Feelings of Inadequacy: Minh Rose Ch. 05

The sound of her fingers tapping away at the coffee table echoed through the living room. None of the options she'd gotten were any better than what she'd gotten previously. Agreeableness had once again shown it's nasty face, in addition another option which seemed to be extremely similar had made it's way in there. Submissiveness. One began to wonder, what kind of creep had made these options? It was as though they all carried some degree of sexual undertones.

It's the third day of your new life! Please select up to two non-overlapping traits from each of the subjects. All options are based off of your initial preferred options.

David Chestnut:

Submissiveness

Intelligence

Agreeableness

Class

Dung Phan:

Style

BM

Submissiveness

Language

BM was still a mystery to Minh. Submissiveness and agreeableness were almost completely out of the question as well. The consequences of her previous selections were too grave to ignore. If she became any more submissive and agreeable now, surely her boss would get her to agree to things she REALLY didn't want to do. Picking any of the two was basically synonymous with cheating on her husband at this point. This left her with only two options from her father. Intelligence and Class. She'd deduced previously that the estimated loss of IQ would be around 20. She hadn't taken a test since last time however, so that estimate was a very rough guess. She could feel her thoughts moving slower, some things felt out of reach entirely. As a previously proud member of mensa, at 137 IQ Minh believed to have fallen down to about 120. With another hit like that she'd lose any intellectual edge she possessed over the "common person". Surely a person like that would never have made it as far as her.

She'd come to a cross road. Even before looking at the options from her grandmother a life altering crisis had presented itself, now it'd become a question of values. Which did she value more, her career or marriage? The former Minh would probably have picked the career, but after a few rounds of changes already? The choice seemed infinitely harder. On one hand she figured that since this thing showed no signs of stopping any time soon she'd probably end up losing her job anyways. Her marriage could be held on to for longer though, and it'd probably by important for her sanity to have at least one anchor tethering her to reality. That anchor should probably be her husband, though completely unaware and unable to help her with the predicament, she could always ask him questions to better ease her into each reality shift.

With her mind mostly made up about her dad, she moved on to her grandmother

Submissiveness appeared once again, which basically locked her down to two of the three other options. Language could be dangerous, but also a perk. Either she'd learn Vietnamese in addition to her English, or it'd replace her English. BM was still an unknown, she'd prefer have at least some idea what the different options meant before picking. She would however pick it over submissiveness and agreeableness any day of the week. And if she did pick intelligence this time around she'd probably want to refrain from doing so again later, making BM climb another spot on the "potential scapegoats list". Style was a no-brainer. She'd picked it last time around and not noticed anything different.

The clock had already rounded one, meaning she'd spent the better part of an hour pondering her options. She could always head to bed and do it in the morning, but the thought of waking up to a changed world was slightly more comforting than reality rewriting itself around her.

"Alright, that seems to be the best course of action" She was in no way sure about her list, but it didn't matter. Something had to be selected and she was not keen on postponing any longer. Minh figured this was the least intrusive list of changes she could make.

With her options already selected, she went on into the bedroom and got undressed. Right as she laid her head on the pillow she hit submit, making sure that her eyes were closed until she fell asleep, barely able to resist the urge to look around to see if anything had actually changed yet.

David Chestnut:

Submissiveness

Intelligence*

Agreeableness

Class*

Dung Phan:

Style*

BM

Submissiveness

Language*

Any form of submissiveness and agreeableness was completely out of the question. She'd come dangerously close to being unfaithful already and wouldn't risk stepping over that holy line.

Intelligence was also a rather though pill to swallow, but her options left no other choice. Class was a nasty one as well, but not nearly as dangerous as the other three.

As for her grandmother, submissiveness had already been ruled out, and so it had been a question of whether she'd risk it on BM or not. Ultimately she decided against it, figuring language was and style were less of a hindrance. If by any chance language left her worse off than expected she could come around and consider BM at a later stage, given they were presented simultaneously.

Minh awoke the following day well rested. It was as though she'd never sat up late with the app at all. Perhaps in this version of reality she hadn't? Everything seemed to be just about the same around her. The room was the same, her husband was lying next to her, he also on first glance appeared to remain unchanged. Her mind didn't feel sluggish either. Maybe she'd not been affected after all, perhaps there was a lower limit to how far down she could go. Could it be that the effects didn't stack?

