I'll Try It Ch. 04

"Shall we?"

I smiled and took his hand standing up and we walked out to his car.

"Do you.. um know how much time I have?" I asked glancing at my phone. I tried to put it away and realized I had no pockets or purse.

"Not exactly. It's never exactly the same. My friend told me it can depend on your metabolism, how full your stomach is, and a bunch of other things in your body. Generally, it's safe to say you'll always get at least 4 hours, but it could go as long as 10. My first time I got about five or so."

Looking at my phone, and I realized it's probably been about two hours already between me freaking out, getting dressed, hair, and make up. I had a new respect for how girls get ready. At least we have a few hours to try things out.

After climbing into his car, my dress got twisted and I completely forgot I can't just climb into a car like before. He chuckled as I quickly pulled everything back down into place.

"Sorry" I said blushing.

"I get it. It's different. I know how it is. You're doing great." And he reached out touching my hand looking at me with a kind and caring look. He wasn't teasing me. He wasn't giving me a hard time even though I'm probably making 10 mistakes per minute. I smiled and adjusted my hair out of my face.

He got in and I asked, "So um, where are we going?

"Well, it's a bit late so I thought we'd keep it simple. It's important for you to be around other people and to let people see you like this. Get used to that. It can be... let's say... different."

I sat reverently in the seat listening. The thought of other people seeing me made me nervous and I worried I wouldn't act right, and everyone would know I'm a fake. At the same time, it was also exciting.

"So, let's just go walk around downtown a bit. Maybe hit a bar."

"Okay, sounds fun!" I said feeling excited but a bit nervous like a fish out of water.

We arrived and parked on a fairly busy street. As I opened the car door, I remembered to keep my legs together. It did feel a little strange how tight I could close my legs and never catch my balls in between. It felt strange to have 'nothing' there. I swung my legs out together and then stood up smiling that I didn't flash anyone. The wind blew my hair a little, but I moved it out of my face.

Mark came around and he took my hand. "Come on, let's take a walk."

I felt very subconscious walking around. I felt like an alien. People glanced at me, and I felt like they all knew I was a fraud. After only a few minutes, Mark must have noticed me breathing hard and fast and almost hyperventilating because he pulled me to the side of the sidewalk and whispered to me.

"Look. I know this is strange. But remember. You are 100% woman right now. It's not a costume. It's not fake. You are as woman as any woman out here. It's true you didn't grow up in this body. You never had to grow up as a woman and deal with the things most women deal with. But for right here and right now, physically, there is no difference. Be proud of what you look like."

Then he stood back holding my hand and yelled louder, "Besides! You're fucking hot!"

I knew other people heard him and it made me smile and blush looking away. I slapped his arm playfully laughing a little and feeling more relaxed. And we kept walking.

I felt more and more comfortable as we walked for the next 15 minutes. The awkwardness melted away and I stopped caring if people were looking. A gust of wind came by and my dress lifted making me instinctively reach down my hips smoothing it down.

He noticed me struggling and asked, "How about we get out of this wind? Let's go in here." As he pointed to a bar we were standing in front of.

I nodded and he took my hand leading me in. The bar was darker but full. It was a basic bar with two bartenders across the bar on the left, the middle filled with rounds and high-tops, and a few pool tables over on the far right. I remember we'd been here once or twice after work but this felt different. The bar was full, but Mark still found us a table and I climbed up into the higher chair trying to manage my dress at the same time. I looked around and I got the feeling the whole room was looking at me. I glanced around and I saw a few of the guys in the room staring at me and even a couple girls glancing and whispering. Mark was oblivious to it.

The server came over and asked what we'd like. I ordered my usual beer as did Mark and I felt we had a moment to ourselves.

"So how do you feel so far? Weird? Does it feel more natural yet?" he asked.

I couldn't get over the feeling of being stared at. I looked down. I messed with my wig. It was starting to get itchy. I felt my clothes a bit more constricting than usual. I started breathing harder and Mark grabbed my chin and pulled my eyes up to his.

"J... look at me. You are okay. I know how you feel right now. I want you to know you are safe, and nothing is going to happen to you. I promise."

I took a deep breath and somehow his words were the perfect combination to the lock up my anxiety. The server brought our beers and I quickly started to drink mine down. I've been known to just chug one of these down, but this was so much bigger, so I only managed a few swallows before I had to put it down.

"I know... things feel bigger, don't they?" He commented after drinking half of his beer. He knew what I was thinking every minute.

I nodded as I set mine down on the coaster fiddling with it trying to focus. I felt so strange. Nothing felt normal but I realized it wasn't me this time. It was the world. The world felt different.

