tagBDSMFinding Myself at USF Ch. 4

Finding Myself at USF Ch. 4


If you have not done so, please read the first three parts rather than attempting to pick up the tale in the middle.

* * * * *

As we sped out of the parking lot and into traffic, my head spun. I couldn't believe that I had just masturbated in front of a couple frat boys in a parking lot! I continued to blush and tried to sink down into the passenger seat as far as I could, as if to pretend that I simply didn't exist -- that I hadn't just done that.

"Karri, be proud -- you probably just made both of them happy as hell. You are quite lovely."

My mind darted back to that disturbing thought -- was she, is she, a lesbian now? Unsure of how to respond, I started to open my mouth and then closed it again. Two or three times. And I resumed blushing...

"But, Yvette, what if I see them on campus? What if one of them is in one of my classes? Then what do I do? Everyone will think I'm a slut and shameless one at that!"

Yvette placed her arm on my shoulder and replied, "You worry too much. This isn't high school, this is a major university. There are some thirty-four thousand students here. And they come in all colors, all personality types, et cetera. Anyway, if I know the boys around here, hearing that story will just make them ask you out more often, some hoping to get lucky that night, and others hoping to get lucky enough to date a girl who is that wild on a regular basis -- you'll have your choice among them."

But I didn't want them -- I wanted Him! The one who wrote the poetry. I knew He brought me to be like this, not some fumbling undergrad. I wanted to feel His power over me in person...

"Yeah, thanks Yvette. So everyone will want to date the slut."

"Carolina, will you just chill out. The semester hasn't even started yet. For all you know, you'll never see those boys again, although I suspect they'll be standing in front of the Greenery for weeks hoping, praying for another show."

We both laughed at that thought. Again, she had lightened the mood so easily. I was so envious of her self-confidence, her demeanor. Was she putting a play on me, in some lesbian way that I didn't understand? I was too tipsy to really contemplate it for more than a second. So I asked the obvious question instead...

"Where are we going?"

"Well, first, to get you a shower and a change of clothes -- I can't take you in public like that."

I giggled. "OK"

Within minutes, we had pulled up in front of her (our!) building. I looked around to make sure that no one was about, but the place was still deserted with twelve days left before fall semester started. I tried to walk as dignified as I could to the stairs, but it was a kind of embarrassing even with no one about -- I could hear myself squishing and felt my juiciness start to run down my thigh towards my knee. I dashed forward and let myself into my place.

I had tried to get a slot as her roommate, but her existing roommates hadn't moved out, so I settled with a room in the next apartment over. Our bedrooms were backed up against each other, and at the end of the month, when her lease was over, she would be moving into a bedroom in my (our) apartment, if there was still one available. The jerks down in the rental office wouldn't let her simply move now, insisting that she wait until the lease was over. I flashed back to having to convince my parents that living off campus was both cheaper and better than living in the dorms, better in that Yvette would be right there to look out for me and I'd feel safe as a result. I had just arrived last night, and she had helped me unpack my clothes, making comments about how we would have to go shopping to get me a new wardrobe suitable for Florida's weather. I had been so looking forward to that, but now I was unsure, wondering if it was just an excuse for my lesbo friend.

I turned to Yvette and flat-out asked her.

"Yve, are you a lesbian now?"

She started laughing so hard that I had to laugh with her. Then she realized that the question was serious, and quieted down.

"Carolina, look at me."

My gaze met hers, and I knew that she was way-serious at this instant. She looked down at my wetness leaking down my leg, and I think she guessed that I was effectively asking her to be with me -- I wasn't, but maybe she misinterpreted it that way.

"No, I am not a lesbian. I do not prefer the company of women over the company of men in my bed, sexually or otherwise. But if you're asking because you're curious about being with me, I must say that I am very, very flattered, but I am not ready to be with you or any other woman at this instant."

Then she winked at me, and added, "but I promise that if I do become a lesbian, you'll be the first to know."

I smiled awkwardly. I should have never opened my stupid mouth. I felt so uncomfortable at that instant.

"It's just... Oh, I don't know, I thought that maybe... I wasn't implying that I wanted to, you know... let's just drop it. Best buds, right?"

"Yes, Karri, I want to be best buds as always. Two peas in a pod, two fish in a can, two seeds in a joint, we're like this," She crossed her fingers and continued, "It's cool, if you want to talk about it, I don't mind. I don't think the way I used to in high school -- it's not gross or dementedly perverse the way it used to be; there's a lot of lesbians and fags at the school, or at least people who are trying it on for size to see if it's right for them. Actually, I'm friends with a number of them and I think they're cooler than most people because they are trying to find themselves, their likes and dislikes, instead of just accepting themselves as what they were in their teen years."

