All Comments on 'How To Boil An Egg'

And you let John walk away under his own power for what reason? Seriously, you come home from work and your wife is, in your estimation, 'being raped and humiliated across the dining table'. Chair + John's skull = nothing a jury would fault you for. After all, "I was afraid for my wife, and I just snapped!"

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That was missing. We see the act and then....... "...we split up soon afterwards." 3/5, because John deserved an assss-whippin'.

What BS! First of all, any time I'd let some creep in my house talk to my wife like that or about my wife like that. I'd have tossed him out on his ear the first time he said something about taking her away from me. Secondly, I have absolutely no respect for someone who could stand and watch as some asshole treated my wife like that. He would have woken up in the middle of next week.

Not bad just would like a little more info on why she chose him and fell for the dude next door. Just seemed a bit out of place and a bit rushed. Looking forward to your next one.

OK but we didn't hear her or his reaction to being caught or what happened to John.

Not a bad 1st story.

1 she wasn't a wife...

2 you needed to flesh out the confrontation. Hell, we split up is not a confrontation. How did she react? To being caught, to being homeless, to John's house having petrol poured through the letter box...

Wimpass!

John was in his late 50's? He was almost selected to a boxing team in 1956, so let's assume he was 20. That makes good old John about 85..

Why did you bother writing this ? there is no denouement, no drama, no passion, no sense of betrayal and precious little dialogue between the narrator and his wife. Don't be defensive, i honestly want to know why you bothered publishing this as i may be missing something.

Then give the tart what she wants. She wants abusive fucks, then give them to her. All being nice to her has gotten you is being a cuck. Treat her like a stupid slut and chances are she'll prob stay a lot closer to home that she has in the past.

Not much to think. It is well enough written, the characters are caricatures, and there is no progression. There's no beginning or end: it's just middle.

LWlurker

And he didn't kick the shit out of him old man or not what a fuckin whimp.

Ummm well thank the lord you used " Cuckold " in your story tags.

..... .... what to say constructively...... .......

The only constructive thing that could be written is that there is a category available for " Fetish's "

Where gormless worms like the male character in this story reside.

You know the ones. Pissed on, Shat on, treated like filth, and go back for more, just like your lead on this story. No confrontation, No Fuck off out of my house you old Cunt, just it won’t surprise you to learn we split up soon afterwards.....WTF?

NO man will ever figure women out...? The fuckin old CUNT did you SIMP.

What the ungodly fuvk? What did prick have to say to geriatric John who was plowing his better half IN HIS OWN FUCKING HOUSE?

1 STAR FOR PUSSY WHIPPED STUPIDITY

And? What happened to Veronica and that neighbour?

always good to see a new writer come aboard. trying to be constructive here, there was an annoying number of just plain typos, missing letters, etc. It would only take a careful word-by-word proofreading to clear those up. If you don't have time to slowly read it a couple of times then make use of one of the zillion volunteer editors or proofreaders available and under-utilized. Beyond that, your storyline and unbelievable characters are not to my personal taste. I hate such male brutality and have no prior experience of a mentally disturbed female that would put up with it. But, that is just my taste. DO, keep 'em coming.

if thats all .. well not so mutch stars.

Why the Breakup , did he walk away , she ?

Was there a confronation or a meek "i better leave" ?

And he did nothing about it? It is one thing to tell a story that is a moment in time and leave it unfinished, but it's another to step over the ending like that.

That's what I always say: Girlfriends aren't wives, to get rid of them we have just to say: "Bye bitch"! No divorce, no lawyers, no courts of law, no nothing...so this kind of stories don't belong in LW! 2*

it wasn't a bad story, but you definitely could have fleshed it out, and the ending was just absolute shit. you didn't even have him interrupt them. i mean wtf.

Did he just TELEPORT out of his kitchen and into the epilogue? WTF?

Started intereesting, but ended poor. Why didn't he storm inside and beat the shit out of him?

Sigh I always give and extra star for a first story but... that only takes it to 2.

Others have said it's in the wrong category, not fetishes, that's stupid, there's not indication that he got off on see his GIRLFRIEND ravaged. It's in the wrong category because this is Loving WIVES, see the difference?

Change landlady and lodger to mum and son and you move from MILF to incest. Just highlighting the importance of category choice.

Now then, I come home from work and some old fart of a neighbour is in my house I'd want to know why even if he's just in the living room. If he started shit talking about women, I'd laugh in his face in front of my gf about being so out of touch. I'd then tell her in no uncertain terms that the slimy bastard was sniffing and she'd best be careful letting him in without me about, you know what neighbours are like and rumours.

