Finding My Place Pt. 02

"I'm fine," I said. I had trouble meeting her eyes when we spoke. I just wanted to go home with Noah.

"You don't want to be here, do you?" She asked. I shook my head. "That's okay. Have you ever heard the saying 'the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one'?"

"Yes." My bare toes wiggled nervously as I stared at them.

"We in the therapy business have learned to take that to heart. If someone is made to come see me, it's hard to help them. Because they don't think they have a problem, or they don't trust me to help them fix it. So maybe it's better if I talk today. And then later, if you want, you can come back and talk. How's that sound?"

"That's fine." Here comes her pitch. 'This place is great, just let Noah put his dick in you and you'll be happy.'

"Life sucks." She pauses for a moment to gauge my reaction. It was one of confusion. "Do you understand why you are here?"

"To be Noah's 'wife'," I made air quotes with my fingers.

"Yes, but why you specifically? We drove a long way to get you."

"My dad probably got paid by somebody." I could see that happening too. Once, when I was twelve, I worked on a nearby farm for three months to save $600 for summer camp. My dad stole the money from my drawer. When I confronted him about it he told my stepmother that I had stolen the $600 from him and he was taking it back. He then beat me so bad I couldn't go to school for a week.

"No one here would ever give that son of a bitch a dime. You see, we have many people involved in the selection process. I'm one of them. And my criteria for approving a procurement is that we be doing them no harm. Meaning your life before must be worse than the worst it can become here. Your life sucked before. It will suck here too in ways different than before, but not as bad. You probably have a lot of unresolved issues your previous life. We can talk about them if you want. Or we can talk about your relationship, your transition, or anything else. I am always here for you." She paused but I just stared. "You understand that I am here for you anytime you need me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Well there is no reason for us to set here and stare at each other." She lead me back to the lobby. Noah smiled at me when he saw us. There was something comforting about Noah actually wanting me around. I had always felt unwanted by everyone. "She's a sweet thing and she'll open up when she's ready. This is a big adjustment on you too, Noah. My doors open to both of you."

***

On the walk home, Noah asked me how things had gone with Olivia. I said fine, but in truth I didn't talk much this session. She tried to get me to open up, but I had a feeling she just wanted to convince me how great this place was and outside of Noah, I didn't want to give anyone the chance to do that.

That night Noah roasted a chicken for dinner. While we was at the table I reached for a piece of the chicken and knocked over the bottle of wine Noah had been pouring himself glasses from. We both frantically grabbed for the bottle as it tumbled end over end, I shouted out but couldn't stop it before it shattered on the floor. "Damn it!" Noah exclaimed aggravated. He grabbed a towel and a broom and frantically cleaned it up before a bigger mess was made. I tried to help but, Noah said it was fine. I sighed in a defeated way said I'm sorry and went to bed.

I truly was sorry. Noah had shown more kindness in three days than anyone ever had in my life. That may be a sad commentary on my life so far but that didn't make it not true. As best as I could understand, I was brought here so Noah could brainwash and rape me. He refused to do so, but in doing so he was giving up a sexual partner. I am sure that was frustrating him. Putting up with my clumsy emotional ass didn't help.

Before I fell asleep Noah came to my room to tell me goodnight and that he wasn't mad at dinner. "I have a temper. I know I do. But I make an effort to make that my problem and not anyone else's."

"Noah?"

"Yes?"

"I know you're giving up a lot right now. Thank you." He looked at me confused.

"I'm not giving up anything," he said as he shut my door for the night.

***

The next morning Noah took me to the clinic that Emma and her husband Oliver owned. When the arrived Emma greeted us before ushering us into an exam room. "So Noah, made any progress?" Emma smirked. Noah just shot her a glare but didn't answer. "I should have figured as much," she shook her head. "Well Mrs. Deziree , you just have you a seat and the doctor will be here in a minute."

She left the room letting the privacy door close behind her. "I don't like her," I said to Noah. I glared at the door in a way I was afraid to glare at Emma herself.

"She grows on you," Noah said.

"She wants you to fuck me," I rolled my eyes at Noah.

"I want to fuck you," this made me blush and look away.

"Yeah, but you have been good enough not to. I don't thing Emma would hold back." Noah gave me an odd look but didn't respond.

A few moments later Oliver Johnson entered with a eccentric, over-the-top, ear to ear smile. "Hello, I'm Dr. Johnson. Let us see what we have here." He read the chart in his hand and mumbled to himself. He was a tall, bony man wearing an over-sized lab coat. His voice and mannerisms reminded me of Barney Fife from the old Andy Griffith TV show. He leered at me from over top his chart. "Looks like blood work is in order. We have a suppository for you and two shots today."

"And I want it taken out," Noah interrupted.

Oliver's smile dissolved. "What's that?"

