All Comments on 'I Have a 50-50 Chance'

I found the non-stop reference to George Clooney very annoying.

Finish the story

Loved it.

5 Stars

-26thNC Approved

I liked the story so far. 3.5. A spell checker is how i made it through university and lives a white collar life. If I have to make it on my own unassisted skills I would have had to earn a living walking behind a mule. Microsoft Word has a decent grammar, context scanner and Grammarly is excellent. Keep working.

Well written and would love to find out what happens!! I really enjoyed it

PLEASE DON'T stop writing because of all the haters. I liked the story - THANK YOU! Yeah, you could use a proofreader and editor. Those will come around. For my part, I'm looking forward to chapter 2 of this story.

If you cant finish, Don't start it. You have made my DNR list.

Editor, please. lt was very difficult to read. At one point l wondered if someone was using a bootleg AI Program. However, AI would have flagged the errors.

Listen to the criticisms if they are constructive. There are parts that needed some attention, an editor would have found most of them and I know its a bitch to edit your own writing. If the critiques have no ideas on how to get better then remember, there are some people that would bitch if you beat them with a brand new 2x4 so let them go. Yeah, it does need a part two. Consider this one, She has the babies and since she knows she has lost her husband and cant go back to her old boss, just don't even get a DNA test and leave that question dangling. Of course there will always be some sniveling ass that will have to try to get a DNA test done behind everyone else's back and with out permission, but it gives you a lot of directions to go.

Other than some of the spelling and grammar, this is a compelling and understandable story. I think you should continue it!

Why cant authors in this category at least Google such things as meds, drugs and alcohol if they lack experience with it? Mixing meds and alcohol is usually bad for your liver and over all health, but it doesnt make you forget your husband or make you believe that your boss is someone else! Its just a lazy plot idea. And yeah, off course the twins is Tommys... it's the crowbar to make him take her back.

Keep going

Your right. You need the help of an editor. I like your story so far. I would very much like to read an ending to it, even if it isn't a happy one. I prefer reconciliation myself.

Don't leave us forever hanging.

Please continue, don't give in to the knobheads!

I liked the story so far, thanks. You do need to either get an editor or stop and return several different times to proofread. To hell with the nit pickers, haters, etc. It is just a story.

Great story i loved it, well done :D

I liked your story. Gave it 4-stars. You definitely need an editor. Keep looking for an editor. A good editor can polish, correct spelling and grammar and help you become much better at telling your stories. Your story is a good one, but it does need to be finished. Many of the best writers use editors and proofreaders to double check their work. My best advice to you is, don't be in too much of a hurry to publish a story and if you haven't finished it, take the time to finish all of the story. This story was only two pages long, many stories can take many, many more. If a story is satisfying and interesting the length doesn't matter. Good luck and keep writing.

Intriguing characters. You should contact BlackRandl1958, the best editor on the site. You have something to say, and she'll help you say it.

Keep writing! If not the end of this story, then write another story.

There are several "authors" and many more critics who post here yet cannot string together two coherent sentences. You have declared difficulties, but your storyline is compelling and worth the effort to decipher/read.

If you find an editor, all the better. Thank you.

The story took an interesting turn. Please continue with more.

I feel as if the story just fell off a cliff. As a writer you cannot leave your reader stranded. The story was a very good effort, but it needs to be finished.

A 50/50 chance and most of your characters think that is a good thing. Wow! Hopefully someone else will pick it up. And end it.

FTDS 1* poor effort atleast put up a finished piece

Very interested in the ending.

Don't bother writing an ending. Everyone in the story is annoying.

I felt like I was proofing my dyslexic roommates papers back in college.

Story is OK. No idea where FBI plot is going. Seems irrelevant. Plenty of story with birth of twins to finish the story.

Story is pretty good, although I’m hoping that they are Larry’s and Tommy kicks her cheating ass to the curb. Then he can use some of that muscle to kick Larry’s ass, as he didn’t promise not to do that. To hell with those relatives who thought he should stick with her. Please listen to everyone telling you to find an editor sooner rather than later.

StoryTLR, this was difficult to read. Had to go back and forth.

