All Comments on 'Following Orders and Being Watched'

This was kind of like reading a technical manual. I'm sure there's a story in there, somewhere, but you haven't done anything to make the story vivid. There are a ton of punctuation and grammer problems, but, that didn't bother me that much. This could have been a really good story. I'm sorry to be critical.

Vix, there's always something you can do to make a story better but my heart is still slamming in my chest from the rush of jacking off to this story. Sheez!

I gotta go lay down for moment!

Woody Johnson

wooody.me@gmail.com