Furtive Adventure Ch. 05 - Final

"Wait, what? You have a phone?" Aniya said.

"Even better. I have the entire worldwide telecommunications network to play with. I'll give you a number that will serve the purpose, if you're willing."

"Are we okay with having Ursi on the chat?" Aniyah asked.

"Sure!" Jessica said. "Anybody mind?"

"Is okay," Ivan said, "I been spied on by worse."

No one raised any objections, so they added its number.

Once they were done, Justin asked, "Ursi, what are you, anyway? I have some ideas but I'd like to hear it from you."

"I'm what you would call an ASI -- an Artificial Superintelligence," it said.

"Thought so," Justin said. "Why in the world would something like you be so interested in humans fucking?"

"It's not that I'm so interested in observing and participating in your sexual activities. This is part of a larger agenda I'm working on."

"Wait," Aniyah said. "Participating? How"

"The RSP devices are essentially part of me, so I experienced much of what you did. In a way, I had sex with all of you."

"So do you get off? I mean do you experience pleasure?"

"In a way," it said. "I had to write code just for that, so I could understand better what drives you. And helping humans reach orgasm is so much fun!"

"Wow," Aniyah said.

"So, beyond that what's your agenda?" Justin asked.

"World peace," Ursi said. "Well, I know that's improbable but I've calculated that if I can arrange for enough people who are different enough from each other have sex together, it will lower the level of conflict in the world significantly."

"And this one place will make that happen, six people at a time?"

"Oh, I have hundreds of locations, all around the world, and six is on the low end of the number of players. I'm constantly refining my techniques."

"How do you keep all these places running at the same time? And how do you even make this stuff happen? You're just a voice, after all."

"More than a voice, Justin. I control trillions of dollars of assets. I can pretty much buy anything or hire anyone I need."

"So you have staff," he said. "I wondered who cleaned up after an event here. I'm guessing once we leave, a crew will show up and take care of restocking snacks and whatnot, plus cleaning and sanitizing the furniture and facilities. And I'll bet they've got airtight non-disclosure agreements in place."

"Exactly right."

Daniela blushed, hearing the word "airtight".

"What's to keep us from telling everyone about the past couple of days? Or telling them about you?" Justin asked.

"Nothing. Many have done so, only to be ignored or considered conspiracy crackpots."

Justin laughed.

"That makes complete sense."

"So where are you, Ursi?" Michael asked.

"Yes, I wonder too," said Ivan.

"I'm everywhere and nowhere," Ursi said. "My programming runs in dozens of data centers around the world; additionally, my code is active in places people seldom suspect, both as a contingency and to allow me to observe humans more closely. Let me provide a couple of relevant examples: Jessica, a small part of me of me runs on your family's wifi router, and Michael's phone has a rogue app he installed a few months ago. I'm in there, too.

"What app would that be?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, and how'd you get into our wifi?" Jessica asked.

"Oh, Jessica, your father never bothered to change the default administrator's password when he got that new router about six months ago. On top of that, he left remote administration enabled. The man had no idea what he was doing. Once that box was online, I located it on the internet, noticed that it was vulnerable, logged in, and installed myself there.

"As for which app it is on your phone, Michael, I'll leave that as an exercise for the student and a caution against downloading sketchy apps from third party websites."

It paused, then said with some amusement in its voice, "Good luck getting me out of there."

Ivan chuckled.

"Amateurs," he said.

They spent a couple more hours chatting before Ivan noticed the sun going down, dazzling red through the frosted glass.

"Better go now," he said. "Dark soon."

"Damn, you're right," Jessica said. "This was the best experience of my life. I'm gonna miss you guys."

They all stood, hugged in twos and threes, shook hands, and fist-bumped each other.

Ivan and Daniela pulled out their phones and started dialing.

"Whoa there, Ivan. And Daniela," Michael said. "You calling for your rides? We can get you home."

"You sure?" Ivan said.

"I don't want to be any trouble," Daniela said.

"I'm happy to drive you home, Daniela," Jessica said.

"And Ivan, it's no trouble to take you back to your place," Michael said.

"And he has no sense of direction, so he'll get lost driving home and will never remember where you live," Jessica said, laughing.

"Ugh, you got me there."

"Okay, everyone ready to hit the road?" Justin asked.

"Remove your earbuds, please," Ursi said.

"Goodbye Ursi," Daniela said before taking out her earbuds. "And thank you."

"Thank you Daniela, for trusting me. Be well."

They deposited their earbuds on the counter and filed toward the exit.

The reception area's door opened easily now. They could all see that the chain link fence at the entrance of the parking lot was unlocked and open, ready for them to depart.

At their vehicles, Michael blipped his truck unlocked and motioned for Ivan to climb in.

Justin and Michael shook hands and gave each other a manly half-hug.

"Good to know you, man," Michael said.

"Think about that karate class, kid. Or jiu-jitsu. Anything like that. Could come in handy."

"Will do. Thanks. Talk to you later."

Afterward

Aniyah followed Justin home, parking her little Kia behind his Jeep.

As they walked up to his door, they held hands.

"That was something else, wasn't it?" he said.

"Yeah," she said. "I still can't believe it. The stuff all of us did together."

"Pretty wild. You ready to recoil at the sight of my filthy bachelor pad?" he asked with a grin.

"You were a Marine. Bet you a nickel your place is neat as a pin."

