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This work is mostly fiction. All events including celebrities did NOT actually take place. The side stories not including celebrities were based on real events, however. Celebrities don't act like this in real life... probably.
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This is my first story and it took a lot of time and a lot of procrastinating and a lot of jacking sessions.
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This is a fantasy about meeting the beautiful and underappreciated Larisa Oleynik, star of The Secret World of Alex Mack from back in the day, and 10 Things I Hate About You. It's a story of romance, humor, lust, and erotica.
It's a story with an actual plot that includes sexual activity. It's riddled with dirty jokes and humor. It includes MF, FF, MFF, cons, oral, anal, dream, rom, exh, first, fDom, Mmast, Fmast, and BDSM. Celebrities referenced – Larisa Oleynik, Julia Stiles, Melissa Joan Hart.
First off, let me tell you about myself. My name is Matt and I'm a 19 year old college student. Anyways, enough about me. Here's how it all started. I live with my roommate Lee whom I had met during freshman year. We got along well I guess, having the same habits and sharing a love of the cold weather. He did tend to get on my nerves though. One day, his friend Michelle called him up from her school in California. She said she would be coming back here with a friend for a week. "Michelle's gonna come up here for the week with her friend. If they wanna stay here a few nights, that's cool right?" Lee asked after he had already hung up the phone. ...sigh...
"Yeah that's fine," I said. I hoped Michelle's friend was good looking, or at least cool. Michelle was pretty cool, and really hot, and another girl I had run a batch to (that means jackin' off), so I hoped her friend would be similar to her. It would be cool to hang out with a different chick for the week, because I didn't have a girlfriend at the time.
Skip ahead a few days. Michelle and her friend arrived at our dorm on Friday at around 2:00. I finished classes for the day at about one, and Lee had off that day. I don't know how the son of a bitch gets like two days off every semester. Anyway, I was in the bathroom taking one of my famous twenty-three minute long shits when they came up to the room. I walked in and was totally shocked. Lemme ask you something my friend. How many people have their fantasy girl sitting on their bed? Not many, unless your fantasy girl is a fat ugly troll friend who would let you bang her when your real girlfriend is outa town. Then it's a high number. I had run a batch to this very girl so many times. Now I'm seeing her in person. Wow. Sitting on my bed was Larisa Oleynik. The cute and beautiful star of 10 Things was IN MY ROOM, ON MY BED. The girl is on my "Top Five People I'd Have Sex With" list for Christ's sake. Definitely going to have to sniff the bed after she leaves. Mmm.
"Matt, you remember Michelle, right?" Michelle looked hot. She is about 5'5 with long brown hair and a great body. She had a naval and tongue piercing and was just gorgeous. She was wearing a pair of tight ass jeans and a sweatshirt jacket. "And I know you know who this is," said Lee jokingly.
"...Hi Michelle," I said, not taking my eyes off Larisa. Snapping myself back into reality, I finally looked at Michelle. "How are you?"
"Hey, I'm Matthew. ...Matt," I said to Larisa as I went to shake her hand.
"Larisa." Her hand was so soft and delicate. God I was so close to just taking it and putting it on my nuts, but I wanted to be a gentleman.
"Nice to meet you," I said. It was more like a dream come true.
"Same here," she replied.
"How are you Larisa?"
"I'm good, thanks. You?" God she was absolutely stunning. She was wearing jeans and a grey sweatshirt hoodie. I couldn't get over how cute she looked. She really had the girl next door thing going on. To me, there's nothing sexier than a girl that wears relaxing clothes and above all else, just looks comfortable.
"I'm good," I replied. At this point I had regained my composure and sat down at my desk next to my bed.
"I like your room," Larisa commented as she took a quick look around.
"Thanks," I said.
"Matt came up with the setup," Lee added. I had totally forgotten Lee and Michelle were in the room. I was so surprised that Larisa Oleynik was here that I unintentionally forgot about the other people.
"Well, I watch a lot of Queer Eye." That got a laugh from everyone.
"Queer Eye Matt?" Michelle asked.
"Yeah. I jumped on that band wagon early. I don't wanna be one of those people who jump on late and hang on to the side of the wagon. I wanna be inside it, kicking them off, going 'I was here first, you poser'."
