Girl

A few girls, from the cheerleaders, and otherwise 'cool' kids' section came over and sat at my lone table.

"So, you're new?" one asked.

I nervously smiled, stiffly answering, "Yes."

"What's your name?" another, I knew as the quarterback's girlfriend, asked.

"Mi...uh, Mikayla," I blurted, saying the first thing in mind. I felt like they could see that I was Mike somehow. Their close scrutiny was sending me into stroke territory.

"So, Maya Mikayla?"

"I'm sorry, just Maya. Some people back home use my middle name as well." I decided to go with her mistake, as I thought 'Mikayla' was too close to 'Mike' and 'Michelle,' my sister's name. However, I was stuck with an 'M' name. The girls asked me all sorts of questions, of which I was able to fabricate decent answers for. Lunch was ending in seven minutes, so I decided to get to the restroom and change before it was busy. On the way out, I caught many of the guys looking at...my ass? 'Ugh' I inwardly cringed.

Once again, I emerged from the restroom, this time myself. Arriving to my locker, Scott was waiting.

"Man, where were you?" he asked.

"Oh, I took lunch in the library, I wasn't hungry."

"Hmm. you smell like the food we had. Can't miss that..odor."

"I mean, well, I had a bite."

"Did you see the new chick?"

"A new chick?" I feigned.

"Yeah. She was pretty hot, and her shy nervousness was super cute."

"Super cute?" I laughed. "I didn't think I'd ever hear that as a descriptor from you."

"Yeah," he said. "Something about her. Actually, she looked like that chick from your pic."

"Whoa. I thought you didn't like girls?" I teased, hoping that he didn't actually like..her?

"Well, something seemed different about her." He didn't know the half of it.

"Eh," I grunted. "Maybe I'll see this new chick soon," I said, seeming uninterested. The rest of the school day had passed, with me hearing random whispers about Maya. Maybe she could do lunch again. It was pretty interesting talking with people other than my normal group.

~~~

Back at home, I thought about what took place earlier. It felt good, people were interested in me. All it took, unfortunately, was being a girl. If I were going to do this again, I had to use some different clothes, so I snagged a few more different styles of clothing from my sister. I tried various things on, lounging around, and trying to move naturally. I also practiced feminine expressions, and manners, hoping I wasn't being exaggerated. I did my homework, still in the form of Maya, as I remained that night, except when going to dinner. Somehow, it felt great just being her, just knowing that I was attractive, not that I wanted male attention.

I'd done lunch a few more times, with my confidence growing more each day. I began to sit with the 'cool kids,' everyone was interested in Maya's life, her interests, and apparently a few guys had their eyes on her. Maya, or should I say, 'I' went from a timid new kid, to a bubbly, confident girl. I felt completely at home, and soon being Maya became second nature. I'd even learned some quick make-up tips, applying them to myself. After a while I was questioned about my whereabouts, since Maya was never in class. I told them that I was in a work experience program, that allowed me to leave at 10:30, but I took a study hall, and then lunch, before I left. I think that satisfied them.

~~~

One day, leaving lunch as Maya, I passed Jenna, who greeted me, "Hi!"

"Oh, uh hi, Jenna."

She looked at me. "You know who I am?"

'Oops,' I thought. "Yeah... I'm trying to learn people, put names with faces."

"Oh," she said, seeming to be satisfied. "Have you lived here before? You seem, familiar, somehow," She looked closely at me.

"No. I'm from the west coast."

"You speak like you're from here."

I hunched my shoulders, as to say 'I don't know,' running my hand through my hair. "Well, I will see you around, I have to go to my work program." I couldn't go directly to the boy's restroom since jenna was around, nor could I go to the girl's. Jenna would definitely follow me in, trying to comb for more info, also I didn't want to chance being seen as Mike, coming out of the girl's restroom. I snuck into the boy's changing rooms, after they changed for gym that period. I dare to think what would happen if I were found. It made me a little late, but with my reputation, teachers would let such a trivial thing slide.

~~~

After the close encounter with Jenna, I decided that Maya needed time off. I'd let being her get in the way of some of my usual hobbies, and projects I needed to do. I spent too much time looking up things that I should know as Maya; inconsequental, stupid things, like who sung what song, or what accesory matches what outfit. I think I may have lost some brain cells. I also took a break because being Maya wasn't my real life. As great as I felt for the short amount of time others saw me as her, it was a lie; I didn't even think it was a well told one.