It wasn't like that, it wasn't like that at all. A mind can only take so much strain before it breaks. The forces at play here knew that all too well. Continuous alterations to the mind isn't a sustainable. The solution was to overwrite already existing elements, so when Minh felt as sharp as ever that was partly true. There never existed a reality where Minh had an IQ that would qualify her for Mensa. Her previous estimates were pretty accurate. The app had reduced her IQ from 137 to 115. The final change had changed that 115 down to a "measly" 95. Her new current IQ still put her only slightly bellow the 98 which was average for an American. As for Vietnamese-Americans, that statistic isn't easily available, even for an omniscient force.

In addition to completely losing any memories of ever having an IQ of over 115, Minh also had no recollection of attaining her promotion without sucking up to Harry. As a matter of fact, she quite liked Harry now. He was a good man who'd finally given her what she deserved, so what if she had to do a little extra to get there?

The usually proper lady had also been inflicted by her second "class" change, meaning she now leaned much more towards her father, who was notorious for not being the cleanest or best behaved person in public. Thankfully he'd been balanced out by his wife, who was perhaps too proper. Unfortunately for Minh, this hadn't been taken into account when altering her mind. Unless her husband suddenly became obsessed with appearing high class, she'd have no counterweight and would soon find herself acting a little..less refined.

"Good morning" She heard her husband groggily mutter as he lifted himself to a sitting position in bed.

"Good morning stud" Had she really just said that? The only change she had any hope of noticing and it was the language one. She'd figured it would be a change related to her English and Vietnamese heritage and language, not her speech? Little did she know it was both, but that remained to be discovered. In the meantime she tried to focus on her sentences, wondering exactly how far it really stretched.

"I'd love to stay in bed a little longer, but I've gotta go to fucking work on time today, there's this stupid meeting and.." she trailed off, caught off guard by her use of profanities. Her mother was very strict growing up, making sure that neither Minh nor her dad used any bad language. This habit of not cursing had stuck for her whole life, now she'd used the F bomb without hesitation. She also said meeting were stupid, which sounded a little childish to her. Fortunately this was all rather mundane. People swore all the time, if anything, this could be a good thing! Now she'd at least sound somewhat normal and not like a stuck up prude when talking to colleagues and friends. What a bright note to start the day on.

Arriving at work Minh was met with kind smiles all over. Everyone's opinion of her seemed to have changed for the better over night, even the women who despised her in the past seemed to like this new Minh. Maybe it was her less classy behavior which had made her less stuck up and easier to approach. That certainly would explain the female colleagues, given how she'd previously been all high and mighty with a "I'm better" attitude.

The men however were probably more focused on her clothes. Normally she'd dress very conservatively, only recently had she began wearing skirts, courtesy of the app's power. Today however she was wearing something rather daring. The skirt which normally would've been about knee length now only went as far down as right above mid thigh, bordering mini-status. Right under the hem of her skirt one could barely see where her stockings attached to the garters which were mainly hidden by her skirt. To finish off the look was a simple white shirt which had a few too many buttons undone, clearly showing off Minh's reduced bust. Most surprisingly of all was perhaps the makeup she was wearing. In contrast to her standard near-zero-makeup-policy she now had both eyeshadow and eyeliner expertly applied. The dark eyeliner really emphasized her Vietnamese features. The eyeshadow on the other hand was brighter than her skin tone. This package, paired with a light foundation and lipstick drew ones attention away from her cleavage and towards her face.

The only thing which could be considered lacking from her whole outfit would be earrings. She also wore no jewelry with the exception of her wedding ring of course.

She walked through from the elevators all the way over the her office at the far end. Along the way many of her employees wanted to chat with her. She felt much more social than usual, and whilst she normally would've dismissed their attempts at small talk she now fully welcomed it. It took her thirty minutes just to get from the elevators to her office! When she finally DID make her way there, she was met with an empty desk where her secretary usually would sit and wait for her like a loyal dog. Maybe she was out getting copies of some documents.

Upon entering her office one thing became immediately clear to her. Somehow the changes she'd selected the night prior had severely changed her taste in furniture and interior design. At least that's what she thought, until she noticed someone else sitting in HER chair. It wasn't her secretary who was playing make believe, it was a man. A man who previously served as her second in command.

"Ah, great! You're finally here. I needed the documents for our Chicago branch yesterday Minh! You got any idea how bad it'll make me look if they're not submitted by the end of the week?"