We all sat there and chatted for a few minutes, making small talk. Lee and Michelle decided to go see some of their old friends from high school that also went to school here. "Hey. Lee and me are going to go say hi to some people I haven't seen in a while. You two hang out, get acquainted, and later we'll all get dinner. Is that cool?" asked Michelle. Who was I not to jump at the opportunity to spend some quality alone time with Larisa? I just hope she didn't feel like she was getting stranded with a stranger.
"Sure. That sounds great," replied Larisa while giving me a little smile. I guess not.
"Just call us when you're ready," I said.
"Sure thing. Bye Rissy. Bye Matt," said Michelle as she dragged Lee out of the room by his arm.
So there we were, Larisa Oleynik and me, together and alone in my dorm room. This is how wet dreams start. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare before."
She blushed and said, "It's all right." Larisa brushed her hair out of her eyes and sat with her hands folded on her lap.
"I just wanna get this out of the way. Alex Mack... Greatest... show... ever. And 100 Girls was hysterical. You're all Oscar worthy."
"Hahaha. Thanks. It was a lot of fun to make. Too bad it didn't do better."
"Yeah. ...so how did you become friends with Michelle?" I didn't want to be the weird fan boy.
"Well, we met at a coffee shop actually. She had this shy guy friend who was attracted to me, so she came up and was like, 'Hey. My friend thinks you're really cute.' Haha. She totally embarrassed him. It was so cute. We all hung out and Michelle and I hit it off and started hanging out," she explained. Then she winked at me and said, "But don't worry, me and her friend aren't going out or anything." Could she be flirting with me? I didn't ask about her relationship status. Does she want to hook up? Why else would she have said that?
I sat there in disbelief, hesitating as to how to respond to that. "...I'm sorry. I'm a craptacular host. Would you like something to drink?" I asked.
"Sure. What do you have?"
I went over to our "gigantic" microwave/fridge combo and looked around. "Umm... Water, V8, beer, iced tea..."
"You guys carry everything don't ya. Haha. I'll have a water, thanks. So anyways, what do you do for fun Matty?" she asked as I handed her a bottle of Poland Spring.
"Weird, only one other girl has ever called me Matty."
"Oh, really? Who's this girl?"
"Oh, just some girl I used to have a crush on since the sandbox. We haven't really seen each other since the beginning of high school."
"I know how that is. It stinks," Larisa said. I wanted to be that bottle of water, to touch her lips... to have her enjoy me.
"Yeah. Anyways... hobbies. I play guitar and bass, go to concerts, buy band t-shirts, masturbate constantly, hang out, listen to O&A, and Ron and Fez... Nothing special."
"Those are the radio guys that got kicked off right?" she asked.
"Yeah. I used to listen to them all the time at work. They were the only thing that got me through the day."
"The government is so stupid. It was a funny bit and they didn't deserve to get kicked off." I was IN LOVE now. She was perfect for me.
"Yeah, but what are you gonna do. You know."
"Yeah. True," she said. "So how long have you been making music?" She was more at ease now, her hands behind her on the bed, supporting her as she leaned back.
"Haha. I wouldn't exactly call it making music. I've been playing since I was a sophomore in high school. That's like 14... 15?" I had no idea.
"That's really cool. Would you play something for me?" she asked as she looked over at Lee's guitar. He had an acoustic that had the dirtiest grimiest strings ever. It was like a six string bass with all the gunk on the strings (because bass strings are a lot thicker than guitar strings). But when Larisa asks me to play her something, I couldn't care less about that.
"Okay. Any requests?" She shook her head no and told me anything I want. So now what do I play? Something heavy like Godsmack or Metallica, or something softer?
"Do you know Everlong, by the Foo Fighters?" I asked as I picked up my roommates acoustic guitar.
"Yeah, I like the acoustic version better than the CD one."
"Awesome haha. Cause that's what you're gonna get. The acoustic version is definitely better." I was never so nervous playing before. I really wanted to impress her. I played and sang, looking into her eyes, "If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again..." When I finished she gave me a round of applause. "Thank you, thank you. You'll be here all week," I said.
