Girl

"That wasn't an answer, but okay. We had a swell time, just hanging out, like any other time, minus Scott. Oh, and I got to kick Chad Wellington's ass."

Michelle covered her mouth, gasping. "How bad?"

"Just enough so that he won't be a problem anymore. He never really was one to begin with, I think they didn't like seeing Jenna out with me. Someone in the clique's probably gunning for her."

"She's always with you anyway."

"Not really, especially lately; Mike is nowhere to be found, if I can help it."

"So, you're choosing to be a girl with Scott, rather than be a man with Jenna?" Michelle asked.

"A man, with Jenna? You say that as if that's a choice. Look at the kind of guys that have gone after Jenna, and look at me. I wouldn't blame her," I shrugged. "I've told her time, and time, to stop hanging with us. I don't get her. She can obviously be super happy without worrying about Mike."

My sister looked perplexed, then answered, "Has she ever had a boyfriend?"

I exhaled. "But that doesn't matter, as lacking as Mike is, I more than make up for everything!" I happily said.

"Especially in ego." I looked at my sister, I had no words. "It's not a dick, don't take it so hard. Confidence can be a good thing, but maybe turn it down a notch."

"I was trash that nobody wanted for a long time. I don't act haughty or anything, but right now I'm speaking facts. I'm desirable. I almost seem..."

"Flawless?"

I raised my palms. "See, I didn't say it." But, even as she noticed, it was true.

"I get it."

"I'm not going to say, I'm not happy to know that nearly any guy breathing would want me. I like being wanted. I'm sure you know the feeling. But also, Jenna and I get along great when I'm Maya because I'm not arrogant."

"Exactly."

I looked at my sister, dumbfoundedly. "Exactly what? You keep saying that, as if a point's been proven. What point?"

"Jenna. You acknowledged that she's down to earth, yet you put her on the same level as every other girl. You said you've gone out with the girls, and Jenna doesn't act like them. I mean, I'm just saying."

"Well, if Jenna thinks I'm okay, then she could make herself useful, and find me a girlfriend," I shook my head, "What am I even saying? Why does that matter?" I chuckled.

"You've really learned nothing in all your time as a girl," Michelle stated.

"I know what I need to, I think. If not, I have an older sister, right?"

Michelle exhaled.

===

I was at school the following day, and I was approached by a girl. I knew her as one of the girls in the popular group.

"Hey, Thomas, is it?"

"Mike; Thomas is my first name."

"So, Mike, I heard that you're, well, interesting..." She was lightly biting her lip, and twirling her hair by her ear.

"Uh, I'm not sure what you mean. I just.."

"I want to get to know you a little," She ran a finger up my arm, causing hairs to stand. Did she know what happened with Chad? Was she sent here to set me up somehow? Nikki was incredibly gorgeous, and I wasn't a cool kid, rather than being happy, I was suspicious.

"Why do you want to know me? I'm just a faceless guy here."

"Oh? Well faceless guys that can kick Chad's ass?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, nervously. Jenna came up and grabbed my arm, positioning herself inside.

"Hey, Nikki, what's up?" she asked.

"Oh, Jenna. I just wanted to talk to... Mike." She eyed me.

"I see."

"You're just old pals, right?" Nikki asked Jenna, who didn't answer. She then looked at me, asking again, "Right?"

I didn't want to put Jenna in a situation, so I answered, "Yeah." Jenna elbowed me slightly.

"Nikki, he can talk to you later, we have matters to discuss."

"I will see you around, Mike." Nikki gave me the most sultry look, as she then walked away. Half of me was scared of this uncertainty, the other half was thinking that I should've kicked someone's ass a long time ago!

"Mike!" Jenna exclaimed. "What are you even thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing. Well, this sucks if someone knows about that. I don't want to fight anyone. I'm not sure someone with the ego of Chad could take that being public knowledge."

"I didn't say anything. Maybe one of his buddies leaked it. You said nothing, I said nothing, it's not on us, besides, do you think he'll mess with you again?"

"Who knows?"

"And why did you freeze up to Nikki? You could have said I was more than a childhood pal, even if to get her off your back."

'Nikki - on my back,' I thought. Was this real?

"Mike! I can't believe you right now. You're thinking about her aren't you!?" I could only shake my head. "I saved you this time. Don't get eaten up next time."

"Jenna, why would I lie, and damage your reputation? You see how quickly news spreads. As it is, you already have to justify being seen around Scott, and I. We may be good friends, but it's too hard on both of us to continue."

