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Suraya licked her surprisingly chapped lips with an equally dry tongue. Jordan began to slowly pump his cock into her mouth. Jordan softly grunted. Suraya realized that she shouldn't be thinking about Jordan and enjoying the way his face looked as her lips touched him. Suraya convinced herself the action was insanely attractive, and moved closer, wrapping her lips around the tip.
"Yeah— Sai." It came out before Jordan could silence himself. Suraya took more of him in, thinking about what other girls must have done in the past. She knew her teeth shouldn't touch it because of all the porn she's been watching lately. She knew most men didn't like it, due to the dick-biting paranoia. Suraya opened her jaw a little more, pulling her lips a little tighter around Jordan's cock. Suraya held what she couldn't take in her mouth with her hand; she slowly bobbed her head, feeling her jaw burning from the stretch.Jordan raspily moaned.
She continued to bob her head a little faster, until Jordan's hands mingled in her curly hair. With Jordan's hands shoving her a little further down, Jordan's cock hit the back of her throat, Suraya tried to push him off by shaking her head.
Jordan held her down, still fighting Suraya, and only got halfway down her throat. Letting her come up for air, Suraya gasped as the air burned her lungs.
"Please... Take it all the way, Sai... .. " Jordan pleaded, his hands tight in Suraya's hair "Please?"
"Jordan, I don't know," she panted unevenly.
Jordan heard the uneasy tone in her voice as his gaze lingered at her lips. "Please?"
Suraya felt her stomach flip slowly. Suraya winced when she realized the thought of taking him all in, but she complied with Jordan's request.
Jordan hummed as she took it all the way in. "Just like that Sai, breathe through your nose," Jordan hissed, as he pushed forward.
Suraya fought her throat's instinctual closing, and gagging. She tried to move, but Jordan held a strong grip on her hair, and moving her head in the way he wanted as if her dark-colored locks were like reins. Suraya's jaw was aching with the effort, and her neck strained as she tried to fight Jordan's pace before hearing the wet pop as soon as Jordan pulled out. He moved down between her enormous tits, cupping them in his hands, wrapping them around his thick cock, moving back and forth between them until he was again at the brink of coming.
"Fuck, Sai im about to come!"
"Can I?" Suraya asked, in a throaty whisper.
Jordan let out moan, and gripped Suraya's hair some more. Suraya's head came up to meet the head of Jordan's cock. Her lips were barely around him before he exploded in her mouth. Suraya savored the hot taste of his come, trying to get every last drop. Jordan, felt weak in the knees from the encounter, as he slowly eased off Suraya. He rested on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, undecided about what to do or where to start. He didn't want to look her in the eyes, but he knew he couldn't leave her tied up. He rose and walked to the end of the bed.
"Jordan, are you okay?" Suraya asked, in a hushed voice. Something in her voice had changed.
Jordan couldn't trust himself to speak; he continued to untie her. Once he had finished untying her, he sat down on the edge of the bed again. Without looking at Suraya, he spoke softly to her, "I'm so sorry, Sai. I... umm... had a lot to drink. You were playing with yourself and you said my name... I never meant to hurt you. My God! What have I done?" Jordan's voice was unsteady.
Suraya eased up to him and gently put her arms around him again. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I wanted you to make love to me, but I'm okay now."
Jordan laid his back against Suraya breasts and let her run her fingers through his hair. "Are you sure, Sai?" he asked, his voice soft. She fought the urge to kiss him. The gravity in his voice made her afraid of what was to come. Suraya cradled her lips, "I'm okay."
Jordan turned to lift his head, his breathing ragged as he slid back up and pressed a gentle kiss to Suraya's mouth. "Maybe next time, we'll try some different things here..." he softly murmured, as he thumbed Suraya's right nipple, "... and here..." and planting a kiss on her left.
"Next time? Jordan, you want to do this again?" She glanced at him, keeping her voice even.
"Only if you want to, of course," Jordan hesitated, caution in his voice.
Suraya's mind was racing 'only if she wanted,' she thought. "Jay, I need—"
"Let's sleep and talk in the morning," Jordan interrupted. He flipped the two of them over on the bed before pulling Suraya into his arms in a tender embrace.
- COMMENTS
4Klo_Black20about 2 years agoAuthorIf you don't like my boy, that is fine. If this isn't for You, that's also fine...But to write a whole essay. If you feel this strongly about it, how about you rewrite it the way you want it to be. Let me know when you’re done. Please send me a a copy, so I can read it. I'm not changing anything, and if you don't like it, begone satan.
4Klo_Black20about 2 years agoAuthorOh... 😮 umm, seriously, people, I don't need any pointers on how to make my story better. It's either you like it or find something else to read. NO ONE IS Twisting your arm to read this or be HERE! No one remembers that! I think it's crazy to write a whole biography about the story and telling me your dislikes 👎. I don't care because I didn't ask for it. So at this point, please give me all the negative stars you want. Critiquing or criticizing me on this site is a little weird. Last time I checked, I'm not trying to get a book deal. If this style isn't your style of writing, please go away and seriously find something else to read.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoHow to make this story better:
1) Decide what the story will be then go hard in that direction. I honestly don’t understand what I’m reading. If this is going to be a dark high school bully romance, then go all in. Don’t have us wondering if he‘s going to catch feelings or what.
2) watch your character development: if she‘s in the top 5% of the class, she‘s got book smarts. Did she just get the scholarship? What have her observations been about the new environment? If she just transferred in, she‘s smart, so show her that way, NOT naive and clumsy.
Plus our hero - is he on drugs? He has no personality. If he‘s bigging her up in his head, let’s get a peek in his head. He literally flops between trying to feel her up and thinking about her inner qualities? He has not had one decent convo with her, if he‘s supposed to catch feelings. So don’t have him say dumb ish that you haven’t prepared the reader for.
3) work some more on the setups/settings for more credibility. Going to this dude‘s house at the drop of the hat? Not believable. Going to a party, then going upstairs and taking her clothes off? Also not believable. I mean, is this a boarding school or what?
It would be more believable to have him break into her own house/dorm (that’s what I mean by go all-in)… where does she even live? Where are her parents? Is she an orphan? So much backstory missing.
4) Backstory. I know you want to get us to the sexy, but the sexy won‘t work if we don’t care a lick about Sai and Jordan.
5) why is it necessary for her to hate herself? From the first paragraph. I don’t agree this is setting BW back. BW can also be the focus of hot and sexy obsessive love too. And she can be a sweet and submissive goodgirl, because BW are not a monolith.
And if she does have low esteem, show us what has brought her down. She started out wearing baggy unflattering clothes. Why? Is she short on cash? Does the scholarship not cover incidentals? Then a Julie-makeover later she‘s in a green bodycon dress at school? Did we miss something?
Don’t be afraid to rewrite this story. Heck, read some of the dark romance stories on the market to get a feel for the genre…
Anonymousabout 2 years agoForget all those negative comments, this is a good story and I would like to read more.
