mom wanted. I wanted her to be proud. But I was never about hating. Too bad it took me a dead mother and a dead brother to see the truth about you. Did you ever wonder, Roy, how come the police found the guns that shot those boys so quickly?"

The pastor sighed. "I knew it was you, even back then. I knew why you ran off to get your degree half a country away from home. I know whose fault it is that I'm here. Doesn't really matter."

Kevin laughed. "My fault? Really? Jesus Christ almighty. The reason you're here is that your hateful club killed two boys. Two boys whose only sin was that they decided to come out of the closet and declare their love to each other. You're here because of the futanari church your Army of God burned to the ground in Austin and that poor pastor who was made a cripple. For the firebomb in Dallas. For that poor lesbian girl who committed suicide in Kentucky, and that trans woman your soldier beat to a pulp near Atlanta. For all the destruction you've brought on people whose only fault was that they were born outside your tiny hateful world. That's why you're here, and you'll stay here for the rest of your miserable life, alone. And you'll have plenty of time to reflect on the evil that you are. Army of God? Did God ever give you permission to spread so much hate in his name?"

"Kevin."

"You murdered her mother."

"I've never murdered anyone."

Kevin nodded. "No, you were enough of a snake to keep your hands clean. You had your soldiers do the dirty work, but it doesn't keep the blood off your hands. You murdered Helen's mother. Her name was Fabienne."

Roy stared at his son as if he'd lost a few marbles.

"Ten years ago, in Phoenix. The Proposition Eight protest. A firebomb. Three people were killed, and one of them was Fabienne."

"That was Tom Murphy. He's in jail for life."

Kevin shook his head. "Tom Murphy was a stupid drunk who couldn't tell left from right. I know who poisoned his mind day in and day out. Telling him these people's purpose in life was to drag everyone to hell with them. Teaching him that gay people didn't deserve to live and certainly didn't deserve to have a family. Tom Murphy might have been the gun, but I know who pulled the trigger." He pointed at his biological father, and Pastor Roy shuddered.

"I'm a changed man, Kevin. The things I've done—"

"Everything rotten and evil starts here, with you, Roy. You loved to say that sodomy is the root of all evil, but I think...I think it's people like you." The tears were flowing freely now, but Kevin didn't care anymore. "And I've been thinking a lot lately. What would have happened if you weren't so obsessed with hating? If Helen's mother hadn't died, Helen wouldn't have joined the Marines, she wouldn't have been injured in Iraq, and...Helen and I wouldn't have met each other."

He wiped his cheek. "You used to say that God works in mysterious ways. Or maybe it's just poetic justice that it was you who brought her into my arms. In the end, it doesn't matter. You're a changed person? People like you never change, Roy. All you know is hate. It takes years to build a person, to make him feel valued and loved, and it takes no effort to hate and to reduce another human being to dust. But I'm nothing like you. I'm the opposite of you, Father. I'll fix everything. You'll see. I'll make everything that went wrong right again."

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To be continued...

The usual, you punch the stars and tell me that you care or that you hate me. Every time you leave a message a futanari's ___ gets longer by an inch.

Next chapter, final chapter. Hoorah