All Comments on 'I Have a 50-50 Chance'

Please continue this story. Accept and process any constructive criticism, and dismiss the insulting comments. Unlike them, you have the willingness and courage to write, and put yourself out there.

I enjoyed the theme and flow of your story. It warrants your finishing it. Until you have someone to assist you in that regard, just keep writing!

Thank you for your efforts.

G

Nice story, however the grammar is the worst ever written.

Decent start to a good story. Don’t let the haters get you down, you owe no one any apologies. It’s your story, so you can take your characters in any direction you choose. Yes, there are few places where a good editor can smooth out the little wrinkles, but details, details, right? I am looking forward to the next part to see what happens to this woman who made a tragic mistake.

Good story line. Some word and spelling mistakes however it makes me motivated to read # 2. Keep plugging writing is hard even without your challenges.

Bad story because ahe cheated and the sis inlaw wants to be involved with the kids even if they are not her bros? Wtf the husband is eight in his actions.

Must admit I’ve never read a more horrid little tale, she cheated on her husband, hurt him in the worse possible way but skips through this tale bleating on like the injured party.

Worse still she supported by every female member of his close family, not a one shows any consideration for the hurt and humiliation he’s going through. His sister in laws and even his sisters sided firmly against him and made no effort to consider how he’s feeling during all this.,

They’re all shocked he won’t talk to her, what’s to talk about? She fucked her boss, because (in part) she got drunk but by they way it’s set out also because he looked like George Clooney.

She gets a lawyer (another female) who thinks he’s behaving badly because he won’t talk to her and wants a divorce. Then they play a merry game for their amusement in holding up the divorce with all many of trivial, even childish, excuses.

Even when she finds out she’s pregnant the women all firmly continue supporting her and think their brother:brother in laws behaving awfully for seeking a divorce.

Even a nurse in maternity shies no regard for him, saying he’s behaving terribly leaving her alone. There’s a 50/50 chance he’s the father - also a 50/50 chance she’s carrying her bosses child after having unprotected sex while not protected.

The dumb slut even thinks baking his favourite apple pies and turning up at work to hand them out to his work colleagues and him somehow will make up for her fucking her boss. Really, is that how little she thinks of him? Is that what will see the hurt and embarrassment?

‘Oh I fiucked my boss but look I baked you a pie’ Suppose at least she’s not trying to feed him cream pies.

She complained he’d done well after getting a pay out off her employer and her boss had got time off with a win but poor her lost out.

Then she gets a reward for betraying her husband, good pay out from work and the promise of a college fund for the child if it’s the bosses (although he won’t make an effort to help raise it -that will be hobbies job) least she’s happy, now she just needs ger husband to agree to raise them, accept responsibility for feeding and taking care of the. Once he starts doing this the law considers him the father and he’s fucked financially next time she fuckscaround.

All for not being responsible and keeping her legs closed, she still feels badly done too. They’ve got a good pay out, why carnt hubby be happy for them.

His sister added insult to injury by saying she’s accept the kid has her niece even if it was her lovers - most of us would be cutting this sister out of our lives. Disloyal cunt.

And when the kids born he’s the saddled for 18!years child support and alimony because she wanted to fuck George Clooney.

Would these women be so supportive if the husband had cheated, no they’d be calling to burn and ruin him

Obviously men’s feelings are not worth anything in the eyes of these women and the whole tales a feminist dream. Only women are important, entitled and forever faultless and all men are worthless.

Your obviously a woman and this take will go along the RAAC line she the dumb cuck will sacrifice what will respect he has and merrily start raising some other man’s kid.

Show some balls, kick her out, cut out the sister and find someone decent.

I would be glad to help you edit your work. I am a member of a national organization and have been on the literature committee for years. Just contact me @ krazicat99@gmail.com. I enjoyed your story and look forward to the second part of it.

Keep it going please

Lots and lots of misused words (indite instead of indict, though instead of thought, etc). Lots more. Some messed up sentence structure. If you can’t afford an editor or proof reader, do it yourself. Not that hard. Unless maybe English isn’t your primary language.

Might be one of the most ridiculous stories ever posted on this site! I think it was written by someone not old enough to be on this web site.

Why don't character's in these stories ever take plan B or abortion. The minute she was pregnant the chances for her marriage survival dropped way below 50/50. Also, knowing she cheated and could be carrying a bastard child, I wouldn't have anything to do with her or her pregnancy either. I would hope she was unhappy and sad as I was, for putting us in the position we were now in. Why would he want her to feel happy or secure, by him being there with her.

Delusional nurse comments at the end ruined it. It doesn't matter what DNA is in the baby. It only matters that she was a cheating whore. QED. he doesn't need to be there to 'support her' let her find that comfort in the arms of the man she looked to outside her marriage. If the kid is his, fine, support it financially, love it even, visit, vacations, whatever, but that woman should never, ever, be a serious part of his life, or in his heart again.

Good beginning!

4

Kind of dim witted. The options look pretty clear to me. If the babies are a product of her marriage she can thank God and enjoy her extended family, with or without her betrayed husband. There will always be the chance that her husband might eventually forgive her one night of drunken failure.

\

If the babies are the product of a drunken stupor she can put them up for adoption and ensure they have a two parent home with Responsible Intelligent parents. If she keeps the bastard children she is just confirming how selfish and egocentric she really is. Her husband has to give up his previous marriage to a chaste loyal loving wife. So why shouldn't her one night stand as a drunken slut cost her her bastard children? She can't claim she is keeping the children for the children's benefit, what do they know? The children will love whoever they identify as their parents. She is keeping the children for her own satisfaction and pleasure, a trophy of her one night stand with a screaming asshole who fucked over her and her husband. Why would the husband even consider reconciling with such a short sighted selfish bitch?