"Explain, where is this coming from?"

With that, the home room warning bell rang, and I turned to walk to mine. I couldn't explain to Jenna why being her friend was hard to for me. I knew someone like her was the perfect girl for me. No, SHE was the perfect girl for me. I hated knowing that she was, as cliche' as it sounded, so close, yet so far away. But, now, I had options. With the incident, at least one girl seemed interested in me, and there was always Maya.

I was thinking further throughout the school day.

As bad as things could potentially be, there was a possible silver lining; a girl approached me! I should be careful, but there's a risk reward game here, and with my lack of luck in the lady department, I may be willing to take it.

~~~~~

At lunchtime, I sat a bit from Scott, now that I wasn't doing the Maya thing, it was harder to hang out. As I ate in silence, I felt a presence behind me, then weight on my shoulders.

"Hey!" I almost gasped, it was Nikki, at OUR lunch table, talking to ME!? "Why don't you come with me?" I looked at everyone, including Scott, before considering. "I don't bite, yet," Eyes and ears at the table were going a mile a minute. Not wanting to make a scene, I got up, and let her lead the way. We'd made it to the unofficial smoker's area, all alone.

"So, uh, Nikki, we're here. What did you want?"

Nikki got entirely too close, replying, "You," I could feel her breath as she spoke that word. I was in shock. But this was too good to be true.

"Why?"

"Does it matter? I can tell that you want me too." She grabbed me in an area that I thought would never be touched by a girl, let alone one this hot! I had to clear my mind, if I were in a compromising situation and being recorded, or set up for something, the fallout and embarrassment could be much worse than I wanted to imagine.

"I'm sorry, but to me it does."

"You're no fun, Mike! she said, rubbing my lower abdominal area.

"I'm suddenly being approached by one of the best looking girls in school. Me. Are there flying pigs outside?"

Nikki chuckled.

"Well, I didn't know you were a bad boy."

"I'm definitely not."

"Well, a few people knows what happened with Chad."

"Is he mad?" I asked, concernedly.

"Does it matter? Are you afraid that he'll kick your ass?" She touched my chest, sending shocks through me by her mere touch, giggling.

"I just prefer everything stay the same."

"That's boring, Mike. You could be the Alpha if you want. What would Chad do about it? I bet Amanda would do you too!"

"Thanks, I guess? But you can indulge my curiosity though, why does beating Chad up, make me 'doable'?"

"It just...does, okay? I mean nobody is looking for the love of their life in high school. At least most aren't. We are just living life, and having a little fun. Knowing you can do what you did, piqued my interest, and it's not like you're a bad looking guy Mike; some of your nerd friends are doable, but you know," She rolled her eyes and shrugged, "nerds. You have to have a little spontaneity. Let me ask you, Mike?"

"Okay?"

"You think I'm just stupid, don't you?"

I shook my head, "I questioned your motives, not your intelligence."

"Great answer. You know, unfortunately, some people may have, ah, accidents, and it can cost them everything. But we're taking the bad with the good, and that's not to minimize those possible outcomes. You do, whatever it is you do, wanting to be safe, know the possibilities beforehand, have all the possible answers. You won't deviate much, if at all, right?" She didn't wait for an answer, continuing, "when you're an adult, you want that simple, pre-planned life."

"It's safe, just as you surmised."

"But you'll miss out on things. Like me." She hit me with the 'do me' eyes.

"I may kick myself every day of my life if I don't, but I don't want to do that to you. Oddly enough, I've always cursed the fact that I couldn't get a girl to be interested, I wanted it, just like everyone else gets it, and yet, here you are, here I am. And, I, I...can't."

"Well, you're not that kind of guy. I see that now. I know you can use your fists, and I was hoping other parts of your body were trained, or could get a work-out!"

I sighed loudly, "The next time I have a chance like this, may be years from now, once all the women have kids by someone like Chad."

"You don't have to look at it like that. Sure, some of us will make mistakes, but if you feel that you're worth it, you'll get what you want, in due time. Hmmm, I know someone that's perfect for you. Maybe they'll speak up one day."

I smiled. "I got a lot out of this conversation, I'm glad we spoke, Nikki."

Again, getting very close, she brought herself to my face. "Me too, you're a nice guy. I like you even more now," she said, giving me a peck on the cheek.

The bell rang, indicating that lunch was over.

"See ya."

"Later."

~~~~~

Later that day, I was talking to Scott.

"She wanted to do it. I mean IT. With Mike!"