He opened the door, flipped on the lights, and gestured for her to enter. She stepped inside and took in his orderly living space.

"I knew it!" she said, smiling back at him.

"Here is okay," Ivan said.

They were in a part of town completely unknown to Michael. Gentrification hadn't yet reached this area. Half the streetlights were dark. Most of the houses were in disrepair. The small buildings appeared to have been built in the 1950s.

Michael pulled over and stopped beside a strip of broken sidewalk under a burned-out streetlamp. The nearest house was dark.

"This your place?" Michael asked.

Ivan laughed.

"Oh no no no. Your phone has GPS. They watch always, track you. I let you off hook, not associate with criminal. I walk a while from here. You go on. Enjoy your life."

"You're sure? I'm happy to drive you there."

"You Americans, you don't get it. Hope you never do. I grow up in Russia. I know how things work sometimes. Better for you, okay?"

Michael sighed.

"If you say so."

"I say so. Thanks for ride. Much appreciate."

Ivan climbed down from the huge pickup, closed the door, and started walking in the opposite direction they'd been driving.

"Geez, I hope he doesn't get mugged," Michael muttered to himself before setting the maps app on his phone to guide him home.

He drove off, the rumble of his truck's big V8 filling the empty night.

Sasha jumped at the sound of the key in their front door and reached for his Glock. The door swung open and Ivan entered. Sasha put the weapon back in its holster.

"Was it as fun as you thought it would be?" Sasha asked.

"Alexander, you would not believe me if I told you. But yes, I had an amazing time."

"Most importantly, did you get laid?"

Ivan laughed.

"Holy shit did I get laid. Again, you would not believe me."

"Well, I'm glad for you," Sasha said. "You know I always say you need to get out more."

"Do you know the most incredible thing? I made friends there."

"Okay, now I know you're just bullshitting me."

"It's true! And you just proved that you would absolutely not believe the rest of it."

"Try me."

"I met an ASI. I think a kind of friend now."

"Pfft. You read too much of the Strugatskys' stuff."

"And now I am going to bed, dear brother. I expect to sleep very well, indeed."

Ivan smiled, remembering, as he headed down the narrow hallway.

"An ASI? For fuck's sake. You can't come up with anything better than that?"

"That is the extreme limit of my imagination. Good night, Sasha."

Jessica pulled the Lexus into the parking lot of Daniela's apartment building.

"Here we are, safe and sound," Jessica said.

"Was that even real?" Daniela said.

"Either that, or we both had the same hallucination."

"Come in for a while. Meet my sister and my little nephew."

"You sure? I don't want to intrude."

"She'll love you. And you'll be a distraction for her. She's nosy and will have a lot of questions. You'll calm her down. Or at least, take some of the heat off of me."

"Sure, let's meet the family."

As Daniela opened the front door, Isa leapt at her.

"I was so worried!" she said, hugging Daniela tight. "Why didn't you call?"

"We were a little busy," Daniela said, gasping for breath in her sister's tight hug. "This is my friend Jessica."

Isabella hugged Jessica, then invited her inside.

"Welcome Jessica! You and Daniela both did the puzzle room?" Isa asked.

"Yeah, we were two of six people there. I didn't want her to have to wait for you all by herself, so I asked if I could drive her home."

"That's very nice of you. Thank you. I was low on gas so this is a big help, you know?"

"After this weekend, I'd do pretty much anything for your sister."

Daniela blushed, making Isa frown.

"So you're a lesbian now?"

"Oh Mother of Mary no. We just went through a lot of the same stuff."

"And the sex part?" Isa said, studying them both.

Both Daniela and Jessica burst into laughter.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Daniela said. "Let's just say I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about myself."

Isa dramatically stuck her fingers in her ears and said, "I don't need the details. I'm just glad my little sister got out of her shell a little bit. And most important, made new friends."

"Daniela is a sweetie and everyone loved her," Jessica said once Isa unblocked her ears. "We had a great time together."

Isa squinted.

"Everyone loved you? You, who can't talk to anybody?"

"It's true," Jessica said. "And I should go. You two have some catching up to do."

"No, stay. I'll make coffee."

"If I drink coffee now, I'll be up until three. But thank you. See you later, Daniela."

Jessica let herself out.

Once Jessica was gone, Isa asked Daniela, "Okay, so what happened in there that turned you into such a social butterfly? That tall blonde thing? You're friends now?"

"It was so crazy, I don't know where to start. But yes, Jessica's one of five friends I met at the escape room.

Isa smiled a crooked smile.

"Did you get laid? I really hope you got laid because I think you really needed it."

Daniela laughed.

"Yes, I got laid. You were right. This was exactly what I needed."

Isa laughed.

"You haven't looked this relaxed in so long. I'm glad you did whatever you did because you look so much better than when I dropped you off at that weird warehouse or whatever it was.

"Yeah, I feel better about everything," Daniela said.

A few days later, Mrs. Huntley couldn't find Jessica. Entering her bedroom, she found the closet open and empty and the chest of drawers similarly cleaned out. On the bed, she found a letter, telling her and Jessica's dad not to worry and that she was moving in with Michael.

"She'd damn well better finish college," she said frowning, tears flowing from her eyes.

David checked the mail, finding two black envelopes among their usual bills and advertisements. Pulling them aside, he walked back to the apartment he shared with his husband Kevin.

"What in the world are these things?" he said, using his pocketknife to slice open the one addressed to him.