Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 090

"Anyway, before you go, I just wanted to say thank you. Thanks for never giving up on me, no matter how many times I..." Callisto shook his head. "I can't say much. Causality is a bitch. But I'm sure you can guess that we'll have our differences. All families do. When all is said and done, I look back at you with a fondness that has yet to diminish over the years. You were a fantastic father, and I was lucky to have you in my life."

Blinding light now filled the room, but Callisto didn't seem to notice. He stood in front of Mike, his arms crossed. The runes became fire, spinning so fast that they buzzed. Mike gazed up into the eyes of his son, trying to memorize every detail. There was a chance he would never get to see this version of his child, and of all the things he had just experienced, this was the memory he wanted to carry with him the most.

"One of the first things you ever taught me is that you don't fuck with the Radley family." Callisto smiled as if lost in a memory, but then his eyes dropped to where Mike was sitting. Recognition dawned on his face, his eyes suddenly full of tears. In those shimmering eyes, Mike saw his own spectral reflection.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Callisto shook his head and put a finger to his own lips.

"This is more than enough. Don't you ever dare tell me about this part. It's the best Christmas present I have ever received." Up above them, a tunnel formed. The fiery runes were pulled into it, forming a swirling ribbon of light. Callisto looked up, noticing the tunnel, then back at Mike.

"I love you, Dad. Give them Hell."

There was a flash of light and Mike was pulled along the runes, his heart both heavy and light as the runes took him back. Shooting through a tunnel made of stars, he caught glimpses of impossible creatures just beyond the tunnel, beings that slipped from his mind the moment they were out of sight. He could only hope that the attention they paid in return also became forgotten.

The light at the end of the tunnel was blinding. He closed his eyes, amazed out how much the light leaked through his own eyelids. Crying out in pain, even his own hands couldn't block it anymore.

And then he was back. Moving his hands from his face, he was once again staring at the North Pole. The room looked just as he left it, except the amount of magic in the pole itself had dwindled even further. Stunned, he looked at his hands, then stomped on the floor to make certain he wasn't still a time-traveling ghost. The clomp his foot made echoed off the far side of the room.

"We're going to fix this," he swore, turning so sharply that his coat flared out behind him dramatically. Determination fueled him as he climbed the steps back to the home above, bursting through the door to see Yuki helping Jack/Freya look out the window. Yuki's ear twitched, and she turned to look at him.

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked. "You said you'd be gone for just a minute and it's been hours!"

"It's a weird story, but never mind right now. Where's Holly?"

"Here." The elf's head popped over the edge of the couch. She was clutching a pillow in her hands, her face lined with worry.

"We need to get out of here," he told them, crossing the room. "While we still have time."

"Yeah, well you haven't been around." Yuki gestured at the window. "That cranky bitch is back, and she's just standing out there, waiting."

Sure enough, when Mike looked outside, he saw that Grýla was outside carrying a large sack. All around her stood her children, who had started a snowball fight with each other.

"I see you, food." Grýla's eyes lit up from within when she saw Mike. The ground rumbled beneath them. "It won't be long now."

"Holly, can we use this fireplace to leave?" Mike gestured at the waning flames.

"I suppose so," she admitted. "But what about Mrs. Claus?"

He shook his head. "We can't take her. As long as she's in this building, we still have hope. What we're going to do is use the fireplace to go somewhere on Earth. Time moves much slower out there. Minutes here could be days out there, you understand?"

"Days for what?" Freya asked.

"To fix you. No matter what happens next, we need you back on your feet. Let's be honest, this mess is at least partially your fault, and we need your strength to fix it." He moved over to Yuki and put his hand on the small of her back then kissed the back of her head. "And yours, too. A few days would allow your wounds to heal, and maybe even allow you to paint some new cards."

"I..." Yuki thought for a moment. "No, that actually makes sense. We could come up with something other than waiting here to potentially get eaten."