"Okay, that's what you wanted, right?"

"I thought I did, I passed. I'm so confused right now. I want more than just a willing partner. I would've been just a notch on her belt, at least I think."

Scott looked at me with concern. "I really can't give you any advice. I just don't know.."

"But what about us?"

"You know where I stand. I support any decision you make, but everything has to line up with your ability to be Maya full time thereafter. And that's for your sake. I know you can't be Mike in front of me. As much as I tell you, I'm not bothered by it. I really don't want you to have a meltdown because of things."

"You just know what to say. Maybe I have a maiden's heart now?" I joked lightly, but maybe. Scott smirked. "Oh, Scott, the prom is this Friday. Will you take me?

After a brief pause, Scott answered, "Ah, I can't, we're going to Gram's."

"Well, can you take me?"

"No!!!! You know my family will ask all kinds of questions, we'd be under crazy scrutiny, plus I mean, some girl that my Mom and Dad has never met, who would I be to consider having my grandmother show you hospitality as well?"

"But..."

"No, it's not going to work. Mike could come, but I doubt you'd want to do that. You'd have to be Mike pretty much all the time."

"I know...I'm sorry. I.."

"Don't apologize. You know it's not you; we're in a very delicate situation here. I'd love to tell my family that you're my girlfriend, but as far as they'd be concerned, you'd be too new."

"I know you're right. Um, I think I'll probably still go to the prom."

"As Maya?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to be on the sidelines this time."

"I understand. Just don't do anything rash."

"I won't. Thanks, Scott."

"What did I do?

"Put up with me!"

~~~~~

"Michelle, have a minute?"

"Sure, sis! Come on in, I'll be going out in a minute, but I've got time for my favorite sister," she teased.

"I want to talk to someone about the crazy things going on."

"Sure."

"I was given a proposition." Michelle didn't look surprised, I then added, "As Mike." Now, she did.

"And what did you do?"

"I turned her down. She's interested because of the Chad thing. And she's hot. I've been waiting for this to happen, and it finally did! And what did I do?" I sighed, "nothing!"

"Why not?" Michelle asked.

"I don't know, maybe nervous, scared, just came too easily? I can't pinpoint a reason."

"Would you rather do it as a boy or girl?"

"I don't know. I've been looking forward to it much longer as a boy. But, I have Scott; the perfect person for me to be with, as a girl."

"And why haven't you guys done it yet?"

"Well, Scott pointed out, that everything changes, once we take that step. I already hate to be Mike in front of him. How will it be, if I have to be Mike around him, after I have sex with him? He's got a point. I can't be Maya 100% of the time, and I'd probably hate myself enough to give me anxiety, or some other mental illness."

Rubbing her chin, Michelle followed up. "And if you have sex as Mike, what would you do about Scott?"

"I..don't know...." I heavily answered. "Too many variables. I thought this would be easy. I mean, as Maya, I'm desired, and as Mike, I've been offered what I've wanted, on a platter, no less, and yet I'm not any closer to losing the V-card!"

"Maybe it's not about losing your virginity as quickly as possible. I don't think you're that kind of person. I think you still want it to matter for your first time."

"I don't know. I would've done it, if I really wanted to. Maybe you're right. What about you?"

My sister looked at me incredulously. "I'm not going to talk..." Then she softened, sighing, "I guess it can't be helped. No, I'm not a virgin, happened when I was 14."

"Why?"

"I just wanted to. I wasn't in love with him, I wanted to experience sex, and you know, we have no shortage of willing partners," she chuckled. "It was okay, not great. I....uh, give myself much better pleasure. At our age guys don't know anything, so unless we're just horny, that may be why we can live without it. Well, some of us. Some girls just have a high sex drive, like guys. Maybe your girl is one of them," she shrugged. "Some girls go after older men, to see if things get better with age; I haven't because I think about Dad's friends", she laughed, "But some girlfriends of mine, have said sex with a guy is worth looking forward to when they have some techniques other than pumping and grunting until they're satistifed."

"That. Is. Deep." I just got an education in sex ed, apparently.

"And, no, I haven't done it too many times since. But you, I think you'll know when, and who it should be with."

I switched gears, beginning, "I was wanting to go to the prom. If I go as Maya, I won't have a date; Scott's going out of town. Of course, Mike," I laughed, "doesn't have one."

"Well, you have lover girl, don't you?"

"Nobody said anything about doing anything or being seen elsewhere. She also said as much; different social sectors. If I joined the 'cool kids,' I could probably have my choice."

"That sounds like your simple answer. But there's a couple people that I can think of that would be disappointed."

"Huh?" I asked. My sister lightly chuckled again. "That betrays who I am."

"Exactly. So does this mad rush to get laid," she added.

"I have my reasons."

"That may be affected by hormones," Michelle finished.

"No. I don't look at every girl out there with lustful eyes. I just don't want to be 'that guy.' Guys that get laid earlier are more confident later on. If I'm in college and I have no idea what to do, I might as well hang it up until I'm too old to get an attractive woman by means other than money."

"So, you're considering the future as Mike?"

"Both. Although, I don't really see a reason to. I can have the partner I want, as Maya, even if it's not Scott. I don't have to be concerned whether I'm good enough. Someone will want me. IF it comes down to it."

Michelle looked at me thoughtfully. "Wow, it really seems confusing."

"Oh, it is. But who should I go as?"

"Well, on one hand, if the goal is to get laid, either works. Your girl will probably take you under the bleachers, in the bathroom, or whereever," Michelle laughed. "If you can get over being touched by a guy other than Scott, then you have limitless options." Michelle rubbed her chin. "I think without a date, you'll probably have a better time as Maya. Plus, I get to pretty you up!"

I laughed. "Well, I guess it's settled. Let me sneak outta here before Mom and Dad get upstairs."