~~~

It was now Friday after school, and for Scott and myself, another trip to 'Neckbeard's' was in order. As we walked, we passed Jenna, who just lightly spoke, "Hey guys." Scott and I greeted her and went about our way.

"Jenna's a little down," Scott noticed.

"Then you go console her," I snapped.

"Hey man, why are you so mad at her?"

"I'm not." I went into a rant on relationship dynamics, and how her being too close had no benefit for myself, while she had someone to lean on, and waste their time, something otherwise called the friend-zone. Although Jenna and I weren't romantic interests, I had no desire to be in the friend-zone of any girl, her included. Though I wasn't socially inclined, I knew about these things, and the few of my ilk that did know a girl, usually got this treatment, and would complain to the rest of us about it.

Coming up to Neckbeard's, I noticed the machine from before was gone. Going in, we were greeted by Matt, and the, uh, cultivated aroma of the store. "Girlfriend not with you today?" the owner, Matt asked.

"Who, Jenna? Yeah, she's out doing girlfriend things, I guess." I rolled my eyes.

We went on to pick some movies up, filling our queue for a while. After paying, we were on the way to Scott's place when he began another line of questioning. "So, you haven't been to lunch all week, what gives?"

"You know, man, just hanging out,"

"Not at the library," Scott finished.

"I've gone to a different spot everyday." It was such a weak excuse. I could have smacked myself for it.

"Oh, and well, you haven't seen Maya?"

"The girl you mentioned? Actually, no," I answered confidently.

"She seems to only be at school during lunch," Scott deduced, his eyes in thinking mode.

"Do you like her?"

"Nah. She sits with the high-maintenance group."

"Oh, okay." I knew he suspected something, but I wasn't sure if he put my absence with Maya's presence together. I mean, to anyone else, it shouldn't be plausible that we have anything to do with each other, even someone as smart as Scott. If he did suspect anything, he kept it to himself, as I heard nothing else about it all weekend, which was fine by me.

~~~

During a lunch period, I exchanged numbers with some girls who wanted to go out to a mall the following Friday. I agreed; I knew that they would probably boy watch, but I could get in a conversation or two about what the pretty girls actually liked in guys, and this would be my first outing with others as Maya. I had gone to run a few errands in my female form, getting used to it. I enjoyed the way I was treated, everyone was much nicer to me. I knew that guys were eyeing me as as the pretty girl I appeared to be; a possible conquest, and thus their motivation for helping me out was suspect, but even women inherently treated me nicer. There seemed to be no negatives to being Maya, other than the fact that I had no actual life as her. Also, I would need to get clothes of my own, and I was sure my new friends' hobbies included shopping, and vanity. They could even save me effort by choosing my stuff for me.

~~~

The week passed smoothly, Scott hadn't asked me anything about Maya, nor my whereabouts at lunch, and still no one else questioned me too much as Maya, apparently satisfied with my cover story.

Friday, after school, I told Scott that I wasn't going to be able to hang out, but would tomorrow. He was fine with it, he said that he'd probably game tonight, as it'd been movies, and projects recently.

Arriving home, I changed into Maya, and looked up the most simple ways to tease my hair into an acceptable style for my skill. I also waited until my sister left, and snatched some of her make-up, and magazines. I looked at the colors, and then tried to find women who wore similar shades to what my sister had, and I would copy that. It was simple enough, like drawing, something I was more than proficient at.

Satisfied that I looked good enough, I snuck out while Mom and Dad were away, and met with the girls a few blocks from my house. The girls, a group of four, welcomed me in the large Audi sedan. There were 3 girls, I recognised from the cheer squad, Leslie, a leggy blonde, Amanda, a curvy brunette, and the driver, Ashley also blonde, I would say she was gorgeous. In the back as I swung in, I was looking at the last passenger...Jenna!?

After we greeted, my eyes caught Jenna, who was next to me, in the middle. We both nervously smiled. I felt as if I shouldn't have been there; in my mind, Jenna knew who I was. I glanced at the familiar scenery out of my window to distract myself, when I heard my name called.

"Maya?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"I could have picked you up at your house," Ashley said.

"Ah, thanks but my parents would have come out and bothered everyone," I lied. Good thing, as Jenna would have known my house. We went to Bayside Mall, which oddly enough, was not near a bay. The trip there was basically myself nodding and agreeing with various things they said, and an occasional interjection, if I somewhat knew the subject. It had been joked that this is what marriage was like. Mentally, I was still a man, okay, a boy, among girls, and it seemed to be an agreeable notion.