"I have to use the bathroom" I exclaimed a little louder than I needed to and rushed off towards the bathrooms.

Getting down the hall, I was almost going to walk into the men's room and quickly stopped. I noticed a line for the ladies and glancing back and forth I slowly backed up getting into line. The other women chuckled thinking I didn't know it was about me, but I stood patiently waiting. I made it in feeling like I may explode and locked the stall. All in all, nothing seemed much different in here aside from the lack of urinals. I clambered in, lifted my dress, pulled down my panties and sat down as pee just gushed out. I closed my eyes and smiled feeling blissful relief. I swear I sat there for an hour just relaxing but it was more likely just a minute. I remembered to wipe, stood up, pulled up my panties, and flushed.

I walked out and noticed all the girls were staring into the mirror touching up their make-up. A part of me wanted to join, but I didn't even have anything with me. It felt like I was in a play, but I didn't know the lines or what to do while everyone else did. I just quickly washed my hands and dashed out the door. Back at the table I quickly sat down and drank another large part of my beer.

"You okay Jason?" Mark asked with an empty glass. The server came over giving him another beer as I hesitated to answer him.

"I don't know. I just feel like... like everyone is... staring at me." As I take another drink.

He takes a casual drink. "You feel like there are eyes all over you. You feel some of the guys in here just stare at your ass or your boobs and don't care about anything else. You feel the girls in here are scowling at you like you're some kind of slut. You feel others know what you're doing." He casually takes another drink. "Am I close?"

I stared at him slack jawed and stunned. He obviously knew what I felt. But he had to learn all this himself. I blinked touching his hand and just nodded ignoring the room now.

"Listen, if you're not comfortable here, we'll jet. Just give me the word." He said already halfway through his beer.

I hesitated and at first, I wanted to say let's go. But then another part of me kicked in - the 'fuck them' side of me. I quickly drank the last of my beer almost choking on it.

"No. No I'm not going to give into this shit. I just feel weird. It's me. I'm fine. But if we're going to stay, maybe we should get something stronger." I say with a wink.

He quickly waved the server over and asked her for four shots of vodka. I smiled and I just gave into it. I glanced around noticing a few guys checking me out, but they'd look away as I glanced only making it more obvious. I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, "God, is this how I seem to girls? Pitiful."

The server came back, and Mark quickly lifted a shot for a cheer. I lifted mine.

"To, new experiences!" He said as we clinked. I shot it back and it burned like usual, but I managed it.

He set his down and said gruffly, "I need to take a piss." And got up heading to the bathroom. I sat there thinking how he won't have to wait as long as I did.

Not more than 30 seconds after he left, some guy slid up to my right side and leaned on the table. He smelled of beer, but he had short dark spikey hair, a medium length beard, and looked like he could have been an extra in 'Fight Club'.

"Hey there Caramel, how are you tonight? Did your man leave you all alone here luv? Such a shame for the most beautiful girl in here to be alone." He said as his eyes locked with mine. I felt strange but I felt that while his come on was kinda lame, it also, kinda worked -- especially with the British accent he carried. I smiled without thinking about it looking away.

He reached out and took a hold of my wrist. Firm but nothing painful. I glanced over and Mark was nowhere to be seen. For the first time, I felt a little scared. This guy was probably 230 and had some pretty rough hands and knuckles. I knew he wasn't a stranger to punching people's teeth in. I really felt the difference in our sizes and our physical ability. Even if I tried to defend myself, it would probably just be annoying for him.

"Hey, I mean it you know. I saw you when you walked in with that wanker, and you are more than welcome to come join me and my friends so we can show you a good time luv. How 'bout it?" He said waiving towards one of the pool tables. Three other guys waved back, and I saw a look in their eyes. It was something new. A look I'd never seen before. Every, single, one of them, wanted to fuck me and the thought shocked me hardening my nipples like rocks.

I tensed and I felt I wanted to go. I pulled my hand away and said, "I'm sorry. It's late. My brother and I have to go." I wondered to myself why I called Mark my brother rather than my date.

I slid out of the chair just as Mark returned. I wasn't sure if this guy would stand up and mount a battle against Mark to carry me home on his shoulder or what. Mark walked up like it was nothing and then noticed him.

"Oh, hello friend, what can we do for you?" Mark said casually.

"Well, I was just um talking to your um... sister here. I didn't want any of the... rougher crowd... to come give her a hard time. Good day mate." And he walked away.

As he left, I exhaled deeply and grabbed the other shot taking it down without a thought. I told Mark, "I want to go."

He took my cue, threw some cash on the table and we quickly left.

