All Comments on 'Gloria'

Can you spell harem!

5

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"Claire," I said, "you realize I would be having a sexual relationship with your daughter."

OK, this is an unnecessary and insulting question. Of course, Claire realizes this. Does he think she’s a moron? Not the sort of idiotic question that inspires me to think the rest of the dialogue will be believable.

Also, if Gloria is ‘disillusioned with men’…why does she want to have sex with her mother’s lover? A little explanation of the nature of her concerns with men is in order here.

"Then you know I want to be a part of your relationships with Claire and Margaret," she said.

This is what I mean. What daughter uses her mother’s given name when discussing her? Any normal person would have said, ‘…Mom and Margaret.’

Read your dialogue out loud, and ask yourself if people would really talk this way.