\

If she puts the bastards up for adoption at least the husband can be certain that she is truly remorseful, thinking beyond herself, and doing whatever she can to exhibit contrition and remorse for her drunken rut, making what restitution she can by eliminating the product of her betrayal.

\

Looking forward to the DNA tests.

All of her bullshit and the nurse is going to slag on the victim in all of this? Utter shite.

You need to edit your writing

I HAVE A 50-50 CHANCE

A few edits are in order (but nice story)

and either was Lisa's husband

and NEITHER was Lisa’s husband

told me to packs and leave

told me to PACK and leave

Now I needed to fine a lawyer

Now I needed to FIND a lawyer

Laura Crown, I hired her to represent me

Laura Crown; I hired her to represent me

Johnathan, Tommy's brother was representing

Johnathan, Tommy's brother, was representing

Tina, Tommy's younger sister did

Tina, Tommy's younger sister, did

besides Brian and Keith, that knew

besides Brian and Keith, WHO knew

told me that he had to let go

told me that he had to let ME go

he would have another to do with me or

he would have NOTHING to do with me or

against her will in a looked room

against her will in a LOCKED room

you can holder her for 24 hours

you can HOLD her for 24 hours

I'll take the two idiots in front

I'll take YOU two idiots in front

Jonathan was column and asked

Jonathan was CALM and asked

I was the one that scheduled

I was the one WHO scheduled

was an emotional reck in tears

was an emotional WRECK in tears

nothing to do with your question your question

nothing to do with your question

She makes a cuck out of her husband; she is pregnant, probably by her lover, and SHE has the gall to think he is being unfair? The husband did not hit her, kill her, or her lover, or even go nuclear. He did not leave town, he did nt go after her, her job or her boss.

The lady is to stupid to live, and is beneath contempt. What a bitch.

"They told me that Larry had taken advantage of me when I was drunk"

Then don't druik. We PUT PEOPLE IN JAIL for drink-driving (DUI, for the Yanks). "But they were drunk when they killed that family." is not an excuse. Nor is it an excuse for adultery.

It's a bollocks excuse. No one, man or woman, can use that. Unless women want to GIVE UP equal rights, they need to step up and take responsibility for what they do, drunk or sober.

For being Dyslexic you're doing a good job. The story is nice and I wouldn't let the assholes who can't enjoy the story line without crying over a few misspellings stop you. Keep it up. If you have a friend or someone that you can trust to proof read them before you post that might help. Good luck and keep writing!

oprime

The author gave an explanation at the font of the story providing an explanation of why there are errors. Your comments would have better been served via a private email.

Unlike many who post, this author not only acknowledges his errors and potential errors, states requesting editing assistance but received none.

Had/has potential. But, you really, really need an editor.

Excuses excuses excuses You became a slut and now you have to pay the piper I hope he never takes you back (jaybee186)

For the love, GET AN EDITOR..... Your Spell Checker just doesnt hack it.

I'll give you the benifit of the doubt that you'r not an illiterate high school dropout, so that leaves us with the fact that "Auto Fill" is probably the culprit for all the wrong words and mistakes...

All the above, ruined what had the possibilitr of being a reasonably good story...

Please, PLEASE, Get an editor and don't give up..

Geez. How about a plan B pill after ger guilt ridden romp. She has like 3-5 or 5-7 days based on which medication. Instead she just plays impregnation roulette. And yes the husband is an asshile for not at least talking to her. Ah good Old Testament husbands. What a mess.

"While my life was fucked, literally, I was making out pretty good, two and half year's salary and bonus, healthcare and now a college fund. All I needed was Tommy to forgive me."

So. My question to her at this point is: Why? Why the F would you want him back...or take him back if the children are his. Move on girl. You avoided the bullet this time why subject yourself to a lifetime of punishment from a Tommy boy?

For heavens sake learn how to spell!

This is retarded.

Wow, some of these comments are atrocious. You need to give some of them their money back. Sure there were some pretty big errors, but it's a real bitch to try to edit something you wrote yourself; especially when this isn't your day job and you're just trying to get better. So take the constructive criticism from these jerks and let the English professors keep their attitude. I thought it was a pretty good story so far and I was hoping you would continue with a part 2. Of course, I used the random story list to get here so I don't know if you've written a part 2 or not.

Watch out for the "Sisterhood" they back each other right or wrong. She fucks another man, and the husband is wrong? #BitchPlease#

re-reading this story. She needs to take what she can from her husband then get the F away from the psychopath as quickly as possible.

Fuck the bitch nurse!!! The fact that there’s anything less than 100% certainty regarding paternity absolutely justifies her husband not being with her! Also, she’s NEVER in 30 years as a nurse had a woman alone delivering a baby?!? That’s absurd. Even if somehow they lived in a community with no sex before marriage, and absolute fidelity in marriage, there’s many reasons why a husband might be absent. Military deployment, dead from a auto crash, etc.

To the author: Your struggle with dyslexia isn’t apparent as much as your struggle with writing a story where people act and react as normal people do in the real world.

ZK

Your writing is horrible.

I saw that you try and claim Dyslexia as the excuse but you are just hiding behind laziness. My son has dyslexia and he is a CPA when I asked how he could do that he said 'I just have to work harder'.

Apart from the spelling, word mistakes, I liked the plot, liked the characters that you have written about

RUN FOREST RUN

i would not be there either if i thought the babies were not mine fuck that nurse whats with all the brothers and sisters being on her side she fucking cheated period i have seen so many of these stories blame every thing on being druck i say bull shit ,, drunken mistakes are just sober thoughts

The kids are Larry’s she lies to her husband about their parentage

She deserves her divorce

2/5

Decent story- Find a new Editor though