by wildflower2176
give the characters more depth, it will help you attract readers. Will read part 2
love a most mind control stories this is going well keep up the great work mate.
Gonna be honest: WAY too blunt. It reads like a bulletin board of ideas. Also, the method of mind control is very jumbled. He gave them a potion at the start but then he apparently uses some random mind control power later? And really, Dr. Mysterio? Kind of hard to take him seriously with a name like that...
This is silly funny smut, I’d like it was more subtle but sometimes all we need is a not so deep story