All Comments on 'First Time'

Premise with possibilities.

But not delivered.

First of all, you wrote TOUNGE an least twice, when ou meant TONGUE.

Second, there's no setup. What's the back story?

They knew each other for a whole year. Why, all of a sudden, is she in his hotel room?

Too fast. Everything.

Three stars.

I love everything about this. The missing detail accentuates the frenzied pace of their joining. 5 stars!

Rustling is the word you should have used. Russeling is not a word.

Mixing tenses. Incomplete sentences. Misspelled words that would have been caught with spell check. No back story. 2*