All Comments on 'Family Submission Pt. 03'

I'm sorry but the last turn into the future turned me off. Dave should have stepped up to take control and saved them.

I think I will never understand submissive types. On one hand they want to be humiliated and treated like objects and not like human beings but then still cry when they get exactly what they want. I mean, I dont know the story behind 'older Sarah and her daughters' at the end of the story but why is she even asking for help? Wouldnt she be happy to live out her days in a brothel, to stop feeling anything other than orgasms from being used? If the start of this chapter is any indication she doesnt feel much for other people, even family, if she is not used by them.

I understand. After part 2 I asked for comments for the direction of the story. The rating went down and I received 1 comment. So, I decided to dovetail this into my other series. I knew it would not be a popular decision. I like the character of Sarah and wanted to write her deeper. I’m also planning something different. I want to write three series that run concurrently, in the same universe, from three perspectives. Sarah is the 2nd main character we will follow. This and part 4 are written to shift Sarah into the new narrative and fill in the story. Her training with Ronald is the first introduction to the 3rd series that I’ll write. That will be coming. I’m going back to my usual themes. I hope out of the three you can find something you like. Thanks for the comment. I always appreciate it.

I liked the story except for the last scene. Stay in the present not the future. Sarah and her mother have at least 2 or 3 years to serve these men and should be developed. I thought Sarah was now on birth control and I assume her mother was too so that issue is solved I hope. I liked the daily shaving routine and the conditioning. I think that everything is in play now that all the women in this exclusive club need to be permanently marked as slaves either a brand or a tattoo this will further add to the clubs control and the women's submission.

Good twist to the story at the end there. It may not be where people wanted it to go but it keeps it interesting. Look forward to seeing what happens next in your expanding universe.

You all are jumping the gun. If you read my other stories you know I jump forward, but don’t always stay there. Sarah is retelling her story. We just see who she’s telling it to and why.

Most stories on here run linear. They start and stop along one timeline. Also, don’t mistake the jump to the future for the end. We have many more chapters left.

The suggestion of branding is planned, but you’ll have to read all three series to see it all. Those are Santo Diablo, Family Submission, and the new one not posted yet; Crimson. The next chapters of Santo Diablo and Family Submission will come next. After that the first chapter of Crimson will land.

I loved the forced mother-daughter. Very hot and very well written.

I was hoping Dave would step up and take charge along with the two friends that moved in. I always like mother/daughter very hot. That could have still happen with Dave and friends. As always, very good writing.

This went wrong when Dave lost his way, or just as importantly, did not find his way. He is incredibly underused, he has no real character arc, and that is a problem in this category. His mother could have helped him, his sister could have told him what she needed, or it could have been a project with his best friend. He could have been inspired by his friend's actions at the frat house and worked on himself, so he could take care of family matters. Lindsey not taking more charge of Sarah was a miss, and Dad letting too many people in was also a miss.

There is no one way this HAD to go, except family growth together, or character growth arcs as they separate as most siblings/ too-close relations must, in the end.

The family and incest part of this, where people grow closer in taboo, romance, eroticism or growing their future together is gone.

You are an interesting writer, clearly you get readers' attention, as I have given thought to your work!

Good luck!