We entered the mall, in our clique, a lot of male attention was on us, even that of men I was sure could be our father's age. I followed them, as we walked around, going to various stores, looking at items, holding things in front of themselves, asking opinions. It was tiresome. When I came here as Mike, I knew what I wanted, I got it, and got out. Nothing other than my original goal ever mattered.

The girls pointed out guys, asking my opinion, to which I gave non- committal "he's okay" answers. While I liked the fact that I was attractive to people, I still wasn't happy that it was to guys. I still felt the same. Guys were nasty to me, the girls I was with, however...

I had noticed that Jenna wasn't as gung-ho about the guy watching as the rest. Other than being a pretty girl, she didn't seem to have much in common with the rest of the group. Sure, she laughed, giggled, and did uh, girly stuff with them, but she seemed a little detached.

Having a seat in the food court, all; the girls scooted in a close group, commenting that I hadn't said much, or commented on any guys. "So, what's your type of guy?" Ashley asked, the others looking at me intently.

"Uh, well..." I didn't have an answer. Sure, I knew if a guy was handsome, in a totally straight way, but I really didn't feel like judging anyone now, in 'Maya's' straight opinion. If the answer wasn't genuine, the girls would see through me, making this possibly uncomfortable.

"She doesn't have an answer," Jenna said for me. I think she could read me, much the same as when I was Mike.

"Let her answer, this is boring."

"Well, I never put much thought into it. I guess different guys can have different qualities that stand out."

"You don't think about it? Looking like you do? You must get hit on all the time!" they said, minus Jenna.

"No, not really," Which was the truth. No one had actually yet had the chance to do so.

"Wow, you sound like a prude," the also well-developed Amanda commented. "Are you a..."

"Virgin? Yes," I answered proudly. Strange. Answering this question 'yes' as an attractive girl was something to be proud of. However, as an ungainly boy, it would be an embarrassment. Double standards sucked.

The girls looked at me in shock. Except Jenna, who grabbed my hands into hers, smiling. "That's great, Maya!" In my male mind, seeing this cute expression on Jenna was nice. Even as Maya, it was relaxing. Jenna was definitely a good girl.

"Jenna thinks it's nice because she's also a virgin!" Amanda commented. "And will forever remain one, hanging out with those nerds!"

"Both are choices I made, Manda, choices I am perfectly happy with," Jenna said confidently.

"Really?" Leslie asked, her mouth twisted into a 'pfft' pout.

"There's nothing wrong with either," I added. "I also want someone special for my first," I said truthfully. "And I don't see the problem with nerds," I added, wanting to get their opinion. In fact, that was why I came; to get intelligence. Although coming from these girls, I doubted much that I would learn would actually be intelligent.

"I mean, nerds will be fine, after they have their uber careers. They can help raise the kids we'll have with the hot guys, and we might give them one of their own if they aren't impotent," Amanda laughed.

"Wow. You have it worked out already," I commented.

"They make their own beds by being they way they are. Look at Jenna's friend, Scott. He is such a waste. Throw some nice clothes on that guy, and tell him to shut up, and I'd do him," Amanda said, looking at Jenna. "That other guy..." She just laughed without finishing.

I wanted to punch this girl, but I was learning what hot girls thought. It actually seemed that the relationship between Amanda and Jenna was catty

"They're not bad guys," Jenna said defensively.

~~~~

I was sure that I lost half of my brain cells dealing with those girls yesterday. Only Jenna was a proverbial ray of light. However, I'd gotten a few outfits to wear as Maya, which was the main goal. Scott and I hung out as usual this weekend, with our usual activities. I was on the floor, while he laid across the couch, and I heard him say, "Dude, you lay like a girl."

I noticed myself, and immediately shifted. 'Dammit!' I thought. All the alone time just hanging in my room as Maya, must be affecting me, I was in fact laying with my arms folded under my chin, swinging my calves, something that seemed natural to do when I was Maya. I still didn't know if Scott was considering anything, and it really bothered me. I just didn't want him to know. What would he think? That I was gay? Or that I liked being a girl? I mean.. that last part was semi-true. I did like being Maya, I mattered so much more to everyone. There wasn't this overly sexual feeling to being Maya, I couldn't describe it.

