All Comments on 'I Have a 50-50 Chance'

Keep it up. Each story is better than the last. You have the one thing that cannot be either bought or learned. You have persistence.

i liked it,,,keep on writing

Thank you for your story, I enjoyed reading it. It is difficult not to want good things for a sweet pregnant woman, even if she has made a mistake ..., except for the husband, of course.

You are right that you need an editor, but I only had a little confusion about plot progression. A bit more work on segues when time advances a few weeks or months would really help. The rest of the needed editing would just be usage/ spelling, and did not really get in the way of your story.

Good luck

4 for you, keep it up!

Well, first off, the story is riddled with grammar mistakes, much worse than your average Literotica story.

I've got a feeling the writer didn't put a whole lot of effort into proofreading.

Then, of course, there's the cliffhanger, followed by the threat of no 2nd chapter unless nice reviews are left. To that, I can only say, "fuck off!"

Interesting story. First congratulations on submitting another story. Considering you have dyslexia, this is a major accomplishment. You do need a editor, or a proof reader, or someone just to read the story over and catch the biggest errors. As far as the story goes, why didn't she have a pre-natal paternity test? If there is a reason, then state it in the story. A few other points - why wasn't there a pre-nuptial done when they got married that prevented her from getting part of the business? Depending on when the business was built and whether or not the brothers were married at the time, I'm sure their lawyer advised them on it. Considering her and the women's actions this is causing major issues in Tommy's family, and may cause permanent rifts. I'm interested in seeing where you take this. If Larry is the father, then anything to do with her or the kids will be unwanted around everyone except Tina. If Tommy is the father, he'll be involved with the kids, but chances of their relationship restarting is somewhere between slim and none, and chances are that with the other women interfering Tommy may just have his brothers buy him out and move far away - i.e. a permanent family split. Worse case scenario - twins - 1 kid from Larry and 1 kid from Tommy. Considering what Larry did, and it is questionable if she was capable of giving consent then she might have been raped. The only question in this mess is how many lives are ruined. Her life is down the toilet for many years (maybe permanently); the kids probably will have problems - how many will depend on who the father is; as to everyone else it will all depend on who the father is and how they handle it. Her only way to have gotten out of this would have been to go to the police and claim she was raped by her boss, and get Plan B - and that option is long gone.

I can only say…humans learn from their errors and improve on their mistakes! Someone who is incapable of doing this is somewhere between a monkey and a maggot!

I see your other story has over a 3 rating. That's not bad! For a novice writer, the voters have been kinder than you think. Comments you have to take with a grain of salt. If there's something constructive, then accept it. If not, assume it's a troll and ignore it.

So difficult to read, badly needs proof reading, and spelling, understanding the plot was simple but the grammar was so bad even braille wouldn't have helped. I shocked this actually got posted to be honest with the poor writings

Honestly hope those kids aren't his would be better for both if there was a clean break.

Nice so far.

4/5

Look forward to part-2

A few misspelled words

So far so good with your story.

Thank you.

I just wanted to you to say you shouldn't give up, I hope you are proud of yourself for what you have written and for putting yourself out there. I haven't read your first story, so won't comment on that, but I'm sorry you were treated the way you were.

I wish I had the time to help you with editing, but please don't give up, please write your own ending. I have worked with children who are dyslexic, I also know an older man who always said he couldn't read til I realised he was dyslexic, I understand it is hard when others don't understand and how hard it is for you to get the right letters.

Please keep going, forget the nasty comments, some just can't be happy unless they're bringing others down. If they don't like it they can always write their own stories and put them out there for others to critique.

Honestly it wasn't that bad, I've seen many that are much, much worse, don't listen to anyone who says otherwise.

Please finish it.

I enjoyed the story even though there is no resolution to the conflict. Ending with giving open permission for anyone to write their own ending does cause some concern this will turn into another story with a never ending stream of alternative endings.

the family is split with all of the women pressuring Tommy to stay married, and the cheating wife half of his share of the company, he should have sold his share of the company to his brothers for $1.00 and given his soon to be ex-wife fifty cents. As of the divorce spending a week in jail would have been better than counseling as the longer he could keep that up the more it would show the slut he did not want her. Who knows after a few weeks or months in jail family members may start pressuring the slut to sign the divorce papers and let Tommy move on with his life.

Oh, please continue. Chapter 2 needed soon

Thanks

Story is good, but you need to read it before you send it in. There are some simple spellcheck errors.

GREAT story!!!!! Please... go on with it!!!

