- Reviews & Essays
- Guided Imagery & Psychic Orgasm
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\Imagine if you will, that place between sleeping & awake; where you can feel the weight of your covers, the soft scratch or cool silk of them pressed against your skin, you can hear the waking world around the edges of your awareness but you have not yet opened your eyes. You are hesitant to let go of a dream that had felt so real, one that is still playing out in your mind and through your body. Before it begins to fade more, you try to hold tightly by preserving every palpable perception; the sensation of your lover's touch on your skin, the coarseness of their fingertips as they gently caress your cheek, their scent lingers as you breathe in, their whispered words tickle your ear and neck. The rush of excitement resonates deep inside you, reverberates between your legs and the air all but buzzes with the electricity as you anticipate the inevitable quakes of physical release.
The above is an abbreviated example of guided imagery, or "hyperimperia"; a term coined by Don E. Gibbons a psychologist whose extensive work can be pulled from one's choice of search engines. Gibbons' own description of the practice is "a focused trance modality similar in many respects to traditional hypnosis with hyper acuity or heightened sensory experience."
First, let's start with an important caveat: In order to successfully submit to a psycholagnic experience, you must learn how to fully let go. This is a repeating theme throughout any kind of D/s dynamic or BDSM practice but its importance cannot be overstated. You need to trust the person you're with, and of course, you need to trust yourself. Vulnerability may not be your strong suit... it certainly is not for me and perhaps there is another article lurking within the allusion, but for now... suffice it to say that learning to relax into a state of suggestibility is an amazing opportunity to honor the dynamic between yourself and the Dom whom you serve or Partner with whom you play.
A person giving suggestions or directing energy need not necessarily be a Dom but there does need to be a complete sense of trust, love and acceptance between partners. Without this confidence the experience is likely to be subpar at best. If you want to try to achieve the orgasm WITHOUT physical contact, stimulation or complete submission to another self, consider binaural beats and Bio kinesis.
Pleasure for One:
A few hours to spare and daydreams of desirous dalliances sound like the perfect invitation to pursue a psychic orgasm. Guided imagery allows one to create the perfect scene in one's mind and play within it to unexpected points of pleasure. Mental masturbation, or psycholagny merges the 'significant stress reduction benefits... [and ability to tap into] deeper levels of wisdom (held on a subconscious level)...." with erotic hypnosis, which has been shown, through various studies, to: "...increase confidence, reduce sexual inhibitions, overcome apprehension, enhance sensuality [and] enhance sexual role-play..."
When flying solo, the addition of guided imagery can be used to become more self-aware and exhibit self-control, not only in withholding orgasm but also in reaching it without physical touch. What a boon this could be when your lover is a phone call away! Mental masturbation with a touch of erotic suggestion can also allow one to explore limits and expand ideas that maybe aren't quite ready for introduction to a scene but which really turn you on. Take that taboo for a spin in your mind, who knows, it may become your new favorite kink!
Pleasure for Two:
In April of 2020, I found myself deep in discussion with a Dom friend about this very topic and He was gracious enough to share the following:
"However we may quantify and make sense of things, there is no denying - there does exist a bond between mind and body. Within ourselves, and potentially, a bond with the mind and body of others. When things are right, this bond can be a link to our passions just exploding forth from us."
I don't think I could have said it better! We open ourselves to experiencing a world that our Partner has created with their words; the sound of their voice carrying us higher into ecstasy and knowing the intimacy of the moment is just between and for U/us.
Guided imagery is a versatile tool for exploration and intimate adventures, but can also be used to help work through trauma or feelings of isolation. Overcoming apprehension or even working through a trigger moment from past play, this can all be done within the safety of a guided imagery session. Hearing the strong voice of your Partner, feeling their protective arms around you, shielding you as you confront whatever thing stands in the way of becoming your best submissive self.
The bonus of allowing climax at the end of a psycholagny session reaffirms how loved and appreciated we are in our service, thus adding to one's desire for devotion.
References:
[1] Griffiths, M. (2016, December 14). Hypnosis And Sexual Health
A brief look at 'trance-sexuality'. Retrieved June 3, 2020
[2] Perry, M. (2017, January 12). Hyperempiria is Mental Magic. Retrieved June 3, 2020
[3] Scott, E. (2019, September 10). Use Guided Imagery for Relaxation. Retrieved June 3, 2020
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 3 years agoAfter reading your essay I sat and considered it the only way I could—as what and who I am. Once you get past the psycho-based explanations it comes down to your willingness to accept the imagery your potential partner offers you. Have you ever been seduced by a man? Perhaps seduced by your husband when you have no interest whatsoever in having sex at the moment?
So, as your essay suggests: We open ourselves to experiencing a world that our Partner has created with their words; the sound of their voice carrying us higher into ecstasy and knowing the intimacy of the moment is just between and for U/us.
The seduction can be for the moment, or framed in such a way it is meant to be acted upon later—even hours or a day later, when you will be together alone.
Yes, he describes what he would like to do to you, or have you do to him, and you build upon it in your mind. You describe it as Sub and Dom. If your husband respects you, adores you, and seeks to treat you as an equal you are often the Dom, while as the instigator, the seducer, he believes he is. You haven’t even touched one another—the roles aren’t clearly defined until physical contact is initiated—then both of you, at different times, and in different ways, are Dom and Sub.
When all is said, and done he will not enter into the sex act without your willing cooperation. Why? Because without your active participation he doesn’t believe he would be able to achieve his goal of pleasing you, pleasuring you, loving you. To do so would mean it is just sex—the seeking of physical pleasure without emotion. It would be selfish on his part—a loving man does not do that to his love.
I can only offer my own perspective as a married woman who is as straight as straight can be. I expect seduction works the same regardless of gender orientation or preference. I just don’t need all of the messy psycho-babble to find my way.
