Homestead

"I came very quickly and was well on my way to my second when I noticed Hector off to the side of the bed, naked and holding his beautiful hard cock for me. As much as I wanted to suck him, Lewis was fucking me way too hard for me to take anything into my mouth so he had to wait for Lewis to empty his balls in my pussy first. I more than made it up to Hector though after Lewis was finished. We went at it like that for most of the night."

"Oh, I see, they took turns with you," Sarah said.

"Sometimes, but if you must know my favorite moment was when I was on all fours, with Hector fucking me from behind while I sucked Lewis' cock. There are other things we did all together but honestly, I'm not sure you're ready to hear about them just yet. Nevertheless, the feeling of having two hard cocks inside you at once Sarah... it's indescribable. Kind of like I said before, like an orchestra playing the perfect piece of music. Of course, it doesn't hurt to be with two musicians who really know how to use their instruments like I have.

"I see..." Sarah said with some trepidation. "I must admit I've never heard anyone talk about sex like you, Auntie. Especially mother, to the tiny extent that we have discussed it."

"Caroline is terrified of going against your father's indoctrination," Charlotte asserted. "I'm sorry for being so critical of Milton, but it's the truth. Times are changing though, Sarah; not all women treat sex as an obligation to their husbands or to procreate only. There are plenty of couples, even if they are almost still all married ones, who enjoy sex as much as I do, who genuinely care about pleasing their partners without necessarily looking to have children. You just never hear about it discussed out in the open. And if there was anyone who did want to discuss it with you, Milton would surely get rid of them."

"You mean, like you," Sarah interpreted.

"I'm basically the town slut as far as your father is concerned. I'm still amazed that he allowed you to come stay with me."

"Mother put a lot of pressure on him to do," Sarah replied. "You're right, she typically does as Father says, but this time was unexpectedly different."

"Maybe she wanted you to talk to me, to tell you the things she can't," Charlotte pondered.

"But you said she doesn't know about what goes on here," Sarah replied, "and I doubt she expected you to tell me about her and Raymond."

"It's hard to say," Charlotte said. "At the very least Caroline must have known that I would talk to you about the need to make your own choices rather than listening to Milton all the time. And she knows full well my thoughts about black men as lovers; it's fair to say she knew I would tell you about it at some point."

"And what does Mother say about that?" Sarah asked.

"We discussed the topic many times after Caroline began her affair with Raymond. It's hard to explain Sarah, but I do maintain there's nothing wrong with having sexual preferences. Not that I haven't had many wonderful white lovers in my time, but I'm not at all embarrassed to tell you that I prefer black men. For whatever reason, I just find myself more attracted to them. I know it's probably wicked for you to hear a white woman talk like that, but the truth doesn't scare me nor should it anyone else."

"What I've learned about myself over the years is that the contrast in skin tones when making love turns me on tremendously. It adds an extra level of stimulation during sex that I've never been managed to achieve with a white man. I used to worry there was something wrong with me for feeling that way, but I've learned to accept who I am and even embrace it now. I've learned that we all have certain elements to our sexuality that are beyond our control, and there's nothing 'unnatural' about them, no matter what the society you grew up in seems to think."

"And... what did Mother say about that?" Sarah asked.

"It took a lot of soul searching on her part; remember, as she's been as repressed, sexually and otherwise, by this racist society as you have, but after a long time she finally admitted to having similar feelings."

"My goodness, I can't even imagine Mother saying such a thing," Sarah said with astonishment. "She actually said she prefers black men as lovers? Are you sure this wasn't just her overreacting to her relationship with Raymond?"

"No, it goes well beyond that," Charlotte replied with a wry smile. "You'd be amazed by what Caroline had to say on the subject once she learned to lower her defenses, she's a lot more like me than even I would have guessed. I don't know if it's a common preference, so I was a bit surprised myself, but I'm pleased Caroline has it too. It gave us a lot to talk about. Sometimes I would kid Caroline that perhaps it was a trait that runs in women of our family. Actually, I take comfort in that belief now; makes me that much more hopeful about you and Jake."