Basically a good story but you need to find an editor. I am surprised you said you couldn't find one as there are volunteers on the site.

I'm cool with reconciliation stories as long as the Husband's get their get backs. Besides that though all the women harping on him you didn't explain if they checked on him.

Well done on putting yourself out there very few do that. I also have dyslexia type problems so I can empathize with you. I think that you should continue with the story instead of asking others to. This story desetves the original author to finish it 4 stars

Wonderful work, keep working the craft!

Seems like you enjoy this genre and I am looking forward to seeing more works from you!

If I receive nicer comments than my last story "lol," I may consider writing a Chapter 2.

.

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I just went to every story you wrote and scored it a one for this, and will continue to do so every time the website forgets my mac address and allows me to vote again

Horrible. It reads like they gave a chimp a laptop and this is what it came up with. Two mistakes in the first sentence should have been my tip-off to stop reading.

I mean, I understand trying to help bring them back together but trying to force him and talking bad about him is only going to make things worse and since he was wronged even if she was possibly used without consent.

His feelings are his own, why wouldn’t he feel like his trust and belief in her would burn up in her face.

Truth be told, it’d probably be best that if they are Tommy’s then he could be a part of their lives but not stay married anyway.

Also, the women who were unjustly forcing them to talk need to get a good kick in the rear, I hope for their sakes they apologize to Tommy and that Karen doesn’t have to deal with anymore stress.

Interesting to say the least! Your story covers many aspects in true life and it should be continued. Well done!

Sorry I for one will not be reading part two.

Crap

I know the struggles so keep up the good work and keep moving forward. Hope you put out a second chapter

The story has potential. It is a shame you cannot find an editor as the mistakes have more to with bad spell and grammar software checking tools.

keep going. I don't care about spelling or grammar. I get what you are telling us.

Don’t know if this is a convoluted BTB, or a story of reconciliation, but you definitely crafted a true asshole in the character of Tommy. Held my interest, I’ll say that.

Horrible writing. Junk

Concept is good but the spelling, grammar, and continuity pretty much put it in the trash can. I hope you find a decent editor.

Any story that includes "Tommy sued the Firm" is downgraded immediately because such legal actions do not exist. I am surprised by how many writers keep copying that silly urban legend, and it just makes the story that less interesting.

Anyhow, wife should divorce Tommy because she is better off without his attitude and lack of empathy. They have no future. If the children are Tommy's, she will be entitled to child support and alimony, and she can then look for someone better.

First of all, you were right that you need an editor. Spelling was NOT the only issue. MORE than an editor, you need a beta reader. (Somebody to read a story and give you honest feedback about your story.)

You missed the boat on a few legal issues. First when your MC first met Tommy, he had a business in partnership with his brothers. She would NOT have been entitled to half his share. Second Tommy sued 'firm' where she worked for big bucks and all she got was a severance package and a pat on the ass out the door? Bullshit. And neither was to tell Larry's wife.

And the way you even described things was simplistic and scattered. You had the MC say The golf outing got her in trouble, but then it was a night thing where she found herself getting screwed in his office. How does that work?

Tina thinks Tommy should stay with her even if he was not the father? Why? some special religious thing? What happened to DNA testing? Nobody talked. And is this Larry's wife so stupid that she will not question why her husband's PA of five years suddenly leaves. The PA who makes sure he has a text at 5inthe morning to keep him informed of his schedule and who he cannot function without.

Sorry, the story missed on so many levels. Get somebody to read the next one before you post.

A heck of a start - 4/5 - some misspellings/misuse of words. Hopefully your next contribution is better1

Yes, you definitely need an editor, but it is a decent story and you should finish it. Don't let someone else finish the story that is in your head! Whatever you do, some will love it, some hate it but that's the way it always is at this site. Go for it!

Thanks for writing. Needed a stronger climax like she takes her jerk husband to cleaners or something. My grandson dyslexic, thanks for not hiding behind that but pursuing a dream! Keep it up....

This was awful. With all due respect to your dyslexia and inability to find an editor, I was just about tp ask you to send me this story so that I could mark it up for you until I read that you MAY consider writing a Chapter 2. There are few greater insults to readers than to post an incomplete story without FIRM plans to finish it.

You need to finish this story!

Good story. As you'd expect, there were a few errors here and there, but nothing serious. My issue was that there were too many people to keep track of, but it might just be me. By all means, keep at it.