Mike turned to Holly. "I know it's hard, but for Mrs. Claus, we will only be gone for a few hours. That will give us maybe a week, or even more. We just need to find somewhere to lay low and figure out a better plan than sticking around here." Noticing the fancy scroll holder by the fireplace, he picked it up and walked over toward the map on the table. "Tink and Kisa are doing their part. It's time we do ours."

"You seem...very assertive all of the sudden." Yuki studied Mike for a moment. "Did something happen down there?"

Mike smiled while rolling up the map and putting it inside its fancy new case. "You'll hear all about it, but later. Every minute we spend here is an hour we lose out there."

"We should go somewhere without any snow," Jack said. "I gave Grýla magic ice crystals which may have been used to create an army."

"That you gave that creature any kind of magic..." Freya added, disgust in her voice.

"If you two don't stop bickering, I'm gonna make you wear the friendship shirt." Mike studied them for a moment. "I guess anything you wear is technically the friendship shirt, honestly."

Freya/Jack stared at him in confusion. Oh well, his humor wasn't for everybody.

Yuki cracked a window and used her magic to barricade the outside of the door with a wall of ice. She and Mike pulled all of the curtains shut, determined to keep Grýla and her ilk from looking inside while they were absent.

Jack and Freya argued with each other for a bit before summoning a pair of frosty humanoids. It took both of them working together, and the icy homunculi began pacing the lower floor.

"It's to make the home look occupied," Jack informed them.

"But they will only last a few hours because it's so warm in here," Freya added.

"Perfect. Kevin McAllister would approve," Mike said.

"I do not care if this Kevin McAllister approves," Freya grumbled.

"Who is Kevin? A friend of yours?" Yuki asked.

"That's a Christmas movie we'll all watch tomorrow." Mike ran up the stairs and down to Mrs. Claus' bedroom. When he opened the door, he heard the woman grunt in her sleep. He knelt by the side of her bed and put his hand on her forehead.

"We're not abandoning you," he told her, desperately weaving what was left of her threads back together. "If all goes well, you'll wake up in the morning and have your husband back."

Mrs. Claus sighed, her face tightening into a scowl. He wasn't even certain that she heard him.

When Mike got back downstairs, he saw that Holly had strapped the map across her shoulders while Yuki carried Jack/Freya on her back. The kitsune was easily strong enough for the fallen goddess.

"Are we ready?" he asked.

"This will take us to the fireplace in the main lobby of the Workshop," Holly informed him. "But once we arrive, we'll need to turn around and go somewhere else. Do you have any ideas?"

"No. But I know that we can't stay here. Take us somewhere nice." He gave the elf a nod, and Holly threw a handful of magic dust into the flames. They burned bright as they all ran through, stepping back into the lobby. It was even darker than before, and the cold sucked the air from his lungs.

Coughing, he waited for the flames to die down, then watched Holly throw another handful of dust into the fire. Making eye contact with Yuki, the group ran through together, leaving the North Pole behind.

"I'll be back," Mike muttered below his breath, the flames bending away from his skin. "And when I am, I'm going to kick some ass."

If someone were to ask me "Did you seriously write a sex scene with Lily in her helper hat just so you could avoid swearing and it would be hilarious?" I would have to respond "Yes. Yes, I did."

Time travel is always a tricky business, and I worked really hard to avoid digging all the plot holes while doing so. I also hope you enjoyed your first look at adult Callisto. I may choose to write a story about him some day, he's actually quite the bad ass.

If you're still here, thank you so, so much for reading. I have so much fun writing this tale and coming up with new ways to surprise you (and even myself). Your enthusiasm and support mean the world to me, and I'm lucky to have so many of you as my readers. Go ahead and click those stars on the way out, and then find a mirror and tell that lucky bastard in the reflection how awesome they are, because you've earned it!*

*(trick may not work for vampires, in completely dark rooms, in the state of Wyoming, or if you conjured bloody Mary).

See you next time, monster family!

~Annabelle Hawthorne