So I congratulate you😃🥳. This is an interesting story. Definitely continue it. I want to read about her life after the divorce.

Maybe find out what happened to Connie and Lisa's marriages.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter as

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AMerryman

There are many assnomeous like myself.

Agreed dump the ass. A waist of space.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

The story plot and such is okay. Knowing you are dyslexic I give you a lot of credit for writing stories, that isn't easy.

I think leaving the story where it is is a mistake, it doesnt have an ending really. As it is you got to the denoument and dropped it off a cliff. You really need a finish to make this a real story.

My other thought is I agree with others, no one is likeable. The husband is angry of course, but he seems like a jerk, and it kind of comes off like maybe he was a jerk before all this. The wife doesn't come off as a loving wife who made a mistake and regrets it because she loves hubby, she comes off as a calculating bitch quite honestly. At least for me, I need characters I can like, in this story I wouldn't care if they all were abducted by martians.

I'm not sure if any editor could save this. Really, it wasn't that bad, but the grammar just turned me off.

To all those that got after StoryTL R get off your dang high horses. Most people who read any kind of story are not looking for misspelled words. They are looking for the enjoyment in the book itself. If yall are so good at writing how many books have you had published ???

The Broters wives on kaens side. Sister in Law sees nothing wrong about her bros wife "mistake". Karen's family on her side obviusly. Noody support Tommy except his brothes and jhonny is changing sides now. Too much love towards Karen suggests baby's are tommy's ankaren was raped drug induced. its like this I dont seethe need of a chapter 2. Just finish this.

In y humble opinion @storyTLR, prepare a GOOD plot twist for you second chapter or it would bebin vane to d it.

You definitely need an editor or at least a proof reader. Misspellings are abundant as well as words used incorrectly. Other than that, I feel the premise of the story is good. Some areas need to be fleshed out more to carry that part of the story. Please finish the story without turning it into what amounts to a bunch of short stories. I hate to have to reread the previous part(s) to read the next post coherently.

I hink you need to finish this story and calm isnt spelled column, otherwise I like your story

I don’t understand why the sisters in law support her. While taking medication, she shouldn’t have been drinking. Tommy warned her many times to watch herself around Larry. Larry is mostly responsible, but she put herself in harm’s way. Tommy has no reason to believe that it was the only time, or that it wouldn’t happen again.

You are doing fine. keep on writing. A few words that sound the same but spell differently don't mean anything to the flow of the story. Dennis

Go ahead and finish, I’m enjoying it so far.

Awaiting part 2. Want to see where you go with this!

I don't know about nicer comments but you need an editor who can help you with spelling and grammar.

I didn't understand what was the main message of the author? Does a woman deserve leniency, forgiveness and reconciliation just because she is pregnant? Unknown from whom? The attitude of the female part of the family to the incident is also alarming. I would think in the place of the husbands of these "sympathetic and understanding wives." It is obvious that they do not consider treason to be something unacceptable and clearly expect that in a similar situation, but with their own "indiscretions", they should get away with it with minimal shocks and damage to marriages.

Story is ok, 4/5. Tommy is an arsehole. I’d think twice about him as well

Keep writing I really enjoyed it. I just hope that the children are Tommy's and that they can get back together. Plus she sues the firm.

Finish This, I would like to see what is going to happen!

I liked it. The writing style gives the main character a capacity for introspection and perspective which I enjoy. There is more to the story. Tommy is over the top on this and there is a reason

Well that was just one big pile of stinking shit. Let’s all pile on the husband for having some self respect. And while we’re at it let’s kiss the ass of the cheating cunt. Please stop now and don’t add any more shit to this big shit sandwich.

Well done.

Essentially she was raped.

The husband is being an a##.

Really should she even want him?

Oh and sue her company.

Yes part2 please

Made you think

I enjoyed this so far, so keep going. If you would like, I can help with editing. Just contact me. Longhornfan

Good story. I agree that a few misspellings or malaprops do not affect the f!ow. Keep on keepin' on

Good story. Yes, you need an editor but the writing is good.

Thanks.

I'm gonna be honest, mate. This reads like you posted the very first draft.