Well honestly its not too bad. The only thing about reconciliation stories is most writers ignore male pride. Most men will not bring up another man's child and certainly having all these female characters telling him he is wrong and trying to force him to take back his cheating wife back will normally just make a man even more angry. Its your story but personally I would tell everyone to back off and just let the couple sort it out. There are way too many characters telling the wife what to do. And way too miany characters giving the husband grief. Anyway thanks for the story.

I think larry drugged her. Hope they are Tommy kids and she drops him for not supporting her while pregnant.

A good story that needs finished!

It’s salways odd that on Lit, cheating husbands are taken to the cleaners and ostracised by all male and femss as me but in the case of a cheating wife everyone in the world calls for forgiveness and, like in this tale turn on the cheated on husband.

His sister and sister in laws turn on him and call him all sorts because he won’t talk to her or forgive her and they work together even with her lawyer and with the help of the councillor and judge to get him to forgive.

She sees nothing wrong with what she did, only that she got caught, the women even want him to raise the other guys kids - seriously? If that behaviour carried on in real life family e we oils be ripped apart. No man would encourage a cheated on husband to raise the other guys kid its worst humiliation.

She isn’t guilty about cheating, doesn’t see it has a big thing and neither do the other female relatives. But they seem out out that he’s upset, hurt and won’t accept it.

Even her sister only pulled her up on maybe drinking too much. Not fucking her box or cheating. And she thinks the husbands an ass for kicking her out?

If she got away with it she see it has justification to do it again as she’s got away with it once and received support from all around her. Plus she’s gained financially for drinking to much and sleeping with her dream guy.

She and the others are just the typical manipulative, scheming, entitled bitches running rife in LW and life it seems.

Finish it with your own ending and let others if they want. I like ending coming from the story that first author wrote it. Finish it

I loved your story. Well written and captivating. I hope you write chapter 2!

Another story left hanging--if you are too insecure to finis them, don't start them..

I appreciate that you don't have an editor... but damn... a couple proofreading sessions a day or two apart , and a simple spellchecker should have brought this to at least a readable level. I don't want to discourage an amateur writer, but I assume you want your work to be good. I can't even give you any story/plot feedback because it's too distracting trying to read it.

This is much better, but it sounds like you rushed your ending. When you feel in a hurry to publish, put it away for a week, then go back and finish your story carefully. It will be even better!

Thanks for writing!

Please finish, thank you

If you're writing for "nice comments" try using spellcheck:

Johnathan told me the FBI are on a fishing expedition to scare me into saying something that could incriminate WBD or if I did not cooperate, they could threaten to indite me. Which Jonathan claims would just be a scare tactic. By this point I was an emotional reck in tears."

I mean, c'mon, the story was "ok" (meaning: it was formulaic) but then you added another ingredient that really made it farcical. Add to that, in one paragraph (above) you display a very limited knowledge of the English language as well as the criminal justice system.

The FBI?! Really...they don't add anything good to the story. (Why do authors think people actually want to read about the FBI when there are already a million shows on TV that nobody watches about it?)

Unoriginal, vapid, took a left turn to nowhere, characters uninteresting. Yes, please continue...

I understand that you say you are dyslexic and anyone can see that you have some trouble writing. You need an editor as you know, however until you get a real editor try to get someone to proof read your story before you submit it. Many of your issues can be fixed just by that. The story line is not bad, it is just so disjointed by having the wrong words in the wrong place. Spellcheck can not fix that. Good luck.

Good story, well written, it is easy to overlook the grammar as it’s nothing major. Looking forward to the next chapter, good luck

Why do so many of you pathetic authors make the betrayed husband out to be the bad guy? He has every right to want no contact with his wife. He's not a bad guy for that. She's the one who destroyed the marriage not him.

Finish it. Interesting plot, but some better proof reading is needed.

Please finish the story yourself, to me the story is much better if the ending is a continuation of the thoughts of the original author.

Too many stories are ruined by a ending submitted by a writer who has a totally different perspective.

Just my opinion

Thanks (like the story so far)

Pretty good story. A few odd word choices or misspellings. The writing was dry. Please finish the story. 4 stars.

great story -pls add a 2nd part

Good story. Some of the mistakes were "jarring" and stopped the story completely until the meaning could be unraveled. But for someone who has a reading and writing problem, you did extremely well. You did better than some authors who are just lazy writers. The more you write, the better you will compensate. Thanks for your story.