Finding them as described and the abuse he was dishing out, it sounded like (I'm going out on a limb here and agreeing with LPN) potential rape. Kick the living fuck out of him and throw him with his trousers around his ankles into the street, then call the police and have him arrested and drag her to the hospital for testing and treating. Let her deny anything...

Even if you go the route of being a pussy you need the drama and confrontation even if it's the gf and old fart laughing at him as he packs and leaves.

What a pile of worthless excrement. You had one chance to present yourself to the Lit audience. You certainly fucked that up. I for one will never bother looking at anything else you may submit.

As others have said, where's the conflict?

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Also, where are the commas? Too many run on sentences.

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50's isn't old.

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His tongue was LITERALLY hanging out? I would have grabbed it a dragged him to the door!

Loved it.

-26thNC Approved

Pure fucking trash... your mc is a pussy who deserved to loose his wife.

Bad

Omg you call that a story

You made your point. ALL women are stupid cunts who want to be dominated. ALL husband's are wimpy little cowards. ONLY alpha ogres should should survive. Right?

You wrote a story expecting answers from us for your confusion? Seriously…it shows that you were nothing but a lily liveried puke not capable of giving that old fart a thrashing of his life and walking away with your tail inside ur pussy! No doubt the feminist u projected all around made ur Veronica look for a man! There …I answered u! And if u want to go on please accept who u are and find a sex change doc or get i to one of the cross dresser groups…bette still why don’t you crawl to John and tell him u too want his attention same as he hve Verinica? Maybe both of you could suck John’s cock all night?

A Dons fan writing about someone coming and taking something that doesn't belong to them? Too funny! Story itself was as undercooked as the egg.

You know, this could have been something, but you fcked up the ending. We knew he was going to leave, you could have given some resolution to what happened with the confrontation

Stooped ending.

Needed to pick up the frying pan and brain John

No confrontation. No revenge. No resolution. No story.

could have been so much better if you wrote the how she fell for the guy, was it rape, was it the first time, the confrontation, and so on.

Interesting first story. But did she know why he was leaving her?

not bad for a first time story i did find 1 misspelled word but otherwise very good

Cuck tale.

This should be in the Fetish category but you waste our time placing it in Loving Wives.

If this is the best you have, don’t give up your day job to write.

Scores 1/5

Predictable.

Silence is consent. When you have a chicken killing dog sniffing around your henhouse, you shoot the damned thing because it is not a matter of if it will attack, it is when will it attack? You don't continue to feed the mangy beast then get to act surprised when it is mauling your prized hen.

I think LPN's comments were right on target. No consequences, just watch as somebody is constantly in your home working to seduce your wife and not do a damned thing about it either before or after except whimper away.

Strange story. The detached, bloodless style perfectly matches the bloodlessness of the narrator. The beautiful girl inexplicably chooses him without his seemingly having done anything to deserve her. The burly ex-docker insinuates his way into his living room, onto his sofa, as if he were a feature of the apartment that the narrator just has to put up with. "It won't surprise you to learn that we split up soon afterwards." Strange story,

What did I think of the story? Not much.

You put a story about a GIRLFRIEND in the LW section. Why? Bad choice.

Stupid. Lack of punctuation.

MKDons just what the heck is wrong with you! Did your dog eat the rest of your homework? Where's the rest of this story? Why didn't our nameless "hero" whip out his phone to capture the all important video evidence? Why did he not proceed to beat the crop out of John? With a fireplace poker? After all, the words coming out of his mouth and his rough treatment of Veronica could be construed of as a rape in progress! Hero should have taken a poker to John's junk for poking Veronica!!! WILL A REAL WRITER PLEASE TAKE THE CHALLENGE...AND FINISH THE DAMN STORY!!!??? All right...I'll go home now...

"But even after all these years I still can't understand is why she cheated on me at all. "

An age old question for which the simple plain answer is.....Because they can....entitlement is ingrained in their DNA.

But seriously, if you couldn't be bothered to kick the shit out of George or a least give him one good kick in the nut sack then you really didn't give a shit about her did you.

Aaannd I'm back! I never even made it home! This story just irritated me so much! I had to read all of the comments to see if I was the only one feeling "off base". And guess what? I Wasn't! Somebody suggested "Hero" (should be zero) should have gone to John's house and had "petrol poured through the letterbox"...I got a big laugh out of that! Someone else (with an obvious eye for detail) noted that elements off the story place John's age in the over 80 year old range... not 58...but rather a possible 85 years old! Well in my book that is old enough to know better and darn well old enough to take the lumps he darn well deserves!!! OKAY! Now I'll stop, I won't even get into what dear, chaste Veronica deserves! ...now I'll leave...