"The device. The one that makes her cramp. I want it out." Noah stared lasers at Oliver.

"Ben won't be happy if you..."

"She is not Ben's. I take responsibility if anything happens," Noah said his tone cheering up with his last utterance.

'Oh My GOD!! That is my chance!' I thought to myself. 'Once they take this out and everyone is asleep, I'm a goner.'

"I will prep the kit. I should have time to do it today even." Oliver's goofy smile returned.

Oliver's treatment of me was much like his wife's treatment of me the day prior. He was very amused at my reaction when he inserted the suppository as I jumped nearly a foot when he jammed it in. After the shots where done he left the room and Emma returned. She explained the importance of back door hygiene in my new roll, as well has how kegels worked. She made me pull my cheeks apart. I was made to contract and relax my sphincter muscles while she watched to make sure I understood. "Do all this and you will stay tight and clean, love. Also, from one girl to another, a little wine never hurts to help you relax." I blushed super hard during all of this. I am sure this was all good advice that I hoped I would never need.

After Emma finished I was lead to a room with what looked like a dentist's chair. Noah watched as Emma strapped me into the chair. She pulled my forehead back until my mouth was facing the ceiling and then left the room.

"Noah, I don't like this." I said clearly in distress.

"Shhh, baby. They are going to take that device out of you."

Dr. Johnson returned with a tray of instruments. "Okay, Mrs. Desirae. I need you to breathe deep for me." He placed a mask on my face that filled with gas. The last thing I heard was Noah correcting Oliver on his pronunciation of my new name. 'Deziree', fuck that name...

***

I woke on a couch in Emma's office. She sat me up and gave me a soda. "You will be right as rain in an hour, darling. Just give it time." She peered through me. She looked almost angry.

"Where's Noah?" I asked loopy and high on gas. "He's tall you know?"

"I'm aware." She said not breaking her gaze. I rambled for a few minutes as I sobered up. Emma never took her eyes off me.

When Emma finally spoke she cut right threw my incessant babbling as if I had not been speaking at all.

"Well, the good news is the device has been removed. Noah can no longer incapacitate you with the push of a button and the perimeter fence will no longer contain you if you was to try to run. The bad news is the same as the good, because you are a stupid cunt that hasn't learned her place yet." My mouth fell agape. "Oh, it's not your fault, dear. Noah should have taken care of things a while ago. We have got some special ways to break stupid girls that don't know their place. It would be better, for everyone yourself included, if we don't have to resort to doing anything unpleasant."

Her eye never left mine the entire time she spoke. It was beyond unsettling. "Now, are you a good girl, Mrs. Deziree?"

"Ye...yes...ma'am," I choked out.

"Liar." She was right. There was no way I could stay here without things escalating. There was likely no way I could live in Noah's house indefinitely without him eventually wanting sex.

Later that night after we had gone back home,

I found Noah starting a fire in a large stone fire pit on his property. I walked up and cleared my throat. "So, uh, Noah. I was thinking about this week, and I wanted to say thank you. You could have been a lot worse...can I ask why? Noah looked back from the fire and stared at me. "Why haven't you been worse on me?"

"I suppose I still could be if you would like. As of today you have only been gone what, six days? I have only known you for four? And much of that time has been spent trying to give you space. Let us get to know each other first. Let us figure out how much time you need."

I studied the floor and responded quietly. "Um... actually... I don't think time or getting to know each other is going to change things, Noah. I am not gay.

Noah didn't respond. I looked up and met his gaze. When he saw I was looking him in the eyes Noah flatly spoke. "Come set with me. It is going to be a perfect night for a fire."

I knew I shouldn't, but I did.

***

An hour later I was setting next to Noah around the fire. Tonight, after he has gone to bed, I would make my escape and Noah would likely be in a world of trouble. I felt bad for him. It made no since for me to have any compassion for him, seeing how he was complacent if not actively involved in my abduction. There was something about the way he treated me, his little moments of thoughtfulness that made me feel for him.

We made small talk, this time I really did want to know about Noah. Turns out he was a architectural savant. He had designed and won a contract for a record breaking skyscraper when he was only 23, but wasn't allowed to oversee the construction due to his inexperience. He came to this place when unbeknownst to him, the community found out about his predilection towards girly boys and sissy trans girls. He was offered a chance to design and build a luxury home for Ben. Over the course of construction they slowly introduced Noah to the strange activities in the community. When he finished with the house, Ben told him it was his if he stayed in the community as the architect.

"How could you been okay with what they do to us?" I asked.

"I didn't just meet the guys. I met the girls too. The longer they have been here, the happier they are. You're not always going to be confined to the town. Most of the girls leave for business or vacations. They always come back." Noah said staring into the fire.

That was everyone's contention, but I doubted it. I had never even seen one of the other 'gurls'. The way everyone talked you would think the town would be overran with trans girls having the time of their lives. I had yet to see one.