"By the way, Sarah, that reminds me, how did things go last night with Jake?" Charlotte asked.

"I'm not sure what to tell," Sarah began uneasily. "We walked and talked, and sat atop the cliff overlooking the creek, and... he kissed me."

"And?" Charlotte asked. "Did you kiss him back?"

Sarah weakly nodded yes.

"My goodness, Sarah, that's wonderful. I'm so proud of you, and I know Caroline would be too," Charlotte warmly smiled. "You're finally beginning to understand what I've been telling you."

"I think I'm more confused now than ever," Sarah whimpered.

"I can live with that answer for now. It means you're starting to open your eyes, Sarah. Maybe you'll wake up and realize just how much we women are being repressed by men like your father. The time will come Sarah, when we will have sex for pure enjoyment without feeling any guilt, and it won't matter if we're married to the man or not, and no one will care if he's white or black."

"That time sounds far away," Sarah said.

"Not as far away as you might think," Charlotte replied. "Besides, none of what you were taught at home applies at this ranch. If you want to be with Jake, then that's your business. No one will stop you or so much as raise an eyebrow."

"This place is unlike any other," Sarah observed. "I'm still so amazed that Mother took such a chance as having an affair with Raymond in the outside world, with all its pitfalls."

"She and Raymond risked everything, including life itself, to be together," Charlotte sighed. "I find the whole thing terribly romantic even after all this time. Would you like to hear more about it, Sarah?"

"But you've already broken your promise of silence," Sarah replied. "Would it not be proper to try and minimize the damage by staying silent now?"

"Caroline would understand if she knew about you and Jake."

"It's hard to imagine she would encourage me. She's always been a bit prim and proper around me."

Charlotte laughed at Sarah's last sentence.

"Now I know I have to tell you, and besides, it's a story I've always wanted to tell someone but have had to keep secret all these years."

"On second thought, Sarah, there are a few things I'd like to attend to now," Charlotte said. "I'll tell you about Caroline and Raymond tomorrow."

"I thought you weren't working today?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, nothing major, just small things," Charlotte answered.

"I was also thinking I might go and see how Hector was doing with the fence," she added with a sly wink. "See if he needs any help with his hammer for him or anything like that."

"My goodness, you never get tired, do you?" Sarah quipped.

"No, no I don't," Charlotte chuckled back. "Sarah, I'm going to leave a book on your nightstand next to the bed. I want you to read it tonight, all of it. In fact, read it twice. It won't take you that long."

"What it is?"

"You'll see. Just make sure you read it."

---

The next day was somewhat more busy than usual, as everyone had some catching up to do from taking the day before off. Sarah was especially busy, as she did the laundry, although Charlotte insisted she help her considering it included the soiled sheets and garments from her night with Lewis and Hector.

"Have you talked to Jake today?" Charlotte asked as the two women were working.

"No, he seemed really busy," Sarah replied. "Just a brief hello."

"Don't worry Sarah, he's hasn't lost interest," Charlotte kidded. "He's just trying to give you more time to digest everything that's happened."

"I still can't believe any of this is happening. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream world."

"In a sense, you are Sarah. I wish you could learn to appreciate it as I have."

"I'm still afraid," Sarah replied. "Auntie, you and I talk about subjects that I would never even imagined talking about before I got here. The way you talk about men... about black men... would get you shunned -- or worse -- only a few miles from your property, and yet you do it nevertheless."

"But you like it when I say those things," Charlotte winked back. "And the more I say them, the more you realize you agree with me."

"I do think you're trying to pervert me," Sarah chuckled uneasily.

"Is it working?" Charlotte laughed back.

"One thing I'm sure of is I wish I'd had a better love life with Joshua before he died," Sarah said. "I always had a feeling I missed out something, but after listening to the way you talk about sex I know it for certain now."

"As you should, Sarah. You're twenty years old, so pretty, and so full of life. As far as I'm concerned, this is most exciting age for a young woman. It's a time for you to discover yourself sexually, to open your mind and learn about all the wonderful things sex can be. Most women your age are married, and can do so with their husbands if they've found the right man, which you might have done too if Joshua hadn't died. But in your tragedy you have an opportunity that even they don't have. Don't throw that away."