"Ha. You're good. I wish I could play like that. I've always wanted to learn but I never gave it a chance."
I jumped in. "I'd be glad to try and teach you something. I read somewhere you like Linkin Park. Maybe we can do one of theirs." That's not true. She actually likes ska music, but I'd rather let my sons sleep over at a Catholic priest's house than include it in this story.
"Sooo, you read about me on the internet, huh?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. I was speechless.
"Um, yeah. Well I mean, I used to," I blurted out.
She smiled and assured me, "Yeah I like them. What songs can you play Matt?" she asked.
"All of them." Brad Delson isn't really the best guitar player out there, but he does what's best for the band.
"How talented. Can you teach me how to play Crawling?" CAKE.
I took out my guitar from the case in the closet, the black James Hetfield Explorer, and gave it to her along with a pick. "This one's tuned for the song. Okay, all you do is move your finger from here, to here, to here, to there, and finally here. Go slow and you'll get it." I'm such a good teacher. She tried for a minute and couldn't get the hang of it. "Here stand up," I told her. I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her, placing her finger on the correct frets. I couldn't help but notice how well groomed her fingers were. She could have been a hand model. They were incredibly soft. I bet they'd feel great on my dick. I put my hands over hers, guiding her along the neck to the proper chords. I breathed in the sweet strawberry scent of her hair. Larisa noticed what I was doing and leaned back slightly, resting herself against my chest. She began playing the song correctly and let out a small yell of achievement.
"Yay." Larisa gave me back the guitar when she finished, and I put it back in the case. We both sat down on my bed, facing each other.
"I have to say you are my best student."
"Haha. I bet I'm your only student," she replied. I hesitated. Here goes.
"...the best looking one," I told her.
She blushed and smiled. "You really think I'm the best one?"
"Yeah. You are definitely the most beautiful." Larisa put her hand on my knee as a smile spread across her angelic face.
"You're too much. That's not what I meant, but thank you," she said and smiled at me. A feeling of awkwardness fell down on us. It was the weird feeling that a kiss was on its way, with both of us not sure who'd be the one to initiate it. It was just like a movie. RING. RING. The phone rang. We both kind of jumped, the phone coming out of nowhere. It totally broke up the moment we were having. WHO'SE THE SON OF A BITCH CALLING ME NOW!!! Of course, it was Lee. Guh. He and Michelle had finished doing their thing and wanted to get dinner.
"Larisa, they're done making the rounds and are ready for dinner. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, actually. Airplane food is so bad. I haven't eaten all day," she answered.
We left for dinner a few minutes later. We all picked up our trays and utensils and got on line. Normally, we'd smack the tray out of the hands of the group member who wasn't paying attention, but I couldn't do that to my future wife. We all took helpings of the "lasagna" being served, also known as slop, and got some drinks and sat down. We all began eating and conversing. Most of the time, Lee and Michelle had their own little conversation going, catching up on old times, leaving me and Larisa more time to get to know one another. We were really hitting it off, never having an awkward silence. Throughout dinner, our eyes locked together a few times. Michelle noticed the little staring game going on and motioned for Lee to look. "Heh," he said.
"What's so funny?" I questioned.
"It seems you two have a liking for one another," said Michelle.
"Wellll... it turns out Matt and I happen to have a lot in common," she cutely remarked. A few minutes later, Larisa asked me if I would show her around the campus after we finished dinner. Naturally, I agreed. Finally, we all left the dining hall and went our separate ways: Lee and Michelle back to the dorm, and me and Larisa to see the sights.
I decided to show her the nicer parts of the campus like the quad by the classrooms, the park, etc. We walked around for a good hour or so and talked, finding out more about each other, about musical tastes, the things we enjoy, qualities desired in a significant other. "So tell me, what's the perfect girl for you Matt?"
"Hmmm. Well, I guess she'd have to be intelligent first of all. She doesn't have to be a rocket scientist, you know, but she can't be Adam Sandler in the beginning of Billy Madison... or at the end too. She would have a good sense of humor that is similar to mine, like not getting offended by a dirty joke and stuff like that. Um. She should to be easy to talk to. I like the kinda girl who doesn't always have to dress up. I think casual is better," I answered. Basically I told the truth and tried to throw in little qualities I noticed she possessed. "I'd really like to just find someone I can sit with and just be with. You know? Just get lost in her eyes and hold her. Make her feel loved."