Noah had coaxed me into having a glass of wine. I had never had wine before and didn't care for the flavor much. As with many first time imbibers, the alcohol was quickly having its way with me.

Noah had stripped down to nothing but a pair of crimson red basketball shorts. He claimed he liked the feel of the fire on his bare skin and that this was not a blatant attempt to continue his seduction of me. I tried not to look when he got up to add a log to the fire but it was hard to miss...he was huge. He sported an erection outlined by his shorts that he made no attempt to hide. I set there in my see-through sun dress, ass on display, nervously sipping my wine, thinking how embarrassing it is that Noah has been seeing my little cock for the last week. I was much smaller than him.

"Ahhh, this is the life," said Noah as he took the last sip of his wine. He picked up the empty bottle, set it to the side and proceeded to uncork the next bottle. "Always bring an extra, some nights are worth a second bottle." He said this staring into my eyes as if to convey that my presence was what made tonight worthy of the excess.

He refilled my glass and set close to me. "Yes they are," I smiled broadly and genuinely. This would be my last night here if I managed to escape. However, Noah had been kind so far and I would miss him.

However his erection and proximity to me was making me nervous. "I think I might head inside," I said stammering a bit as I made my excuse. "I'm getting a bit cold." Noah, who was sitting just inches from me, stood up and bent over the bench revealing a built in compartment. As I turn to see him retrieve a blanket for me, I tried not to pay any attention to his huge cock outline hanging about a foot from my face. I turned my head to grab my glass as if to pretend I didn't realize there was a big cock right next to my head. From what it sounded like, Noah had found the blanket, but as he brought his foot back over the bench he tripped and had to turn quickly to keep his balance. As he twisted, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I felt something slap the back of my head and Noah snorted.

"Shit, Dez, I'm sorry!" Noah laughed and smiled clearly tipsy. "I just hit you with my dick! Unintentionally, I swear."

I was mortified and just sat there blushing, not knowing how to respond. Eventually, Noah controlled his laughter and we toasted our glasses. Now, clearly sensitive after just getting hit with a cock, I couldn't help but notice how close Noah was now sitting next to me. I tried not to think anything if it though, as he wrapped the blanket around us both.

A few minutes later, Noah was refilling my glass again. I never drank before, but I was starting to enjoy it. The only problem was it was making me crazy horny. And at the worst possible time.

"I'm not here to judge you, you know?" Noah said, staring at my embarrassingly tiny erection.

"Umm...I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm straight." I responded.

"Sure sure," he laughed a bit before taking a long sip.

Eventually the wine got to me and I started taking big drinks from my glass to prove I was manly. 'Men drink' I thought, 'I'm not some sissy like they think.'

"Hey there, Baby, be careful!" Noah told me. "It's your first time, may want to take it easy a bit!"

The wine kept pouring until we were down to the last drop and Noah tossed the bottle into the fire. I couldn't help but notice that at some point I had snuggled up really close to Noah and had my hand on his abs, stroking him. I didn't know when this happened, but his arm was around me as well. Suddenly aware of our closeness, I was faced with a choice and chose to stay nestled into him.

I was so engrossed in this leud display and the feeling of closeness that I didn't even realize when Noah pulled me even closer to him so that my head was resting on his abs. I opened my eyes to see my hand inches from the massive outline of his cock that itself was less than a foot from my resting head.

"Have you ever seen a cock in person? Other than your own?" He asked me.

"No. You're huge, right? Or am I just small?"

Yeah, I am big. Compared to most people, I have them beat." Noah smirked. "Check it out."

Noah dropped his shorts and my jaw dropped. Not only was his cock sticking straight out about 6 inches from my face, it was staggering in size. I had seen the outline earlier, but when hard, he must have been at least 10 inches and as big around as a coke can. I was so caught up in the moment I just stared.

We continued to lay like this, while I coped with the fact I was inch from another man's cock. I realized I've had a boner for a while now. Being drunk and horny, I chalked it up to being the effects of alcohol, hoping it wasn't from the massive cock next to me. Noah uncorked a fresh bottle pour us each half a glass and handed me one. I was already really drunk, but this next glass put me in a blissful high. I could feel everything, his chest on my skin, the heat from the fire, my rock hard (albeit tiny) penis against the light warm cotton.

Noah must have sensed this because he boldly reached behind me to pull my dress up and rubbed my ass. He rubbed and squeezed it like you would do to a horny girl during foreplay. "Ughh...Noah...hmm" I tried to protest, but I wasn't getting to far, I was horny, a virgin, and some internal need for relief was overriding my thoughts.

"It's okay, Baby. I like you like this. No one has to know."

I was too drunk to care, it felt so good. With his other hand, Noah moved my hand onto his cock...