~~~~~

The week leading up to the prom was uneventful. I hung out with Scott after school as was the norm now. We hadn't really done 'couple's things' but that was okay, I still had to face him at school with my male form, which I still hated to do. When I imagined him grabbing me, holding me, or touching me in that form, it made me dry heave. Imagining his hands digging into my male chest, or grabbing by male ass, gross! I wanted the passing of time, so I could leave this form behind for good.

Other than Chad and his goons now nodding as we passed, and once or twice acknowledging my existence, things as school died off, except for Nikki waving at me, discreetly, and every-so-often. Sometimes, it would be when Jenna was hovering around me, and she'd get a little irritated.

"Aren't you like friends, or what is it...frenemies?"

"Exactly! She's just irritating me because she can."

"But how is it irritating?"

"It just is, okay?" Jenna snapped.

I raised my hands in defeat. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She then softened. "Hey, "What're you doing Friday?"

"Nothing. Er, well, going to Scott's. For the same old, you know."

"But what about Maya? You guys don't hang out as much since he has a girlfriend, right? Actually come to think of it, none of us really do, anymore. We all totally need to do something!"

"Ah, we'll be going out to his grandmothers. She can't really go out there with him, so I guess I'm back in, haha."

"Oh, okay. Cool.

~~~~~

It was prom night. As Mike, I'd bought two tickets; one for myself, and one for Maya as my guest. Of course, all I needed was Maya's ticket. Michelle made me look exquisite; my skin a perfect alabaster, my blue to purple eye- shadow perfectly accentuating my bright eyes, my lashes, thick, and luxurious, my brows, plucked to arched perfection. My lips were a perfect heart. My sandy blonde hair, styled in perfect ringlets framing my face. I filled out her previous prom dress very nicely, my ample chest on display.

"Wow, you are literally perfect. I just can't believe this! You may be right to just stay this way, you'll have anything at your fingertips!"

"Aw, thank you. You really outdid yourself here. I would marry me, and not let me come out of the house!"

We both had a laugh. "Well, I'm also glad that this happened. It's been kinda fun hanging and talking with you this little bit."

"I agree," I said, hugging my sister. "We may make more memories yet!"

Michelle smiled. "You bet, sis!"

I looked great, I felt great! It couldn't get any better. Michelle dropped me off at School, and nervously, I walked up to the door, the few in the vestibule all turning to look at me at once. Once I made it to the desk, I passed my ticket. My name was checked off the list and without question, I was free to go into the auditorium.

Upon entering the threshold, once again, nearly every head turned to face me, guys with desire, and girl with a little jealousy. Some guys were fixed way too long as their dates had to pry them away.

I surveyed the dim room.

"Oh, hey!" A very pretty blonde flashed a heart melting smile.

"Ah, Jenna!" She took me into a hug. "Oh my God, I...you, are so beautiful."

"You think so!?" she gushed.

"I've never seen you like this! Even normally you're gorgeous, but, wow," Although since I wasn't Mike, it was easy for me to feed Jenna these, very true compliments, this also confirmed what I always knew; she was waaaay, way, out of my league, you know, as if that was even a consideration.