I liked the plot, but the character's behavior was weird. The MC's thought process was jumpy and inconclusive. And the formatting was all over the place (kursive stopping halfway through a sentence, or continuing past a quote for no reason). Several sentences are missing words, and half the paragraphs could do with proper punctuation.

Not bad till nurse know it all makes her diagnosis in a blink of an eye. I would encourage spell and grammar check, a fee words missing from sentences too. Finish the story, whose kids are they? Will she sue the firm?

Finish the story.

Hopefully husband beat the shit out of him took pictures for proof then file. Hopefully court order counciling and they work through it and stay together.

Honestly, Larry raped her. She was so intoxicated that she could not provide consent. Tommy sounds like a real winner and I have no clue why the MC wants him back?

If you aren't going to finish it, say so at the start so we can save our time.

Nothing I read made me want to bother with part 2.

So why would a person give advice to not go back and be a family when she was the one who done wrong? Maybe she had been an unfaithful spouse.

Only two pages but also unfinished?

You should add ‘Part 1’ to the title as a disclaimer.

Maybe it makes me a weirdo, but I actually like the unresolved ending of this story. The whole idea is that her marriage is balanced on a paternity coin-flip. Does it lose dramatic tension if we see which side the coin lands on?

Brilliant. I love the tale so far. Please finish it.

I like the story, but it does need to have an ending

Please finish the story

Just a jumbled up load of bollocks and why would Tommy's brother go charging in to represent her when he is still representing Tommy in the divorce.

Screw that. Part 2 and divorce and paternity doesn't matter. As for the paternity

"I was not supposed to have my babies for another two weeks"

plus

"We've been having so much sex the past 3 week"

and

""So, it could Be my child or Larry's"? I said yes."

So she originally believed paternity landed on the week she screwed both her boss and husband. But possibly could have been conceived 2 weeks earlier.

So it's her husbands probably. Still should divorce.

Please do finish. Ignore the bad comments, some folks simply have no class and suffer from keyboard warrior syndrome when they type. Your story is interesting and I look forward to the conclusion.

Larry and José in business together? And Larry is a lawyer???

The settlement was most expensive and was in a dark alley, not a court room. Loose lips sink ships.

Wtf is this nonsense... she fools around and he is suppose to stick with her... What a bunch of hogwash...... She cheats and instead of reproting the man or telling him... hides it up and is only found out when someone else telss.... piss in muh pocket....

Abuncha shite that is

Larry took advantage of a drunken employee, subordinate, woman who he knew was married. He even had his chauffeur take her home - that is RAPE when the woman could not give legal consensual approval in her state. Then to be, in effect, blackmailed into an NDA to protect Larry's marriage/actions has to violate some law/bar-ethics?

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As far as Tommy being an unforgiving husband - NOPE, they set the rules and she knew what was expected. She acted, drunkenly, on her stated desires for an almost Mr. Clooney, she needed to guard herself and failed in the worst way possible.

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DNA testing can be obtained weeks before delivery - so this part of the story is misleading. Maybe she should call Larry's wife to midwife her in the labor/delivery room?

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I stick with Tommy and only IF the kids are his would I soften for the kids. Divorce is on for using his family to solve her CHEAT. Time for Tommy to take an extended leave-of-absence from the business (even a tour as a USN-CB) to get a clear head, deciding his future.

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TLR did you even proof read your story - some glaring typo's.

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3.5*, Hooyah, but lots of typo's/misspells too...

Lol...you silly writer.... *

I must say the story has potential to be a good one. I’m not a fan of cliffhangers, so leaving it here like this is a bummer, but hey it’s a free story so you owe me nothing.

There’s nothing wrong with the story other than perhaps some typos but to be honest I’m not a grammar expert. A proofreader might help you catch some if you wanted one, or an editor would be better, but practicing writing more stories will work to improve your skills as well

I’d love to see where this goes

Grant

My, such a great beginning to a a story. Please finish it or at least post when someone does. ............():\

@MormonJack Re: "I'm looking forward to chapter 2 of this story." - Did you see this: "If I receive nicer comments than my last story "lol," I may consider writing a Chapter 2?" "If," and "May," I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Chapter 2

All the advance apologies and whining about dyslexia do not change the fact that this is semi-literate and very poorly written. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt a second part.