Once I got out, I paused and held the wall. I was breathing so hard and fast. My heart was racing, and I felt lightheaded, but it could have been the vodka or the guy. I felt so strange. When he came up to me, I felt in danger but at the same time, it made me tingle all over. I felt so strange, and Mark came up behind me putting his hand on my shoulder caressing my back helping me calm down.

"I felt... so strange. He was just saying Hi but then I saw something. Something weird."

"He wanted to fuck you." He said bluntly confirming my suspicion. I looked up at him with a shocked look.

"He did?!"

"Yeah, and all his friends too probably."

I felt weak. It was overwhelming how quickly someone wants sex with me. I'm used to having to look for it, earn it, carry on with girls to just find out whether they are worth my time. Here, I have guys walking up ready to stick their dicks in me. I held my hands to my head and things felt like they were spinning.

"Come on. We should go J"

He pulled me along and I felt like I was only making every 3rd step as we hurried back down the sidewalk to his car. He opened the door, put me in, and then climbed in the driver's side.

"Here, breath into this. It'll help" handing me a fast-food bag.

I cupped it over my mouth and breathed in the smell of French fries and blew out. It took a minute, but I felt my body start relaxing. I felt my heart calming down.

"You're having a panic attack. I'm sorry. I should have warned you more."

I glanced at him still breathing in and out.

"J, you have to know. When you are like this, you are... well... fucking hot as hell." He said as I see a glimmer of the same look in his eyes. "Guys are going to look at you. Guys are going to try to talk to you, get to know you, touch you, and... have sex with you. Remember what we used to do with girls?"

For some reason the idea of having sex with a man didn't seem that strange. It made my body react and get aroused. My nipples were rock hard. My panties were soaking wet. My clit felt like it was on fire. I realized... I liked their attention. I liked it when guys were looking at me. I slowly lowered the bag lost in thought as I realize that when that guy was talking to me, I actually thought he was kinda hot. For the most part, I liked the attention he was giving me. He wanted me and I liked that.

Mark held my hand and rubbed my back. "I know. It's weird. I have an idea what you're thinking."

I looked up at Mark, my body and mind flushed with some strange attraction. I saw him differently. He was charming. He was handsome. He was ready to defend me. I felt so good with him, and something came over me forcing me to lunge towards him kissing him passionately. I tasted him, the beer, and the vodka. Our tongues intertwined as I rubbed his stubbly cheek. I felt his body tensing. I felt his hesitation, but I didn't care. His hand rested on my hip. I didn't know what to do next, but I knew how I felt.

"J... J... wait." He said slowly letting go of me.

I slowed down and slowly pulled back realizing what I did. I covered my mouth and I felt terrible. I sat back down and looked out the window feeling stupid and silly. I couldn't look at him and I felt overwhelmed making my eyes water.

"J. I know you are going through a lot right now. Everything feels so new, so interesting. We've been drinking and you need time to process all of this."

I felt overwhelmed. I wanted to cry but I never cry. I felt scared but aroused. I felt like I was an alien in a strange world. Nothing made sense.

"Let's go back to my place. You only have a little time left" he said starting the car.

I turned and just nodded almost sobbing. I felt like a mess. I felt like I was in an ocean and just being belted with wave after wave of feelings and emotions. I couldn't control them as they pulled me under the water, and I just started crying. It felt like hours to get back to Mark's place. I got out of the car and ran to the door, but it was locked. He quickly came up behind me unlocking it and I ran to the bathroom. I couldn't take it anymore. I yanked out the wig, quickly stripped my clothes and flew into the shower. The warm water rolled over me and it felt like heaven. I felt all of it washing away and I just stood there letting it cascade down my head, shoulders, and run down my body over my hips and down my legs. The tension melted away.

A knock on the door interrupted it and I glanced up.

"J? J? You okay buddy?"

I hesitated and then managed a "Yeah... I'm okay." I took another breath. "I'll be out in a minute".

Turning off the shower, I stepped out pulling a towel around me. At first, I wrapped it around my waist but then stopped and pulled it up over my breasts. I covered my hips and my curves as I wiped the steam off the mirror. I looked at myself. I just stared at me. I saw what I looked like and while it was a completely different body, it felt normal. It felt right. It felt natural.

At that second, the aches suddenly came back cutting through me. I let out a loud groan and fell to the floor. Mark quickly rushed in, but I couldn't hear what he said. I could see him but for some reason I couldn't hear him like my ears were ringing. He looked at me and I felt the towel falling away but I didn't care if he saw me. He picked me up and carried me to his room laying me on his bed.

My whole body was on fire. I screamed out and groaned as I felt every bone crack. I felt my chest shrinking. The bed started to feel smaller and before I knew it, I passed out.