~~~~~~~

Monday, Scott and I walked to school, with Jenna flanking us. "Hi guys!" Scott greeted her, and she gave me a nervous smile.

"Hey," I said non-committally.

"So, I hung out with the new girl this weekend," Jenna began. Scott and I looked at each other. "She's totally awesome. You guys would love her."

"That so?" Scott asked. "So you're not the only good girl that hangs with the 'in-crowd?'"

"Hey, those are...uh my friends. Nah, frenemies." She chuckled. "Well, she's a virgin, and wants someone special, and isn't turned off by nerds. In fact, Manda was letting everyone now how she feels about you guys, and Maya defended you! It was awesome!" Jenna was smiling. "Maybe I'll get her to come over for lunch. It'll be like a double-date!" She laughed. Grabbing my arm, she said, "I'll take this one, and Scott, you can have Maya!"

I grabbed my arm from Jenna. "I still haven't seen this mystery girl."

"That's right," Scott said, "she's supposed to be on a work program...so I hear..."

"So you hear...?" Jenna teased. "I think that we have a match!"

"Well, no," Scott quickly answered. "She's a little interesting. And, I do remember Mike having a picture on his phone, and I swear that was her." He looked towards me, "You still have that?"

"Nope. So, she looked like that, huh?" I feigned bemusement. "Not bad."

"She's really nice, though, "Jenna began, "and she feels very familiar. Like I've known her forever."

"I guess if you say so." I rolled my eyes. I decided against Maya today. I knew what was waiting if I did. Also I couldn't explain my presence, or lack of, considering. Maya would have to wait to meet Scott.

~~~~~

I looked at my phone, seeing a message from Jenna.

'You mad bro, or nah?'

'Wat'

'Can we talk?'

'We talk often enough'

'Serious here. Please'

Ugh. I didn't like how this was sounding, and I really didn't want to be bothered.

'Okay whatever, after school'

'thx ;)'

~~~~~

After School, I met Scott, and told him that Jenna wanted to talk, so I would catch up to him later. He signed off, leaving towards his destination, and I waited for Jenna. She appeared to be saying her good- byes to her so-called frenemies, leaving me wondering why they were worth the time to do so. Being Maya certainly didn't give me insight on why girls can keep people around them that they couldn't tolerate much of. I guess it's more stuff to snicker about during girl talk. I guess.

Jenna walked up to me smiling. "Hi, Mike"

"Jenna." I exhaled. "So, you know your friends are probably shitting on us right now."

"They are," she answered plainly, hunching her shoulders.

"And they're your friends? I totally and completely get that."

"You'd have to be a girl." She grinned.

'What you don't know....' I thought. However that didn't make it any more clear. We began walking towards our neighborhood. "You said you wanted to speak..." I looked at Jenna who was walking with her head a little lowered, and her arms in front, fingers intertwined.

"Right. Mike," she began, looking at me, "I would like to know what I've done to you?"

I rubbed my face in exasperation before answering, "Nothing."

"Mike, I know you. That 'nothing' means something," she argued.

"I am not mad at you, you haven't done anything. Unless I may consider your pestering me currently, a thing."

"Pestering? I'm trying to get to the bottom of whatever's going on in that head of yours. You've been different, more distant lately."

"Distant? How? Not any more distant than two people of the opposite gender who hang in opposite crowds," I pointed out.

"But does that mean you have to act like this to me?"

"I'm not acting any kind of way, Jenna!" I exclaimed. "What is your deal? Why is it that important? You have a life to live, and hanging out around Scott and I isn't going to help, when you have to defend your actions in doing so every time you hang out. It would be easier for us all... if you'd stop hanging around."

"Wow, you really feel that way?" Jenna asked, seemingly hurt. We'd been friends for a long time, and she was genuinely a great girl to her core, and I didn't want a daily reminder of what I couldn't have in my face everyday. It might be selfish, but Jenna truly got nothing from hanging with us, unless you count ridicule.

"We're friends, dammit. Does that not mean anything? We enjoy all the same things, we never run out of things to do, or talk about. I wouldn't be happy if I had to stop hanging around you guys."

~~~~~

It was lunch time, and I had gone through my ritual of becoming Maya, and going to lunch. I was picking at the food I was eating, when I noticed an incoming call. My ringtone, a tone from the game Skyrim loudly played. Girls looked at me as I pulled out my phone to quiet it.