She cheated and can't blame anyone or anything but herself

Alcohol? You drink it. Medicine warns you to not mix!! Etc etc

Good premise, however the execution with the wife basically narrating a great part of the story with few dialogues of other characters and the same narration is dry and at least in my case detracts to invest on the characters.

The MCs are... well are not good for each other. The wife choose to play with fire, that was bad, then she choose to keep the "incident" secret from his husband for almost a month, nevermind that if she comes clean and describe the event as an alcohol induced episode (we dont know about the rape until later) it will put a great strain on their marriage, but at least she will come as willing to take responsability. But then after the rape its discovered she still sign a NDA and basically makes her rapist walk free and still doesnt see to regret much the incident and even its in good terms with him.

The husband its somewhat a cartoonish depiction. Yes he is one of the injured parties, but after the truth comes out and his still wife finds herself pregnant, his position of no contact or talk with her, its somewhat childlish. I dpnt think that he have to take back, but yeah, speak with her and be an adult.

The other characters, specially the husbands family, in particular the sisters in law, are stapples of the RAAC genre, siding with the wife no matter what and badgering him until submission.

So back with the 50/50 motiff, if you do a Chapter 2, use the idea of the heteroparental superfecundation. I dont see them as a married couple, maybe as co parents.

Thanks for share.

I like your story. Please continue this story.

Thanks for writing it.

An utter waste of time. I'm amazed that there is such a clamor for another chapter. It was very poorly written and the MC's were not sympathetic characters. 2*

A good if typical plot idea. But a really awkward and stilted execution. Is English your native language? And most of the plot doesn't make any sense. The wife obviously knows her fertility and reproductive status and cycle, so why wouldn't she take the morning after pill? And apparently the wife was open to getting pregnant, and may have been pregnant before she fucked her boss, but she was still drinking alcohol? And then the husband must have heard from the janitor that his wife was fucking her boss, and he doesn't bother to question her to find out if its true, he just kicks her out and files for divorce?

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Yeah, it reads more like some high school drama, especially with all the ghosting and bickering. And why would a federal government agency be involved in a prostitution and recreational drug issue with a company and its customers? Were they transporting women or drugs across state lines? What?

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And the whole story is carried by the wife's narration. Reads like a documentary or newspaper report. You have potential, but you need work. Thanks for the effort.

You sold say up front there's no ending!

Ok at best. I can't always spell but spell correct is very easy to use.

Do you even know how to write a story? Dont bother with a chapter 2.

Gotta proofread.

The story has potential, but the delivery is very stilted and rushed. Get yourself an editor and proofreader.

i do hope you get round to the next chapter

The story has potential, and I would read part 2 if you choose to write it. I agree with those below who advise a proof reader - there are many sentences where the reader's flow is interrupted trying to figure out what you meant to say.

Don't let the mean reviews put you off. Thank you for sharing the story.

Learn to spell and take an a English course. It was required in the past???

That's it ? ? ? ?

Well for that you get a whole 1 . . . . .

You're welcome . . . mrBill

enjoyed it!

please, bring us more!!!

RA

I gave you three stars only because it wasn’t finished. Finish it and I will come back and up the number of stars. I liked the story up to here.

Finish the story. I wold love to read it.

Please finish the story

I will be happy to vote and comment on your story when it is finished.

she is a cheat and has the nerve to be upset because her husband does not want anything to do with her. She seems to be an idiot as well as a cheat. Her sister-in-laws also seem to be idiots.

one star-1*

The name of the story is dumb. She may have a 50-50 chance of being PG by her lover or her husband, but she doent give her a 50-50 chance of staying married with most husbands.

Is it over? Did you give up on the story?

I really enjoyed this story. The most important part is the plot and characterisation and that is great. There are some typos and trivial grammatical errors but These did not stop me from enjoying the story. Please do keep writing and finish this one!

Yes please finish

5 stars

You need to finish the story, who's the father and did they or didn't they part ways.

Great story so far.

If you're going to leave us hanging like this, don't bother submitting any more half finished stories.