"You're talking about Jake again," Sarah replied. "What about you, Auntie? I thought you were waiting all this time to have him for yourself?"

"There's plenty of time for Jake and me," Charlotte answered. "And even if there wasn't I'd happily give him up if it opened the door for you and him."

"Really, I thought you were thoroughly smitten with Jake?" Sarah asked.

"I am that, and much more," Charlotte smiled, "but I'd give up those desires in a second if I knew it would help you and him explore your relationship. I know you Sarah; you wouldn't have anything to do with Jake if he and I were already lovers. You're much more emotional about sex than I am, more like your mother than me."

"I would think that what Jake wants would matter too," Sarah insisted.

"Of course, and as I told you Sarah, every time I've spoken to Jake since you've come here all he can talk about is you," Charlotte replied. "He's absolutely taken with you."

"I'm sorry if I got in the way of anything..." Sarah began.

"Don't be, Sarah," Charlotte said reassuringly. "The idea of bringing you two beautiful young people together... truly nothing would make me happier. I've had so many wonderful experiences of my own, but I'm getting old now. It's your turn."

"I still have a lot to think about," Sarah said, "and luckily more time to do it."

"Don't wait too long, dear," Charlotte warned. "I believe the war is almost over and once it is I expect your father to be calling you back home."

"You were going to tell me more about Mother and Raymond," Sarah said, trying to change the subject.

"Indeed I was," Charlotte replied, "but first let me ask you what you thought of my book."

"I thought it was pornographic," Sarah replied.

"Oh, come on Sarah, that's your father talking!"

"I'm just kidding, it was actually very informative," Sarah said.

The book was a little over fifty pages. Each page described a different sexual position and included a large illustration of a man and woman performing it. The pictures were remarkably detailed, leaving nothing to the imagination. It was clearly some sort of instructional guide.

"I'm starting to wish I'd had something like that when I got married," Sarah lamented.

"And I wish I could have given it to Caroline as a wedding gift," Charlotte said, "but with Milton of course nothing like that was conceivable."

"Where did you get it?"

"When I was about your age I went to live for a year in France. As you know, our side of the family is originally from there. I stayed with my grandparents, who were still alive at the time. I found the book at a small shop. It was originally written in French but luckily they had an English translation of it."

"And you kept it all these years?"

"I had plenty of similar 'reading materials,' back then, most of which your father would be correct in calling pornography," Charlotte chuckled, "but I sort of lost track and interest of those things over the years. This book, however, is such a useful instructional tool that I kept it. I just had a feeling it would come in handy someday."

"So you've shown it to others?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, a few have seen it, including your mother."

"Mother?" Sarah asked in disbelief. "Mother has read this book?"

"Like you, Caroline had an abysmal knowledge of sex before she married. I think many parents, including ours, just assumed that the new husband will take care of the problem, but then she married Milton, which of course, did nothing to help."

"So you gave it to Mother after she got married?"

"Believe me, Sarah, I would of if I thought it would have helped. No, your father had no interest in such things. You're quite right in saying he would have called it pornography and threw it out if he found it in Caroline's possession. No, I gave this to Caroline after I could see she was falling in love with Raymond. I knew when the time was right she would want to have a physical relationship with him as well and I wanted to help her be properly educated for it."

"Maybe it is time I told you about Caroline and Raymond."

---

"As I told you before, I was well aware that Caroline was trapped in a loveless marriage. For years, she blamed herself for this, but I knew better. Milton is not a wicked man, but he's not an affectionate one either, and the strict, puritanical code he lives by didn't help as far as making him much of a lover."

"When Caroline first approached me about Raymond she had already struck up a friendship with him. Milton knew about it but didn't really care, and since it kept his wife occupied he allowed it to continue. As I once told you, for all the awful opinions I have about Milton at least he isn't a racist, and I do genuinely respect him for that."

"Do you think he ever suspected anything going on between Mother and Raymond?" Sarah asked.

"I can't imagine he did. The mere possibility of such a scandal is too fantastical for most people to believe. Even I didn't really believe such a thing was possible, and I know Caroline better than anyone, until she approached me about it one day."