You should be proud of your efforts. And don't allow people to talk crap to you about your problem. Just like someone who is color-blind, or is very short, or is missing a limb; you are who you are and you are making the best of it. If someone doesn't like it, they can jump off of a bridge. Preferably, a very high bridge. As my Australian son in-law would say, " Oey! Good on ya, mate."

I liked the story. Any opinions I have about the content or the way the story progresses is irrelevant.

Good story keep it up. You can’t stop there. Hate cliff hangers, pleas finish. A few stumbles with the writing, but no big deal you get the main idea. These are free stories, people criticize for minor mistakes. They are not paying $20 for a book!

You really need to spell check.

You write O.K. but you really, really need an editor.

Dyslexic or not, get an editor. And maybe take some time, and try using some assemblance of original thought, not this cliche fest.

I know, I know, you beta writers expect only great reviews for your crap. Well sunshine, look at the ratings overall. The well adjusted, intelligent readers don't care for writers who make husbands simps like themselves.

I liked the story and would like you to finish it.

About dyslexia, I had a dislexic teacher, have some dislexic friends and have an ex that is dislexic. In my experience with them, they don't see mistakes, their brain reorder letters or numbers so they see them as correct. In the few cases where they see something as incorrect, their fingers keep on writing it in a different order. Don't sweat it, I'm colour blind, expecting me to be able to see the colour green is just silly. To me the grass is orange like the fruit. Nothing to fuss about. Anyone complaining should volunteer to edit or ask for a refund X)

I think the story is fine, A few typos, but it happens. You should finish your own work. It's okay for someone to offer their own spin later, but the work, good or bad, should be the original author's. It's an interesting circumstance, she was pretty much raped, so I'm not certain why she didn't tell her husband and go that route. I can totally understand why he doesn't want anything to do with her right then. It's alot to take on, especially you're not sure whether to support her abandon her. Who wants the baby bump of a little bastard reminding you everyday. But she couldm have taken a plan b, or had an abortion, if she really wanted to save her marriage. Like I said, interesting circumstances. Keep writing.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Yes there are some grammatical errors but not enough to lill the reading. I hope the twins end up the husband's. However if you as the author go in another direction I would gladly read it. Keep the story and ending true to what you want. Good luck

What did u expect cheater. Once a cheater ALWAYS CHEATER!!!!!!!! Thats what you are and always will be. Sounds like he will take care of kids as he should . If they r his. If not FUCK YOU

First, don't hit readers with a "to be continued" at the end without any warning up front. Second, don't hold the rest of the story hostage to influence ratings and comments. You're only setting yourself up for failure as this immature behavior is going to negatively influence the readers' opinions of you and your story.

I'm sorry you were unable to find an editor. I wish I had time to do that, but I also struggle trying to find time to write. I will point out one mistake you made at least twice, using "column" when you meant "calm" instead. Most of the rest seemed to be one-offs, but seeing that one twice caught my attention.

As to the story itself, it has potential but struggles. I'm not saying that Tommy is doing everything right, but you're portraying him as much worse than he probably is. If you're honest, you can't really blame him for not being there and excited about the pregnancy since it would just set him up for even greater heartbreak if they're not his. If they turn out to be his and he steps up at that point, the kids will never have suffered from his absence. Their mother might suffer from it, but that's on her for drinking when she shouldn't have (since she knew she was taking cough medicine. Read the label...)

So, in conclusion, I hope you FTDS but I also hope you allow him his human reaction without crucifying him. I also wouldn't mind seeing his brothers reel their wives back in a bit, either by hinting they'll be the next to divorce or by having a P.I. follow them not so discretely so they realize that supporting a cheater weakens trust.

I think this story warrants a part 2. I like stories with twists! If there are twins one could be from each guy, that would be interesting!

First, your introduction was mature, responsible, and really cool. Everyone makes mistakes and online sites can be a pain.

I dug your story and would love to see a second chapter!

Constructive criticism: I liked the voice of the main character and the main criticism would be too much telling and not enough showing.

Keep writing please!

Thus time bad comments for a Crap story! Please no part 2!!!

I would like to read a continuation of your story, please? I like it so far!

Story was written just fine. I don't see why there are commenter giving you grief. I get why some people would be upset with the husband, but put yourself in the man's shoes. He's warned her about the very man she cheated with.....willingly.....and might be having that man's babies. There are at least several red flags and betrayals she conducted to get that far. That's not a one off mistake. She's not a victim either. She chose to break this man's heart over and over again. It sucks that life got harder for her. Not his fault. Not his job anymore. Her roadblocks were childish and cruel. Her manipulating the sisters is cruel. She's done a alot of me me me. Not everyone needs closure. Not all talks hash out huge betrayals. Its sometimes the healthy and correct thing to walk away from a toxic person. Yes, it's selfish. Nothing evil about looking out for yourself. And at least he wants to actively be a father if they are his kids. That speaks volumes to his strength, not weakness.