"Aww. That's so sweet," she said. "Hmm. Interesting. Well, what about looks?" she asked as we continued to walk along the sidewalk.
I replied, "I'd prefer she look like you." She smiled. "Ah, JK JK."
"Hey!" she yelled. "And who says JK?!"
"I do. Clothing/style wise, I'm all over the place. I like everything from the skater or goth/punk look, or just plain jeans and a sweatshirt. Any G.N.D. qualities are great."
"Girl next door."
"Haha. Oh really? And you came up with that term?" she laughed.
"Well, I'm a scientist above all else. You know, trying to categorize the human species. Oh, and she should also have a warm smile."
"You're too much. Well doctor, that sounds really nice. Haha." She was digging my humor, so that was good for me.
"So, what kind of guys do you go for?" As I asked, I noticed she was chilly, so I offered her my jacket. I figured I'd score points as well.
"Well, guys who offer chilly girls their jackets are on my list," she said half jokingly.
I laughed. "Here, put this on," I said as I put my jacket around her shoulders.
"But won't you be cold?"
"Nah, I don't mind the cold weather," I told her. After I draped the jacket around her shoulders, I rubbed my hands up and down on her arms, trying to warm her, much like Zach did to Kelly in Saved by the Bell in the pool scene from the Jessie's dad's wedding episode. I looked into her eyes and she just stared back at me. We both leaned forward, our eyes shut. Our first kiss wouldn't be interrupted this time. Our lips met for the first time. It was a soft gentle kiss lasting only a second or two, but those seconds were a slice of heaven. She pulled back and smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back while brushing her hair to the side of her face. We didn't have to say anything. I could tell by the look on her beautiful face that she enjoyed the kiss as much as I did. I took her hand in mine and we continued walking through the tree covered quad in the crisp fall air.
As we were on our way back Larisa said, "I forgot to ask before. Do you have a girlfriend?" I shook my head no.
"How's that good?" I asked. I knew exactly what she meant, but was playing around with her.
"I didn't mean good for YOU Matthew." She winked as she flirted with me. "How come? You seem really sweet."
I tried to explain to her about a previous girlfriend. "...My last girlfriend. I guess you could say she wasn't playing with a full deck. There were a lot of head games with her. It was ugly, and I should have gotten out of the relationship way earlier than I did. I haven't really had another girlfriend since then."
"Oh... I'm sorry," she said hesitantly.
"Hey, it's cool. Live and love. But uh... It really doesn't bother me at the moment." Larisa looked at me and just gave me a warm smile, holding onto my hand tighter. "So, what about you? Do you have anyone you're seeing?" I asked.
"No, my last boyfriend was Joe, 'Tommy' from 3 rd Rock. We broke up a while ago. It just wasn't working out. You know, with working together and all."
"Was he too busy making Angels in the Outfield 2 to spend time with you?" God I hate that kid.
I started flapping my arms up and down, making the angels signal. "They're always watching Larisa."
"Hahaha. Oh stop," said Larisa as she playfully hit me.
"Haha. Sorry." IFUCKING hate that kid.
A little later on, Larisa and I went back to my room and decided to watch a movie to pass the time. "What do you want to watch?" I handed her a large stack of burned CDs. "Pick whatever you want." She shuffled through them looking for one.
"100 Girls? Nice bootleg copy."
"...Yeaaahh. ...Yeaahhh. Sorry."
She laughed. "I don't care. As long as you enjoyed it, I'm happy." She fumbled through the stack. "Serendipity, Matt?" she asked while laughing at the CD.
"Yeah, so what? Haha. I like all kinds of movies, and it's free. I'm gonna take advantage. And maybe I have a sweet romantic side. I'm full of surprises."
She just laughed and said, "I guess we'll find out soon enough, won't we. Let's just watch Seinfeld." She lied down on my bed as I set up the computer. I turned around and Larisa scooted over, leaving some room for me to lie down next to her.