I gave her a hug, sniffling a bit because she was trying to be so understanding and such a good friend. Alcohol in the afternoon will do this to you.

"Yvette, I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual. I haven't even considered it, really. I just thought that maybe you were. Thanks for being such a good friend."

And then it hit me. Not the alcohol -- that was actually starting to wear down. But the feeling of her body against mine, and my very first thoughts that it might be enjoyable to be with a woman. I was still so horny from before and the feel of her warm skin, her hard nipples against me, and -- yes, I thought so -- it was a nipple piercing against me. I got kinda mushy-soft and wanted to kiss her (or Him, if I were in His arms), but stepped back instead.

"I guess I better get cleaned up... I think my make-up ran."

"OK. I'm gonna grab something to drink for us from my place, Karri, and jump in the shower real quick, and I'll be right over."

We hadn't stocked my fridge yet, and I still lived alone, everyone else having moved out of the place during the summer before my arrival. I heard the front door close behind me and walked into my bedroom, slipped out of my clothes -- God, my skirt was soaked through! I took the skirt and placed it in my bathroom sink in cold water, hoping it wouldn't stain, and then turned on the shower before stepping in.

I felt like such a naughty little wench, all wet and slushy. Trying to rinse my pussy, I pointed the showerhead downward and stepped back to let it flow water across my labia. Bad idea... Unlike at home, the water pressure here was higher and it was sufficient to stimulate my clit. The feeling of it pushed me right back into my naughty thoughts. This time they devoured me as I imagined being pushed backwards against Him, his manhood deep in me pressing into my G-spot, as Yvette licked my clit. I could feel Him supporting me, his arms under mine, caressing my breasts. I came in an incredible cascade of feelings and thoughts, and then started to come back to reality, stepping away from the stream. Had I really just allowed myself to go there? I had often wondered what it might be like to be with another woman, and with Yvette being both my best friend and being so sexy-cute, I tended to imagine her as being that woman, but I had never (well, rarely) masturbated to the thought, and had never cum to it before. I was even wetter than before, if that was possible. Suddenly, I was incredibly sober and full aware of where I was.

Yvette came bouncing into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet, asking "are you almost done in there?"

"I just started -- I had to try to figure out what to do about my skirt. I want to hear more about your tale," hoping to take her attention off of me. I certainly wasn't going to admit, best buds or not, what I had been imagining.

"Where was I in the story?"

"You had gone back to what's his name's place and were reading through his roommate's emails."

"Now I remember... I had been reading His letters and masturbating to His writings. God I wanted Him so badly. A friend of Andreas' let himself in to check his email on the laptop and stopped, transfixed, looking at me touching myself. I had my eyes closed and my head tilted back in the chair; I hadn't heard him come in. I guess he knew a good thing when he saw it. The first time I noticed, he was standing behind the chair, naked, and his hands reached around and started touching my breasts. I looked up and moaned, enjoying the touch, imagining it was His. I signed out immediately and then stood and without saying a word, took his face in my hands and started kissing him passionately. I could feel his cock against my stomach, twitching, and I rubbed my skin against it as I continued to kiss him. I guided him to Andreas' bed and pulled him down with me, never releasing the kiss. But I wasn't kissing him, I was kissing the Him in my mind.

"I started grinding my hips against his thigh, my wetness matting down the hairs, imagining that it was His thigh I was grinding against, knowing that it was Him who had done this to me again, touched me without touching me, making me crave so badly. Unfortunately, my visitor couldn't contain his enthusiasm and came all over my stomach. Looking down, he realized what had happened and turned red. I didn't care, I thought it was sweet that I had gotten to him so much, and I was sure I could get another rise from him, but he was now beet red, reaching for his clothes and scrambling out. We had never even spoken a single word, and I have no clue who he was.

"I lay back, frustrated, randy as hell, wishing He would come and take me, ravish me, use me. After all, it was He who had brought me to this place, had led me to my deceit, had left me vulnerable to being taken. I closed my eyes and continued to touch myself. I took the warm cum on me and rubbed it about on my areola, then sucked my fingers clean. I imagined it was His cum on my skin, warm and wet, and came as I envisioned his fingers pushing cupping it and offering it to my mouth.

"lingering in my special place, a fell asleep with Him wrapped around me. I awoke to the buzzing of the dryer that the load was finished. I decided to return home and stuffed all the clothes back the hamper, wet, dry, dirty or clean -- I didn't care, I was ready to leave. After all, I had forwarded it all to my email address."

"Where are we going? I need to know if I need to do my hair."

"You hair is fine for now, Karri. I want to take you shopping to get some clothes and some food & drinks for your refrigerator."

I felt kind of dejected, knowing that Yvette wasn't a lesbian had dampened my perceived chances with Him. I sighed deeply...

To Be Continued...

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