That was ugly.

Why do so many people read and like these stories? Is it the humiliation we feel? Is it the anger we feel from them. Is it relief we feel from knowing we arnt alone in our failures? The story was pretty well presented, descriptions were well done, please as a favor to us, keep writing.

Don't worry about figuring women out. Worry about figuring out whatever became of your balls.

It started out ok, but then you just rushed the ending. What happened after he was standing there? Did he attack the old man? Did he cut John's dick off and tell the police his wife was being raped? What was her reaction to getting caught? What did she have to say for herself? Did they try to make it work but fail? Did he leave without being noticed but then weeks later John came home to find his daughter being treated the same way by the main character?

You cut out the most interesting things the story could have had and rushed to the ending with no explanation. Something to consider for your next work.

He should have taken a frying pan to the back of John's head. Veronica obviously had low esteem and did not know how to put John in his place.

My wife needs a guy like John.

Not a bad story, but you need to paint more of a picture.

You aren't kidding, are you? Is the fucking asshole still alive? The Bear does not approve. 2 stars; Don't know why. Did he ever find another woman? I doubt it.

The BEAR

first story, hmm tbh, i didnt see the point. but please keep writing. i already went through all these authors and their stories. this site needs new blood

FTDS we need you

Not enough definition in the story. To quick Develop the character.

Terrible … completely unbelievable and a waste of time. At least it was short.

Sorry, but I don’t like this story. She cheated - and? That's it? Why didn't he beat the "old" man to a pulp? He breaks up and that's it? Only the British can do that!

No explanations as to why, no repercussions against John, no backbone of the MC. PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST STORIES I'VE READ ON LITEROTICA IN A WHILE!

I'm sorry. Where's the story?

Sorry Mate, but this is just awful. You have made the "boyfriend or fiance" whatever he is, to be a spineless wimp.

No confrontation, nothing! just that they split up. No shit.

Add some feeling, make it so you can identify with one of the characters.

He had the perfect excuse to lay a well-deserved beating on the old fart.

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"Officer, I came in and he was cussing her, screaming about a boiled egg or something. I had to stop the rape, so I grabbed the blender and slammed it into his head several times. Maybe I hit him too hard?"

/

Why do the Brits always write husbands as being so wimpy? For all the husband knew, she really was being raped.

I'm still confused, why the fuck didn't beat the shit out of John. Honestly sounds like the wife was being raped.

There was nothing in this story to suggest that Veronica was actually cheating. There was plenty to suggest she was being bullied and sexually abused.

The young male in this story comes across as rather stupid. He can see that the older male character is verbally and physically abusing this woman and that this woman is upset. There is nothing to indicate that she is enjoying this sexual experience and yet the male jumps to the conclusion that she is cheating. It appears that a physically stronger male is attacking her and demeaning her and the younger male believes she is cheating, i.e., wants this and enjoys this.

The whole psychology underpinning these 2 male characters is enlightening – Veronica is beautiful and seemingly meant for someone wealthy and highly successful. She is apparently out of her boyfriend’s league. The young male is always expecting her to meet someone better than him and then run off with that new person. The older male is apparently too old for such a young woman, so she is out of his league.

What is the best way to deal with such a beautiful woman, who just reminds the 2 men of their shortcomings, inadequacy, or lesser status? The younger male just watches as the older male punishes her. The younger male then dumps her afterwards. It is just a revenge story pure and simple. Very unpleasant stuff.

More trash, LW is a cesspool of less-than-mediocre shit lately.

And the old cot survived the beating you thundered on him?

Or like any other sissy Brit, you sucked his cock and begged him for an anal diving as you slurped your wife’s full putrid cunt?!

I guess the second, right mate.

Fockin‘ brits faggs!

Captcha

Not bad but like a MAGA'ts head and Chinese food really rather empty.

Should have fleshed it out more. Because, contrary to the idiocy on display here the majority of women dont just suddenly go all easy slut. They really don't, they go slut far less than men do. So it would have been nice to see how she fell for that shit.

No it wasn't some Alpha male (again they dont exist) thing, he was pompous and nothing more. Few women enjoy their men to be like that unless theyve got a big bank account.

really no story to this. do a rewrite and see if you can actually put a story to this.

Situation is now without interest, but needed a lot more development. For one thing, we needed to hear from Veronica, and also how the MC dealt with John. Was it a one-time fuck? An ongoing affair? Etc.