"What did she say?"

"She talked about how nice Raymond was and what a good man he was, etc., etc., and I agreed with her, which was all true."

"Yes, he was very thoughtful," Sarah admitted.

"And then Caroline started talking about these feelings of guilt she was having. When I told her there was nothing wrong with having Raymond as a friend, she confessed that lately her feelings towards him had gone beyond friendship."

"It's so astounding... even now when I hear you say the words... to imagine Mother speaking this way," Sarah barely managed to stammer.

"Believe me Sarah, she barely succeeded to get the words out herself. One thing you need to understand is that Caroline never intended to have an affair, and when she did feel the beginnings of these urges with Raymond, she did everything she could to repel them."

"That's hard for me to fully accept," Sarah huffed. "She could have fired Raymond if she really wanted to, distanced herself from him."

"You're right about that Sarah, and that's where I come in to this story. If you want to 'blame' anyone for what ultimately happened, blame me, because I not only told Caroline there was nothing wrong about her having romantic feelings for Raymond but I encouraged her to allow those feelings to blossom."

"That doesn't surprise me," Sarah deadpanned.

"Are you angry with me, Sarah? Would you prefer it if I had told Caroline it was her duty to remain faithful even if her husband had no interest in providing her with the love and support she needed? That it was more important for her to remain a virtuous wife than to feel joy and passion with someone who brought her such happiness? There are plenty of husbands who have troubled marriages and have managed to keep those marriages intact by having a mistress on the side. If men can do it, then why can't we?"

"I think I would have been angry if you had told me this the other day," Sarah said. "For all the criticisms you've made against my father, he still is my father and I will always love him as such. But since then I've had time to think about what you've told me so far, and the more time I've had the more I've had to admit that Father has never really much of a caring husband towards Mother."

"I suppose all this time I assumed Mother was satisfied to live like that. In a way, it even influenced my getting married to Joshua. I didn't know much about him before we got married and for the most part I didn't care what kind of romantic relationship we might have. I just assumed it was my duty to marry him."

"And the circumstances by which Caroline married Milton were not that different than when you married Joshua," Charlotte observed. "I never really thought about it before now but the two situations are remarkably similar, although I can't say Joshua would have necessarily been a bad husband as I didn't know him."

"But if he had been..." Sarah began.

"If he had been, would you have tried to live an unhappy but chaste life as Caroline tried so hard to do with your father? All I can say is, I hope not."

"Enough about Joshua," Sarah said, "continue your story."

"Very well. As I said before, Caroline was wracked with guilt, thinking she was a bad wife and worrying about what having an affair said about her moral character. It took a lot of work on my part, but I eventually calmed her anxieties, although even then they would still flare up unexpectedly from time to time. In those moments Caroline would come find me, and we'd have a long talk about it, and she'd be alright again."

"One of Caroline's greatest fears was getting caught, and even then, it was not so much her own welfare that she worried about but Raymond's and yours."

"Mine?" Sarah asked.

"Of course, her being found in such a wicked scandal would have stained your reputation as well. She worried about you night and day, Sarah; she still does. Whatever you may think of what Caroline did I hope you understand how much she loves you."

Sarah gave a slight nod, enough that Charlotte felt she had reached her.

"One thing I will say that surprised me greatly at the time, and even does at little bit to this day, that with all our discussions about fidelity and reputation the topic of Raymond being black was never an issue with Caroline. Of course, it was a huge problem in terms of the ramifications of them ever getting caught, and we often discussed the need to be extra careful because of it, but that was the end of it."

"I so respected Caroline for that, that like me she rejects the idea that there's anything 'unnatural' with a white person and black person being attracted to one another and falling in love or doing anything else that men and women have been doing together since the beginning of time. It was a pleasant surprise."

"I..." Sarah began, knowing that the last part of Charlotte's statement was directed to her, "I've had a lot to think about since I came here, Auntie. And believe it or not, I've changed. True, when I saw the way you live here, I was taken aback by it, but mostly because of what I've been told society says is proper. I'm much more willing to think for myself now."