All Comments on 'Finding Ourselves Ch. 01 - The Meet'

So far a beautiful story of love, passion and dedication. Recently, very rare in this category. Hope it doesn't change in cuck history 5*****

Welcome aboard Danny. Fun first start, but you seriously need to engage the help of a proofreader. Or do it yourself. The way to proof your own work is word by word, Mouthing out each word like a grade school kid would do. Then you will find all those glitches that Grammarly won't spot. Either that or engage the help of a Proof Reader/Editor that are so readily available on Lit.com, and hardly overused.

Your plot created reader interest, but the impact and flow of the story was seriously diminished by the many technical errors —— spelling, typing mistakes, simple grammar errors, etc. These prevent the reader from developing a smooth flow, which in turn prevents good engagement with what you’re trying to say. Please consider more careful proofreading, maybe use an editor especially if you’re not overly familiar with written English prose.

"This is a true story in parts that ill add to, if you feel its worthy and going somewhere - if not ill stop at this first chapter." - Don't say the story is true, nobody believes you, and it just pisses us off. Why should we read chapter one if YOU'RE not sure if it's worthy of being continued?

Littered with so many mistakes to make it unintelligible.

Nothing makes sense. She was in a controlled relationship?? Explain

Get an editor or at least re-read what you have written before you publish. Could have been a decent story with a little more buildup but the spelling and grammar was too distracting.

If you want to write and continue this story, I highly recommend you contact an editor to review your work before posting.

The issues with this story are not so much with the story line, as they are with the numerous run-on sentences, grammar errors, and a general lack of focus. It seems (but I'm not sure) that the story line is Dee remains married and they have their affair going on for years.??? It somehow sounded like that near the end.

So, find an editor.

What the fuck was this?

You start off by saying Dee and Dave had been married for 14 years and they met after you invited her and 13 others to dinner after an exhibition. What the fuck exhibition are you talking about and if you invited Dee, then you already knew her and didn’t meet her at this dinner.

Then you say you had been married 20 years and Dee was in a controlling relationship for 14 years?

The fuck are you talking about? Seriously, this makes no sense.

pretty obvious where this is headed, even if it's short and attempting to trick people into reading the garbage that will arrive far too soon.

You need an editor or at least read it a couple of times before you post it.

1☆

Nice start.... go on please ;)

Totally impossible to follow, except for the cheating. Too many new authors just try to be too cute.

This is a true story in parts.............they never are.

And unless the 2 MC's were separated, they're horrible people. Nuff said.

thanks for your comments, I take it all on board and to be honest, know that my grammar, punctuation and spelling is rubbish but i published it anyway thinking it might be rejected, but it wasnt. I did have another story rejected and did try to contact all of the editorial help on many occasions, but no one came back. As most of the comments were negative, some of them plain rude and un-nesessary, i wont write anymore here at least until i can get some editorial help. - thanks