Good story, I'll be waiting for part two

Please continue,

the story and writing,

Some spelling, grammar issues, but good flow regardless.

Nurse may have a point, Tommy has basically abandoned a pregnant woman who is carrying the 50/50 chance of his children.

She was basically raped by her boss, thought she should have got a bigger settlement.

Keep it up,

Mark

Hope

1 Tommy is not the father

2 She knew about All the things going on at the golf outing.

3 FBI lockets the cheating cunt up

I think it would be a shame if you left this unfinished.

I think, given you being dyslexic, you have done a good job. Yes, there are a few mistakes, but they didn't distract from the story.

It's coming along nicely can't wait for chapter 2 keep up the good work

Sure, you need to work on your craft more, but the narrative isn’t horrible. If anything, you need to add more depth to the characters to draw us further into your universe. One technical oversight in regards to paternity, they can do a DNA test while she’s pregnant and that would make sense more than the route you took. If you need help with editing, get in touch and I’ll assist. 4*

It will be 1* if you don't finish it. At least 4 if you do.

Dude, that is terrible the way you ended the story, with a complete non ending. The writin was choppy and a bit hard to understand, so the reader has to wade thru that, and then you dont finish the tale.

Not a bad little story. Not sure why hubby is the bad guy. Your female character broke him when she cheated. Since you have him being that type of guy why would we expect him to have anything to do with her.

It simply pisses people like me off when authors, any authors, don't finish a story. It makes me far less likely to read any continuation or stories by that particular author ever again. In this case, you beat a horse to death with continually harping on how mean Tommy was being to his slut wife. It's okay to push the point once or twice, but you just harped on it. You created no sympathy for the wife, didn't take a simple blood test to establish paternity and then didn't finish the mess you made. Not good.

Life would be easier for you if you'd just admit you enjoy taking it up the ass...

please finish your story. I enjoyed reading it.

Though is not Thought, which is the correct spelling. Column (think Greek and Roman buildings,) is not Calm. You spelled both of those words wrong every time you used them. The other mistakes were to small (and maybe one time only) to mention. Just trying to aid in your writing. A good story so far.

The plot was okay. However it was difficult to empathize with any of the characters. They seemed like cardboard cutouts with pro forma dialogue. You’re right about the spelling and grammar. I couple mistakes really stuck out. You use column for calm and used indite for indict. The former is a big one and the latter is understandable. Keep on working at it. Everyone has to start somewhere.

The content of your stories is good, but you really do need to find an editor. There are quite a few grammatical and punctuation mistakes. Don't get down on yourself though because that's what editors are for! Just try to find one :-)

don't give up due to the haters. You've made an admirable effort and the story is good.

Keep going!!

I would like to see part two. The story is interesting and I do find myself leaning toward the wife's side. I noticed some errors that I typically see in voice to text conversions, like substituting column for calm. Don't know if this is something you're using.

I hope you keep writing and even more I hope you find an editor to help you.

And I really hope she keeps whoever is the father away from her kids and gets on with her life.

Story line is promising. Keep going.

What an entitled bitch.

And the husband is the one being vilified. How dare he not welcome his cheating wife with open arms after finding out she is pregnant, quite possibly by her boss.

Tommy is the only sympathetic character in the story.

Don't let negative comments make your decision to write or post. There seem to be anonymous fools who only exist to trash authors' attempts to put thought to paper (or in this case, e-paper) and should not be the deciding factor in your publishing YOUR story.

I always have my completed story ready to publish and tell readers to come up with their own endings if they so desire. KEEP WRITING!!!

Not a bad story, but you definitely need an editor to review the spelling, grammar, and to tighten up the story as well.

You have some promise as an author... but a bit of polishing would be be a very good thing for you.

Keep going! You’ve got me really interested in finding out how it all ends and that’s good for a new writer. As others have said ignore the haters. You’re doing something I and many others can’t do and you’re doing it in the LW category which can be difficult. Thank you for putting your work out there. Well done.

Not bad. You definitely need an editor / proof reader.

Try reading your story out loud before submitting it. We become so familiar with our work our minds gloss over our errors.

Keep writing. The best way to get good at something is with practice. You have promise.