For Every Rule There's An Exception

I heard that the one issue that Sandy and Arthur argued about was whether they were going to raise Rachel as a Christian or as a Jew, being that Arthur was Jewish. He wasn't a practicing Jew, so I didn't understand the big deal. Of course, I got my information from Scott.

Scott asked me, why we didn't celebrate his Bar Mitzvah when he turned 13. I explained that he wasn't Jewish. When David married and had his first boy, they made a party for the circumcision. I was invited, but declined. Scott asked me about that, as well. I tried to explain that he should discuss with his mother, he said he did but she couldn't explain.

Sandy wasn't even 40 and she was a step grandma.

*****

Meanwhile, as I approached my 45^th birthday, I had to deal with some sad news. My dad passed away in Florida. He was 88 years old. My mom, who was very independent, decided to stay in Florida. The other news was that Sam was thinking of slowing down a bit. I already had stock options; now he made me vice president. I was given another raise and was now making more than $250,000 a year. I had all this money and no one to share it with. A bit after Dad passed away, mom left us. She missed him too much.

Fourteen years flew by. Scott had attended Stanford for undergraduate, and then got his masters in engineering. He even met a young lady in California, they married and decided to stay there. It was strange attending my son's wedding with my ex-wife. She still looked great. Arthur didn't. He wasn't well. Sandy mentioned to me that his heart was weakening. Rachel, Sandy's daughter, was a real beauty. She looked so much like her mother, and I practically remembered Sandy from that age. I think she was 19 at Scott's wedding. Author's children and grandchildren were all at Scott's wedding. Two years after Scott married, he and Penny had a little boy named Frankie, for my dad. Frank.

*****

A number of months ago Sandy called me up in tears. Arthur had another heart attack and he was gone. He was only 67. They had just celebrated their 24^th wedding anniversary. I went over to her house. Norm was already there. Norm was closing in on 80. Rebecca and her husband were there. David was living in the east, was en route and would be arriving the following morning. I saw young Rachel sitting by herself crying. She lost her dad. I tried to comfort her.

Scott was going to try and fly in for the funeral, which was supposed to be the following afternoon. Jewish tradition is to bury as soon as possible. It was so surreal for me. This was my family, but it really wasn't.

*****

Last week, Sandy came over to discuss Frankie's birthday party and present. It was six months after Arthur's funeral. She hadn't been in my place in years, maybe since before Scott went to Stanford.

"How are you, Eric?"

"The same as I have been the last 30 years. Miserable."

"Why? You wanted the divorce. I never stopped you. I did everything that you wanted."

"Who says that what I wanted, was the best thing for me?"

"What did you want me to do?"

"Sandy, I saw Sam and Denise last week. They came to visit from Phoenix. They send their condolences to you."

"Thank you, but you didn't answer my question, what did you want me to do?"

"Sandy, in business I always knew what to do, but in the relationship department, you were the smarter one. I needed you to dictate and not me. You let me dictate everything."

"Yes, I did. I guess I was feeling guilty and you seemed to be so determined."

"Sandy, am I too late?"

"That depends, you are definitely too late for the past 28 years since our divorce. However, I am only 54, and you are nearing 60. I never stopped loving you, even during all my years I was married to Arthur. I just made a commitment to another man. A man who wanted me with all my faults. You didn't."

Another punch in the gut.

This time I cried.

"I'm sorry. I messed things up for us. At least I'm glad you had some happiness."

"Eric, I am sorry. I wish I was smarter and could have figured out a way to get you to love me with all my issues. I wish there was a way that you wouldn't be so scientific about guarantees. I wish there was a way for you to understand that "For every rule, there is an exception." I need to go home. I have a 22-year-old daughter at home. You know where I live, you know my number."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.

****

I finished my story and looked up at Alysha. She was hysterically crying.

"I don't know if this was a good idea, I'm not sure if I can be unemotional about your story. I need to review this tape and my notes. I will also consult with Helen. I am not here to share my conclusions with you yet, but I want you to do one thing for me." She said as she wiped away her tears.

"What's that?"

"Please turn on your cell phone and call her, NOW."

I looked at her stunned.

"Eric Shaw, I have tried so many times to get you to make that call. We both know that once you call her, it will be good. Just call her, go out and see where it leads, and for the last time, DO IT NOW."

Alysha had raised her voice with me.

I knew if I called her, She'd see me. I knew if I asked her to marry me, she would. Maybe it was time for me to have some happiness and swallow my stupid pride.

I took out my phone and called

"Hi Sandy, are you...