Minh was absolutely shook. He was treating her like a..secretary? HER?! A SECRETARY!? Impossible. NOT POSSIBLE. WHY WHY WHY!? Her mind was racing. She'd lost what? Some class and intelligence? A shift in her language? And the style of course. Which was the biggest offender? Being placed into a new life.. A new reality was horrifying. Having to learn about yourself from others, not knowing your position and relationship with others.

"Uhm.. Yes, Right away..Mr Richards" She paused on his name because she couldn't remember his last name. He'd just gone by XO when she referred to him, emphasizing the fact that he was SECOND in command. Now, she wasn't in command, she wasn't even second. She was as far down the ladder as one could come whilst still having a seat. The only people under her in the food chain were the cleaning personnel and janitors.

It was official now. She had definitely sacrificed her career for her husband. Perhaps she would learn to appreciate different things in life. As long as her husband brought in the big bucks they could still lead the same lifestyle. Given how their penthouse apartment seemed mostly unchanged she figured he was actually better off than before, considering how she was the one who'd previously paid down most of the costs for the apartment.

It didn't take long for Minh to feel completely overwhelmed. She imagined being a secretary would be easy, but it was anything but. With her reduced intelligence and complete lack of experience made her essentially useless. It didn't take long for Mr Richards to notice her lack of efficiency.

"Minh, what's up with you today? You've got, what, six unanswered calls? Where is your head at today? Get it together or go home if you're not feeling well" She didn't know which was more humiliating. Being a secretary, being incapable at doing a job she'd always considered to be braindead work. She felt as though she could cry. A part of her really wanted to perform at her job and not disappoint. Maybe it was her natural need to be good at everything she did, or perhaps it was her need to please others. Either way, she was having a horrible time trying to understand her tasks.

As if her prayers were heard by god, a notification popped up on her phone.

Having some issues with our new position, are we? Fret not, Here's a deal for you! Do you accept?

That godforsaken app. Of course it'd know if she was struggling. She looked at the deal she was offered and really had to think long and hard. Was it worth it? It would essentially mean surrendering even more of herself to perform in a position she wasn't guaranteed to keep indefinitely.

Minh looked at the options. It was like the daily selects, but clouded in mystery. Firstly, the keywords never mentioned which person they used as a template. The second unknown was the options themselves. She recognized BM because it'd appeared in previous lists. but the rest were all new.

You're having a hard time getting the ropes of what makes a good secretary. Here are some tools to help you make your boss happy an satisfied

+2 BM

+3 OS

+3 Secretary knowledge

+3 Secretary skill

+3 Movement

What the hell was OS? Operative system? Was she a robot? Or was it perhaps her ability to use the computer?

The unknowns were far from the biggest issue here though. With the numbers it was indicative of how many selections they were the equivalent of, there was 13 changes combined. Which was over three days with the app. It was a big decision for sure, fortunately they all seemed harmless. Except maybe the BM and OS ones, they could mean anything.

Either she took this trade, or she could find herself out of a job within the end of the week. It's not like losing her secretary job meant a lot to her, but the sad reality was that her education was gone, and her experience and skills were useless if she couldn't get a job which was similar to what she used to have.

Getting a job like the one she had would be impossible without a degree in the first place. She could try and kickstart her life again, get an education, but at that age she might as well retire. Her husband seemed to be the main provider anyway.

Looking at the options a second and a third time, Minh knew to separate skill and knowledge. One thing was to know the correct way to do something, the other was to apply that knowledge into actions. She'd often joke that the ones who had the knowledge but lacked the skill became teachers and professors.

Movement could mean a few things, but she figured it'd result in her movements improving for the sake of her job. Maybe she'd get a compulsion to walk faster, so she could be more efficient. Maybe she'd even become more nimble and light on her feet, making maneuvering around the archives and office cubicles a breeze.

The more she thought about it, the less bad it appeared to be. So with knowledge, skill and movement accounted for it boiled down to how bad she expected the other five points to be. +2 for BM and +3 for OS? They were probably abbreviated for a reason. Maybe the app was messing with her, maybe they were just long words.

It was as though she'd been backed into a corner. On one hand, the choice was completely optional, but then again, it wasn't. Sure you can claim it's a choice, but was it really? If not taking the deal could mean ending up unemployed for the rest of her life, was that really something she could live with?

Minh wasn't one to sit by idly and do nothing. Leeching off of her husband was the exact opposite of how she wanted to live.