A nice, though sad story. But, it needs to be fleshed out more. Why did she cheat? What was she thinking? What actions did the husband do after the discovery? From what he saw, he could claim he thought John was 'raping' her and take a club, pan or something to John.

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Thank-you

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Pasqual

The encounter you described was a rape scene. The was no indication that I could see that she was enjoying any of it....you said she was crying for godsakes. The proper response would have been (if you cared for your wife) would be to stop the assault by any means possible (frying pan, fireplace poker, a flurry of fists...whatever) and call the police.

A largely pointless tale with not one redeemable character.

Just a pointless waste of words.

If Veronica is that intellectually and emotionally dysfunctional, what difference does it make how physically attractive she is? John did him a favor in letting him find out her inferiority before it was too late to easily dump the trash.

Thanks for the effort.

No reaction from the boyfriend to another man having sex in his home with his girlfriend? This is such drivel.

This is like half a story, as if the author was in rush to finish and just get something down on paper. No attempt at all get into character motivation, other than John, whose motives are pretty simple. An editor, or even running it through a grammar program would help as well. The story had some potential, it just wasn't developed.

1*. This is the same as a cuckold story. For him to watch and not do anything was pathetic. Much like this story.

**😴🥱Boring🥱😴

Sick. Who thinks about sick shit like this? What kind of life does a person have that has thoughts this disgusting and then writes them down? Ramblings of a sick demented mind.

Low score for the ending and your betrayal of the husband. Cut his balls right off.

Soon afterwards? Not that afternoon? Really?

I liked it. Outstanding first effort. But it was hollow. There was no exploration of her motivation or emotional state and the absence of a confrontation over her infidelity and her attraction to such a pig stripped the story of any dramatic tension. His passivity was way overdrawn and telegraphed the denouement way too early.

Thanks for posting it. Looking forward to the next story

Can not believe this gut published. POS. Glad this is authors first, should also be the last. LP

Mediocre narrative, no mention of the confrontation, and a couple sentences of the split. WHY was this even in the LW category? 2*

I could have been her. My husband refuses to feed my craving for aggressive, dominant/submissive sex, insisting only upon the most vanilla, missionary style, no talking, fast finish (for him) variety of intimacy. I crave being fucked like a whore and totally used for the pleasure of another man. Alas, it will not change until I decide it must, and I know it will be a man other than my husband. I won't explain why I cannot leave my marriage. I loved your story.

Stupid aimless story

If no, then what/how did they split up? Just “drift apart”? Did she start dissing him? Did she change in anyway? Was this their first time? Videos? Any explanations? Did he ever see Veronica and John together again? What happened to Veronica afterwards? Go off with John? Did hubby ever have revenge? Or was he too embarrassed for himself?

There is a conclusion — they split — but a WHOLE LOT was skipped between him seeing the dirty and the divorce. So it’s not Finish the Damned Story, but Fill-in the Damned Story.

@sbrooks103x

As others have said, where's the conflict?

Why bother, he was already fucking her.

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Also, where are the commas? Too many run on sentences.

You worry about commas,,,,,

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50's isn't old.

It is if you are only twenty. It wouldn't be if you are already an old fossil.

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His tongue was LITERALLY hanging out? I would have grabbed it a dragged him to the door!

I don't think there would have been enough to hold on to.

The man needs to stop trying to figure women out and start trying to figure out how to be a man.

MC did nothing to John did he? Sounds like a complete wimp. John was a primitive scumbag. Poor Doris probably suffered everyday with him. Veronica deserves no happiness but the MC was an idiot. One mistake is thinking 58 is old. He wasn’t 78, 58 is relatively young.

What the fuck was this? He watcher her get fucked and in the next sentence they split up? What a fucking wimpy story. One Star.

So much is missing from this story. Part the author didn't disclose was when John was finished with Veronica he grabbed the MC, who was still standing there watching, bent him over the kitchen table and proceeded to fuck his ass unmercifully telling him, "If you're going to act like a pussy, you're going to get treated like one!"

I guess it's personal taste, but I would enjoy the stories more if someone had an orgasm.

......and so I did nothing at all and just walked away.

Wow. And he did nothing to poor old John. My reaction would have been to get behind him and grab his swinging balls and pull on them and squeezed the piss out of them. They had to be totally squashed until they were nothing more than mush. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Just another cuck story and a slut. Not entertaining at all. 1 star

“ we split up soon afterwards”… why not immediately? Shove her stuff into the hall and kick her out that day!

The story is good, although it felt like something was missing.

If by "soon after" he meant two minutes, then ok. Sad how the old dude fell down those stairs onto a big knife.