All Comments on 'First Threeway Pt. 01'

You need an editor, or someone who'll catch your (minor) grammar or spelling mistakes. Otherwise, basically a simple, everyday story of naughty happenings!

3 Stars

Sorry everyone, I just realized this was one of the pre-edited versions that I submitted. I noticed several mistakes throughout the story. They will be fixed, my apologies.

The biggest problem is not minor grammatical error: the changing tense. You started in past tense and the changed to present with the paragraph that started with this sentence.

<P>

Alice and I enter the room together.

<P>

Maintaining present tense is hard for professional writers to maintain. The very structure of stories is to tell about something that happened, so past tense is more natural. Whether past or present tense, pick ONE and stick to it.

That should have read "The biggest problem is not a minor grammatical error:". Yeah, a missed article (a) is a minor error, but, when I'm commenting on another's grammar, I should have checked my grammar before sending the comment.

This could be a great story with it being edited. The storyline is a kicker. Continue this soon!

Loved the story can’t wait for part 2,3,4..........